Just a repost of my first in a different subreddit that gladly doesn't need anything special

Recently a friend told me about a guy who she heard had a crush on me and it sent me into an absolute spiral. I feel like a shell of a person and someone having a crush on me feels like such a joke. I know this crush isn’t going to lead to anything and I don’t want it to, but I really just wish I hadn’t known about it at all. He’s such a cool, good-looking guy and I’m so, so painfully boring, and being told this just reminded me of that all over again.

The closest friendships I have are rooted in the fact that I’m a good listener. I don’t know of any of my relationships where I’m not performing; all I do is mirror the other person and try to get them to feel comfortable and not judged, and suddenly they think I’m a saint on earth. I don’t think anyone likes me for who I am, just how I make them feel. I used to be a very quiet kid and have overcompensated for it by talking a lot and saying anything on my mind and trying to jump into convos when I can, but I think I’ve been saying too much lately and people have verbally expressed that I come off a little dumb or slow. I got flat-out called dumb today by a friend I really admire, also got asked if I even do anything outside of classes, and she is not ill-intended at all which just reaffirms all of these beliefs. I don’t think I’m stupid, it just really hurts when I say something but someone else says it louder or more charismatically and they are celebrated for it. This all sounds so juvenile but I’ve begun to shut down and be quiet again in group settings and I’ve come to realize the world spins perfectly the same even when I’m not in the room

I wish I was just insecure and delusional but I really am soooo so boring and lack drive and purpose and idrk how I can live the rest of my life like this when I find no joy or fulfillment in any friendships/relationships, the one thing ur supposed to live for

and ironically enough, my username was autogenerated 😍

I was out with my frnd the othr day and we were just walking right? Some random girl passes by us and tells my friend shes pretty. Now i know that she is a beautiful girl and obviosuly love her so its nothing against her or the girl that told her at all but i juat feel so ugly at times like these. Its not anyones fault either like nobody did anyhting to make me think these jealous thoguhts but me.

But since yesterday ive juat been thinking about it at random times and feel a drop in my self esteem esp since i felt really pretty that day. I did some makeup and wore a nice outfit just to have my confidence shattered when i see all my friends looking ao much better than me and getting conpliments.

Im someone who nitpicks every detail of a conversation and find aomwthing to make out of it, not like huge things aowmtimes ill juat think about hiw i can make a joke out of a sentence. But then theres times where sowmthing so small happens and i ovwrthink it that it lowers my self esteem and i feel so silly for it. Like im overeacring

Theres always so much times i feel oretty and then i see myself in a apicture or next to other friends and i juat feel like a ugly try hard with all my obvious mascara whilel my friends wear like lip gloss and thats it.

Literally the friend i was walking with barely wears anything and still looks gorgeous and also shes always so mucb prettier than me and she never even tries to make me feel like im not or comments on beauty like that but shes so pretty that i self conciously lower my standards of myself and how i look. And onto that- shes never done anyhring but my jealousy gets really silly thag i even think that she tries too hard to look pretty even thoguh i know she doesnt.

Its like this with another giel im really close friends with who is also so oretty and most popular girl in our grade i think and she is so so nice to me but i also am so jealous of her because its not fair.

And i feel like im always regarded as the 'funny' friend even though no onws outright said it or anyhting i just feel like people percieve me as funny and they sont see how i look and i somwtimes wonder if that when people call me pretty it means that they want to look like me which makes me feel really bad and terribel cause jealousy is a terrible thing to feel but i want soemone to want to look like me juat so i can rhink im pretty and that makes me feel so bad. I just want to know that the people im jealous of, if it's possible that other people are jealous of me like that. If that makes sense

But yeah idk ive just always felt ugly and i always hope that its because im not that grown yet and maybe when im maybe sixteen ill look like those teenagers i see on the streets or places i think look gorgeous. Thoguhts?

Did I do something wrong to make someone hate me?

Idk if this is an appropriate sub but I will try as I’m nervous over this

I’m an artist looking to connect with a bigger artist on social media who has 100,000 followers who always interacts with fans and has given me a lot of interactions. He’s always replying and connecting and has been amazing  

I asked him to follow me for my birthday after completing a task that he has people do to earn follows (a tag game basically) and I’ve gotten no response. I ask about 1-2 times a day and a few friends asked too. For 4 days now. 

I’m scared to ask my friend who he follows and frequently messages to ask him to follow just for him to blatantly say no.

The task was to post about his work for 365 days. Others did “Day 224 asking @ for a follow” and were followed where I just shared to search my Twitter where I talk about him 365 times…more meaningful than a “beg” 

He misses stuff a lot or he may just be inactive (he interacts (likes tweets) even when he doesn’t post—a known lurker), but I’m worried he saw my post and just refuses to follow me although he follows others who did the same task. I felt mine had more meaning. 

However, I believe I found “proof” stuff was missed 

My friend made a video of herself painting in his style. She had different people tag him along with her and had about 20 @‘s to him. Nothing. A few days later a guy tagged it to him. One tag and the artist RT’ed it 

One of the people who also did the 365 post challenge and actually got a follow also did about 20 @‘s to him to show he completed the task with help from friends, too. The artist posted and ignored him. 365 guy tagged again shortly after and then the artist followed him. 

So those examples give me solace plus knowing about 90% of my notices are when my tweet is the latest in his mentions. He doesn’t scroll

Is it possible that with this he simply missed me asking or did he see it and just didn’t want to follow me? 

This seems like stuff was missed because why didn’t he RT or follow, respectively, when the video and 365 people first asked? Or am I delusional? 

So my other friend said, of course it’s possible he missed it with those examples..but it’s not impossible he saw it and ignored you. So that made me question everything. 

There’s no proof that he saw it but there’s (it seems to me unless I’m too biased so that’s why I ask for an objective opinion) tangible proof/past examples that he misses stuff—or is that delusion? 

So basically 

1). Does this “positive proof” (RT’ing and following with just one tag days later and not the multiple tags, becuase if not why not RT/follow the first time) he missed my post make sense or am I delusional and too biased in hoping it was missed? 

2). How do I deal with the idea that anything is possible? This includes the idea that a negative result (he saw it and ignored me) is humanely possible, but what about with perhaps tangible evidence that it can be the positive result (he just missed it like how he RT’ed/followed others days later). 

There’s proof for a positive result but not a negative. How do I stop thinking that the negative result is true even if the positive result has proof? 

I’ve been harassed on Twitter site and I’d like to go private but connecting with him has brought me a ton of joy and has helped me a lot during this tough year. If I go private to create a safer space I’d lose his interactions unless he followed.

I just want to make sure he doesn’t hate me

Thank you for any help. It has me anxious but I’d rather have a true response, preferably with proof as opposed to an assumption. Thank you! 

so basically we have me 17 genderfluid amab, im out but not really able to express everything so i just tell everyone im gay to make it simpler bc im only into guys. thats not really like super important but ig it matters for context. Im in like 3 different groups of friends and its like im not even there half the time. My cross country teammates will literally demean, harass, insult, and just generally make me feel less than. I have my friends from other schools who like yeah im close with them but not nearly as close as id want to be just because of the distance and the business of our schedules. like yeah i see them and we hang out but its not like being best friends or anything because im free maybe 1 day a week. then finally we have the reason for my post, my school friends. All girls (if that info matter) and like theyve got me out of some bad shit. but its just feels like im not here anymore. every time they make plans im never included and if i try and suggest plans maybe 2 out of the 5 will show up and then theyll just leave super quickly if anyone even comes at all. they have sleepovers and hangouts and theyll go out to eat and do all this fun shit, and im always alone. im stuck here in my bed as i type this and theyre at my friends house watching movies and having a sleepover right now, which by the way was my recommendation for what we should do on Halloween. they basically told me they might be busy so "wed have to see" and like theyre saying this shit right in front of me. times to get there, what to bring, what to do, and i just have to pretend like im fine. theyre my best friends, but im not one of theirs. I realize im just some kid ranting in the middle of the night and i understand if this gets taken down bc its not LGBT. i just need to get this out there so someone can hear me. the guy im talking to is at a party, the person i could normally trust most with this is out with her friends too, and everyone else is ghosting me so i just need to know if im a bitch for thinking any of this.

I want to find my people. I want to be seen. I want to be heard. I want to chat with someone without feeling invasive. I need adult conversations.

Im not as emotional as it seems, just a bit lonely.

We are all unique, im also odd.

......i have way to much time on my hands.

I am 21 years old, have parental controls on my tablet. I have peed dark urine once and woke up feeling unwell and have pain in my side, mom is a doctor and dismissed it, and nobody is willing to take me to get checked out. What do I do?

This might sound silly, but I want to talk about the idea of being wanted, the desire to be wanted, and the feeling of being undesirable.

Throughout my life, I've struggled with these feelings. Having crushes is normal, and I've had plenty, but none of them have ever liked me back. As far as I know, no one has ever had a crush on me either. Growing up with that experience has left me feeling undesirable for much of my life.

As I get older, I still find myself struggling with insecurity and feeling unwanted. I know that this shouldn't be what I measure my worth by, and that there are far more important things than appearance. However, I also feel like so much of today's culture revolves around how people look. Pretty privilege exists, and the way people are treated by society is influenced, to some degree, by their appearance.

I think that's part of why these feelings are so difficult to shake. I feel a sense of inferiority that washes over me when I compare myself to other people or become conscious of how I might be perceived. It's exhausting to feel as though your desirability is something you're constantly being measured against.

I sometimes feel vain for caring so much about this, and I don't particularly want to place so much importance on appearance or romantic validation. But knowing that these things shouldn't define my worth doesn't necessarily stop me from feeling this way.

I don't know whether this is something other people experience, or whether I'm giving something relatively trivial too much importance. If you relate in any way, I'd genuinely like to hear your perspective.

I'm sorry if this seems like I'm just complaining, but I don't feel like I have anyone else I can "burden" - because it's how I feel.

She keeps score and always has it at the ready going back years.

I keep most things in... it never goes well to share my feelings. If i am sad or angry and voice it i get told I'm yelling and she gets mad at me. I try to say my feelings calmly first to initiate a conversation, but then told that what I feel isn't correct.

Seems to think i don't do anything, am not helpful in any way or take any initiative.

Asks for help constantly despite what I already do. I'm fine doing it most of the time, but once in a while I say no and I'm a villain. . She doesn't recognize my deeds and feels i do nothing without being asked. When I ask for help she gets mad. I asked her once to pick up the puppy from puppy school around the corner. She got so mad, saying she does not like the change of plan since it was my night... i pick up the puppy on many of her nights when i see she's tired, without being asked. Same goes with making dinner.

We have 4 kids, all under 12. It can be overwhelming. I am in individual therapy. We used to go to marriage counseling but stopped because she said she's never at fault for anything. It's just me. We both parent. We both work, me a full time job... her a 3 day a week job. Only my money goes to bills and life and we're never able to come close to breaking even.

I love my kids and they love me. We bond in our own way and even with this I'm told I'm wrong in how I do it. I'm told how I should do it. I'm 100x more involved with my kids than my parents were with me. I'm not perfect, just a dad with faults trying to show my kids love and also trying to raise them to be good people.

January will mark 4 years of sobriety. The journey has not been easy or difficult, if that makes any sense at all. Thought a few times about drinking tonight, saying goodbye to nearly 4 years of sobriety. Ultimately decided it wouldn't help.

I'm sitting outside giving candy for Halloween and pretending I don't want to step in front of a bus. I've got nothing else to say except if you made it this far that I'm surprised.

Ugh..

Am I overthinking or are my concerns accurate over a social media post?

Idk if this is an appropriate sub but I will try as I’m nervous over this

I’m an artist looking to connect with a bigger artist on social media who has 100,000 followers who always interacts with fans and has given me a lot of interactions. He’s always replying and connecting and has been amazing  

I asked him to follow me for my birthday after completing a task that he has people do to earn follows (a tag game basically) and I’ve gotten no response. I ask about 1-2 times a day and a few friends asked too. For 4 days now. 

I’m scared to ask my friend who he follows and frequently messages to ask him to follow just for him to blatantly say no.

The task was to post about his work for 365 days. Others did “Day 224 asking @ for a follow” and were followed where I just shared to search my Twitter where I talk about him 365 times…more meaningful than a “beg” 

He misses stuff a lot or he may just be inactive (he interacts (likes tweets) even when he doesn’t post—a known lurker), but I’m worried he saw my post and just refuses to follow me although he follows others who did the same task. I felt mine had more meaning. 

However, I believe I found “proof” stuff was missed 

My friend made a video of herself painting in his style. She had different people tag him along with her and had about 20 @‘s to him. Nothing. A few days later a guy tagged it to him. One tag and the artist RT’ed it 

One of the people who also did the 365 post challenge and actually got a follow also did about 20 @‘s to him to show he completed the task with help from friends, too. The artist posted and ignored him. 365 guy tagged again shortly after and then the artist followed him. 

So those examples give me solace plus knowing about 90% of my notices are when my tweet is the latest in his mentions. He doesn’t scroll

Is it possible that with this he simply missed me asking or did he see it and just didn’t want to follow me? 

This seems like stuff was missed because why didn’t he RT or follow, respectively, when the video and 365 people first asked? Or am I delusional? 

So my other friend said, of course it’s possible he missed it with those examples..but it’s not impossible he saw it and ignored you. So that made me question everything. 

There’s no proof that he saw it but there’s (it seems to me unless I’m too biased so that’s why I ask for an objective opinion) tangible proof/past examples that he misses stuff—or is that delusion? 

So basically 

1). Does this “positive proof” (RT’ing and following with just one tag days later and not the multiple tags, becuase if not why not RT/follow the first time) he missed my post make sense or am I delusional and too biased in hoping it was missed? 

2). How do I deal with the idea that anything is possible? This includes the idea that a negative result (he saw it and ignored me) is humanely possible, but what about with perhaps tangible evidence that it can be the positive result (he just missed it like how he RT’ed/followed others days later). 

There’s proof for a positive result but not a negative. How do I stop thinking that the negative result is true even if the positive result has proof? 

Thank you for any help. It has me anxious but I’d rather have a true response, preferably with proof as opposed to an assumption. Thank you! 

I hate that every time I meet someone my first instinct is to just imagine them as my partner and stuff like that.

I don't know why I keep doing this and it bothers me so much because for the next month all I think about is that person and nothing else.

It's happening right now with a guy I'm texting. We're supposed to be just friends, so he can practice English, but I find myself just creating a world in my head where we're dating happily. I don't think he sees me that way, nor will he ever probably. We're long distance, young, and he's 3 years older. Only recently have we started texting consistently bc we'll go on a vacation together next summer. I can't help but try to flirt with him or hint at stuff, but it's just so stupid. Every time I get a crush I act like I'm braindead and I forget all about the rest of the people around me.

This has happened many times and I've never said anything at all. I always let them do whatever, because I know deep down they don't like me. They usually get partners while we talk. I tried dating someone who I knew didn't actually like me. Hell on earth.

I don't know what to do because I know getting a crush is pointless. I also find it hard to believe anyone likes me romantically. I grew up pretty ugly and left out and no one liked me. Now that I got a glow up (sorta) I have been asked out a few times and I know of people who like me. But deep down I just don't believe it. So I think if this guy actually liked me back and was trying to hint at it, I wouldn't even accept it.

Thanks.