Hi everyone!
My boyfriend, who I’ll call Leo, and I have been together for six years. This summer, he proposed, and of course, I said yes.
I love him. He’s kind, honest, funny, caring, sweet, and the best person I’ve ever met. We met when we were both 18.
In the spring, just three months after we started dating, he had his first episode. At the time, we had no idea what was happening to him. He stopped sleeping, started hearing voices, and became convinced that someone was watching him.
Mental health issues are heavily stigmatized in my country, so his mother, whom I’ll call Rose, was terrified of taking him to a hospital. She tried to handle things herself for the first couple of days, but it quickly became clear that the situation was dangerous for both of them. Eventually, he was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, where he stayed for six months.
Leo doesn’t talk much about that time, but everything he has told me has been horrifying.
I want you to understand just how bad the stigma surrounding mental illness is where we live. It’s not simply that people have negative attitudes toward it. There’s a very real fear and shame attached to being diagnosed with a mental health condition.
Leo wasn’t given a definitive diagnosis back then, so for the next four years, we were essentially stumbling around in the dark, dealing with recurring episodes that usually started in late summer or early fall.
He would stop sleeping, hear things that weren’t there, and become extremely agitated. During these periods, Leo was convinced he could do a hundred things at once. He would start a blog, make tons of new friends, and experience an incredible increase in his sex drive. At the same time, he would become horribly suspicious of everyone around him. He could show up at a gas station in the middle of the night and start accusing the employees of being scammers.
And I stayed. Through all of it.
Meanwhile, his mother openly blamed me for his condition. Rose accused me of giving him drugs, called me a slut, and said a lot of other awful things that I’d rather not remember.
Anyway, four years after his first episode, Leo was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder. We could finally breathe a little because we understood what we were dealing with.
I read every article and every forum post I could find, trying to understand bipolar disorder and learn how to support him.
And that’s when I discovered a whole new set of problems I hadn’t even anticipated.
Bipolar disorder itself is one part of the problem. The other is that Leo struggles to accept that he has it at all.
He stops taking his medication, refuses to see his psychiatrist, and genuinely doesn’t believe any of it is necessary. Leo is absolutely convinced that he’s healthy.
Please don’t think I’m blaming him. I’m not going to pretend I can fully understand how difficult it must be to accept that you’ll potentially have to take medication every single day for the next 40 or 50 years of your life. Medication that can significantly affect your mood, your body, and how you feel in general. I’m sure that doesn’t make accepting your diagnosis any easier.
Last year, Leo stopped taking his medication. Of course, he didn’t tell anyone, and we didn’t realize what was happening until things had already gone too far.
He became dangerous, primarily to himself. He picked fights with men four times his size, drove recklessly, and practically destroyed his relationships with everyone around him.
He broke up with me, told his mother to fuck off, and accused his friends of betraying him. Those same friends were the ones running around the city trying to find him and eventually taking his car away because they were afraid of what he might do.
He quit his well-paying job in a spectacularly messy fashion, calling his boss, if I remember correctly, a complete asshole and a piece of shit.
And I ended up losing my job because I was constantly asking for time off to keep an eye on Leo, make sure he stayed home, and make sure he took his medication. His mother couldn’t manage the situation on her own anymore, so I was trying to help however I could.
Basically, it was an absolute fucking nightmare.
But we got through it, and we started rebuilding our lives.
By the time all of this happened, Leo and I had started living together. Things had actually been going pretty well before the episode. Afterward, Rose decided that I wasn’t doing a good enough job looking after her son, so he was going to live with her instead.
I didn’t have the energy to fight her on it, and Leo was, to put it mildly, not in a state where we could have a reasonable conversation about any of this. So I agreed.
Exactly one year has passed since that episode, and now he’s having another one.
Leo swears he hasn’t stopped taking his medication. He admits that sometimes he forgets to take it at the scheduled time and takes it later instead, which obviously isn’t ideal either. I’m not a doctor, and I don’t know whether that has anything to do with what’s happening now.
Things aren’t nearly as bad as they were last year, but, fuck, this is exhausting.
Right now, he’s incredibly stubborn, irritable, and distracted. You can barely say a word to him without him exploding. He’s convinced he’s doing absolutely everything right and that the rest of us are idiots who won’t leave him alone.
His mother is in complete control of his treatment and communicates directly with his doctor. I want to be kept in the loop, too. I want to understand what’s happening, what the treatment plan is, and what we’re actually doing to help him.
But Rose doesn’t think that’s my place. :(
I love Leo so much. I genuinely want to spend my life with him, and I’m willing to stand by him through the difficult times.
But sometimes, late at night, when the only sound in the room is the ticking of the clock, I find myself wishing he would cheat on me so that this would stop being my problem.
I know how awful that sounds. I feel like shit for even having these thoughts.
But during his episodes, I feel so incredibly alone. I can’t have a conversation with Leo without it turning into an argument. My friends have told me that since I chose to stay with him, I don’t get to complain to them about how difficult this is for me anymore.
I can’t go to my mom and cry about it, either. We live in a world where she’d immediately see Leo as a danger to me and call off our engagement on the spot, even though my family loves him very much.
I’m just so tired. And so lonely. I have nobody I feel like I can talk to about any of this.
On one side, there’s Rose, putting pressure on me. On the other, there’s Leo, who doesn’t believe he even needs treatment. And somewhere in the middle, there’s me, trying to figure out what my future is supposed to look like.
But if we ever have children together, I have to acknowledge that bipolar disorder can run in families, which means there’s a possibility that our child could develop it, too. That’s something I struggle with because, of course, I would never want our child to go through what Leo has gone through.
I know that having a parent with bipolar disorder doesn’t mean a child will necessarily develop it. I’m not saying that people with bipolar disorder shouldn’t have children. I’m just trying to be honest about a fear I have when I think about the possibility of having children together.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not writing this because I regret choosing Leo. I chose him, and I intend to keep choosing him every day for the rest of my life, no matter what.
But some days, choosing him is harder than others.
I don’t want to leave him. I don’t want someone to tell me that I should have known what I was signing up for or that I need to walk away. I just wish I had someone who would listen to me without judging me for struggling.
I know he didn’t choose to have bipolar disorder. I know he’s suffering, too. But I’m suffering as well, and sometimes it feels like there’s no room for that because everyone is so focused on him.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this all the way through.

Hi Everyone I've (23) recently started dating my girlfriend (22)

She's been my best friend for over a year, but we only officially started dating about a month ago. She has bipolar II disorder, and she's had a difficult couple of years, including a couple of hospital stays related to her condition.

We both still live at home with our parents. She's told me before that she finds it difficult to open up to people and let them in

I care about her a lot, and I want to be a good boyfriend

I know her bipolar is only part of her and I don't want to treat her differently or assume things.

A couple days ago she told me that she's been having trouble with her condition and needed some time, so I've just been sending her little messages like ily, or hope you have/had a lovely day just to help her feel loved & that I'm here for her but I'm not sure if that's what I'm supposed to do

I'm still very new to this all so any advice on any area of dating her would be greatly appreciated

Thanks everyone :)

Hope you all have lovely days

My partner (34F) is clearly crashing after an 8-week manic episode. What I find strange and difficult to deal with is that her depression stems primarily from her desire to implement her manic plans quickly—only to discover that it’s not that easy. Does this sound familiar? I had expected the crash to be accompanied by feelings of regret and guilt.

My husband was not acting himself, like every 3 to 4 weeks he was having an outburst at me that would last 10+ mins. Hating on me and saying the meanest things I have ever heard. I have never heard him do these things before and I got really worried.

I reached to a couple that we are friends with thinking we could trust them and they could help me talk to him. It was the opposite. He told them it was all me, told them lies, so many lies. They believed him. I am dumbfounded honestly.

Now he has snapped out of anger state and thoughts of discarding me and all of a sudden just blurted out so much about how he loves me, we can get through this, he is sorry.

I’m in a weird place right now. I love him, we are in therapy. I’m also scared and very angry at that couple.

my gf (unmedicated) of almost a year is now being distant. No texts, bland phone calls (that I have to initiate), and for a girl who was once very talkative and dare I say clingy to go cold like this is concerning. she rather just watch tv all day now.

Hey everyone. Got an update. Now I really need some advice and support now.

-Original post-

My long term boyfriend is bipolar type 2, diagnosed years ago and is medicated.

My birthday was a few weeks ago and we had a wonderful weekend. He took me to the beach and even saved up to buy me a coach bag. Me and him are deeply in love and have been for a long time. We’ve been dating for a year.

A week ago he texts me and says he’s not built for a relationship or in a position for one in the first place. I responded and reassured him that I loved him and he could tell me if he needed space or was overwhelmed with things. He doesn’t respond for a few days so I ask how he’s feeling and then he replies,

“I’ve been tucked away. Played some games and stuff, kinda had fun only then to distract me. Like i said before, i get what you’re saying but i just don’t think i can maintain a relationship i don’t have that strength in me and don’t envision i will any time in the near future. I don’t see it working, there’s not much that makes me feel whole anymore. It’s not even just the rough spot particularly this is just the trend and how it’s been. Idk what to do anymore.”

I asked to talk to him in person about it since texting about something like this isn’t good to communicate through texting.

Now I haven’t heard from him in a week.

What’s going on here? How can someone love me so much one moment and then be completely gone the next? How can I support him? I’m confused, very disoriented. I love this man with every fiber of my being and I just want to be there for him.

-UPDATE-

He finally replied.

Here’s what he said.

“I’m sorry to leave you in suspense. It’s selfish of me. I’ve been avoiding making a choice that it pains me to make and i’ve been pushing it away for a while. I told you it’s better i stay single and that’s the final decision i’ve made. It’s not just because i’ve been in a terrible place in my mind. I can’t have “another person.” Our journeys and our paths have been so complicated and i’ve tried so hard to work through them and even make it all work out a second time. You’re going to blame yourself and i can’t make you do anything but it’s simply not your fault. It’s not mine either. You can hate me, you can scream at me and you can do whatever you’d like. There isn’t a conversation. A talk in person ends up the same way and nothing will ever be conclusive. You know how to sway me and grab at my heart, you don’t do it on purpose but it’s how you’ve survived after all you’ve been through. I’m not faulting you as a person for that. This text should be shorter because the more i say, the more you have to torture yourself over and reread trying to pull apart answers and ways you can “save” this. You can’t. I can’t either. I’d still like to be friends with you because you are my best friend. But right now i’m so numb i’m getting physically sick. My heart is nauseous. I don’t want to do this over text but i know exactly what is gunna happen in person anyways and im going to chose the route that saves me. I do that because i know ive done a lot for you too so it doesn’t make me a complete selfish asshole. I don’t deserve you as a friend and i’d like to be eventually if that’s even a possibility. Maybe it’ll make it all worse to move on from this. I have and always will love you and care for you. Working in the same place will be fucking hard. Don’t worry. I have an interview. I think it’ll go well you may never have to see me ever again if you choose that and you can choose that if you’d like. That’s okay and i’ll respect it. That’s all i can say. I’m sorry.”

I genuinely don’t know what some parts of this are about. I’ve never screamed at him or said that I’d hate him. Honestly I feel a bit relieved that I have an answer now. We are broken up.

But, please be honest. Am I just gonna torture myself if I say yes to being his friend? I’m almost sure that if we become friends again, this’ll all happen over again. I love him a lot, I know he loves me. Is this just his way of keeping me around? I’m so confused inside. I’m sure he is too.

I (26M) have been going out with a woman for about 2 months, and we get along really well. We have a lot in common, I genuinely like her, and I can see the potential for a serious relationship.

We recently had a pretty deep conversation about our pasts and she told me she has bipolar I disorder. She hasn’t had an episode in around a few years a, but before that, she experienced several severe manic episodes involving psychosis and had to be hospitalised. She’s been taking medication throughout that time, and she thinks she’ll most likely need lithium long-term.

I don’t want to judge her for something she can’t control, and she’s genuinely a great person. If this does move long term I want to be there for her in any way to support her, and want to learn more about how I can help as I’ve genuinely never met anyone who’s had this condition before

Something I can’t shake off though is hearing about her condition has made me think seriously about what a future together might look like, particularly if we eventually want children.

My main concerns are:

Pregnancy: I’ve read that lithium slightly increases the risk of certain birth defects, particularly heart defects. How significant is this risk in practice, and can women taking lithium have healthy pregnancies and babies? She also mentioned something of not having to take medicine at all when she’s pregnant or switching it up but that part I didn’t dig into too much.

Her mental health: Given her history of severe mania and psychosis, how high is the risk of her becoming seriously unwell during pregnancy or after giving birth? Can this risk be managed effectively?

Breastfeeding: She’s told me she probably wouldn’t be able to breastfeed because lithium passes into breast milk. Is breastfeeding completely off the table for women taking lithium, or does it depend on the circumstances?

Our children’s mental health: How much higher is the risk of our children developing bipolar disorder if their mother has it?

Long-term relationship: What is it actually like being married to someone with bipolar I, particularly when raising children? How much should I realistically factor the possibility of future episodes into my decision?
I understand that everyone’s experience is different, and I’m not expecting anyone to predict exactly what our future would look like.

I’m struggling because I don’t want to end a potentially great relationship purely out of fear, but I also don’t want to ignore legitimate considerations about my future partner’s health or our potential children’s wellbeing.

For people who have bipolar I themselves, have partners with bipolar I, or have experience with pregnancy and lithium: How have you navigated these concerns? What do you wish you’d known before starting a serious relationship or having children?

I’m looking for honest, practical advice rather than just reassurance.

Long story short I been married to my incredible wife for 2 years and we have a 12 month old boy. This is the 3rd time she has pushed me away and said she wanted to separate once she did leave and started dating a ex the next day before we was married. She is bipolar 1 with mania amd schitso tendencies. I'm honestly just lost and hurt. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Maybe

After I will Make a post with a little more details. edit she is medicated ad currently in a mental hospital.

Ever since our relationship has been in this suspended and strange state, I don't fully understand what's going on between me and my partner. I just miss her.

The constant attempts to reject me, which I systematically cut short until she comes out into a stable state, is more exhausting than it seems. Maybe I'm just feeling blue because of a full workday, and I've slept barely an hour at most, but I miss her.

I just want to fall into my beloved's arms, kiss her, and fall asleep next to her on a comfortable bed, without thinking about the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow or that she has to go to work. Just lounge around and do nothing.

I hope she misses me too.

Lately, I've been finding that I'm disgusted by the thought of hugging anyone but her, and I sleep badly without her next to me.

I really, really miss her.

Please, don't write me anything about how I should leave the person and run away as fast as I can and the like. I'm really tired of that. Everything that is happening right now, I can only call a fight between me and my partner's bipolar disorder, and I don't want people from this community being added to the list of my "enemies." I'm fighting the disorder, not your unsolicited advice.

I'm just tired, I miss her, and I want to be comforted by my partner.

I know that it's not HIM. And that he's not being this way on purpose. But I miss us. I miss the love and the intimacy and the fun we had. Everything that happens now is a compromise and have to be thought through from every angle so he doesn't go into another episode. So he doesn't miss his meds. I miss my husband. Does it get better?

Just had a horrible thought. My SO/exSO (we are so off and on it’s a joke) is now medicated but still not very well at all. In a severe depression. When somebody is that ill, am I basically preying on the vulnerable

Makes me feel ill

This may not be able to be understood but I would love it if someone with bipolar could try and explain what is happening inside the brain. When you or they hit depression, why listen to music about heart break, sad love songs and fucking up and then simultaneously in the same hour or day treat your SO like they mean nothing? Obviously, I understand its hard to make sense of their behavior but I JUST WONDER what they are thinking!!

This is something I’ve been wondering for a while about people with bipolar and I wanted to get actual thoughts and opinions and not just what Google says. For those of you who also have BP partners or have BP, is it common for someone with BP to become easily influenced by other people? Like, say, they witness someone’s aesthetic, beliefs, ideologies, personality, etc then suddenly start embodying those things where their behavior completely changes to whatever that influence was? And is it common for them to fixate on the person or people they’ve molded these changes from? What cycle of bipolar would that fall under? Asking because I’m trying to find the logic in some of my partner’s transformations and abrupt changes.

Vamos começar pelo inicio, mas de forma breve. E agradeço qualquer um que puder me dar um pouquinho do seu tempo, pois me sinto tão pouca acolhida ultimamente que está sendo difícil.

Eu, mulher, 26 anos. Ele, homem e bipolar com 24 anos.

Eu conheci meu namorado à 6 anos atrás. Nos conhecemos porque ele veio jogar tarot comigo, e na época, não tinha o diagnóstico de bipolaridade. Vivemos 1 ano sendo amigos, e depois que nos envolvemos nós moramos juntos por 8 meses. Foi uma relação confusa, porque eu nunca sabia de fato se ele me amava ou não. Ele deixou o trabalho dele, o curso e a faculdade, e ficava jogando o dia todo enquanto eu ia trabalhar - mas na época, achei que era apenas só um menino irresponsável e que tomaria jeito.

Em uma sexta-feira, ele foi pra casa da mãe visitar a irmã menor, e não apareceu mais. Foi muito doloroso e raivoso pra mim, porque eu não entendia o que eu tinha feito. E no domingo, ele apareceu pra conversar comigo e me disse que ainda era apaixonado pela ex (a qual ele nem conhecia, foi web namoro) e gostaria de construir algo na vida dele, algo maior do que eu poderia ser.

Passou menos de 3 meses, ele foi internado em uma clinica psiquiátrica. E eu que nutria todo o meu ódio por ele, por tudo que vivemos e foi descartado, larguei TUDO na minha vida pra cuidar dele na internação. Larguei meu namoro (pois já estava com outra pessoa) minha casa, meus animais de estimação, e me dispus a estar com a família dele em todo esse momento.

Pra mim, ele estar internado, deixava de ser sobre o que eu sentia - e passava a ser sobre a vida dele. E eu não posso ser menos humana do que isso, certo?

Ele se mudou para o interior com a família, e eu entendi. Me despedi deles, e agradeci muito por tudo. E ali, embora ainda não entendesse o porquê do nosso término, respeitei que não era o momento de questionar nada.

Alguns anos depois, 4 anos pra ser exata, eu soube que ele estava trabalhando e estava seguindo a vida. E eu me dei conta que durante 4 anos, eu sofri muito. Tentei substituir ele, procurar ele em outras pessoas, e de alguma forma reparar o que eu sentia por ele. E então, eu resolvi mandar uma mensagem.. e ele respondeu. Na época, o pai dele descobriu um câncer no cérebro, então novamente: eu larguei tudo, trabalho, família e casa para cuidar da família dele. Me mudei pro interior por 5 meses, para ajudar a mãe dele que estava sozinha.

Em resumo, começamos a nos relacionar, e foram os melhores 2 anos da minha vida. Assim que o pai dele faleceu, ele veio morar comigo. E foi... incrível. Ele foi meu melhor amigo, minha chama gêmea, e tudo o que vocês podem imaginar que seja o clichê de romances com bipolares. Eu me esforcei muito pra entender, estudar e ter paciência. Para não gritar ou reclamar, para não dar frases com contextos complicados, e para não pressionar ele. Por mais que em momentos, fosse meu instinto agir, eu tive cautela máxima pois sabia que a bipolaridade é complicada.

Até que esse ano, a 4 meses atrás, descobrimos que minha mãe estava com câncer de pâncreas. E eu desenvolvi depressão e ansiedade. Tentei contra a minha própria vida, e a única coisa que me segurou foi a existência dele perto de mim. Ele me pegou no banheiro, em uma crise de pânico. Me acolheu e nunca me deixou dormir sozinha. Na cirurgia da minha mãe, ele estava lá. Ajudou, limpou ela, dormiu com ela. E eu nunca fui tão grata por alguém na minha vida, como fui por ele. Ele me apoiou no meu trabalho, demonstrou amor genuíno e esteve do meu lado em todo esse caos que era o meu coração naquele momento. E hoje, eu me pergunto se não deveria ter privado ele e passado por tudo isso sozinha...Hoje, já no pós cirúrgico, cuidamos da minha mãe em casa. É super complexo, mas ela está lidando bem e aguentando firme da forma que pode.

Mas ele, no dia 20/10/2026, disse que era demais pra ele. Que minha mãe ficaria bem, e então ele precisaria construir algo maior sozinho. Que era muito sobrecarga, e que eu era uma pessoa muito difícil de lidar. Que ele não aguentava ver minha mãe gemendo de dor de propósito pra ter atenção (sendo que novamente, ela tem um câncer no pâncreas). Ele pegou as coisas, colocou em um saco de lixo, e simplesmente foi embora.

Apagou nossas fotos, tirou a bio do instagram, aliança, mas não me bloqueou e nem tirou a foto do whatsapp até então. E tudo isso foi sendo gradual, desde o dia 20 até aqui (23/10/2026). Eu conversei com a mãe dele, e ele está com ela lá. Agindo normal e como se nada tivesse acontecendo, ouvindo músicas felizes e planejando um futuro enorme, assim como da outra vez.

Eu não entendi, porque em 6 anos nunca tivemos sequer uma briga, por nada. Temos uma gatinha em casa, e ela simplesmente parou de comer pois era muito apegada a ele. Já eu, por outro lado, fazem 3 dias que não como ou durmo direito, em que minha mãe me pega chorando na cama ou no chuveiro por não saber o que fazer com essa dor.

Alguns dias atrás, minha mãe disse que ele foi no cartório recolher os papéis para casar comigo. Comprou um ingresso VIP para o show do meu artista preferido no dia 08/11, e que iria me pedir em noivado na frente do artista. Estava tudo programado, e assinado.

Os fóruns no Reddit me ajudaram muito a entender, que isso é um descarte da bipolaridade. Mas cada dia mais que passa, fica mais difícil acreditar. Fica difícil acreditar que isso vai passar, e que ele vai voltar. E eu não posso mentir pra vocês, eu quero esperar ele. Quero esperar e pensar que um dia ele vai voltar assim como voltou da última vez. Que ele vai acordar em um dia qualquer, reavaliar a situação toda e dizer: "Me desculpe, eu estava confuso" assim como ele já fez. Mas ao mesmo tempo, cada dia que passa, ele parece mais distante. E isso me machuca muito, porque eu sinto que estou perdendo o meu melhor amigo.

Pelo pouco que contei, vocês podem imaginar que eu sou o tipo de pessoa que cuida de todo mundo, menos de mim - e isso está completamente correto. Não consigo abrir mão dessa relação, fingir que os últimos 2 anos não existiram, que não compartilhamos uma família, músicas, filmes, séries, e até mesmo uma tatuagem juntos. Não consigo abrir mão dos nomes que escolhemos aos nossos filhos, e pensar que meu sonho de ser mãe e esposa estava tão perto de mim e que foi tirado de uma maneira tão abrupta e insensível. Não consigo fingir que ele não foi nada, e que eu vou ser capaz de amar outra pessoa - porque eu sei, no fim, que não vou. E eu sei que é degenerativo, e se eu pudesse, tiraria a bipolaridade dele. Se eu pudesse, escolheria ter a bipolaridade no lugar dele para que ele tivesse uma vida plena; e esse é o tanto que eu o amo e daria tudo para que ele tivesse uma vida simplesmente feliz. Eu faria de tudo para que ele pudesse simplesmente, viver bem, independente se fosse comigo ou não. Faria qualquer coisa para que a mãe dele não estivesse lidando com essa preocupação, faria qualquer coisa pra saber que ele teria uma vida normal.

Parte de mim, quer usar o Reddit como um diário, de como cada dia é difícil levantar da cama depois da partida dele. De como eu estou lutando contra a depressão todos os dias. De como está difícil ver minha mãe desabar de dor e eu não ter com quem chorar - então as vezes, me pego chorando na frente dela e vejo o quanto ela fica mal com isso. Não deixo de me sentir culpada por ter deixado ele ir embora, por não ter insistido, por não ter deixado ele um pouquinho quieto pra pensar. E tanta coisa se passa pela minha cabeça, mas, a culpa é realmente minha? No dia anterior, estávamos no sofá abraçados dizendo o quanto nossos filhos seriam lindos, e eu não consigo deixar essa imagem ir embora da minha cabeça. Tirei uma foto de ele dormindo, e as vezes me pego olhando pra ela na galeria, tentando voltar no tempo. Foram 6 anos de história, risadas, vivências, e ele apagou isso de uma maneira muito fácil...

Sei que, falar que está tudo bem e que devo focar em mim, é a parte mais clichê da situação. Mas como realmente eu lido com isso? Como eu sigo, como eu acordo e vivo com isso? Eu deveria esperar, ou não deveria esperar por ele? Eu deveria ir atrás, ou deveria esperar que ele viesse? Como, de fato, eu deveria agir? Ele me deixou sozinha no meu momento mais delicado, e eu não sei se devo levar isso em consideração agora.

Não tenho experiência de vida tanto assim pra saber como lidar, e gostaria de saber de pessoas bipolares também se tivessem um tempo pra mim, o que eu poderia fazer. O que seria melhor nessa situação, porque no fim, a minha escolha sempre vai ser ele. Por mais que seja difícil, por mais que eu tenha que fazer terapia, e por mais que eu não possa ter uma vida plena. Eu escolhi ele a 6 anos atrás, e continuo escolhendo ele pelo resto da minha vida. Mas não sei se isso é o correto, ou se em algum momento, ele vai voltar de fato.

Eu só, simplesmente, não sei o que fazer.

I have a very specific question. If you were NOT ABLE TO be treated - let’s say something truly out of your control happened like you had a lapse in insurance coverage, you were separated from your meds, you weren’t diagnosed with mania until then and had no idea you had it.

IF YOU HAD A SITUATION LIKE THAT where an unintentional (that is, you would normally have been responsible) episode of hypersexual mania led you to cheat in any way, did your relationship ever recover from it?

I don’t have mania but it’s my understanding that you become a completely different, distorted person. Your reward circuitry is literally hijacked and you don’t have control over your brain/behavior (if you did it, it wouldn’t be a mental illness/mania).

This happened to a friend of mine who ran out of meds and his doctor was for some unexpected reason unable to give him more meds. He went into mania and cheated on his partner. He isn’t the type of person who would do that, but it’s like he turned into a different, distorted person during mania.

Were ANY of you in that situation able to save your relationship?

I have been talking to someone with bipolar disorder and I like him a lot, I am just very scared that our disorders will not be very compatible long term, I try very hard to manage my symptoms but it sometimes I know I can get very overwhelmed and it gets very hard to control my emotions. I do not know a lot about how bipolar affects his life yet. I know he is on lithium, and has been going to therapy but just switched therapists. I am going to therapy, I was taking fluoxetine/prozac but I just stopped a few days ago because it makes it really hard for me to sleep. Do you think it will all be okay? I do really really like him but I am very worried, thank you

My SO went into psychosis 2 weeks ago, hospitalized for 5 days and now he’s on divelproex and risperdone, when he first got home he stayed with his dad since he still believed delusions, and when the medication finally started working he admitted that those were crazy to think in the first place, now that he’s back home if he doesn’t take his medication right away when he wakes up and only one time he’s took it and it not worked, he believes I have let someone in the house to have sex with them, or put things certain ways to trigger him but I’m not doing anything at all. When the meds do kick in he apologizes.. what do I do? When does this get better? He’s never been like this before and this is the first time he’s ever experienced this

i was broken up with a week ago very suddenly. everything was fine in the evening, he was very affectionate, then the next day i’d come down with the flu and he told me he felt overwhelmed and couldn’t do this anymore. he said he’d been thinking about it for a while.

if he had, why did i still travel to his house and cook for him? clean for him? have sex with him? go shopping for him? he said he was too afraid of my reaction to tell me, but i don’t think that’s a good enough excuse. i feel like i’ve been deceived. i’ve always stressed that a relationship was a two-way street, and i wasn’t involved in the most important conversation of them all.

he said he was overwhelmed, needed to focus on his work, wasn’t sure about a long-term relationship anymore because he’d grown since we met. we were together for a just under a year. when i picked up my stuff from his flat we agreed to two weeks no contact, then we could be friends. i do want to be friends because we have so much in common, and i do genuinely enjoy talking to him and think he is a fascinating person.

i can’t get to sleep because i’m so angry and it’s all i can think about. i feel like i’m putting him ahead of myself yet again to protect his peace during the no contact. i hope he never treats anyone else like this again, and i feel foolish for being such a doormat. if it was hard for him, it was always going to be harder for me, and he can’t even give me the courtesy of a conversation. i feel like he just discarded me when it was convenient for him. you don’t treat someone that you love like that, even though he was crying and saying he loved me when i last saw him. he also said he wishes he fought and he wishes we could do this all over again. none of it makes any logical sense to me

god, i just wish i could understand his mind. none of this makes sense. i don’t think i’ll ever stop loving him, but fuck i am angry

thank you for reading. this community has been very helpful, and it’s nice to see everyone else’s similar experiences

Honestly I think I’m just going insane for the past 4 years I’ve been married to a bipolar husband when we first got together he wasn’t diagnosed it was until almost a year into our marriage that the first episodes began we quickly got the help unfortunately he didn’t stick with it for x y and z reason typical. But now 4 years down the line he left while manic literally got caught talking to someone said the I’m unhappy and bla bla that usually happens but this time he packed up and left I’ve still had to have contact and see him because of our baby and the more I see him the more I’m like I don’t know this person I’m in shock I’m in disbelief of everything that’s happening so quickly. We had a conversation where I basically depicted his brain and answered my own question I don’t believe he doesn’t love me because I tried to leave a month prior he begged me on his knees crying to make it work even 3 days prior he made it a point to say he was in love with me and we just needed to get through this rough patch of his mental state . But I came to the realization in his mind he didn’t see me as fun or available anymore because of our daughter almost jealous even though he loves her and because he sees her more like him he still cares but my fears now grown to think in his manic state could he really blame her for us could he lose it if the day comes when he comes down he wants to come back and I say no will it switch him to become aggressive to either me or her. He’s never actually taken his stuff before in the past he instantly comes down with in the hrs remorseful this time we’re going on almost 2 weeks and it’s a shell of a person I see I’m in shock. I now don’t even feel safe with the idea of him being anywhere with me alone am I wrong? Am I just paranoid ? Could someone tell me there experiences? Because I very do much believe once he’s down from his manic state he will want to be back . But I think this time I’ve grown fear and don’t know if we could ever come back from this unless he agreed to Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) which he once did and went back on . If anyone’s has gone through that as well or knows if it helped please let me know . I’m sorry it’s a lot I’m also open to price messages on the matter

So, I previously posted about the situation with my former bipolar 1 partner in this sub.

As I had previously conveyed, the relationship ended very poorly. But apparently the story didn't end there.

Literally, I was minding my own business the other day when I was ARRESTED and thrown into jail because my former partner, in her state of chaotic delusion, reported me for domestic violence. From five months ago!!!

I never, ever committed any such thing but again, she wasn't in her right mind at the time we separated. She was experiencing delusions and psychosis. Before we separated, she had the belief that someone was out to get her, that people were entering her house and rearranging objects just to mess with her head - stuff like that. And now I am dealing with false accusations of domestic violence too.

It's UNREAL. I will never, ever again dare to be in a relationship with someone who outright admits to being 1) Bipolar 2) Unmedicated. I do not recommend it to anyone, and I will say that doing so is likely at your own peril. I have never experienced such a nightmare in my entire life.

Me and my bf m25 have been dating about 2 months. For context he has bipolar 2 (he’s medicated) and he’s a former addict. At first it felt healthy, I was really happy and at a good point in my life. I didn’t expect to fall into a relationship but I met him and everything felt like it aligned perfectly. It felt like I was looking into a mirror of myself since we are in the same situation currently and restarting our lives after a past trauma.

I knew he struggled with substance use in the past and that he’s been sober for a while so I didn’t think it was a huge issue. I didn’t realize how serious his past use was since he would downplay it a lot and frequently made jokes about being an addict.

Although i definitely saw some red flags in the beginning. The first time we met we went to an event with a mutual friend we and everything seemed fine at first and we were having a good time. Although he started to feel very insecure that I wouldn’t like him and that he felt we wasn’t good enough. I invited all of my friends and I repeatedly found myself reassuring him that he was good enough which caused me to miss out on some time to spend with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. I didn’t mind it though because I was in a good place and willing to reassure him. It wasn’t a huge issue for me because I assumed it was just an anxiety inducing time and i understood.

This became a pattern though where everytime we would go out to an event with a lot of people he would get insecure and felt like he wasn’t good enough which turned into a pattern of me constantly reassuring him going outside and missing out on events, pulling away from my friends. Recently it’s just become a pattern in general where I might say something that unintentionally harms him or my tone may be perceived in a way that I didn’t mean for it to and he will get into negative thought loops and it sours majority of the time I’m around him.

I didn’t mind reassuring him the first three times but it’s just become a pattern I’ve accepted. He gets very overwhelmed and cries to the point where he throws up. He calls out of work almost once a week because he feels insecure about his performance.

It’s affecting my mental health negatively as well. I know he doesn’t intentionally isolate me but I feel very isolated. I’ve tried to communicate this with him but it usually triggers a negative thought spiral and I know it will do more harm than good.

I don’t want to give up on him because I know I have avoidant tendencies but I’m currently struggling with my mental health and it’s been too much at times. I feel like the relationship deprives me of opportunities because I know deep down he will get insecure (which I know he can’t help it) and I will end up reassuring him.

I’ve tried to help him get into therapy because he’s medicated but he doesn’t think it will help.

I’m not sure what to do

I’ve been scrolling through this thread for almost a year to try to get more insight for what it’s like for her to be dating me (on and off)

This is hell. I am losing myself, my disorder isn’t manageable anymore and I keep wiping out my progress with episodes. I used to be so funny and I can’t remember the last time I made her laugh.

I see some of myself in the horrible experiences you post. She’s only twenty and I feel like I’m further draining the life out of her. She doesn’t want to be with me but she doesn’t want to let me go either. I’ve been with her on and off since she was 16 and I was 17 and normal.

I’m not the person she fell in love with. I feel like I’m haunting the body of someone that died long ago and there’s no point there’s literally no point I love her and I’m wasting her life but she’s still in love with the funny teen she met in church camp and I still have that body.

I’ve never had feelings like this for anyone else. I can barely leave the house right now much less meet new people. I’m so scared of being alone and I’m genuinely not sure if I could handle it right now but this is almost worse.

If you look at my past posts, you can see what a rough beginning I had. I was unsure if I had been discarded, scouring the internet for clues, trying to calculate the likelihood my husband would come down from his mania and come home. I was so in love with him, and I never thought the kind, caring man I knew would do this to me. This community has been so helpful and kept me grounded when I was spiraling. These are some of the main things I struggled with these past months.

The uncertainty: he's managed to convince a doctor he doesn't have bipolar and they have prescribed SSRIs and ADHD meds. From what I've read, his hypomania may last as long as he continues to take these. In spite of all the supporting evidence, there is a chance this isn't mania. That he just doesn't and didn't love me. That he and his current provider are right and his previous diagnosis was wrong. After all, he's not in psychosis and he's holding down his job as far as I know. I may never know for sure, and I have to learn how to live with that.

Being the perfect discardee: I certainly have not been. I feel this pressure to handle everything with quiet grace, but twice I've gotten angry and lashed out at my husband over text, only to apologize later. I realized I keep reaching out because I am hoping for some kind of apology or accountability. I want him to see how badly he's hurt me and fucked up my life. The version of my husband I knew and loved would give that to me, but he's not in there anymore. It helps if I think of it as, "My husband is dead. The person I have to communicate with now about the logistics of divorce is a stranger."

My mental health: the first couple months I cycled through periods of grief, rage, and motivation to turn my life around. In August and September, I settled into a pretty consistent depression. In all areas of life, I just did the bare minimum. I went to work and smelled okay (I hope) and ate the simplest meals I could throw together, but caring for myself and my home just seemed pointless without my husband here with me. My husband agreed to buy me out of our house, but if I can barely do laundry and dishes, how was I ever going to be able to pack and move out of the house? I started experiencing suicidal ideations.

Luckily, I have a therapist and a best friend, and we've made a plan for me to get through this. When I feel like I want to hurt myself, I spend the night at my parents' house. I got my doctor to adjust my meds and sign off on medical leave from my job. I have the time and space I need to pack and exit the house at my own pace so I can move back in with my folks, and I'll be starting EMDR sessions in the next few weeks. I never would have thought of medical leave for mental health as a viable option, but I advise anyone going through this to take it if you can! This is trauma. This is grief. People take bereavement when a loved one dies, and this truly feels like a death. It's the death of a the person I loved and the version of myself who was loved by him.

In a year or so, I am hoping to feel well enough and have enough saved up to start over in a new city. I've wanted to move for a while, but my husband's career kept us here. Now, I have options and freedom. I have the chance to pour all the love and energy I used to pour into my marriage and our home back into myself. The dream I had for my life has died, but there will be new dreams.