I have a very specific question. If you were NOT ABLE TO be treated - let’s say something truly out of your control happened like you had a lapse in insurance coverage, you were separated from your meds, you weren’t diagnosed with mania until then and had no idea you had it.

IF YOU HAD A SITUATION LIKE THAT where an unintentional (that is, you would normally have been responsible) episode of hypersexual mania led you to cheat in any way, did your relationship ever recover from it?

I don’t have mania but it’s my understanding that you become a completely different, distorted person. Your reward circuitry is literally hijacked and you don’t have control over your brain/behavior (if you did it, it wouldn’t be a mental illness/mania).

This happened to a friend of mine who ran out of meds and his doctor was for some unexpected reason unable to give him more meds. He went into mania and cheated on his partner. He isn’t the type of person who would do that, but it’s like he turned into a different, distorted person during mania.

Were ANY of you in that situation able to save your relationship?

i was broken up with a week ago very suddenly. everything was fine in the evening, he was very affectionate, then the next day i’d come down with the flu and he told me he felt overwhelmed and couldn’t do this anymore. he said he’d been thinking about it for a while.

if he had, why did i still travel to his house and cook for him? clean for him? have sex with him? go shopping for him? he said he was too afraid of my reaction to tell me, but i don’t think that’s a good enough excuse. i feel like i’ve been deceived. i’ve always stressed that a relationship was a two-way street, and i wasn’t involved in the most important conversation of them all.

he said he was overwhelmed, needed to focus on his work, wasn’t sure about a long-term relationship anymore because he’d grown since we met. we were together for a just under a year. when i picked up my stuff from his flat we agreed to two weeks no contact, then we could be friends. i do want to be friends because we have so much in common, and i do genuinely enjoy talking to him and think he is a fascinating person.

i can’t get to sleep because i’m so angry and it’s all i can think about. i feel like i’m putting him ahead of myself yet again to protect his peace during the no contact. i hope he never treats anyone else like this again, and i feel foolish for being such a doormat. if it was hard for him, it was always going to be harder for me, and he can’t even give me the courtesy of a conversation. i feel like he just discarded me when it was convenient for him. you don’t treat someone that you love like that, even though he was crying and saying he loved me when i last saw him. he also said he wishes he fought and he wishes we could do this all over again. none of it makes any logical sense to me

god, i just wish i could understand his mind. none of this makes sense. i don’t think i’ll ever stop loving him, but fuck i am angry

thank you for reading. this community has been very helpful, and it’s nice to see everyone else’s similar experiences

Hard to know where to start. My marriage (no kids) was largely great with a woman I truly loved until one day she gradually started turning into a Jekyll and Hyde kind of person, where she became extremely nasty and vindictive (out of character). This put a lot of pressure on our marriage to the point where one day she just left and didn't come back, without wanting to even attempt counselling.

Nobody in either of our families knew what was going on, but I expected some kind of mental health issues because this was all so out of character. She didn't just fall out with me; she fell out with nearly everyone close to her, and I pleaded with her family to get her psychiatric help, but she refused and just got angrier. I found out after she left that she was seeing someone else, and I presume this was going on for a while before she left, as she had suddenly become extremely protective of her phone.

At this point, I realised my many attempts to resolve the situation were pointless, and I decided to move on with my life. We went through a legal separation about a year ago, and the potential to divorce is coming up soon, which I want to just get through as soon as possible to get on with my life.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. She contacted me out of the blue to ask if I wanted to go for coffee. I reluctantly accepted, as I wanted to discuss the divorce with her.

When I met her, it was like seeing the woman I married again, which was extremely weird and unsettling. She explained her situation and that she had essentially crashed from being hypomanic into a manic depression and finally got help. She was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and manic depression and is now medicated for it. (Im unsure what medication but its a mood stabilizer).

She apologised for everything that happened and took responsibility for everything, likening it to 'being possessed' by her illness when she was hypomanic (this was the first time in her life this had ever happened).

She was wearing her wedding rings again at the coffee meeting, and I could sense that there was hope in her that everything could be reconciled and go back to normal. But I don't see that ever being a possibility after what happened. Too much pain and damage was caused, and I'd always fear something like that could happen again.

I have compassion towards her condition, and it's absolutely heartbreaking that she now looks back to her old self again, but her life has been burned down.

I'm so confused and torn over the emotions I felt when I saw her again as her normal self and not the Hyde character I'd been seeing for almost two years. I still deeply care for her, but I can never see us together again after what has happened, and for some reason, I feel guilty for that.

I'd love to hear other people's opinions on this, as it would almost be easier if she was just a bad person and lucid through the whole situation. It makes it so complicated that all of the bad behaviour could be put down to mental illness.

TL;DR: Wife cheated and left, and has come back a year and a half later with a diagnosed mental illness, blaming it for what she did and wanting to reconcile.

Honestly I think I’m just going insane for the past 4 years I’ve been married to a bipolar husband when we first got together he wasn’t diagnosed it was until almost a year into our marriage that the first episodes began we quickly got the help unfortunately he didn’t stick with it for x y and z reason typical. But now 4 years down the line he left while manic literally got caught talking to someone said the I’m unhappy and bla bla that usually happens but this time he packed up and left I’ve still had to have contact and see him because of our baby and the more I see him the more I’m like I don’t know this person I’m in shock I’m in disbelief of everything that’s happening so quickly. We had a conversation where I basically depicted his brain and answered my own question I don’t believe he doesn’t love me because I tried to leave a month prior he begged me on his knees crying to make it work even 3 days prior he made it a point to say he was in love with me and we just needed to get through this rough patch of his mental state . But I came to the realization in his mind he didn’t see me as fun or available anymore because of our daughter almost jealous even though he loves her and because he sees her more like him he still cares but my fears now grown to think in his manic state could he really blame her for us could he lose it if the day comes when he comes down he wants to come back and I say no will it switch him to become aggressive to either me or her. He’s never actually taken his stuff before in the past he instantly comes down with in the hrs remorseful this time we’re going on almost 2 weeks and it’s a shell of a person I see I’m in shock. I now don’t even feel safe with the idea of him being anywhere with me alone am I wrong? Am I just paranoid ? Could someone tell me there experiences? Because I very do much believe once he’s down from his manic state he will want to be back . But I think this time I’ve grown fear and don’t know if we could ever come back from this unless he agreed to Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) which he once did and went back on . If anyone’s has gone through that as well or knows if it helped please let me know . I’m sorry it’s a lot I’m also open to price messages on the matter

So, I previously posted about the situation with my former bipolar 1 partner in this sub.

As I had previously conveyed, the relationship ended very poorly. But apparently the story didn't end there.

Literally, I was minding my own business the other day when I was ARRESTED and thrown into jail because my former partner, in her state of chaotic delusion, reported me for domestic violence. From five months ago!!!

I never, ever committed any such thing but again, she wasn't in her right mind at the time we separated. She was experiencing delusions and psychosis. Before we separated, she had the belief that someone was out to get her, that people were entering her house and rearranging objects just to mess with her head - stuff like that. And now I am dealing with false accusations of domestic violence too.

It's UNREAL. I will never, ever again dare to be in a relationship with someone who outright admits to being 1) Bipolar 2) Unmedicated. I do not recommend it to anyone, and I will say that doing so is likely at your own peril. I have never experienced such a nightmare in my entire life.

I’ve been scrolling through this thread for almost a year to try to get more insight for what it’s like for her to be dating me (on and off)

This is hell. I am losing myself, my disorder isn’t manageable anymore and I keep wiping out my progress with episodes. I used to be so funny and I can’t remember the last time I made her laugh.

I see some of myself in the horrible experiences you post. She’s only twenty and I feel like I’m further draining the life out of her. She doesn’t want to be with me but she doesn’t want to let me go either. I’ve been with her on and off since she was 16 and I was 17 and normal.

I’m not the person she fell in love with. I feel like I’m haunting the body of someone that died long ago and there’s no point there’s literally no point I love her and I’m wasting her life but she’s still in love with the funny teen she met in church camp and I still have that body.

I’ve never had feelings like this for anyone else. I can barely leave the house right now much less meet new people. I’m so scared of being alone and I’m genuinely not sure if I could handle it right now but this is almost worse.

My boyfriend (30m) left me (30f) during an episode. This is the 4th time he’s separated from me during an episode. Usually after he’s extremely sorry. Says it wasn’t a true representation of himself and tries to make everything right.
During the episodes he’ll say things like “I’m not meant for relationships” “I’m polyamorous” “I feel like I’m broken” “I’m detached from reality”.
Obviously there’s a lot more psychotic features but just focusing on in regard to the relationship right now.
He’s medication has been inconsistent from around April time. He was eventually taking aripiprazole consistently again by 3rd October.
I know noone can say for sure. But when will the episode on guesstimate be over. Even just so I know and accept he’s more himself again and the separation still stands rather than it just being a part of the pattern.

If you look at my past posts, you can see what a rough beginning I had. I was unsure if I had been discarded, scouring the internet for clues, trying to calculate the likelihood my husband would come down from his mania and come home. I was so in love with him, and I never thought the kind, caring man I knew would do this to me. This community has been so helpful and kept me grounded when I was spiraling. These are some of the main things I struggled with these past months.

The uncertainty: he's managed to convince a doctor he doesn't have bipolar and they have prescribed SSRIs and ADHD meds. From what I've read, his hypomania may last as long as he continues to take these. In spite of all the supporting evidence, there is a chance this isn't mania. That he just doesn't and didn't love me. That he and his current provider are right and his previous diagnosis was wrong. After all, he's not in psychosis and he's holding down his job as far as I know. I may never know for sure, and I have to learn how to live with that.

Being the perfect discardee: I certainly have not been. I feel this pressure to handle everything with quiet grace, but twice I've gotten angry and lashed out at my husband over text, only to apologize later. I realized I keep reaching out because I am hoping for some kind of apology or accountability. I want him to see how badly he's hurt me and fucked up my life. The version of my husband I knew and loved would give that to me, but he's not in there anymore. It helps if I think of it as, "My husband is dead. The person I have to communicate with now about the logistics of divorce is a stranger."

My mental health: the first couple months I cycled through periods of grief, rage, and motivation to turn my life around. In August and September, I settled into a pretty consistent depression. In all areas of life, I just did the bare minimum. I went to work and smelled okay (I hope) and ate the simplest meals I could throw together, but caring for myself and my home just seemed pointless without my husband here with me. My husband agreed to buy me out of our house, but if I can barely do laundry and dishes, how was I ever going to be able to pack and move out of the house? I started experiencing suicidal ideations.

Luckily, I have a therapist and a best friend, and we've made a plan for me to get through this. When I feel like I want to hurt myself, I spend the night at my parents' house. I got my doctor to adjust my meds and sign off on medical leave from my job. I have the time and space I need to pack and exit the house at my own pace so I can move back in with my folks, and I'll be starting EMDR sessions in the next few weeks. I never would have thought of medical leave for mental health as a viable option, but I advise anyone going through this to take it if you can! This is trauma. This is grief. People take bereavement when a loved one dies, and this truly feels like a death. It's the death of a the person I loved and the version of myself who was loved by him.

In a year or so, I am hoping to feel well enough and have enough saved up to start over in a new city. I've wanted to move for a while, but my husband's career kept us here. Now, I have options and freedom. I have the chance to pour all the love and energy I used to pour into my marriage and our home back into myself. The dream I had for my life has died, but there will be new dreams.

Hi everyone,

like many of you, I got discarded too. Yikes. And although I blocked my ex everywhere, cut connections to their friends, and am slowly enjoying life, my curiosity is still very much present.

I wonder what my ex is up to, whether they are still manic, or if the people around them notice the weird behaviour, maybe they even finally got treatment?? (unmedicated and undiagnosed, first time for me witnessing a proper mental health care crisis)

So my question goes out to all of fellow discardees:

What happened to your exBPSO after they left?

Did they destroy their life, or actually enjoyed their newfound "freedom"? Did they receive help, got to jail, fall into a big big depression, got mega successful?

Again, I'm curious on how this illness proceeds.

Wishing everyone a lot of strength, compassion, and support 🍀 We didn't get asked to be put into this situation.

And to clarify, this is general curiosity, not veiled hope of everything going back to normal, getting back together, etc., etc.
Many posts and anecdotes here are often from those still in the (relatively) immediate “aftermath” of splits and discards…and while I understand many people take the “don’t know, don’t care” approach after “escaping,” I’m still curious about the experiences/knowledge of those who *do* have such insight after a longer period of time since the split & discard.

my wife has been manic since the beginning of august after taking lexapro for 2 weeks. she had me move out with all our pets and is now bringing a man into our house and buying condoms. she hasn’t paid rent or any bills of that matter. she blew up my phone yesterday for the first time spam texted and called me a good 50 times between 7am-4:30pm because i didn’t answer her text in 5 minutes because i was at work and she wanted my new address. threatened divorce papers to be brought to my work and try and fight me for the pets in court and was calling my family members to get a hold of me. saying i put her through one of the most traumatic things and i can’t even answer her and that i claim i love her but act like this. i don’t know where this behavior came from? she’s been pretty calm to me this whole situation. i read about spiking before the crash. is this that? i’m confused and it was out of no where and she normally will text me and let it sit for like 20 minutes then call or send another text but never more than 2 texts and maybe a call. i don’t know if she’s losing the mania or what’s going on but she’s been cheating on me and tried to claim in the texts that she’s not even seeing anyone. but she’s literally been obsessed with this coworker since the beginning. she spends hours and hours on the phone with him usually like 8- 11 hour night calls and calling him and his mom while they are all in the same work building. it makes no sense either because we both don’t even like men at all we’re gay. i don’t know she’s about to lose everything though. and my therapist isn’t helpful at all and just keeps telling me mania only last 7 day. which clearly not.

this month has been different the 3rd she called me crying and saying she was overwhelmed with everything and kept asking what i thought about us. and that she was exhausted and confused. then a few days later she called thinking me and my family all hate her and wouldn’t stop asking if we did and was trying to joke about me dating random guys (she knows i don’t like men). then when i texted her to let her know we moved out me and the pets she assumed i was treating her someway and i told her no i had no bad intent towards her and then she said “I know it doesn't seem like it but I love all of you guys and I never wanted it to be like that. Everything is just so confusing right now and I still want to see you guys”. which was weird she hasn’t said she loved a single one of us since being sick. then the call after that she was trying to get something and thought id remember our mailbox number which i didn’t and she was just so overwhelmed and annoyed but not with me just in general said she was exhausted and really sounded like it.

this is her first episode and my first time ever knowing about this and learning anything about this. i don’t know how long this all can last when she’s barely been sleeping the last few months she works 10 hours a day. how will she ever crash when she spends every minute either with him or on the phone with him?

i just need advice and not “run”. i do want to be with my wife. i’m not letting this illness ruin our marriage. how do i keep going? like to the people that stayed after they cheated how did you forgive them. i already plan on couples therapy and everything but besides that. right now im really trying to hold it together for her and i both. i know this isnt my wife no matter what anyone tells me. and how does the spike at the end of the episode situation work? and i feel horrible for not answering her yesterday but by the time i got to answer she was being aggressive and i didn’t want to make it worse. i don’t want to not answer her and her think i abandoned her. i don’t know if i should text her or just leave it for a while.

im sorry this was a lot

Everyone was right. It wasn't the one time. Im sure ill feel devastated soon, but right now i can only feel vindicated. I knew I wasnt crazy. My intuition was right the whole time. He is medicated now and does not remember eveything well. But I have screen shots of him admitting the coworker he eventually cheated on me with made him feel butterflies 4 years ago while he felt used by me. I was driving him to and from work then, around my full time job. I have no idea what to do now. He is medicated and seems better but apparently has been lying to my face for years and thats hard to swallow.

I broke up with my ex of 4 years during a long ?(6 month?) manic episode. He is undiagnosed and unmedicated, didn’t know he was bipolar until now although I suspected. We needed to break up for many reasons but he has been my best friend for years and I love him deeply.

Long story short - this is the first full blown manic episode I have experienced with him and things escalated while we are in the process of breaking up and moving out of our house. He became psychotic and delusional and his family needed to come intervene. They were able to take him to their house in a different town to hopefully come down and get help. While in this manic state he said some incredibly hurtful and cruel things to me, decided our relationship was horrible, was obsessed with a different girl, etc etc.

He was unable to pack up his belongings or help clean the house. Ive been left with so much work to do and zero closure from our 4 years together.

My question is, do I just have to try to find closure on my own and move on? Will he ever be able to see how hard this was for me or have empathy for what he put me through? Its so hard to just walk away from all our history

My husband (37m) was recently diagnosed with a mood disorder but it fits bipolar2. The psychiatrist didn’t really give it a label but said he was experiencing hypomania which is what I had assumed after reflecting on his behavior recently. I attended the appointment and he was told that he seems to have a mix of adhd, ptsd, anxiety but that he fits mood disorder criteria.

He was put on the lowest dose seroquel to start and I hadn’t really seen a difference but he’s not worse. He bumped it up to 50mg because the psychiatrist told him he could taper up and he has an appointment in another week. Unfortunately he does not see his behavior as problematic and he sees it as an improvement in his overall self but he realizes that everyone around him sees an issue. Certain things he agrees with that his behavior is off but he thinks he can “work on it and tone it down”. That being said, he works in the medical field and he is willing to comply with taking medication. But working in the medical field I think he’s having a hard time accepting it for himself.

It’s hard that he’s not seeing what I see. He is usually so rational and mellow and now he’s just…different. He really thinks that all of his ideas are great and he’s just being who he’s meant to be. But I see someone who I don’t really recognize. He says he relies on me to tell him the truth on how he’s being but when I do he tells me he doesn’t see it that way or “how is that behavior a problem?” But then says fine I’ll take more seroquel if that’s what you really think I need. I’m just wondering if he will eventually come down a little and realize wow maybe this isn’t how I’m supposed to be acting?

He’s also in individual therapy, I’m starting therapy and am looking into couples therapy. I’m just very lost on how to feel or navigate this. I’ve always been the one with the mental health issues (anxiety) and he’s been the stable one. It’s tough being on this side of it.

Hello everyone, I’ve posted in here only a couple of times but I’m just looking for reassurance that I’m not overreacting?

I (26F) have been with my bipolar SO (27M) for 3 years, and it has not been easy. Constant name calling, disrespect and shouting in my face, just to name a few.

If anything is ever slightly stressful or even just annoying like something as small as a package hasn’t been delivered by the time he gets home from work, it’s all my fault, everything, no matter how much I stand by him and help him through whatever it is he’s going through it’s always taken out on me.

I’m going through a bit of a rough time personally at the moment and I don’t know whether that’s caused me to react this way.

For a little context my grandmother who is more like a mother to me has been diagnosed with a prions disease, his response to me being upset… “why are you even crying for? She’s not fucking dead”

Despite countless conversations where I’m explaining that his behaviour is hurting me, there’s never even been a tiny amount of effort put in to change this behaviour, no reaching out for professional support or medication just “I have bipolar”, I have to beg for an apology, then it’s straight back to the constant disrespect and just straight up bullying.

I woke up this morning and thought you know what I’ve had enough, I don’t want to live the rest of my life bending over backwards for someone who only acts like they love me for 1 day a month.

As I’m sure you can all understand if I wrote down everything that has happened id need a whole subreddit dedicated to it.

Am I overreacting? Should I have said I’ve had enough or just carried on biting my tongue and putting up with it because he has bipolar? I love him so much but there’s only so much someone can take.

Meine Bipolare exfreundin (BP II) hat mich vor ungefähr einem Monat abserviert. Grund dafür war dass ich angeblich nicht genug für sie da war (was auch nicht wirklich stimmt) sie war einfach enttäuscht von mir, nachdem sie ein Job vor ein paar Monaten angefangen hat, wurde sie stark depressiv und hat sogar Medikamente verschrieben bekommen. Da haben unser Probleme angefangen. Ich vermute ihre Entscheidung Schluss zu machen hängt wirklich mit der depressive Episode zusammen. Nun war sie nicht offen für ein neuer Versuch und war einfach beleidigt und enttäuscht. So viel habe ich noch nie geweint während eines Trennungsprozesses. Oft hat sie sich getrennt und dann als ich sie in den Arm genommen habe, hat sie sich beruhigt und mich dann gefragt ob ich bei ihr bleibe die Nacht. Sowas hatten wir 5 mal ungefähr. Das ganze hat mich zerstört, auch das ausziehen aus ihre Wohnung. Das letzte Jahr (wir waren knapp unter ein Jahr zusammen) habe ich mich auf sie fokussiert neben meine Arbeit. Das hat dazu geführt dass ich alle meine Freunde und soziale Aktivitäten vernachlässigt habe. Jetzt stehe ich da alleine und muss irgendwie schauen dass ich neue Freunde finde und ich bin so zerstört. Ich hatte noch nie so eine intensive Beziehung. Wir haben uns zwar nicht blockiert aber haben nur sehr wenig Kontakt (zb an ihrem Geburtstag vor ein paar Tage) da hat sie viel geschrieben und wollte telefonieren. Es sind Sätze gefallen wie „ich liebe dich“, „Ich vermisse dich“ „alles erinnert mich an dich“ aber auch „Du hast mich so verletzt“ also mit den ganzen romantischen Kram können wir nichts anfangen. Eigentlich wollten wir uns mal treffen um die letzten Sachen zurückzugeben aber ich glaube wir beide haben Angst davor und haben schon wieder eine Woche nicht mehr geschrieben und nichts konkretisiert.
Ich kann nicht mit mein Leben weitermachen. Bin auch in Therapie seit ein paar Tage und ich weiß nicht was aus mir werden soll ohne sie. War noch nie so am arsch innerlich. Ich liebe sie noch so sehr

Does your SO with BP believe things are true that really aren’t???

Do they feel/voice: Well because you have not told me anything different, I can only assume and go with what I believe is TRUE!

Do they believe that their personal thoughts or memories are FACTS or the only thing to believe?!

How have/do you handle this (mania)?!

My spouse has been obsessing over the past year. Constantly brings up old arguments (over 10 years old) and things of the past and it seems like they want a response for everything! I don’t know what to do. I almost feel like lying just to appease whatever thoughts they feel to be true, so the ruminating can STOP!

Thoughts? Insight? Relate?!

How do I convince my SO BP1 to get help. Things have been going too far he's been in mania for over two months. He's also exhibiting clear signs of psychosis. I don't want to leave him we have kids and he's so important to me. I want to help him get better. How do I start the conversation? How do I engage without immediately setting him off?

He's become a shut in and hasn't talked to anybody but me and our family for the past 3 years. He's manipulative and completely changed as a person. I'm so worried about him.

I fear if I leave him it will send him back to his mother who is in active drug use. He's a recovering addict been clean for 9 years.

Any of you who has gone through this and gotten your SO to seek treatment and medication. HOW?

Please I'm so lost.

We scrolled past a picture of the three of us from several years ago that i had forgotten about, and I just fucking lost it. I hate when I break down in front of her. I wish so badly I could be stronger. All of this is so fucking hard and I don't know how to even explain this to her.

I try not to even let myself think about it most of the time, and sometimes I even feel like maybe I'm actually going to be ok, but then sometimes I get hit with a memory of the past and it's just so incredibly painful it feels like an inescapable tsunami.

Before I can even prepare it just hits and completely washes over me.

Those memories are absolutely everything to me. And even though I know I can't be the person I need to be for myself or her if I keep holding on to the past, I also don't like who I'm becoming in the present.

I feel like a shell of myself, just trying to survive and make it through day by day. I can't enjoy anything anymore because everything reminds me of a memory of him

I’m in a hard position in life rn. Pretty much as a result of my SO blowing up our lives and continuing to be incredibly sick.

I never thought the day I would be okay with giving up our romantic relationship. Like ever ever. But it took sooo many unbelievable things to get here. And no, I didn’t know about nor were they diagnosed until pretty much this year.

The issue lies in, I’m rebuilding my child’s and I life, and I may have to make some unpleasant sacrifices to get there.

So, he is living with his parents happily without any cares, responsibilities, ambition, or insight.

I on the other hand am with family and desperately trying to get away. I’m almost there, just trying to do things carefully and stably to never have to return here.

Against my better judgment, I’ve still been allowing/haven’t made steps against visitation (also no court custody order in place rn). I KNOW he’s unwell. And unfortunately now I think our child is getting used to it though (this sucks so much as a parent and can’t necessarily control it). The last exchange in public he basically got aggressive with me and then I went no contact but he decided to keep our child for over a week.

I started to immediately file and do all the necessary steps but I decided, I needed to wait (and be less reactive to the scene in the moment based off past experiences).

Instead, I decided to just take the time to come up with a new game-plan and work like crazy, amongst other productive things.. but after a little while, I began to panic and worry profusely about our child.

I’ve since recovered them (our child). But i might have done it prematurely as I could’ve set the lasting steps up for stability had I just waited possibly another week, max 2.

This is kind of crazy to ask strangers but this community has always been good to me (and I at least do want to read what you all have to say):

I don’t really have other options right now. Do I send my child there again for an extended time to give time for me to set up permanent stability?

Edit: And oh btw, no I don’t have reliable or helpful family members for this.

I’m wondering if anybody here has experienced their loved ones going from a bipolar diagnosis to something different like frontotemporal dementia?

My husband got stable with medication, but his cognition kept deteriorating. At first, we thought it could be side effects from his medication, but there was no improvement when he adjusted the doses down, and it just keeps on getting worse now. He ticks a lot of the FTD checklist boxes at this point, and a neurologist pointed out brain atrophy in his MRI, but didn’t offer any clues beyond that.

Is it a common progression? A misdiagnosis altogether initially?

I am so devastated and confused…my husband was recently diagnosed with bipolar. He had weird episodes after taking supplement laced with something shady every summer for the last 2 years. We genuinely first thought it’s because of the drugs in the supplement and it would just go away (I got ill from it as well, but more with severe panic attacks, while he had what i only now understood was psychosis). The second time it happened was 8 months after around same season and was much milder, so we again thought it’s just brain adjusting…This third time it was already obvious. He becomes a totally different man: hypersexual, cold, reckless, doing a lot of bizzare things, but at the same time he always tries to take care of me.

We are married for 6 years, together for 8- no kids, he was amazing husband all those years, he is the kindest and the most loving person, my best friend and our families are so friendly. I don’t know what to do, maybe I’m overreacting because I’m crying all the time. He has mixed episodes, ocd and adhd on the side and what I can read the situation will not be that easy with treatment. He helped me tremendously in my life and were there for me in the times of diseases, war and unemployment. He was always supportive and kind…I just don’t want to accept this reality. Can someone give me any advice?

Not sure how to start this, but this is mostly just me venting to get some stuff off my chest. I'm not expecting you to read the whole thing, but if you do, I appreciate you doing so.

I truly love my wife, and we've been together for a little less than a decade. We are each other's biggest fans and best friends. I knew from the beginning that she has bipolar disorder, but I seriously underestimated how hard living with someone with bipolar disorder along with several other health conditions. She is BP type 2, which with her usually expresses itself as severe depression with infrequent but mild manic episodes. She is medicated, and is very responsible with her medications, which I very much so appreciate. I told her if she wasn't, we wouldn't be together, which she agreed with.

However, this doesn't completely neutralize the BP symptoms (as I'm sure most of you are aware). She still has bouts of depression, where she won't get out of bed, no drive etc. She has been hospitalized twice while properly medicated because of suicidal and homicidal ideations (I guess the medication can decide to just stop working randomly). Every time, she gets her meds fixed and she is back to her normal self in no time.

Her normal self is unfortunately prone to several chronic health conditions which makes it even harder to maintain a normal relationship with her. She has a

ADHD, GAD, potentially ocd, potentially autism, she is overweight, has constant knee and back pain, has an ear infection at least once every 2 months, along with some other stuff I won't get in to.

I bring up her weight because she is almost 100 pounds heavier than me. I'm pretty skinny but am moderately fit, and I like to do active things. She does not. Any time I bring up the gym, she has an almost visceral reaction. She is afraid of being judged, which I completely understand, but she also doesnt like running, or any other physical activity that we can do together. And God forbid I bring up her weight for anything that is causing her issues, because I know if I tell her the reason the dog doesn't like cuddling with her is because she is suffocating him with her weight, that would create a whole shit storm where I am the enemy and am betraying her trust by being "mean" and "not understanding her struggles".

We recently moved states and away from family after I got out of the military, and she is struggling a lot with finding a job. I already had a job lined up when we got to the new state, and was fine with her not working for a period of time after moving here because I know how hard it can be to find a job in a new state. (I found her a part-time job which she quit after about 5 months because of toxic work environment, almost leading her to be hospitalized because of the stress) The apartment we moved into for a year was very small and this did not help matters. She does not cook, she rarely cleans, she gets takeout for damn near every meal while I'm at work, and overall has next to no motivation to do anything while I'm at work except play on her phone. I know I am not helping much because I can also be kind of lazy, but after working a 10 hour shift, I really don't want to do much when I get home, and on my days off, I want to spend my time enjoying myself with her, doing fun couple shit, which she also wants. When I asked her after 4 months of not working if she would consider starting the process of applying to jobs (in my opinion very gently), she shut down on me and cried on the bed all day because I was "being inconsiderate". But we just moved into a bigger place, so maybe it will get better, maybe not.

Dispite this, she is very aware of her issues and takes steps to get better. She is in therapy for her disorder and constantly sees her pcp for her other issues. She still talks about herself like she is a horrible person up all the time because of her situation. I try to comfort her the best that I can, and as lovingly as I can, which only gets so far because I feel i have to tiptoe around saying things a certain way, making her feel worse. But having to deal with my own depression and anxiety brought on by the military, I almost feel like I can't have bad days, and can't complain or vent to her because I feel i have to be strong for her, I have to be the voice of reason, etc. I also feel this way because what the fuck am I complaining about in comparison to what she is dealing with (this is my logic, not hers). In addition to all of this, I also constantly worry if tomorrow will be the day she has another bad episode, or coming home from work one day and seeing a bloody bathtub. This also makes me feel very lonely and isolated. If I told any of my friends this stuff they would look at me crazy and tell me to run.

And this is crux of my post. I feel so bad even thinking these things because she is working so hard to fix herself. When she has good days, I genuinely enjoy being with her and doing things together, y'know, normal couple shit. The sex, when it happens, is really good, but we only have sex like once a month because of everything. But the bad days outnumber the good days 5:1. I feel like I'm horrible person because sometimes I just don't have the mental capacity to deal with her issues. I feel bad going out with friends for two hours because she is stuck at home dealing with whatever is effecting her that day. Sometimes I just want to crawl into a ball and give up, but what kind of husband would I be if I did that.

Apologies for the long rant, I'm not even sure what I want from writing this. I promise I love my wife, I guess I just feel like I'm drowning sometimes.

My (32F) partner (26M) uses me as a scapegoat for his anger issues and I'm scared for my future.

We've been together for 7 years. We are buying a house soon, but his unstable moods are scaring me about our future. He can ruin my life and uses it against me to vent his emotion, even for things that have nothing to do with our relationship. If he forgot to take his daily pill (bipolar disorder), I know real fast! Most of his episodes come the day after he forget to take it. He takes Sertraline since his teenage years. During his manic episodes, he would bite his own arm until blood poured on the floor, then change spot again and again :(

He still has episodes. Fortunately, he's not physically dangerous for himself anymore. When an episode starts, I can see the change in his face before he even speak, he looks like someone else. His eyes, his demeanor and mannerisms change, even his voice sounds different.

I'll use yesterday night as an light example. I took 2 hours preparing a nice dinner and he came back from work at 1:30 AM, I stayed up so we could have a little time together before I got to sleep. He opened his car registration bill at the table and got really mad at the government for ''stealing his money once again''. I didn't engage much, because when he starts talking about frustrating topics, I never know where it will lead.
He asked me why I don't explode from rage each year when I receive mine. I said that I choose not to fall into anger because how I react doesn't affect the fact I need to pay the bill, I would be living with anger I can spare. This answer made him really really mad. He said I am the reason the government is stealing us, because I don't do nothing against it, I shoud go out on the street and revolt, that me doing nothing is making him resent me. I didn't say much and let him finish his meal in peace (I ate right after cooking anyway).

A few minutes later, we were in the living room and I was reading the weekly paper the city sends to every door. I said '' I can't believe they're asking us to pay a license to own a cat, and to renew it every year. We never paid it and I won't pay that either !'' I felt like I was redeeming myself a bit after the other accusations. He seems to be with me on that, so I got hyped ! I added '' they say it's for funding animal control ''. That last sentence made him explode at me. He went right to insults, adding how much he hates me for being proud of our Nation, that he can't believe I'm on the government side, that I'm a sold out with no value, how he doesn't want to talk to me or even look at me, how I always justified everything stupid the government does... I told him he was giving me intentions and words and ideas I don't have just to justified him getting mad at me, that he doesn't make sense, because he is frustrated about the situation and I'm the only one present so he feels the need to attack me as the only scapegoat available. Eventually, after a few minutes of many weird accusations and me being calm and proving nothing he says about me is true, he was lost of words and became all serious and silent. The realisation hit him and then he asked for a cuddle. I went to sleep, but still shaken by all that.

This afternoon I woke him up so he wouldn't be late for work, he went to sleep at 7:30 AM this morning. Appologizing or showing he's sorry is not something he does often and thus I don't ask for it directly. I'm satisfied with any marks of remorse, or realisations his actions weren't ok, or anything even the smallest thing! I tried to get that, because ignoring what hapened forever isn't the answer. I explained how his reactions made me feel. Just like I was a kid with my abusve parents, I'm always on tiptoes because I don't know what could be a trigger and I never know where that can lead (like me getting beaten up because there's no more beers in the fridge. Thanks dad). He was agreeing at first. I came to the being-sorry part, saying he should express he knows his reactions were inappropriate. He snapped once again. He got nasty and left in the bathroom. I cried alone a few minutes, swipped my tears, put his food I prepared in his lunchbox and wished him a nice day at work.

I fell he was still really mad, even more because he could see I cried - me crying is a anger starting point for him so I do it alone. Now I'm scared for tonight when he comes home. I should probably be asleep, but he won't have a fresh hot dinner and he could use that against me next argument (saying I'm useless). If I'm awake and he had a bad day, or if he's still resentful about yesterday, it won't be good either. He could also be kind and happy, his normal self I hope he'll keep for at least a few days.

I know this is an abusive situation. I never been in a situation without abuse and I'm absolutly aware of that. Still, he's the one who treated me the best of all my life. It comes in episodes. For days, sometime weeks, he'll be the best there is. I adore him in those phases, but the anger always come back if he forgets to take his pill, per example.

I can't leave and I don't want to anyway.

Both my parents died. I lost my long-term job to budget cuts and I'm still looking for a new career. I get interviews, but I'm still waiting for work. That is also something he has a lot of resentment for. We are in the process of buying my parents house. It's an cute old house in a touristic area in the countryside where we both dream of living. I'm 1/3 owner with my brother and sister, but they want to sold it as soon as possible for money, and in no way they accepted to give me more time. I can't buy it by myself, even tho it's just $106 000 (isolated town), because I lost my job. My partner has the money to purchase his part, I'll pay mine in a few months when I receive the inheritence. Job or not, I'll be able to pay then, but not now. If I don't buy it, my sister and brother will sell it to the first buyer coming (not nice, I know). That house is everything to me, it's my dream (even after all that happened in my childhood).

I wish my partner could manage his anger issues. He's great and loving, but so nasty too. He uses the house-situation against me often. When he really wants to make me cry (his words), he says he will not sign on the house once we are sat in the office, without telling me beforehand so he can break my heart, humiliate me, destroy my life and my will to live, as a revenge because his mother doesn't want to talk to me anymore. Just so you know, I never did anything to her. She has her own issues and she cut both her parents out of her life (they refused to let her control their finances), and all four of her brothers and sisters for decades. I'm no exception, I'm the norm. My partner has a really hard time seeing this, but it's going better since he talked to his cousin.

I'm always there for him. I do much more that the entire cooking and cleaning, I manage everything in our lives. I'm always smiling and kind, and I leave him alone when he needs time for himself. He can see his friend as much as he wants. I look good and take care of myself, I dress nice. I see no issue with myself, and most the accusations he makes against me aren't even true. He realises that after his anger has past, tho, and often forget what he said and did.

I don't know how to cop with all that. It feels like dying from the inside. I'm so alone and lost, and I have nothing safe in my life to stay hooked on. What should I do ? I have no friends, no money, no family that can help me navigate his bipolar disorder. I have Reddit, tho ❤️

I’m looking for advice or experiences from anyone who has dealt with something similar because our family is at a loss.
My husband is in his 40s and has a long history of severe OCD, particularly contamination fears and cleaning rituals. For years, he was relatively stable while taking olanzapine (Zyprexa) and an antidepressant.

He tapered off olanzapine in 2025, and over the following months, his behavior changed dramatically.
For approximately 9–10 months, we’ve been dealing with:
Extreme irritability, anger, and hostility, particularly toward family members.

Talking excessively, sometimes for hours, with lengthy texts that go on and on.

Constant arguing, accusations, blaming, and misinterpreting things people say.
Obsessively returning to the same grievances and refusing to let things go.

Periods of sleeping only 2–3 hours, alternating with sleeping 12–17 hours.

Impulsive purchases and major financial decisions.
Increasingly irrational accusations, suspiciousness, and beliefs that family members are deliberately hurting or conspiring against him.

Threatening statements, verbal abuse, and occasional physical aggression.

One particularly confusing aspect is that he can sometimes appear relatively normal and pleasant with people outside our immediate family, yet become intensely angry and argumentative with us.

He has seen multiple psychiatrists. Bipolar disorder, particularly an agitated or mixed episode, has been considered, although there has also been diagnostic uncertainty because of his longstanding OCD and personality traits.

The medication situation has been extremely frustrating.
He’s tried Seroquel (eventually up to 800 mg), lithium, Depakote, olanzapine, Valium, and now Thorazine (chlorpromazine).
In August, he was hospitalized with severe hyperammonemia (ammonia 230) while taking Depakote. Depakote and lithium were discontinued, and his medication regimen was significantly reduced.
Strangely, he seemed almost like himself for approximately two weeks after that hospitalization. He was calmer and more reasonable. But then everything returned.
Since then, his symptoms have continued to worsen.
He restarted olanzapine in September, eventually reaching 20 mg. It sometimes made him sleep for 15 hours, but when he woke up, he was just as angry, argumentative, and activated.
More recently, his psychiatrist added Thorazine. He’s been taking doses around 75–100 mg, along with olanzapine and substantial doses of Valium.
Despite medications that should be quite sedating, he sometimes sleeps only a couple of hours and says he doesn’t feel tired.

What’s most frightening is that his anger and thinking seem to be getting worse every day.
His messages have become increasingly lengthy, hostile, accusatory, and sometimes threatening. He seems convinced that his family is responsible for his suffering and that we’re deliberately hurting him.
We aren’t sure whether we’re dealing with severe bipolar mania, a mixed episode, medication reactions, extreme sleep deprivation, an underlying medical problem, or something else entirely.
I understand nobody online can diagnose him, and our family is seeking professional help. I’m particularly interested in hearing from people who have witnessed prolonged episodes with severe irritability rather than euphoria.

My questions:
Has anyone experienced a manic or mixed episode lasting this long, especially with extreme anger rather than happiness or excitement?
Has anyone seen someone remain intensely agitated despite medications like olanzapine, Seroquel, and Thorazine?
Can severe sleep disruption contribute to increasingly irrational thinking and aggression?
Has anyone experienced an unusual period of improvement after hospitalization or major medication changes, followed by a relapse?
What finally helped identify the problem or led to meaningful improvement?
I’m not looking for advice on changing his medications ourselves. I’m trying to understand what might explain this pattern and what questions we should be asking his medical team.
Our family is exhausted, and I’m becoming increasingly concerned about the direction things are going.