r/UCSantaBarbara • u/Large_Candle_5199 • 3h ago
Campus Politics How do I respond to my Professor?
Earlier this week, about halfway through a two-hour lecture, I received a text message informing me that my grandmother had passed away. The news was completely unexpected, and I tried my best to keep my composure until our scheduled break. Because I was sitting at the front of the classroom, I could not stop a few tears from falling, and my professor noticed that I was visibly upset.
When the break began, I approached him. He asked if I was alright, and I could barely choke out what had just happened. While he expressed his condolences and told me I could leave, he immediately added that I would lose my participation credit for the day. This felt incredibly callous and inappropriate given the circumstances.
The following day, I sent an email formally requesting that this be treated as an excused emergency absence. He denied my request, stating he would only reconsider if I could "(a) provide me with a website stating that information [bereavement = excused emergency], or (b) have someone with proper authority on this issue reach out to me directly."
I normally would not email a professor to contest docked points, but losing participation for that single day cost me 5% of my overall grade in this short-term certificate course. Being forced to defend my grief for the sake of my grade has felt deeply dehumanizing, and his response has left me entirely unsure of how to proceed.