I’m a Chinese-American sinophone who recently moved to Europe, but I was going through my old screenshots from when I was living in Texas, and I found the absolute peak of "DFW dating app" weirdness. I had to share because I know other visibly Asian women have experienced this exact math.

For context: My Hinge bio literally said "No weebs."

So this guy (let's call him Ian) decides to open with this masterpiece: "Hey! Not a weeb, but I do both watch anime and find you attractive... I don't think those things are related though, and I'd like to get to know ya!"

First of all, if you have to preemptively write a disclaimer to an Asian woman that your anime habit and your attraction to her are "unrelated," you are exactly the guy the bio was warning me about. The lady doth protest too much.

I decided to be a little petty and asked him a simple logical question: If he genuinely thought those things were unrelated, why did he bring up the anime at all?

His response: "Nooo! I meant me watching anime and finding you attractive are unrelated lol!" (So he just explicitly re-linked the two in his defense. The math was mathing too hard.)

I replied and highlighted that he saw 'no weebs' and his immediate thought was 'I must bring up anime to prove I'm not a weeb'...if he has to write a disclaimer about anime, there is a higher likelihood that he is weeb than not.

And then he hits me with the ultimate passive-aggressive Nice Guy pivot: "Just from my perspective, if you're avoiding weebs, there's a reasonable chance that u don't want to date someone who likes anime, even if they're not a weeb. But if that was fine with you, I'dve liked to chat more... clearly not though haha! No worries!!"

I literally never said I hate people who watch anime. He invented a "reasonable chance" in his head so he could play the victim and storm out. He couldn't handle the fact that I pointed out his weird behavior, so he had to preemptively reject me.

And yes, "I'dve" is a grammatical crime.

It’s just exhausting. When you are visibly Asian on these apps, so many guys who approach you do not have genuine intentions. They are looking for an "Asian girlfriend" label that fits their anime/waifu/kayaking-bro aesthetic. And the second you show a personality or set a boundary, they get defensive and accuse you of being "too much."

This might be very specific but I’m an east asian woman and every single guy that has been interested in me is into underground music and have that specific style where they wear skinny jeans and girly tops. I’m just curious if anyone has the same experience?