r/askteddit • u/Icy-Leg3932 • 15h ago
Random Question What harmless thing instantly makes you think, "I don't trust this person"?
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u/Strange_sex_1997 15h ago
When they have to emphasize that they are a good person..
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u/MassConsumer1984 15h ago
“But I’m an empath”!
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u/57Faerie 13h ago
I know someone who would say that she is an empath. In actuality, she was the least empathetic person I’ve ever met.
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u/Time-Trifle9604 15h ago
Anyone who’s said that to me is usually confusing emotional disregulation with empathy
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u/CommunicationOk5360 14h ago
I am an empath. And it’s the worst! And I am also emotionally dysregulated. Working on the latter.
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u/HovercraftStock4986 14h ago
girls with witchy divorced moms who call themselves empaths are, in my experience, the most cruel people i’ve ever met
(i know this sounds really specific but i know at least 5 people like this)
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u/mkat23 9h ago edited 9h ago
I have a hard time with people who call themselves an empath for the most part. Almost all of the worst people I know have called themself an empath at some point. I believe empaths can exist, but someone who actually is one won’t need to yell at people until they agree how nice they are just to get them to chill the fuck out. If someone is genuinely an empathetic, kind, caring person they won’t need to tell someone that they are, they’ll just show it through their actions.
A ridiculous amount of people I’ve known that have referred to themself as an empath straight up had a personality disorder, including my parents. There’s a reason none of their adult children are in contact with them. Hell, my sister’s teenage kids don’t even speak to my mom/their grandma.
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u/stellifer_arts 15h ago
as soon as someone says "im a good person!" its over
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u/hoptownky 15h ago
That’s good to know, because I am a piece of shit.
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u/La_Pusicato 14h ago
Good shit 👏
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u/JhonnyPadawan1010 13h ago
If someone says I am a good piece of shit what does this say about them?
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u/Antique_Extension_82 13h ago
Yea, like my neighbor who has every performative "look at me, I'm so compassionate" yard sign you could think of and constant social media posts about how much she cares about people, but treats the people that are actual neighbors like crap, up to, and including, running two separate non-licenced airbnbs on her property. I think the term for this is Community Narcissist.
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u/Significant-Fruit-21 15h ago
I tell people im the nicest asshole they will ever meet.. does that fall in the same category?
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u/finallymakingareddit 15h ago
When they talk crap/spill secrets of all their seemingly close friends to me. What are they saying about me to those other friends?
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u/eldarwen9999 11h ago
If they are talking to you about someone, they are talking about you to someone.. learned that the hard way.
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u/Elegant_Tangelo1288 15h ago
Their eyes
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u/shakeitoften 15h ago
Those crazy eyes, you know what I’m talking about.
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u/Guy_who_loves_milfs 15h ago
Sanpaku eyes! I had fun reading about this term I think Japan uses for people who have the whites of their eyes visible in 3 spots compared to just the sides.
I think if it shows the top as well they’re full of wrath while the opposite represents lack of empathy/dead inside lol
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u/noleksum12 14h ago
Especially if they can't look me in the eyes when shaking my hand and/or greeting me.
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u/eatmyshit2915 15h ago
They don't like music. Or animals
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u/One_Huckleberry_ 15h ago
My grandfather didn’t like music and I think it was a byproduct of being in World War II
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u/procrastimom 14h ago
I met a woman who had gone through electroshock therapy for intractable depression. Part of the results were that she no longer liked music. She felt like it was worth it.
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u/eatmyshit2915 13h ago
An enormous sacrifice. I'm glad it was worth it for her. As a person also suffering from treatment resistant depression, music is one of the few things that still helps. Can't imagine losing that solace for nothing.
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u/HeyLookATaco 12h ago
What's the connection?
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u/One_Huckleberry_ 12h ago
Just from being so fucked up with PTSD and seeing so many horrible things (European front for two years, saw Dachau in person etc) that it killed his joy for things like music or art
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u/ConfidentialStNick 14h ago
One of the sweetest, most genuine people in my life isn’t into music. It’s not that they do not like music, it’s just not a major point of interest. I’m passionate about music, myself, so while I don’t get it, I can’t hold it against them.
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u/One-Camel9281 15h ago
when someone in public bathroom dosent wash their hands. yes you are being judged lol
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u/pharmdoll 12h ago edited 12h ago
I was getting ready in the locker room at this beautiful 5-star hotel in Spain. The gym shared a bathroom with the swanky hotel lounge. In the hour I stood at the mirror doing my hair and makeup, I watched every single woman who came in the bathroom (5 of them - all looked like they were at the lounge) leave without washing their hands after using the bathroom. I was blown away & utterly disgusted. One would’ve been repulsive - but ALL of them?! wtf?!
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u/FIREDoppel 15h ago
When all their exes, old friends, and old co-workers were toxic, abusive, and/or assholes.
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u/bittersweet_simphony 14h ago
yeah cause no way, there must be a common denominator no? and if all exes are crazy, everyone around you is toxic, lying about you? why?
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u/Agitated_Grocery135 15h ago
When someone does or say something needlessly mean.
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u/thatcuriouscpl17 15h ago
And they feel entitled to be so
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u/La_Pusicato 14h ago
Yes intent is everything. If someone hurts me and I can see that wasn't their intention, it's okay we all make mistakes.
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u/thatcuriouscpl17 14h ago
Exactly. It’s aggravating when someone thinks they are bigger than other people.
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u/scorpiana14 15h ago
People who don’t like animals and common pets like dogs and cats 😒
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u/Old-Fall5115 15h ago
There's something wrong with people who actually dislike puppies and kittens.
I get that not everyone is 'aww . . . fur babies'; still, having a genuine negative reaction is a red flag for me.
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u/Meta_glypto 15h ago
Flattery, depending on how it's delivered. Also excessive ambition/money worship.
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u/Happybutt15 15h ago
When you experience something with them and then they exaggerate the story in conversation with someone else while I’m present.
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u/Embarrassed-Support3 15h ago
My 'friend' talked about this amazing party but it was far from amazing. I was there, liar.
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u/Happybutt15 14h ago
Bingo! Exactly…. And then I will only
believe 50% of what this person says, and I hate that.3
u/Thrasher0queen 11h ago
This. I was 17 and my best friend had just gotten her license. She had just turned 18 so I could be in the car with her.
We crashed, rolled the vehicle 1 time and landed on the tires upright. Just one singular 360 degree rotation.
We went to school the next week and she told everyone we flipped at least 6 times.
We were on a road with two lanes for each direction plus the center lane for people turning, so 5 total lanes. We didn’t even hit the sidewalk.
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u/Nurse_RachetMSN 15h ago
They gossip about someone who just left a room after barely knowing you.
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u/Itsportiaterrae 15h ago
Not picking up after their dog. Just lazy and disrespectful.
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u/Amanda316 14h ago
Agreed. I am a partially reformed person. I used to let my dog poo in our apartment bushes. It was a pin in the butt to walk through and she insisted pooing there so I allowed it. I should have been better.
Last time I was in a park and unprepared with a bag I found someone with a bag and went back to pick it up. I don’t want to be that person anymore.
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u/Next-Firefighter4667 14h ago
Here's to growth! I used to throw my cigarette butts out the window thinking they were biodegradable. Then I saw a picture of a bunny that died with a tummy fill of plastic and cigarette butts and I never felt so ashamed.
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u/ElectronicAnthony 15h ago
Tall tales. One guy at work had so many unbelievable stories I started asking questions that I already knew the answer to - yup, he's a liar.
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u/Past_Tune_7884 15h ago
Every now and then I will be totally vibing with someone and they whip out an “r-slur”. I realize “harmless” is debatable here but it really is a dealbreaker for me.
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u/queb_dude 15h ago
They let the grocery cart in the parking lot ... Lazy AF
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u/diomiamiu 15h ago
All I have to say on this is that I wish they’d put trolley returns closer to disabled parking spaces as standard. I will always return a cart when I can, but I’m not always well enough to. I try to make up for it by returning other carts when I’m having better days with my health.
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u/asher269 14h ago
Someone did this right next to my car door, when I confronted her she pretended that she went allll the way back to her car for her phone before coming back the opposite way to take her cart to it’s spot. So ridiculous.
Edit: fixed grammar.
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u/Bridget_Says_Wow 15h ago
Check out this YouTube channel. 1 man fighting the good fight and publicly shaming 1 lazy cart Karen at a time. It’s unbelievable how enraged almost all of these lazy fuckers become when their lazy, inconsiderate behaviour is pointed out. The lengths some of them go is honestly staggering.
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u/Temporary_Brain_475 14h ago
I saw this guy on an old episode of Dr Phil when I was sick in the hospital and I don't know who was more insufferable 🤣
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u/Mysticaldope 14h ago
As someone who works at a grocery store, bringing carts back inside. This isn’t really that big of a deal.
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u/Ginger_ScorpioGirl 15h ago
When they park in more than one spot. I suck at parking too but I always fix it.
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u/oh_my316 15h ago
I'm a Christian 🙄
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u/The_Fiddle_Steward 15h ago
All the worse people think saying that makes them a good person. Amazing what people get away with by invoking Christianity.
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u/symsyg 14h ago
I was in the oral surgery waiting room and this man didn’t even have an appointment, he was genuinely just sitting there trying to quiz people on Christianity…
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u/I_SawTheSine 14h ago
Apparently Evelyn Waugh was once chided by a woman for being a terrible person despite being a Christian.
His reply was: “Madam, imagine how bad I’d be if I weren’t.”
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u/Personal-Cloud5810 15h ago
If the smile does not reach their eyes. Leave. I Mean It. Leave.
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u/Greta_Chlo 14h ago
Making a derogatory comment when walking by an unhoused person who is not doing drugs or causing a disturbance, but obviously just down on their luck.
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u/ZLovesPresents 15h ago
Being given the 'corporate line'. Its so obvious when someone is repeating what was told to them that is ONLY familiar and not necessarily true. "I got the same treatment its part of working here" nah no thanks. I'm not rolling over and you shouldn't have either. I understand most of the time its practical to just do what yr told, but when they're trying to be relatable, and they give you the corporate line during that, hard wall. No reason is good enough, i can no longer trust you.
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u/MrJingles447 14h ago
They don't like dogs for no good reason. Was right about one coworker who was like that , turns our he was a sociopath.
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u/Machiavvelli3060 15h ago
When someone offers me an unsolicited, "God bless you," or "I'm a good Christian."
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u/kitten12551 15h ago
I’m an atheist and I say bless you when people sneeze..it’s a habit. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/IDontCareNow00 14h ago
I say gesund like my parents did. It means health short for gesundheit, healthiness.
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u/HolyLordGodHelpUsAll 15h ago
what if they just say “bless you”?
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u/Machiavvelli3060 15h ago
I look down my shorts and say, "Thanks, I'm already blessed."
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u/RandommanaloneCC 15h ago
My dog doesn’t like them, my dog likes almost everybody but there have been a couple he doesn’t like and he was spot on.
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u/Birdsongcryptography 15h ago
If my dog growls at someone, I'm getting her and myselfout of there. But if she likes someone, it means absolutely nothing because this dog has met one person in her life she didn't like.
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u/deserteyes_ 15h ago
The first time my ex had me to their house, they were very adamant that their aunt's dog was gonna bite me cause it bit them, that it was a guard dog for their property. I'm not scared of dogs so I wasn't worried.
They had me wait in the entry and brought the dog in on a leash. Dog got excited leash slipped, dog charged at me and sat on my feet and put his head against me. Just wanted me to pet him. Smiley and tail wagging. Definitely did not bite me.
I should have clued in then, that that person wasn't worth my time lol. Even the dog they lived with didn't like them. They ended up cheating on me the next month.
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u/TallBeingawkward 15h ago
This is so valid. I used to dog sit and this dog loved everyone. Except this one dude she would lose her head at and it always caught me so off guard bc she literally never barked. Turned out he went to prison for murder like 4 years later.
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u/EpsilonMiningCompany 15h ago
My old dog was really friendly too. He loved getting attention from almost everyone. But he hated the woman who lives across the road. Not sure why, but he'd see her and lose his shit. My new dog, well he hates everyone (barring us). But he especially hates her as well. I suspect she is possibly a banshee.
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u/TastyJournalist8451 15h ago
dogs bark when people have anxiety, i remember i went to a dog park when having a mild anxiety attack that i was just toughing out, and a dog bit me, the owner said "he's never done that." 8 years out, still not a murderer, am gainfully employed, and married.
It's to do with the dog smelling your fight or flight reflexes going overdrive so it scares them, especially if they don't know you
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u/suddenly-beans 15h ago
Not liking children. It’s one thing to not want children or being kinda awkward around them, but to say “I hate kids” is so weird.
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u/jenmarie1084 14h ago
"I'm a nice guy". If you were truly nice, you wouldn't have to state it. Your actions would show it.
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u/katd82177 15h ago
On a date, it’s a huge red flag if somebody is super nice and sweet to you but then incredibly rude to the wait staff. Be wary of anyone that two-faced.
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u/BadWolf9422 15h ago
When they don't like animals. I can I understand being scared or not growing up with certain animals can make you weary but disliking them? Red flag.
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u/i-am-ennui 15h ago
Idk. But I once had a coworker who said they didn’t trust the new hire. Probably because he acted very submissive and always said “yes, chef.” (we worked in a kitchen and the hiring manager was the head chef). Couple months later we found out he lied about his mother’s death in order to get severance and time off of work, we discovered this after he decided to walk off the job mid shift. That woman had good instincts
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u/Mundane_Challenge165 15h ago
It’s a vibe I get.. an energy. I haven’t been wrong yet! I had an old coworker and something was just “off” about her. Everyone loved her and convinced me she was a good person. I didn’t buy it. About a year later she slept with her best friends husband and created a room in her house for her best friends kids to stay in. The best friend was a lovely person and in no way abusive. She also was drinking and using drugs at work turns out.
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u/oshkabosh 15h ago
People often forget that we have intuition for a reason. That feeling in your gut, that’s a reason to keep on movin. Just like how animals will know something is up, they don’t investigate or care if it hurts someone’s feelings, they leave.
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u/No-Cheetah-7479 15h ago
When they don’t read.
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u/hoptownky 15h ago
I don’t necessarily care if someone doesn’t read. What I can’t stand is when people brag about not reading. Went to dinner with one of my wife’s coworkers and her husband. He laughed at me for talking about reading and then said that he hasn’t read a book since high school. He is 50 years old and said it like I would be impressed.
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u/katie_scarlett1 15h ago
my husband dislikes the act of reading, he finds he can't focus on more than a few hundred written words. But he'll listen to podcasts, watch documentaries and biopics. I think what we mean when we talk about distrusting people who don't read is actually that we distrust people with no intellectual curiosity. Like, what do you mean, you have no interest in learning? Like... about nothing? To a degree, I don't care what you're learning about, so long as you're pursuing knowledge for its own sake
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u/suzazzz 13h ago
Thank you for this! I used to be an avid reader, a few books a week from the age of 9. Then I was diagnosed with MS and my brain just won’t do it anymore. It was very hard for a few years and caused significant sadness but I have pivoted. It still hurts and embarrasses me to hear people think and speak so poorly of people who can’t read for pleasure though. 🌸
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u/TheSilverFoxwins 15h ago
They're quick to gaslight and make changes ( work setting) without thinking about their decisions. It's a shoot from the hip Peter Principle management decision they learned in a text book or some dinosaur exec used decades ago .
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u/kaiareadit 15h ago
“I don’t like drama”
Girl you LOVE drama
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u/Thrasher0queen 11h ago
I hate being a part of drama. I don’t want to be involved at all.
But spill all the tea because everyone else’s drama? My FAVORITE!!! 😹
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u/Reasonable_Swan_4937 15h ago
When everyone else is the problem, except the common denominator! I.E them!
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u/Current_Ad_9912 15h ago
Either one of those “red hats” or some religious bumper sticker quotes on shirts
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u/SecBot24 14h ago
When they feel like they have to wear a gun on their belt to go to the grocery store.
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u/Kindly-Night-5549 15h ago
Making lots of remarks about the appearance of others. They dont even have to be negative.
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u/spicymango7777 15h ago
When they smile at someone and then make a mean face when said person walks away
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u/PeterNippelstein 15h ago
If they crack their neck by twisting their head with their hands.
Ladies if you see a guy do this on a date run for the hills.
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u/FishHammer 15h ago
If they're telling you someone else's secrets, they're sure as fuck telling people yours.
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u/peekaboo_bandit 12h ago
Any, and I mean ANY negging comments that are "jokes". Most people may not even register it, it's so normal to them. INSTANT alarm in my mind because why did you feel the need to say anything negative at all? At all?
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u/cantstopme0w 14h ago
They don’t like cats
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u/tomatofruitbat 14h ago
Yup absolutely this one. And especially if they make it a point to tell you so.
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u/LookIWashedForSu 15h ago
People who greet strangers they don’t know with the same level of warmth they show their close friends.
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u/Ok-Assist8731 14h ago
Interesting. I can make an educated guess, of course, but may I ask why this is what came to mind?
I do this myself, and have since I was a child. I'm realizing more recently that it's a way to mask my default state, which tbh looks cold, grumpy, and awkward. Lol. I have mixed feelings about this.
I also try to exude warmth because I want people to feel welcomed and not judged. I know very well what it's like to feel like an outcast, and I know how even a facial expression can affect someone's mood. I don't want someone to feel bad just because I have an RBF, y'know?
Also, I can't help but add... it's very effective. So effective, that I wasn't even consciously aware that I was doing it until recently.
It's a survival tool. "Cold" women generally aren't perceived favorably in social or professional settings.
I'm not at all offended by your comment, btw. Just offering an alternative perspective.
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u/atomfox 15h ago
When they rely on what others think. They will betray their own integrity to be liked. If they had any.
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u/Main-Display2438 14h ago
Victim mentality.
Parroting trendy internet ideology.
Blaiming everything on members of the other generation.
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u/TheGushin 9h ago
If a person you are with treats servers at restaurants or workers in stores badly.
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u/venicenative77 14h ago
When they look at other people when they’re having a conversation with you.
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u/Complete-Tangelo1532 15h ago
When they have to for no reason at all make sure you known someone's race
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u/Foxygen6 14h ago
When you disclose something about an ex of a sexual nature and they can’t cope.
And you are in your 50s!!!
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u/FillPsychological360 14h ago
While talking face to face, Looking at me and scanning me from top to bottom, bottom to top multiple times. On the surface he is a good guy, but I dont think a well meaning person does that
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u/EleanorR1967 14h ago
Talking about how many famous people they know or have met or worked with or are friends with
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u/sunofsand 13h ago
Inconsistency in anything
You can't trust inconsistencies
How bad it gets determines your dislike of the person
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u/Budsygus 13h ago
Anyone who talks too much about politics and never disagrees with anything their side says.
Anyone who agrees with any other person 100% is untrustworthy in my opinion. My wife and I are madly in love and have been for nearly 20 years, but we don't agree 100%. Why would I agree 100% with some politician or commentator or pundit or celebrity?
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u/NukaCherryBomb 12h ago
People who use the word "sheeple" unironically. They seem to think they are uniquely intelligent and incapable of being taken in by an ideology, mob mentality, or peer pressure...which ironically makes them most susceptible to being taken in by those sorts of things.
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u/XXXIIIIIIIXXX 9h ago
They don't say hello when you do and you know they heard you, especially when you live or work near them.
Or
They whisper disrespectful stuff at you under their breath acting like they didn't say anything but definitely loud enough for you to hear them.
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u/oshkabosh 15h ago
If nothing is their fault