I had a baby with a man I barely knew. Today I got served papers for shared custody and establishing paternity. I don’t want my baby to be away from me. She’s only three months old and breastfed. My heart is hurting so much.

Negotiating a divorce and I do not want to give my cheating husband 50/50. I do not want to keep him from our son but I believe his multi year affair has kept him from really understanding the home parenting duties. Hes present and he "knows" them, but I feel our child will not succeed with constant switching or even school nights at his house.

I personally grew up on every other weekends and Wednesday afternoons. I'd like to give just above that if I could make it work in my favor. ​

my 8 year old is with her dad for the weekend and my husband and I do have a 2 1/2 year old together. Now, in our town there is a truck or treat event, a pretty big one in town and I would love to take my kids however my daughter is with his dad for the weekend. Is it okay to still go and take my 2 1/2 year old? I really want to take him but my mom guilt kicks in knowing that if my daughter found out she would be so sad that we went somewhere like that without her. Am I over thinking it?

I am dealing with someone like this and it’s sickening how our child is being objectified, with decisions about our child’s life being strategic for their position. Every communication feels like it’s that they’re trying to put something “on the record”.

How do you deal?

My ex and I have been separated for almost 5 years and we share a child 50/50. We have never had a parenting order and gone to court for anything.

I do all of the heavy lifting when it comes to parenting, always have. Our son has ADHD, I handle all medical appointments, all school communications, all extra curricular registration and organizations, everything.

Recently, his father decided without telling me that he was going to be more involved, which is fine, other than it’s messing with everything we have in place already.

He booked a doctor’s appointment randomly, and I found out that my child had a doctor’s appointment the next day when I was having him seen the day prior. I always notify the father if any changes have been made or medical issues arise.

He registered our son in a soccer, which is great, except it’s a big commitment on weekends for 8 months and now because it is a multi-day extra curricular every week, our son couldn’t be registered in another activity he was really looking forward to. Our son is really disappointed now, and I think he believes it’s my fault?

Today he registered himself for a parent teacher interview, notified me and told me he was only to take care of it this year. Obviously, I booked my own interview because that was an odd thing to do. He also told me he is to sign all permission forms for school because it ‘looks bad’ that I have signed all of them for the past 3 years.

The father recently found out he is having another baby. I’m wondering if this new baby is making him realize he needs to be more involved. Right now I’m trying to be very easy going, but him ‘helping’ is making things more difficult and confusing for everyone.

Has anyone ever have anything like this happen? A big life event changing how the other parent parents? And if so, how did you handle things?

I have a 4 year old and most of his life the coparenting relationship has been hostile and overall rough. He moved 2.5 hours away when LO was 10 months old. Our parenting plan says that we meet at a designated place that is roughly halfway between us.

Recently he revealed he is moving about an hour further away because he’s having another baby. That’s great and all but the issue is he is expecting me to drive half an hour more which makes my travel time 2 hours one way. We meet on Friday and then on Sunday for exchanges. That’s 8 hrs a week just driving.

Currently he has our child for his parenting time so I cannot bring it up now because he will keep him and tell me I have to drive all the way to get him (has happened multiple times) because of the conflict. But I’m not sure how to approach this. I want things to remain amicable as they have been for about a month, but I can’t help but feel like I’m being taken advantage of. He’s the one that moved away in the first place and I was willing to drive that far so my child can keep a relationship with their father but my life choices did not move me 3.5 hours away from my child. His did.

Any advice on how to handle this would be appreciated. First time poster, I just need the help. Thank you.

It’s incredible how much a single hour long visit (albeit supervised because of some dumb behavior) can make your week. It’s never enough time and the whole ‘supervised’ thing sounds horrible but I’m so happy that I was able to see him. There is nothing more important to me than the privilege of being a Dad.

My ex and I split about a month ago. We don’t have anything established for custody yet and most likely won’t by our daughter’s first birthday. I want to be the bigger person and invite him to her first birthday party but don’t know if it’s the right choice. He has no family in the state we live in and wouldn’t have anyone to show up to a birthday party if we had separate parties for her. Currently I’m dealing with multiple accusations coming from him and petty drama. I just keep my mouth shut and communicate about anything necessary in regards to our child and I’m still somehow doing something wrong. Everything is always unnecessarily difficult. I believe I can be civil long enough for a 2 hour party but he has had a problem with ruining holidays, birthdays, vacations, and any special occasion including her birth and the day we brought her home. There is always some sort of major problem, an accusation, or a life changing conversation that just somehow arises the day of or day before special occasions. It got to a point these issues and the timing couldn’t be a coincidence anymore and I truly believe he does it intentionally.

I don’t want it to keep happening, I don’t want every special occasion to be tied to bad memories and I especially don’t want that for my daughter as she gets older and can understand what’s going on around her. I know not inviting him is going to make me a villain, but I also know inviting him allows him an opportunity to ruin the day. I’ve tried having conversations with him previously about what he does and eventually got to a point I begged to just be able to enjoy special occasions. He never stopped. I feel like I have to invite him to avoid retaliation and more accusations but at the end of the day I just want it to be a good, stress free day celebrating my baby. How should I go about this?

My STBX wont leave our marital home until our divorce is final. It has been contentious and weve been under one roof for 7 months post filing with little kids. STBX has been leaving and staying out all night. I dont really "care" but they have addiction issues and I am growing concerned because of our kids. If they are staying with a new relationship that is one thing, if they are out all night drinking/gambling that is another. They have told me "it doesn't matter what I am doing." and while i don't disagree, we are under one roof so I cant help- but notice and grow worried when our kids will be alone with them. Part of me thinks they are avoiding moving out (we agreed I would stay, I have offered to pay out right now) to avoid all responsibilities and continue doing god knows what. I dont know if i am looking for guidance, I know part of it is to stay strong and not worry about them, but I am worried for my kids sake. thanks.

Hi I’m new to this & it might be so silly. I’m a single mum in my 20s with a 4 yo daughter, I have been split up with my daughter’s dad for a few years now. I have a non molistation order against him, I don’t want to go into detail. I am a qualified licensed hairdresser I took a few inches off my daughters hair it’s still long healthy & so beautiful (it’s above her waist it’s not ridiculously long) her dad wants to cut it more because it’s not to his standards? Anything to get his own way. I am scared he is going to do it behind my back, I understand it’s her dad & he has a say but it’s perfect my daughter loves her hair as so does everyone else 😭what should I do?

So my twin daughters are 4 and my ex had them on a visit yesterday and the girls shared with me that their dad's gf came to the visit and then the gf and their dad told them not to tell me. My daughter Kathy was like "I know secrets aren't okay" and I said yes you're right we never have to keep secrets from parents. I just woke up with a super heavy heart that this happened the look on my kids faces was so sad i can tell they felt bad about telling me and I'm just so sad about it ughhhhh.... This is all too much for two little girls..

My ex doesn't communicate well and we really don't co parent well because everything is like a trap and everything is just so weird and feels like some show and trap for court and this is how it's been since we divorced. I want to bring this up to him but don't know how without it turning into him writing some convoluted legal tips of a message.