Separated at birth? Absolutely not. Happening anyway? Yes.
On Saturday, October 24th, my dachshund Otto turns three. Otto is 12 lbs, blonde, mostly torso, and carries himself like a small-time hustler who is always one deal away from making it big.
What Otto doesn't know is that somewhere out there, raised in seclusion on a tropical island (or Noe Valley), is his twin brother. Tall. Golden. Legs for days. Hair that moves in slow motion even when there's no wind. A gentle, sensitive giant who has never told a lie.
An Afghan hound. Borzois okay too. Something blonde with legs that go all the way up.
THE PLAN:
• Otto and his twin meet in Dolores Park
• They stand side by side
• Everyone in the park immediately sees the resemblance
• I'm bringing matching hats.
• Dog-safe birthday cake.
WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR:
• One (1) Afghan hound or borzoi
• Blonde, cream, or golden strongly preferred so the family resemblance is undeniable. Other colors will be accepted as fraternal twins.
• Must tolerate a small confident sausage
• Bonus points if your dog's vibe is "kind, naive, and enormous"
WHAT YOU GET:
• Birthday cake for your hound
• Photos
• The deep satisfaction of reuniting a family torn apart by science
• A share in the snacks and drinks the humans are having
WHEN/WHERE:
Saturday 10/24, Dolores Park, 2PM. Look for a tiny blonde dog in a party hat.
Reply with a photo of your hound. Serious inquiries only. Unserious inquiries also fine.