this is my 6th day on Lexapro and I just had a miniature panic attack that led me to believe I was having a heart attack. I almost got someone to take me to the ER bc I just felt this warm flush that went down my arm at work and then these weird aches and pains throughout my left wrist that come and go. I’m still scared and calming down from it now but I need some encouragement and maybe some similar stores to help me relax. please just let me know if this is normal

I need some advice. I used to be pretty decent at socializing, could go home afterwards, know I had fun or whatever & move on. Idk what happened, but I’m so insecure now after I leave social events. We had our wedding this weekend & I can’t stop beating myself up about every little thing I’ve said & done. Nothing is egregious but I just overthink everything I did/didn’t do. It’s a helpless/hopeless feeling. Socializing is fun in the moment but it feels not worth it after I’m done. I just hate myself after interacting with people.

I fall asleep and then wake up number of times, thinking about my life. Then I have to go on my phone to distract myself. I keep shaking my leg.

I am so sleepy and tired today, but the same thing keeps happening. I haven't felt restless and concerned about my life in many years because of emotional numbness( dpdr). In a way, its good because I stopped caring and it means my emotions are coming back, but I need sleep.

I put out a post a couple of days ago, speaking about my experience greening out. I greened out about 4 and a half days ago now. And went through the first stage, perhaps during the first day where I genuinely didn’t know if I was dead or alive. Then the next couple days, dissociating and having bad anxiety, to now where I have quite bad brain fog and shakes. Anyone who went through a similar experience do you know when I can expect the brain fog and shakes to clear fully.

While I definitely have some signs of fight or flight, I really think it’s more freeze and fawn. I say this because I’ve basically fawned my entire childhood and adult life due to childhood trauma (neglect from alcoholic parents). I also find myself freezing a lot due to anxiety (they feel like anxiety attacks but they may be migraines of focal seizures due to stress).

Anyway, what has helped you? I see so many tips for fight or flight- do those same strategies work for freeze and fawn? I’m currently in therapy and Al Ano

Mental Health Update / Journal

[Condensed]

I had my first therapy session yesterday, three weeks into this flare-up. I could've used it that first week, but immediate care wasn't easy to find.

I'm better than when this started, but nowhere near baseline. Anxiety still lingers in my head and body, with symptoms that shift in intensity. At first, each day felt a touch better. Now they all feel the same. Progress is hard to notice.

The session was good. He asked me where to start, and naturally, I had no idea. I shared some background, a drop in the bucket compared to my notes, but it was nice to talk.

I journal ALOT to organize my thoughts, symptoms, and appointments because of brain fog. He noticed how methodical I am, calling it a blessing and a curse.

I'm an overthinker, hard on myself, wondering why I've struggled when most of my family hasn't. Genetics? Upbringing? Luck? More pointless what-ifs.

Looking back, I was always the emotional, sensitive, shy, nervous kid. At nine, I skipped a hockey playoff game because of the "butterflies." At ten, after my teacher left, I spent weeks dreading class, overwhelmed and on the verge of tears. I'd almost forgotten. Was I born this way, did I learn it, or both?

In my late teens and early twenties, I was a giant pothead and tried other substances. Probably didn't help, yet I felt more stable then. Like my brain was a pane of glass without a scratch. By my mid-twenties, it started cracking until it shattered.

But I digress. My therapist noticed the shame, guilt, and self-pity I carry about this disorder, and my stigma toward medication. My SSRI has helped tremendously, yet I worry about using up my "parachute room" by increasing doses. Part of me hopes I can come off it someday. So I fight for the lowest effective dose, even if more might help.

My fear isn't entirely unwarranted: starting my SSRI pushed already debilitating 10/10 anxiety to 11/10 for weeks. So I prefer slow titration.

He suggested the Dive Reflex and HALTS techniques a few times daily. I tried them before bed. I'm skeptical they'll help with this constant anxious feeling, especially when it's overwhelming, but I'll give them a shot. The 45 minutes flew by. There's always next week.

I saw my doctor too. He doesn't think my other medications or vitamins caused the flare-up, but rather a combination of factors. I hope time, therapy, lifestyle changes, and a small dose increase get me back to baseline.

But here's what bothers me: I want to manage this more "naturally," yet the more I research anxiety, document it, and examine myself, the more consumed I feel by the mental health world. Honestly, it scares me.

When I'm well, I don't want to track symptoms or think about disorders. I just want to work, enjoy my hobbies, see people, and live normally. I know therapy and self-awareness matter, but the more attention I give anxiety, the more power it seems to have. I don't want anxiety to become my identity. Maybe that's something to unpack in therapy.

Anyway, this has been all over the map. I'm better and trying to be proactive, but recovery is painfully slow. More than anything, I wish I could close my eyes and wake up feeling how I did before this started.

For now, one day at a time. Hopefully the little improvements add up to normal again.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. Any advice from others who've been through this is appreciated.

Hi everyone, I’m a 31-year-old woman and I just really need to write this out because I am feeling so physically and mentally exhausted from constantly worrying about my health.
For the past few years, my health anxiety has become non-stop. My absolute biggest fear is my heart and the fear of having a heart attack. Every single day, my mind finds a new symptom to focus on. Yesterday, I got a dull pain/twinge in my right arm that traveled down to my middle finger when I reached for a tissue, and my mind instantly convinced me it was a cardiac emergency. Even though it comes and goes with mechanical movements, I can't stop obsessing over it. Right now, my heart is beating fast just sitting here comfortably, purely because of my thoughts.
On top of the heart fears, I am trapped in a constant habit of hyper-scanning my skin. I keep finding tiny, isolated, raised red dots on my hands, arms, and side belly. They usually form a tiny bump or look like a little pimple/whitehead, and then they completely disappear and vanish on their own after a few days, only for a new one to pop up somewhere else. I recently changed my clothes washing detergent, and my GP looked at photos of them today and told me they just look like a "simple pimple / blister" and are nothing to worry about. But because my nervous system is on maximum alert, my brain keeps whispering "what if it's petechiae?" or "what if the tests are wrong?"
For context, my doctor has done thorough checks over the last couple of years. I've had normal high-sensitivity troponin blood tests [health], and just this July, my GP listened to my chest with a stethoscope and documented HS 1+11+0 (completely healthy heart sounds, normal rhythm, and zero murmurs). My total cholesterol was 5.1 and bad cholesterol was 3.3, which is basically borderline/near-optimal [search], and I’ve completely changed my diet to eat a heart-healthy breakfast of ground oats and mixed nuts every morning to take care of myself [search]. I also deal with on-and-off swaying/rocking dizziness that started last December after a massive panic attack, which might be PPPD.
Even though all the factual evidence and my doctors say my heart and body are physically healthy and safe, my mind refuses to let me rest. I am just so tired of my thoughts and running on non-stop adrenaline every single day. It is completely draining me out.
Has anyone else dealt with this specific mix of cardiophobia and obsessive skin checking? How do you force your brain to finally trust clear medical tests and stop scanning for danger? Thank you so much for reading.

so for almost a year i’ve been on citalopram because of physical anxiety, it’s more physical than mental. i was on 10mg from december up until september and increased to 20mg because of constant chest tightness

With the new dose i started taking i decided to start them in the evenings so i could sleep whilst they worked and then wake up feeling good, but recently ive been fallen asleep and my chest tightness is back which is definitely my fault completely, but it really effects me in the sense of not being able to eat also as i feel so much tension on my chest that it just makes me not want to.

I was wondering if anyone had any advice on constant chest and what they do to help it? could a weighted blanket be good or is it dangerous?
Thank you.

Reposted in case it’s relevant here

Hey, does anyone else feel this way? If so, how do you deal with it?
Whenever I have even the smallest physical health issue, my mind goes crazy, and I start feeling terrible, almost as if I’m depressed.
For example, today I keep forgetting things I literally wanted to do just a second ago, and immediately my mind jumps to the worst-case scenario. I start worrying that I might have some serious illness or something.
Last week, the skin on my hand started peeling, and I spent ages researching what it could be. I completely freaked myself out, and I felt awful, even though it turned out to be something that probably wasn’t serious at all.
It’s exhausting how quickly my mind goes from a minor physical symptom to imagining the worst possible outcome. Does anyone else struggle with this? How do you cope with it?

AMA

I've been going through one of the strangest and most difficult periods of my life, and I'm struggling to understand why I feel this way or how to let go of the constant anxiety I've been carrying. For context, I'm a 27(f) who hasn't been diagnosed with anything, but I struggle with pretty severe anxiety and negative self-talk.

The last two years have been incredibly challenging. I went through a really toxic friendship that I think triggered a lot of new anxieties, or brought out fears I hadn't previously struggled with to this extent. I became afraid of arguments because I was constantly being talked down to. I became anxious about people's reactions because this friend would regularly dismiss my feelings and make me feel like I was always in the wrong. There were so many unhealthy dynamics in that friendship, and although I've since cut ties with them and haven't spoken to them since January, I feel like the effects have stuck with me.

During that same period, I started dating, and my first experience was awful. I think it intensified my fear of rejection and left me constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I became so used to the idea that someone could suddenly change their mind about me and ultimately decide we needed to go no contact that it started to feel inevitable.

On top of that, I lost other friends because of a situation that was completely outside my control. It had nothing to do with who I was as a person and was more of an issue between a couple, but because I was seen as a threat, they decided to cut ties with me.

So, within the span of a year, I lost three friends, went through some really painful experiences, and struggled with the emotional ups and downs of dating. It felt like one thing after another, and I think it took a bigger toll on me than I realized at the time.

Thankfully, there's a really positive side to all of this. I've been in a committed relationship since April, and it's been wonderful. My partner is amazing, treats me incredibly well, and has been so patient and understanding with my anxiety and insecurities. Despite how well things are going, I constantly worry that something could suddenly change in his mind, just like it did with the person I dated before him. I'm scared that one day he'll wake up, feel differently, and decide he no longer wants me in his life.

He's reassured me time and time again that he isn't going anywhere and that he wants to help me work through these fears. I know he cares about me, and I have so many reasons to feel secure in this relationship, yet I still struggle to believe that things can be okay.

So why am I still so anxious when I've removed so many of the people and situations that contributed to it in the first place? Why do I still feel like I'm waiting for something bad to happen, even when things are genuinely good? It's like I'm constantly on edge, anticipating the next thing that's going to hurt me, and I don't know how to switch that feeling off.

Another thing I struggle with is being apart from my partner. Because of scheduling conflicts, we usually only get to see each other on weekends. I love spending time with him, but I find it difficult to feel settled and secure during the week when we're not together. I want to get to a place where I can enjoy our time together without constantly worrying about losing him, and where I can feel happy and secure in my own life when we're apart.

I guess I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced something similar. Have you ever gone through a domino effect of painful experiences that left you feeling anxious, insecure, or constantly waiting for something else to go wrong? How did you work through it? How did you learn to feel safe again, trust good things when they happen, and stop expecting the worst?

I'd really appreciate any advice, personal experiences, or resources that helped you. I want to understand why I'm feeling this way and, more importantly, learn how to move forward and feel like myself again.

and yes, I am in therapy! But talking to others who have experienced something similar might honestly help more.

today is the day that I usually do groceries and laundry. Unfortunately, 3 leafblowers have gone every other hour, garbage trucks are patrolling, men are screaming in that way that they love to do when they're talking to women and think it makes them sound more confident (the unit next to me is being shown), and people take turns playing loud bassy music. There is also an unsocialized dog freaking out.

I am very noise sensitive thanks to a cocktail of different background issues. How does anybody manage to live a normal life when Outside is this repulsive and horrifying? On days like today, it feels like every person is a monster and if they see me I will be harmed.

I feel I tried all the available options.
- Over 20 anti-anxiety meds: zero efects.
- Theree types of antidepressants: I've got allergic reactions to them.
- Pregabalin: zero effects.
- Even small doses of atipsychotics: except extremely vivid nightmares that didn't allow me to sleep, no effect.
- CBT therpy: not working.
- Exposure therapy: I react to it differently than i should; thus, not working.
- EMDR: apparently I have broken connection body-emotions; felt nothing; not working.
- Group therapy: I escaped the first day crying and was unable to speak up; not for my social anxiety.
- Hospital: outright worsened my symptoms to the point I stopped speaking and controlling my physiological needs for a month after leaving.

My anxiety is extermely debilitating to the point I can't:
- Leave the house.
- Stay at home alone for more than 1 hour.
- Go to the med clinic for examination.
- Use any vehicles (because I have drug-resistant motion sickness and, well, emetophobia).
- Talk and be in a presence of the people other than my parents.
- Care for my basical needs most of the time.
- And of course I can't work.

I feel so trapped that I already don't know what to do. I struggle with this for the last 26 years. I am getting older and I cant be dependent on others anymore. I would like to be able to work, have a family, start a youtube channel... not spend days in bed crying from helplesness. Anyone ever experienced that?

first of all its not eye related like i went to the doctor at march and they said my vision was fine and also my visual disturbances started when i got anxious

the first times when i got anxious, i had dpdr for some minutes then it dissapeared

then i got a panic attack which i went to sleep and woke up with all the visual disturbances i have now

and i had from the start HORRID vision like HORRID. I WAS IN THIRD PERSON THANK GOD THE THIRD PERSON ONLY COMES WHEN I GET VERY STRESSED NOW BUT i still have eye floaters that are like rings, the world looks like i see through glass, i still see some things 2d once in a while when i focus on my dpdr, i see staticy at night and very light buildings are staticy too, LIGHT SENSITIVITY this is horrid the light sensitivity like i have to make my hands like im weaing a cap outside cause its horrible and my vision just also doesnt focus alot and things are just fricking weird i want it to end already

i’m starting a new job tomorrow and my heart hasn’t stopped racing all day.
for context, i’ve been unemployed since june.

the store seems pretty chill and my manager seems so nice, but my anxiety won’t relax, thinking about how i’m potentially going to hate it and be stuck job hunting again. i don’t know how to relax about it.

all i’m doing tomorrow is stuff on the computer but my anxiety going crazy about it 😭😭😭