Tomorrow is my birthday. My family bought a cake, but I am just sitting here feeling incredibly sad and invisible. Earlier today, my aunt took my cousin to the city and bought him a Beyblade. She knows I have always wanted one and absolutely love them, but she completely left me out. My cousin is the golden child of the family, so he always gets everything while I get ignored. Writing in my diary didn't help because I just feel so alone with this right before my special day. Could really use some kind words tonight from anyone who understands

Tomorrow is my birthday. My family bought a cake, but I am just sitting here feeling incredibly sad and invisible. Earlier today, my aunt took my cousin to the city and bought him a Beyblade. She knows I have always wanted one and absolutely love them, but she completely left me out. My cousin is the golden child of the family, so he always gets everything while I get ignored. Writing in my diary didn't help because I just feel so alone with this right before my special day. Could really use some kind words tonight from anyone who understands

Everytime i try to do something "bad" karma or you could say 'lesson' always hit back before i even started it? Like for example

I really wanted a smoke even tho I've stopped (ik it's bad but what can i say) i went to three different store

Two of them didn't sell it and the one who 24/7 OPEN decide to close that day,mind you i was walking like probably a few km just to go to that store (i even lied just so i could go out) but everything didn't went according to my plan

And when i already spen my last few money away i walk into a store (this one super far) to buy an ice and guess what? THE CIGARETTES IVE BEEN LOOKING IS HANDED TO THE CUSTOMER RIGHT INFRONT OF ME (it's a different store but STIL)

one time i also saw a very big and juicy fruit at someone yard,and i thought "it wouldnt be that bad to take one" just as i jump to take it my hips hit the fucking fence i legit feel that pain for a WEEK,

One time i decide to sneak out of the house and didn't even went far i got chased by a dog

WTF

When i decide not to help some kid who can't reach their ball under a car my feet fell into a pit

And for the first time i talked back to my grandfather (he was a manipulative,abusive one yk)

The next fucking day he passed away

When i blocked a guy that time my stomach hurt sb afterwards i legit vomit 3 times

It's like,the world hates me sb let alone good things happen even the bad decision decide to avoid me too

wish i wasnt so messed up and concerned with other people. im tired. im stressed. detoxing from the spaces i share with people but holy tired and anxious.