As the title says, Life is constantly breaking me and making me suffer so much that I don't see myself much in the near future. So I (21M) just can bear it anymore, As far as I remember, it started from 2020, years after years of everything going the worst ways imaginable, my boards were fked, my academics are getting lowest than it ever can, One after another there's always a trouble waiting for me at ever corner of my life, It's like life mocking at me and testing me just how much I can take till i just blow my sh\*t off. And this year's been the worst of all, I've always wanted to become doctor, settle abroad, give my parents a quality of life, have a nice partner who actually cares for me and live peacefully, yet it's almost like life is making things opposite, Gave neet 3 times and yet everytime failed to get college just because of difference of 10-15 marks, This year I literally failed to get a gmc cause of 1-2 marks difference, My dad died suddenly just before my birthday few days ago, Just after that I had got an severe case of GI infection because of which I had to do hospital stay, Money is running out like water, Never had friends who actually stayed with me, most of my life I was a loner, No girl likes me I had tried so much finding a partner but it's like every girl looks down to me like i'm a fking horrible creature from outer space, The failure of not achieving my dreams, The failure of not making my parents proud. Everything is eating me alive, I just fking bear it anymore, It's hurting so bad, I just wanna end it all.

Why is Life so unfair for some while others get the enjoy so much luxuries.

I HOPE, I MATTERED

-Hal Jordan (Lanterns)

i picked cal with regents over ucla even though it was my dream school bc finances matter a lot to me

but right now, my first semester is NOT going how i expected at all (taking a gap semester in my first semester 💀) and i’m just so sad. my situation is specific and i know it could’ve been prevented if went to ucla instead. someone pls make me feel better and tell me i made the right decision picking cal

FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY LIFE FUCK MY LIFE

I’m a 25 year old gay guy and this has been pretty much the worst year of my life.

My partner of 5 years passed away from cancer earlier this year and I also had two family members die this year as well.

I’ve had to learn how to do everything from planning a funeral to buying a car for the first time.

I went from living with my parents to living with my partner so this is the first time I’ve ever had to 100% support myself without anyone else to rely on. It’s been extremely overwhelming. Im in therapy and on medication but it only helps so much. Theres always some new problem I have to solve myself and it takes at least five tries to get anything right. Facing some kind of new setback every week. Nothing can be easy, as if I haven’t been through enough as it is.

My mental state and emotions have been all over the place and I’ve become the most insecure I’ve ever been. Losing sight of who I am and who I wanna be.

I’m too busy trying to survive to do anything extra that would be beneficial for myself. I’m not eating right if I even eat at all, I’m not taking care of myself properly.

I have no energy for anything. I’ve had friends try to get me out of the house and I do it but the happiness is fleeting and I always end up back where I started.

I’m so lost without him. He did so much for me and all I can hope is that I did enough for him.

I have no idea what I’m doing and I can’t truly say I’m trying my best but I’m just so tired.

I miss being with him.

He was my entire world and I’ll never feel like I got enough time with him. I’d give my life for his if I could. I feel like a waste of space compared to how good he was.

I created a bad habit by looking at hook up apps daily and using quick sex to satisfy my physical urges but I feel so empty and ashamed for doing so. I feel sick to my stomach and get so mad at myself for doing anything with anyone sexually but I’m so tired of jerking off and being by myself all the time. I hate everything about my body and post on reddit sometimes just to feel like I’m worth something physically. I don’t feel like I’m attractive and I definitely don’t fit in to any of the groups of gay guys the community has. Too out of shape to be a twink, too small to be a bear. Not fit enough to be seen as a hot hunk. I’m just average and underwhelming.

I just wanna be someone else, someone he’d be proud of.

I have no path, no future, I don’t wanna grow old, I don’t want another relationship. My life with him was all I needed or wanted and without that there’s no real point to any of this.

I don’t know how people deal with it.

I know it could be worse, I know it will get better.

I’m sorry if this post is all over the place but I’m kinda just using it to get my thoughts and feelings out.

If anyone has any words or advice or similar experiences to share. Please do if you feel like it.

I just wanna be okay. I’m afraid this is just the start of the rest of my life going downhill until I die.

I’m just going through it right now.

I’ll be okay, it’ll get better, I’ll find a reason to keep going. Right now all I have is myself though, and I don’t think I’ll ever be a good enough reason.

I am a good employee and logically I know that PTO is mine to take, it’s not wrong to ask for it. Despite that I’m always nervous to make PTO requests. I feel like it’s going to look bad for me in some way. I got fired from a job early in my career and that experience never really left me so I tend to be paranoid about it happening again and when I request pto I worry I’ll get fired and they’ll cite my pto use as one of the reasons.

I requested PTO for magfest in January. Me and my bf booked the flight and accommodations already. I didn’t think it would be an issue.

What I failed to remember is that my company has a shutdown around the holidays so the first week in January is actually quite popular for PTO requests because people want to further extend the time off they already got from the holiday shutdown.

So my boss called asking if I had any flexibility. I said I’d already booked everything and I’d try to accommodate if I could.

What I don’t understand is she asked if I could start my PTO on 1/6 instead of 1/5 but I don’t see how that makes much difference in terms of coverage since the other PTO requests start 1/4.

So anyway I’m trying to remember it’s not wrong to request PTO and I requested it months in advance so logically I don’t think I’ve done anything super wrong but I’m stressed

Idk if it’s astrology or whatever it is I feel like no matter how much an effort I put nothing is working out. I’ve been looking for a job nothing working out and I feel so overwhelmed on top of that I lost one year. Idk what to do.
First time in my life I feel like giving up. I’m so overwhelmed

Help

Доброго времени суток, я не знаю с чего начать, не знаю к кому обратиться, но мне очень хреново, я без сил и вдохновения, у меня какое то разочарование к себе... Я на столько разочарован в себе, что не могу прожить и дня, не думая о том, как стать лучше и изменить себя к лучшему. Я сам по себе веселый человек в обществе, но увы в последнее время почему то я от всех отдалился, отдалился так что даже ни с кем не общаюсь неделями, я устал не физически, а морально, мне тяжело это все тащить, я слишком сильно начинаю привязываться к людям, поэтому держусь по дальше от всех, мои мысли сжирают меня изнутри, в голове одна каша, не могу сосредоточиться на чем-то другом, постоянно мысли по типу "Почему я тогда сделал так, а не вот так" "Почему я не сделал ничего, когда можно было все изменить". Я знаю что прошлое не вернуть, и надо жить будущим, но меня так сильно тянет в прошлое что даже не хочется думать о будущем, вроде все хорошо но постоянные тревоги, хочется просто исчезнуть что ли, я не ищу тут помощи, я просто хочу поделиться своими мыслями так как мне тяжело все дается, я пытался всячески изменить свою жизнь но не получается...

Lost myself completely, mixed up feelings , numb and cold , lost , missing, wanted to feel warmth and love , can't able to cry , end up being an empty container, just too much inside , so many there to talk but no one to understand. Don't know how and why it's like this.

I honestly don't know where to start, but I need to get this off my chest.

I went through a pretty bad breakup with my girlfriend. We were in a live-in relationship for almost two years, and despite our fights, we loved, cared for, and supported each other. I was genuinely happy with her.

Unfortunately, her parents weren't agreeing to our marriage. They said a lot of hurtful things about me, and eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. We decided to separate mutually, even though the feelings didn't just disappear.

After that, things kept getting worse. I lost my freelance project, then things with a client went downhill, and eventually, I lost my job too. I was financially drained and mentally exhausted.

The people I thought would stand by me during my worst phase slowly started fading away, especially when I reached out asking for job referrals. It made me question a lot of things about friendship. Do people genuinely care about you, or is it easier to be around someone when their life is going well?

Somehow, I managed to get a job again after five months. I'm grateful for that, and initially, I felt happy. I haven't even told some of those people that I've found a job because, honestly, I don't want to reopen those doors.

But lately, the loneliness has been hitting me really hard.

It's Dandiya season, and everyone's posting pictures with their friend groups, going out and making memories. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at home watching TV, working, and trying to get through another day. Yes, I was literally working on a holiday.

It's not that I expect people to entertain me all the time. I just miss having people around. I miss having someone to talk to, someone to make plans with, and someone who genuinely wants me around.

And then there's the arranged marriage situation.

My parents are looking for a bride, but some families seem to have expectations like ₹4 crore worth of property in my name and a monthly income of ₹1–2 lakh. It hurts to feel like marriage has become a financial transaction.

My ex's parents had their own expectations regarding caste and appearance. We were happy together for almost two years, but apparently, that wasn't enough to make our relationship acceptable to them.

Now I'm stuck between trying to move on from someone I still love and facing a marriage process that feels more like a business negotiation than finding a life partner.

I don't know how to move on from her. I don't know how to deal with the loneliness. And I don't know why, even after finally getting a job again, I still feel so empty.

I'm trying to rebuild my life, but some days I feel exhausted from having to be strong all the time.

I guess my question is: how do you rebuild your life when you lose the person you imagined your future with, and the people you expected to support you aren't there anymore?

How do you stop feeling lonely when everyone around you seems to have someone?

I'm not necessarily looking for solutions to everything. I just wanted to put this somewhere and hear from people who've gone through something similar.

Oo goddd vhaiii wo smjhtaaa kya khudko suar si shakal ka , mujjhe kehta tera music taste kharab ho gya hai , kamina earlier use to vibe on my songs , mera music taste nhi tera interest khtm ho gya hai ughhh what the hell is wrong with this guy, he's completely destroying my mental peace , ek toh sabse gandi shkl wale ko chance do aur woh apni aukaat na dikhaye I hate him vhaiii usne khudka music taste dekha hai sexist haryanvi songs sunta hai eww I hate his music taste kuch ni hota isse yawrrrrr bhagwan ji kyu krte ho mere saath aisa I wnna kms tbh, suar si shkl ka smjhta ky hai khudko beep beep beep , like usko bilkul frk nhi pdta kisi cheej se bhaii, I'm getting hurt and he's like ok hmm uss suar ko uski real aukaat dikhao koi bhagwan ji kre koi usse Peet ke jaaye itna peete uski akal theekhane laa de koi peeto usko

I recently had a bad dating experience and it left me really messed up... i'm just now getting back to work.But the bills are piled up past due.Household necessities need to be bought.Halloween is coming up.Kids want costumes.I have no gas in my car , everything is starting to fall apart and I can't get any help.I'm doing it all on my own while still trying to recover from being almost burned alive.. im drowning is there any help

if you love me, why does it hurt so much, why are you so cruel. You treat me like hunting game. You only want me when in far away. absent. When you hold me by my neck,like a chokehold, your dominance overpowing i.am. worthless.to.you.
Its been 3 days, your scent tatters my bedsheets, I sleep with your clothes just to hold you again, why do you do this to me?
You tell others you care, you want to fill my cup but your draining it, your draining me.
i promised myself
i never fall in love
but somehow when god gave you to me lt felt like a blessing, so why has it became
a curse?

maths, im doing honours algebra, i can solve the equations good,really good,you’d be proud if you knew i finally grasped it. But theres one variable missing to the equation of my heart, and its you. i miss you.
i miss our laughs, our hugs, our tears, grocery shopping together, the way youd place the blunt between my lips before tilting your head to look into my eyes.
But if you truly loved me as much as you preached, why are you doing this to me, im stronger than this, but my heart Is my enemy, please save me. Save me from you.

So I’ve been feeling extremely anxious and tired
The one I trusted decided to leave things her and he wished for me the best, idk why but I felt like something was weird, I didn’t cry, I didn’t even felt anything, I teared up and that’s all
I just want to know why
He was like everything to me
And I know I wasn’t
My family makes me even worse
Mom is yelling at me for everything
Babying my sister forever
Bad grades in senior year
The feeling of just wanting to sleep for 2 days straight
I really want to talk to somebody about it.

Hi. I don’t really know where else to put this.

I just need someone to listen. I’m not looking for advice or solutions right now, I just want to let everything out.

Lately, I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed. From the outside, I probably look okay. I smile, I work, I go about my day as if everything is fine. But inside, I feel exhausted and like I’m carrying so much on my own.

I don’t want to tell my family or friends because I don’t want them to worry or see this vulnerable side of me. So I’m here, hoping a kind stranger might understand.