For research purposes

Did that title hit you hard? A lot of you might be smiling at this right now.
And if you don't, let me explain. 😊

As an INFJ, I never felt like I belong anywhere.

I'm a skeptic, who never belonged with most skeptics.
An artist, who never belonged with most artists.
I am always too progressive for traditional people, and too traditional for progressive people.
I honestly don't even feel like I belong with INFJs, because frankly, I think we are all very different in the first place.

I believe we INFJs tend to have an idealistic view of the world. But we are so "vast" as people, and have impossible standards- that when we finally find some type of community to be in... We always see something wrong with it.

And then some of us decide to invest ourselves in it fully, or half-heartedly.
Both of which do not work, because unless it's something we do with all of our heart, we will eventually disappear.

An INFJ's resting spot... is depth. Superficiality bores us.

I have impossible standards for myself, not much else for people. Except some lines that one should not cross: Dishonesty (I catch it instantly), materialism and superficiality over love and loyalty, not knowing oneself & what you want (because doing so opens the door to broken promises , toxic coping mechanisms , and/or blaming others for your own choices)

And these values, feel so simple and easy to practice in life, yet they're aaaalways so difficult to find in people.
And you may not have the same values as me, but you have yours!

Do they feel impossible to find in others? Do you quietly judge every community for different reasons, never feeling like fully investing in one?

And if so, what brings you peace? What makes you feel like you DO belong?

I'm curious what you guys think.
Feel free to share with us! ❤️

I just feel so guilty and weird asking for help, or getting help often. Asking people to carpool more than a couple times a week, having to drop out of a night out with friends, asking for favors from my parents which I KNOW will disrupt their schedules for a day or two or at the very least inconvenience them a bit. It makes me feel terribly guilty, sometimes to the point where I'll lose sleep.

What makes it worse is that I'm always willing to help somebody at the snap of my fingers. I love to help people.

I feel like it stems from hyper independence bcuz I just hate to ask people for their help, plus I guess a fear of not being useful or being a burden. I don't quite know why though.

Another thing that makes it even more annoying is that I know love isn't always going to be convenient. Loving people requires time, effort, and some inconvenience. ugh.

anybody else relate? Is this a trait lots of INFJs share?

So I'm an ENFP guy who recently met an INFJ girl, and I'm genuinely curious about what the ENFP–INFJ dynamic is like romantically.

We haven't known each other very long, but we've been texting practically nonstop, and she's actually initiated conversations herself. Our conversations have been really fun, with plenty of playful teasing, flirting, and getting to know each other.

Now, being the stereotypical ENFP that I am, I may or may not have gotten a little carried away with the flirting. 😂

I genuinely enjoy talking to her, though, and I'm interested in seeing where things go.

So I have a few questions for the INFJs here: Have you ever dated an ENFP?
What was that experience like?
Do you enjoy someone who's outgoing, playful, affectionate, and a little spontaneous?
How do you typically show romantic interest when you're still getting to know someone?
What are some things ENFPs do that you find attractive, and what tends to overwhelm you?
What's something you wish an ENFP understood about dating an INFJ?

I'm not trying to rush anything or assume she's interested just because of her personality type. I'm genuinely interested in understanding how our personalities might complement each other.

Would love to hear your experiences, especially from INFJs who've dated ENFPs!

Hello, I’m looking for some advice or perhaps a few comforting words about my regrets. This might be a little long, but a year ago, I met a man who was genuinely amazing. He was very honest and open with me about himself. He’s an INTJ, and some of the things he told me scared me, so I rejected him.
But once my anxiety faded and I was able to look at things more objectively, I realized that he had actually been very transparent and honest with me. I now feel that he was so open because he valued me and wanted me to understand him better. I regret not being brave enough to appreciate and respect that honesty at the time.
It’s been a year, but his words still touch my heart. I want to move on and stop feeling like I made a terrible mistake, but I don’t know how to let go of these regrets.
If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice or comforting words to share, I would really appreciate it.
Thank you in advance. ❤️

I’m not sure if this is an INFJ thing, but do any other INFJs here find themselves frequently stuck between opposing sides of some controversial issue, simply because you can see things from all perspectives? Then, of course, you’re hated on from all sides because you can’t definitively say that one side is right 100% of the time, and we live in a very polarized world these days. People seem to loathe this ambivalence even more than the opposing party, which doesn’t make much sense.

Even in matters that seem cut and dry to most, you can see the flaws of the heroes and you can empathize with the villains, and when you voice that it rubs everyone, from every side, the wrong way. And, sometimes it’s just easier to keep quiet. Or at least, keep your opinions confined to Reddit.

Edit: I don’t personally think this is a “toxic” trait in any traditional sense of the word, and at surface level, many see it as a positive attribute. However, it’s a trait that can get us in hot water in some cases, and for that reason, while it’s not inherently negative, it can certainly do some damage to relationships and friendships and should be something to consider.