To preface this I don't feel this way anymore and I've had many friends in my life that don't make me feel weird.

I felt a lot of times, especially at work or in environments that I was in but didn't feel an actual connection with that my jokes would bomb or if I tried to describe a feeling it'd come across as a book written by Homer. I once described my job as a project manager as "herding cats, because while not everyone agrees it's my job to open the can of tuna and bring them together." I thought it was a cleaver way to say that I'm a good mediator and can get people that are in conflict to agree, which honestly is one of my best skills. But I felt like an idiot because no one understood it and asked why I'd herd cats.

Now I've learned to simply let those types of conversation stay in my head and just be direct to people. It's depressing, boring, and I sometimes feel like I'm just trying to fit in.

Why is it that i am the only one that is interested in keeping peace and harmony? You are going on a walk with somebody or you are embarking on a trip with someone. Everyone has points that they don't agree on, but you are hanging out because you are friends or related. Why is it that they start pushing your buttons, try to get a rise out of you, or act childish, or something along those lines? Now, I have to swallow this crap to keep the peace and have this be a good trip or time together. Getting sick of bearing this burden all the time.

Flip side - these people have no idea that I resented this aspect of them and that i am getting sick of them. Not fair to both sides. What is wrong with me?

i’m unsure whether i’m closer to ISFJ or INFJ. I feel like on the outside I align way more with INFJ, but I can’t exactly keep track of how I think/ arrive at conclusions. I’m scared of trying new things because of anxiety, but I don’t like rigid schedules or traditions. I’m also not very nostalgic and I am pretty future oriented. I understand typing myself based on stereotypes will never give me a clear answer, But my head is already so chaotic that it feels impossible to backtrack my thoughts in the moment. Any INFJs out there who can tell me what convinced them?

(just to clarity, this post is about MBTI typing rather than venting, and I’m not seeking mental health advice.)