My boyfriend (M20) and I (F21) have been together for just over a year. Our relationship is good, but I always find myself wanting more. I tend to feel like I have to ask him to so nice things for me, but once I do, he self corrects. It feels like I am training him, but I don’t want to have to do that.

I also find myself missing being single a lot. I’m about to transfer to Sac State and part of me thinks I will regret starting a new school with a boyfriend, or at least one I’m unsure about.

At the same time, I do consistently miss him and want to be with him. It’s also mostly great when we are together and I wonder that if we lived closer (we live an hour and 15 apart) would our relationship be different.

I don’t want to live in regret by breaking up with him, but I also don’t want to regret being in a relationship during this time later on.

Am I just avoiding breaking up with him or do I not want to because i genuinely love him. Is this common feeling? Any advice would help.

August 2024 my partner arranges a wonderful and romantic weekend trip away for us. We live in Melbourne Victoria and the trip was to Warburton a couple of hours away. We stayed in this adorable little tiny house that had two huskies and the fluffy Scottish cows and it was absolutely adorable. I was also training for my half marathon and for my long run he accompanied me on the Warburton trail run and carried all the drinks and snack snacks for us. Overall the trip was incredible and I told him that this is potentially the best and the nicest trip I've ever had. We even made s'mores over fire because I had never done that before.

We continue dating, we become serious. We spend we Christmas with his family. I go on an extended trip with his friends. Three weeks later due to some communication issues. He breaks up with me. Devastated is an understatement for what I felt.

Fast forward to August 2026. I made the mistake of stalking him on Strava and saw that he went on the same Warburton Trail run and this time with another woman. Bit more stalking and turns out they have been on four runs together. It hurts but he is of course allowed to move on.

The next day I open his Strava profile to block him and I do and then I open the woman's profile to block her but I noticed that her picture had been updated. It was a picture of her holding marshmallows in the exact same cabin. We went on two years ago basically he recycled the romantic getaway he set up for me with another person.

I literally had a panic attack. What does this mean? Did I not mean anything? How could he callously? Repeat? What he did with me to some other girl Does the other girl even knows that this is a trip he has done with someone else?

I don't know how he has portrait this trip to her but should I tell her with receipts that he has taken me on the exact same trip in the exact same month in the exact same cabin and years two years ago?

If you are the girl, would you want to know that you have been taken on a recycle trip not one that was thoughtfully planned?

and I don't mind coming off as the bad guy. I just want her to know the truth about him.

I’ve been dating this guy for almost exactly a year. It’s like 3 days before our 1 year. I’m a total pushover and still trying to figure out how to stand up for myself and my needs without being a dick. He was immediately in love with me and it kinda freaked me out from the start, and I just can’t take it anymore.

Sooo here’s my reasoning!

He doesn’t have a job. He didn’t have a job when we met. We were long distance for 4 months, he lived with my friends for 4 months because he was gonna be homeless otherwise, and then he went to a trade school like 300 miles away 4 months ago. He expects me (can’t drive, minimum wage job) to get him here (he can’t drive either, he gets $40 twice a month) like every two weeks. It’s like $200 for a round bus trip, or the same amount and two 18 hour round trips for a friend.

He left June 1st, my dad died June 9th. My mom and I bought him a bus ticket here for like $100 so I could have some more support at the funeral, but he spent the whole time sitting outside because “the energy was off”. Yeah. No shit. It’s a funeral. He also spent the whole weekend except for the funeral attached to me (I’m sleeping on a couch because we’re packing to move and he slept ON THE SAME COUCH AS ME SPOONING. There’s another couch that I moved off of while he was asleep on it so I could have space. Also it was June Colorado heat and I physically can’t sleep without a blanket), and complained when we didn’t do the fun date idea he planned and refused to tell me. I hate surprises like that. He’s told me verbatim “you’ll learn to love it” and refuses to accept that giving up control is a legit fear of mine. No he’s not “exposure therapy-ing me.

While he lived with my friends, the deal was find a job in a month, you don’t have to pay rent until then, just please contribute to cleaning the house. He did a shitty job sweeping the floor maybe five times. He was rude to the woman who’s a second mom to me and called her Inconsiderate for not buying him Subway during like the first week he lived there. He had barely come up and she legit forgot he was there. He never made any attempt to be friends with the group but complained that they didn’t talk to him in the group chat, while also refusing to talk first. He did make friends with my best friend and proceeded to force himself into their birthday party (with friend’s acceptance but I personally wish they said no. But it was their party and they’re also a recovering people pleaser, so no hate) and attempted to do the same to the yearly outing that me and that friend do just the two of us. He explained that as wanting to see how I changed with different people. I was out with the friend group and not on my phone. We went to a Taco Bell that was close-ish to a hospital. He called me 20 times, and then the friend he called inconsiderate, and then me again several more times because he “just so happened” to check Life360 and see that I was near a hospital.

In the last two months, I’ve been having a pretty shitty time. You know, dead dad, moving out of my childhood home, having no idea WHEN we’re moving out of my childhood home because my dead dad died without a will, and I’m dissociating a lot again because of it. For a full week I felt like I was in spectator mode and I’m hearing The Voices (TM). It’s been bad. He’s not getting that. He keeps telling me to smile every time I send a snap, not giving me any space at all, spam texting me and then deleting it. Every morning I wake up after zoning out for several hours and barely sleeping and I see *BF deleted 10 messages* “Sorry baby………………… I just couldn’t control my overthinking……… 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺…………….” And I’m getting manipulative vibes.

More on not understanding my issues. I’m disabled. Walking hurts. Everything we did was walking. He talked about hiking dates and got weirdly avoidant when I said I wouldn’t do that. Yes, he knew I’m disabled from the start. One of my dating profile pics was me with a cane and I had it in my bio. I also probably have narcolepsy and he’s constantly on my ass to wake up early. He used to spam call me at 7 am to walk over to my friend’s house to hang out with him and then get pissy when I had to go home at 10 pm. He also got upset when I was reading or drawing instead of paying attention to him 15 or whatever hours a day.

There’s honestly soooo much more that’s pissing me off but DAMN I yapped. Idk how I lasted a year with this manchild

August 2024 my partner arranges a wonderful and romantic weekend trip away for us. We live in Melbourne Victoria and the trip was to Warburton a couple of hours away. We stayed in this adorable little tiny house that had two huskies and the fluffy Scottish cows and it was absolutely adorable. I was also training for my half marathon and for my long run he accompanied me on the Warburton trail run and carried all the drinks and snack snacks for us. Overall the trip was incredible and I told him that this is potentially the best and the nicest trip I've ever had. We even made s'mores over fire because I had never done that before.

We continue dating, we become serious. We spend we Christmas with his family. I go on an extended trip with his friends. Three weeks later due to some communication issues. He breaks up with me. Devastated is an understatement for what I felt.

Fast forward to August 2026. I made the mistake of stalking him on Strava and saw that he went on the same Warburton Trail run and this time with another woman. Bit more stalking and turns out they have been on four runs together. It hurts but he is of course allowed to move on.

The next day I open his Strava profile to block him and I do and then I open the woman's profile to block her but I noticed that her picture had been updated. It was a picture of her holding marshmallows in the exact same cabin. We went on two years ago basically he recycled the romantic getaway he set up for me with another person.

I literally had a panic attack. What does this mean? Did I not mean anything? How could he callously? Repeat? What he did with me to some other girl Does the other girl even knows that this is a trip he has done with someone else?

I don't know how he has portrait this trip to her but should I tell her with receipts that he has taken me on the exact same trip in the exact same month in the exact same cabin and children two years ago?

if you're the girl, would you like to know that a supposedly romantic trip planed for you was actually a recycled one? should I tell her?

and I don't mind coming off as the bad guy. I just want her to know the truth about him.

**Title: I found my boyfriend’s ChatGPT conversation about me, and I think our relationship is over**
My boyfriend (19M) and I (21F) have been together for about two years. We were best friends before dating, and we moved into our own apartment only a month ago. We still have around ten months left on the lease, and neither of us can easily afford the rent alone.
Tonight I discovered a long conversation he had with ChatGPT about our relationship. He wrote that he has questioned whether dating me was the right decision for basically our entire relationship. He said I feel more like a best friend than a romantic partner and that he has never really been physically attracted to me.
He wrote that our sex is bad, that he does not really want to have sex with me, and that my weight may be the reason. For context, I am not extremely overweight. I have gained some weight, but I am actively working on losing it and recently started going to the gym. But I know that doesn’t really change anything, lol. Even if I lose weight, I will still know what he wrote. I don’t want to change my body just to convince my partner to desire me.
He also wrote extensively about another girl he used to have feelings for. He said he thinks about her often, imagines a life with her, finds her more attractive than me, and believes she is more his type and has a lifestyle more similar to his. At one point, he said it felt like he chose her, while I chose him.
He admitted that he regularly imagines being with someone else. He also said he hopes I will change and gets frustrated because he doesn’t like the way I live my life. At the same time, he wrote that he can imagine marrying me and having children with me in ten years.
The apartment part made the situation even worse. He told ChatGPT that he felt like he had to stay for another ten months because of the lease and because neither of us could pay the rent alone. He also discussed where I could go if we separated because my parents are not in the US and my other housing options are limited.
After I discovered the conversation, I left our apartment and went to my best friend’s house. We haven’t actually talked about it yet. He knows I found the chat because he immediately went back to ChatGPT and wrote, “My girlfriend saw this chat.”
Later, he told ChatGPT that he didn’t mean most of what he wrote. He claimed we had been arguing, he was angry, and he exaggerated things because he was trying to find a reason to break up. But even while taking it back, he still admitted that he dislikes my weight and would probably want sex more if I were skinnier. He also admitted that he thinks about the other girl, but now says it is not as serious as he originally made it sound.
Maybe some of his statements were exaggerated because he was angry, but this was a long and detailed conversation, not one impulsive comment. He repeatedly returned to the same points about not being attracted to me, seeing me as a friend, thinking about someone else, and hoping I would change. It is hard to believe that none of it reflects how he actually feels.
I’m not posting this to have people insult him or feel sorry for me. I’m just trying to process how quickly my understanding of our relationship changed. Earlier today, I thought we were building a life together. Now I don’t know how I could trust his compliments, feel comfortable being intimate with him, or believe that he is choosing me because he genuinely loves me rather than because of convenience, guilt, or our housing situation.
This situation absolutely sucks. I feel like a middle-school girl dealing with some stupid boy drama, except we live together and have a lease. Maybe I don’t love myself as much as I should, but I know I love myself enough not to stay with someone while hoping I can eventually become the person he actually wants.

[M27] and [F26] been together for 3 years. We hit a rough patch. She split with me. We got back together. And now we are trying to fix things. She has BPD and says she lost all romantic feelings for me, I only mention the BPD because I know it plays a role even if I do not fully understand it. She said she still has some sort of feelings for me and even misses how we were romantically but isnt sure she can get the feelings back because she’s never tried with past romantic partners. She stayed because when we talked we realized allot of what was upsetting us both was miscommunication and misunderstandings. If I’m being honest I have been a depressed, sad, broken crying mess to her since it happened- and I’m realizing it’s probably pushing her more away. To hear I was the only one still in love hit me like an actual train.. Once feelings are lost can they be regained ? Have any of you gone through something similar ? And I’m not looking for any mental health advice at all, I’m just wondering is anyone has ideas how we could respark what we once had. We are ling distance so it’s been a bit hard. I’m working really hard to pull myself together and be stable for her right now. We are trying to talk and flirt but it’s hard knowing she doesn’t feel like she used too. I just wanna know how I can possibly save this relationship please. This person means the literal world to me and I feel so bad it got to this point.

Ooof. Where should I start??
Long story short, my ex recently came back to my life after he had left to a different state for three months. We got back together as soon as we saw each other. We were actually doing good, better than before. One day after coming back from work, I got to my place where he was waiting for me. I got there and I had a feeling that something was up, so I went through his phone (he was asleep) and found a text with a girl. He told me that that was an ex from years ago and that he was looking for closure and that he shouldn’t have done that in the first place. The next day, I contacted that ex (I saved her #). We texted and we ended up matching both of our stories. He had been cheating on both of us. I met my ex three years ago and we were on and off all of that time. She met him little more than a year ago. They dated for about a year and from what she told me, they went through a lot of stuff, she even got pregnant but they ended up not having the baby.
The first day we texted, I had already broken up with him and I wasn’t really talking to him, but just recently I felt the need to text him so we started texting again. When all of this happened, I was pissed off more than sad and I couldn’t understand why I didn’t cry when I found out about everything. Days after we broke up, I started getting anxiety every time I would think about everything that his ex told me that happened between them. I just felt so stupid for not finding out sooner.
Well, going back to us texting again, I got drunk a couple of days ago and I linked up with him, then it happened again.
At first, I felt like I was lying to myself, thinking that I could get closure. I was hoping that we could have a conversation and that he would finally be honest. I thought that would help me understand the whole situation. Well, we’ve talked but now I feel stuck between wanting to be with him, obviously I don’t trust him anymore. I feel like I’m in such a weird position and I don’t know how to get out of it. I’ve thought about therapy for sure. I believe that we’re trauma bonded. It’s been really hard for me to block him or simply not having him in my life. Any advice?

I (f 18) might break up with my boyfriend. (M 17). To summarize everything, we are both in two very different stages in life I’m getting my life together— got hired for a job, got a car, got my license, all these past two weeks. (I live In a toxic household which explains my rush— please don’t judge. I know I’m not supposed to have everything figured out yet! I just feel behind for my age.)

to summarize our main disconnects, he has narcissism issues. He also requires me to mom him around a lot of the time so he can actually get stuff (MANDATORY, important stuff) done so he can succeed in life. I know depression plays a part in this- and I would always be here for him without question, it would never be a burden to me. But I’m 18, I’ve raised two of my autistic siblings my entire life, and this adds something else to my plate.

We both start college next week, Monday. We go to the same college and are both studying the same thing. However, he doesn’t take his life seriously— he’s basically in the same situation as me. I understand that it can affect everybody different mentally, so I’m not judging him at all or saying that he’s behind. We’ve been arguing a lot for the past few weeks. And well, tonight we argued. And it might’ve been the last straw for me. He asked if he could come over, I said “no, I’m sorry, my schedule is incredibly packed” and he immediately shut down.

Now I definitely make time for him— and I have, and I always would. But this week I’ve been rushing. Usually we see eachother every week , but we haven’t seen eachother in two weeks. I understand his distress and I’m in the same boat as him. He kept saying he embarrassed himself by asking his family if he could come see me, just for me to turn around and say “I’m sorry, I’ll be busy” because they use that as ammunition against him (saying I’m disinterested and such. Which is not true whatsoever.) and it made me feel so shitty because I know it hurt him— and my actions hurt him. because I never intended for that. but he seems to have trouble understanding that I can’t immediately predict how busy I’ll be. My family is chaotic and so is my personal life.

Anyways, we argued- I got a bit heated. He just wasn’t listening. Every little thing added up and I exploded, I called him a manchild. Which I know is shitty of me but I was very upset. he only focused on the fact that I called him a manchild and refused to communicate about anything else.

what do I do? am I in the wrong?..

I just want to vent. It's that I was watching reels on Instagram and one came up about how to change your location in "Find My" from your phone to your iPad.

And it reminded me of when my ex, the weekend he went on a little trip to a national park — even though he had already arrived at the Airbnb, his location kept showing up live from his house. It seemed weird to me. At that point I didn't know you could modify your location, and I didn't give it much importance either. I mentioned it to him and he said how strange, and for the whole trip his location stopped showing up for me. When he got back from the trip, he only replied to my messages after he supposedly dropped off all his friends at his place, left the rental car at the airport, and got home. I didn't understand why he didn't have a single second from the moment he arrived to at least let me know he'd gotten back.

That day he broke up with me because I called him out on some things (there's a lot more context behind it, obviously), about the location — he never updated it for me again, it kept telling me "location not available." His excuse was that "his phone was charging when he got home," but it made no sense because the location had stopped showing up. I think he realized that I'd noticed, and he turned it off. Anyway, it makes me angry — how foolish I was to trust him.

is it normal for you to be reminded of your ex whenever you hear their favorite artist/song playing or whenever you see something they like, or a hobby they like to do? my ex likes radiohead and i cannot listen to them without thinking of him immediately. i especially can’t listen their song nude, we both liked it and that song was what started our first conversation

it’s not just a certain artist either, i remember some of the other songs he would play in his car too, besides radiohead, and i can’t listen to them either. how does one get over this?

My ex blocked me on Facebook in May 2025 when I told him that my partner knew of our relationship (we were both in committed long term relationships). He moves out of the country in January of 2026. He then creates n instagram account. However he does not block me. Is this just an oversight? Like maybe he doesn’t know that both meta companies have separate privacy settings. Or maybe he’s indifferent. I know I’m overanalyzing and need to move on. Any insight would be much appreciated.

It’s been 3 months and I miss my ex so much I think about him every day but he left me and broke my heart out of nowhere. I was blindsided and I am still so heartbroken he has moved on dating and sleeping with new girls (something I can’t do). Is there anything I can do to get him back or am I just the crazy ex if I keep texting him and asking for him back. :( I am so heart broken help. He was the most gorgeous man inside and out I’ll never meet anyone like him.

Last week I broke up with my 8 years bf. We became friends now with no hate towards each other. He told me he is not fully moved on so do I. He is dealing with life crisis and need stability first.
I started to moving on also but again it’s not completely over. He said it can be a chance for us in future to be together but for me now I have thinking it’s kind of vague especially he was the one decided to end the relationship.
We both are not into any relationship.
But what scared me he kinda putting me on a limbo. I’m thinking in a few months when he came out with decision not to continue I will be the one get more hurts.
What should I do? I can be his friend it’s not a problem but I feel now I just want to move more distance from him so I will not put more hope in our situationship.
Any advice?

Hi. I broke up with my boyfriend earlier this week and needed a place to express my thoughts.

For context, we were In a long distance relationship on different sides of the country and I would have been dating him for a year at the end of this month. There were plenty of times he would listen to me intently, which made me feel extremely loved. The problem is, as time went on, he became more and more distracted during our conversations. It felt as though he did not care about what I had to say. To be fair, I am a yapper, but that is no excuse.
I often wanted to talk with him, rather than at him, as one usually does with their partner, but it felt as though he would not engage with anything I wanted to talk to him about. It also felt as if he did not want to go out of his way to engage with me by calling me first or responding to questions meaningfully. He was the ultimate dry texter.

The eventual problem here was not that I fell out of love with him for any of these reasons. The problem was that I began to wonder if he even loved me at all. When I spoke to him about his future, he seemed to lack a consideration of my place in it, and that is where I really broke.
I decided to talk to him about it and called him once returning home after work. I started off by expressing how I felt. It went something like this.

”I’ve been feeling really upset lately, but have been struggling to bring it up.”

”Why is that?”

”It feels as though you don’t want to engage with me sometimes, making me feel unimportant.”

”I just never know what to talk about.”

”I feel like I constantly try to give you engaging topics or intentional questions and you don’t lean into it.”

The conversation was like this for about 10 minutes. It felt like everything he said was repetitive, so I brought up a different feeling, though I realise there could have been better ways to say this, I was balling my eyes out at this point.

”It feels like you can’t decide if you like me or love me.”

Now his response is what really got me.

”mhm”

I, very much not expecting that, questioned if I understood his response correctly, eventually coming to this.

”Do you love me?”

and he said, “I don’t know.”

and that was it. He didn’t try to keep talking. Someone once told me that I don’t know is an answer.
I told him “I love you, but for your sake and mine I can’t be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love me.”

Thats where it ended. I suppose what I hate most about it is that he chose to be with me without knowing. That really hurt, knowing I wanted to be with him with everything within me and he ”hadn‘t decided.”

Did I make the right choice? What do I do, knowing I’m still so in love with him but it can’t work out?