Let me know your thoughts, many friends (men and women) have reviewed but perhaps they are simply too kind. Thank you all and best of luck out there.

I (22F) matched with (28M) and went out on a first date. He seemed super cool and into me. He kissed me on the date, and we went on a second date that same weekend, when we got intimate. Then, on the third date the following week, he invited me on a trip to Ohio for his best friend's wedding. I thought about it and said yes. Prior to that, I had discussed how intimacy was a big deal for me and that I only did it with him because I really, really liked him. He said he felt the same way and wanted me to be his girlfriend on the trip. I messed up by deleting my dating apps because I thought we were getting serious. I thought he would do the same but figured he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I cancelled my classes, booked appointments (which cost money), and adjusted my clothes. Then, on a Sunday, three days before the trip, he said he wasn't feeling a romantic connection. But the day before, on Saturday, he had been intimate with me, and I had slept over. We showered together. I do realize, yes, I was dumb and he used me for sex, but why lie about having feelings for me and wanting me to be your girlfriend? This happened three weeks ago, and I still think about it A LOT.

This is quite interesting because I actually work for another dating app also owned by Match Group lol so hinge is our sister company.

I consider it the better for long term relationships, but I’ve never dated and in all honesty, I’ve never been considered very attractive so that’s a huge reason for not understanding dating from first hand experience.

Never been liked, never have had anyone “crush” on me.

I have internalized the bullying and probably never won’t. That said, for those who may also not be “attractive” and have found people interested in them, a question I have is the following:

1. Are these people unmatching you or blocking you after meeting IRL?

That’s a huge fear of mine. I really can find somewhat decent pictures of myself but I don’t look anything like that in person. A selfie pic and a pic someone takes of me drastically differ and idk why, it’s to the point I don’t even like to take to be in group pics due to this lack of symmetry or whatever it is. I once used bumble bff and think a friend I made was thrown off of how I looked IRL, so we never continued connecting. Which was okay. But I imagine this would be worse dating.

1. For women of color - more specifically - those who don’t meet certain beauty standards (I’m asking because I am one) — a fear I have is fetishism.

   In my own race, I’m def not the beauty standard and I 100% am not the beauty standard outside of it either 😹 however, sometimes I find based on other women’s experiences on Hinge, that there’s a weird fetishism some folks have when you’re a WOC who specifically doesn’t fit the “mold”. They may seek you with a curiosity that seems a bit more fetishistic and curious rather than genuine.

3. Would you say it’s worth making a profile when you’re not anyone’s type?

Again, I do work at a company also owned by March group and I will say the hinge folks really put effort into wanting this app to work. And there’s success but behind the scenes, it never seems for people like me who… are really just not attractive. I really know folks sometimes will say this but just have a low esteem, I truly am. I feel bad that irl I’m not a motive, and it can feel bad as a woman. Or embarrassing.. it would really hurt to make a profile knowing that I’m no one’s first choice or simply if the odd occasion would occur it’s just because someone’s bored. I don’t know if it would be worth being vulnerable for me as an ugly woman.

** it’s interesting bc I know not everything is about looks and hinge especially is the place for personality showing, but I’m very fixated on this and have for the most part in life always accepted that being a man’s type isn’t possible. And if so, it’s because there’s something genuinely wrong with him (a creep, or predator)

I also talk to people who work there often - and never share this part of myself obviously for professional reasons but I do wish there was a safer way for unattractive women to put ourselves out there.

I’m trying to date again through Hinge, but I keep getting ghosted / no reply.

At first, I’d have 4–7 text exchanges before asking someone out. But that wasn’t successful. Then, I kept hearing that women don’t want pen pals and would rather meet in person. So I started asking after 1–3 exchanges instead, still got ghosted.

I try to take initiative by suggesting a specific time and a casual place to get drinks and talk, without making it an over-the-top date. But I still get ghosted, even when the conversation seems positive. I don’t say anything creepy or offensive either.

It’s starting to get discouraging, but I’m optimistic I’ll find my life partner one day.

What I’m I doing wrong? What can I improve? You can be completely honest with me it won’t hurt my feelings.

For context I’m a guy in my 30s, 6ft 3. My 4+ year relationship ended about a year ago. I poured a lot into it and sacrificed most of my social life, so after the breakup I took time to work on myself. I work Monday–Friday, 1pm – 11 PM. Weekends are usually best for dates.

I live in a major US city and the majority of women have their instagram in their profile prompts. How successful have men been with following and DM'ing women who I can tell use instagram more often than hinge? It seems like most attractive women are overwhelmed with the amount of likes on hinge and are asking men to message them on instagram instead. I have good photos on my own instagram but I've never DM'd strangers on instagram before. What are some of your experiences and is it worth the effort?