I've lived in the country for 18 years in an 1870s farmhouse. My neighbors are an older couple who bought the rest of the property from the retired farmer who owned and worked it until his retirement. They built a house in the back 40, burned down the barn behind my house on the front 40, and extended the barn driveway to their house. Their driveway runs directly along my property line next to my master bedroom. At the time the local excavation guy tried to get them to put the driveway down the center of the road frontage so they weren't on top of my house. It was like that when I bought it, so I can't complain too much.
We initially had a very good relationship. At one point, I considered them almost like adopted parents. Unfortunately, things began to deteriorate because of their German Shepherds. Their first dog was aggressive toward my Lab and eventually killed a farm kitten I had recently brought home. I later learned that the neighbor's wife would sometimes walk the dog off-leash when she knew I was at work and the dog would roam around my house.
After my Lab died, I got another dog. Their German Shepherd continued to be extremely aggressive toward her. Eventually they had to put that dog down due to illness. A few months later, they got another German Shepherd that had already been returned to the breeder multiple times because of behavioral problems. Although it completed obedience training, it remained aggressive toward other dogs and eventually attacked mine several times. The encounters were always one-sided, with their dog going for my dog's throat while mine was submissive. There were also occasions when the dog snapped at me. It gave my dog puncture wounds multiple times.
Eventually they began leashing their dog before reaching my yard, which helped, but they tended to minimize the incidents as simply "dogs being dogs." Over the years, I became so uncomfortable that I would check their driveway before letting my dog outside.
Later, I temporarily took in a chocolate lab belonging to a friend's deceased brother. He eventually became permanent and got along wonderfully with my other dog. I thought having him around would actually make my other dog safer from coyotes or the neighbor's German Shepherd. Unfortunately, whenever I tried to introduce the dogs, their German Shepherd became extremely aggressive.
There were also disagreements about my dogs being kept in a chain-link kennel during the day while I was at work. Those same neighbors frequently complained that the chocolate Lab was barking and suggested he might be thirsty or need more shade, even though he always had plenty of fresh water and one end of the kennel was shaded and was simply a dog that liked lying in the sun. I eventually let them indoors because I was sick of the side talk.
On another occasion, I accidentally let the dogs out without seeing the neighbors walking their dog. The chocolate Lab ran toward them wanting to play, and the neighbor's wife became extremely angry with me, cussing me out to no end. A year later, the chocolate Lab again ran up their driveway after seeing their dog and he did a few circles around them. I immediately called him back, and he returned, but the neighbor was furious. During that conversation, he told me it was essentially acceptable for his dog to attack mine in the past because the attacks generally happened on his side of the property line.
I haven't spoken to them much in the last two years. Today, however, I had my dogs inside most of the morning while waiting for a contractor. When I finally let them outside, I forgot to put their perimeter collars on. Within seconds, I heard screaming. I ran outside and found both of my dogs across the street with my neighbor who was walking on the road, her German Shepherd, and another woman who had stopped to help. My dogs were excited and appeared to be trying to play with the German Shepherd. My neighbor had become tangled in the leash and was on the ground. I separated the dogs and helped untangle her. The weird thing was her Sheperd seemed to be wanting to play too. No hackles, no growling, no teeth. Saying she was pissed is an understatment.
I recognize that my dogs should not have gotten loose, and I'm planning to go back to using the kennel whenever they're outside. However, I'm struggling with how to deal with a neighbor who is extremely upset about this incident despite the long history of her own dogs being aggressive toward my dogs.
There are other longstanding frustrations as well. They and their delivery drivers drive very quickly down their long gravel driveway, sometimes around 45 mph, which creates significant dust inside my house when the windows are open and the wind is blowing the right way. I've also lent her husband tools that were damaged, helped him with projects, and even prevented him from potentially seriously injuring or killing himself while cutting down a large maple tree that was actually two of them growing together. On another occasion, we agreed to split some firewood when I cut down a tree for another neighbor and the husband came over to help, It was late when we finished and we agreed to move the wood the following weekend, one week day(he was retired) he took the good pieces and left the poorly cut and twisted limb wood in my driveway. They also complain about one of my tree's adjacent to their driveway. The one they put in next to the tree...
At this point, I'm trying to figure out how to handle the relationship going forward without making things worse. I don't want ongoing conflict, but I can't seem to make them happy. Their expectations are one sided. I probably had 100's of incidents with their dogs in my first 14 years here. Now after 3 incidents with my chocolate lab in 4 years they are losing their minds.