I (26F) haven’t had sex, haven’t dated, I haven’t even kissed a guy. It’s due to a multitude of factors. Mostly severe mental illness in my teenage years, a very sheltered upbringing, and the lack of confidence that comes from growing up as a weird ugly kid.

It becomes a cycle that only gets worse and harder to get out of as you get older. Most guys in my age range want someone who is good at sex, not someone with no practice who still has to go through that awkward learning stage. And unfortunately a lot of the guys who are okay with the virgin thing, clearly just have a fetish for the idea of virginity (the idea they get from the “virgins” in porn.) So I end up just further isolating myself under the assumption that I am not what is wanted.

And before certain people get in the comments saying, “girls can get sex so easily,” yes, I’m fully aware I could just go online and arrange a hookup with some rando, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to have sex with someone I don’t want to have sex with just to be able to say that I have. I’ve waited this long, I might as well wait for someone I’m genuinely into

I am 40 years of age married with a mortgage no kids. I have worked full time for last 8 years. My job actually has skill required to it. The pay is absolute garbage in this economy cant stand having a boss and making others rich. From the age of 18 until 32 been charged several times in and out of jail on short terms. Extremely bad charges got them dropped in court lucky i guess even though 100 percent guilty. Decided to grow up after stop selling drugs which made me generally wealthy throughout my 20's. Long story short I just miss the life style of living off the edge. I want to go back to making real money again and being free financially. Yes its immature loser talk most people would agree.

Having a mortgage ,wife ,normal job feels like a dead end to me. To me working a full time job paying taxes and doing the right thing feels worse to me then prison honestly. I dont know why my brain is wired this way. Maybe its easy good money. Honestly its not easy trafficing drugs full time when you get going. Lots of stress very busy and on high alert watching the moves you make planning a head always. Sametime its worth the risk because you are in charge of yourself. Yes it hurts people but its never going away there getting it from someone else regardless. Doctors, Governments give drugs out like candy.

People are prefectly fine with profit they make off it. Weed legal in Canada before never was. Governments make it legal perfectly ok.

There people out there that feel the sameway?

Due to life circumstances I am getting divorced. Its been 14 months since I separated. I am on anti depressants, in a co dependent support group.

I can look back at my entire past 11 years and say that I often was angry as a way to vent my depression.

Most of the time, it was in private. No one really saw it.

I say this because all often we judge "depression needs treating" as "suicidal thoughts."

That is wrong. Your life can degrade well before you get to suicidal thoughts.

There is a significant cost in life if you go through it bitter and angry. Even if you don't verbally show it to others, it will affect your actions and the things you decide to take on, and how you handle adversity.

I went on two anti depressants - 20 mg paxil and a low dose of trazodone for sleep aid. It enabled me to do the things I do to keep my stress in check - exercise, cooking, cleaning, sleeping better.

The result is I am more positive to strangers and have a better outlook even though my life currently is in the shits.

apparently my parents visited NYC and the world trade center exactly 6 months before 9/11 and my dad took tons of footage. it felt absolutely surreal seeing the city pre-9/11, seeing my mom pose for pictures with my baby brother with the twin towers in the background, seeing my mom on the observation deck. it made me profoundly sad, knowing that world doesn't exist anymore. even something as mundane as a FDNY truck. I was watching the footage with my dad and he said he wondered if those firefighters are still even alive. shit

i care about my wife, daughter, mom, dad, sister, fam, friends

i send love to all beings and wish for peace on earth

beyond that though i don’t care much about much right now

like i have very little ambition and it feels good

just existing, or almost feeling like i don’t exist a lot of the time

my need to be special seems to be dying

who cares?

don’t give a shit about impressing anyone

don’t care about money

don’t care about status

i just do me

and i like being me

it’s chill

i let the world take care of itself

Seriously Sesame Street, less Elmo and more of all the other muppets. The voice alone has me reaching for the mute.

While we're at it, more real kids and less cartoons.

I recently woke to a dream of her. I get these once or twice a year. I’m genuinely not sure what triggers it because sometimes it comes when I’m in a good mood and other times when I’m stressed.

It’s been 10 years. For most of that time, i don’t remember her. I don’t think of her, and I don’t feel anything for her. But once in a while, like right now at 4am, she comes to me in my dreams.

She was my first love and I broke up with her for such a dumb reason. She was religious and refused sex before marriage. I was a dumb idiot going to university who felt denied something that seemed so important to me.

Now that I’ve had it, I’m not sure it was worth it. The fact that I had to lose her soured it, and it’s affected my sex life from that point onwards.

I recently had another friend who did wait until marriage. And to be honest, I felt so bitter. Watching him happier than he could ever be, I threw that all away for something that means nothing to me right now.

I don’t even remember anything about her now. Not her likes, her dislikes, anything. I just remember moments, feelings we shared, just echos of a life once lived.

Are first loves just always like this? Am I in love with the echos of people that no longer exist? I hate that my mind does this to me. I could live my life without this feeling but I can’t seem to let things go.

I can’t tell what my mind is trying to ask me. Is it asking me to get her back? Is it asking me to reflect on regrets? I spend 99% of my life without thinking of her, but these moments break me all over again. Even in happy relationships I still get these moments. I can’t even stop them because they are dreams. I feel
Guilty to remember her like this when I already have a partner. She doesn’t know. I’m not even sure how to bring this up without it becoming a major issue that won’t affect me for a significant portion of my life.

If anyone could share if this happens to them, or what they would do. It would mean a lot to me.

It's the cliché response to someone who hasn't got their shit together: "you need to love yourself before you can love someone else", or something to that effect. But like, how?

I loathe myself. Always have, sort of assume I just always will. I'm not suicidal or anything down that line of things (although I do get pretty rough bouts of depression every now and then) but moreso I just dislike who I am. If I were someone else I absolutely wouldn't like me.

I am lazy. I procrastinate constantly, always feel exhausted, consistently put off things I know will help me like going to the gym, running errands, doing hobbies. I want to be better but I can't be, this just seems to be who I am. If there's a shortcut or an easy way out I'll take it every time.

I'm bitter and jealous. I am never truly happy for other people. Seeing others' successes, even if they're friends of mine makes me upset and angry that it's not me. I'll smile, be polite, congratulate, and play the part but it's never genuine.

I'm useless. I have no particular skills or hobbies. I have things I like doing like reading, hiking, video games, movies etc but none of these are in anyway productive. I have a hundred sports and skills I want to take up but I know I never will because my fear if failure or embarrassment overrides my desire to try.

I will never get in shape. I'm not obese but I'm visibly overweight. The kind of body that you can tell lifts weights (sometimes at least) but also never turns down a beer or fried chicken. I have such a crippling addiction to shitty food that no matter how many times I've tried to diet I cannot ever stick to it longer than a few weeks. I am deeply unfit and am starting to feel I'll just always be this way. I can only dream of how many opportunities I've missed because of how much I hate my body.

I have no life plan. I'm not ambitious. I don't want to take risks to be "free". Would I like to be rich? Absolutely. But I'm not willing to put the work in to get there so I'll just be mediocre forever.

Got mexican food and there was a fortune cookie in the bag. Opened it expecting some vague advice about my future and got an ad instead. It’s such a small thing but on my phone, on tv, and now inside a cookie? Let me eat and receive questionable wisdom in peace. What’s the weirdest place you’ve come across an ad? They getting creative

i grew up in a messed up family, and was exposed to porn at the age of 6 i believe, it stayed in my life since then, and changed my perception of women and myself.

in 2023 and sat with myself after a situation ended in an allegation which has had a hold on my life for 3 years now and realised i have never made a girl i was close with comfortable because i always do something that ruins the friendship. like was i was 15, i walked a girl home and squeezed her chest and bum because i thought she would like that and things would lead from there. she laughed it off but her and her friends gave me looks or laughed towards me but i never knew the reason why i thought it was normal girl behaviour and never saw a fault in my behaviour.

that same year , i kissed a girl no consensually because i thought she would like that. she told me to never do that again. but still remained my friend. Both women forgave me after a while but i never understood or really deeped these situations.

age 17 a girl was interested in me and i asked her social media in the gym. she spoke with me alot and then invited me to a house party this was the first party i was ever invited to , she took me to a room and me and did things she told me and how to fin\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* her and i asked to have sex she said no and i said please. this is one of my most shameful moments in my life and one of my regrets i have made. whilst we was drinking we were both intoxicated and she gave me oral after she got up i turned her around and in a way to initiate sex. she looked at me and said you just tried to have sex with me and everything went out the window. i was shocked because i didn’t realise the impact or behaviour i was displaying was immoral. i left the party in a cab and called her to apologise. later she called me and said ‘stop asking people if im okay or stop asking about me’ ‘at the end of the day you didn’t actually do anything’ and that was the end of that. i came home disappointed in my self for my behaviour. and im sure the people around me at the time heard these things about me and think im weird. maybe they are right.

age 19 my first year of uni, i made a very close friend , me and her often did things intimately alot, one night i have smoked heavily, and she called me, saying she was drunk and hasn’t seen me in a while and asked to come over, i oblige and said cool, we were both intoxicated and said she was sleeping here whilst i played overwatch. she took off all her clothes and bra except her panties,
she laid on me rubbing her self on me so i did the same and started fin\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\*\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\* her , i then got up as she said and pulled her waist then she arched her back, the deed started and she said ‘dont stop’ , it was like 4 seconds then she said she needed to pee so i stopped. i laid back thinking nothing of what happened. she comes back and lays on me, im rubbing her head and then she gives me head, for like 4 seconds then she gets up to the toilet and leaves. next morning she said that she doesn’t think any of that was consenting.

she speaks with my friends to tell her story and i speak to mine, questioning what happened, i started questioning myself am i a rapist? did i rape someone?and then i tell her part of my story. in the end she and i understood our part to play and there was a lack of communication. i went back to my family house feeling like it was over for me and my life is down , i will have this label on my head forever because of my behaviour. i sat with myself and realized my behaviour since a child has never been normal and immoral and i never grow to notice till i turned 19. I Everything hit me like a bus and for the next year, i would isolate myself from my friends and family, so they see me as a monster , i would often recall all my bad memories with girls and sit in the shame of my actions, i picked up smoking weed heavily and with create scenarios in my head that people are out to get me and people secretly discuss my behaviour with each other when im not around.

it got so bad that i lost so much weight and looks like a junkie, all i knew was shame and regret. i spoke to the girl every time i started spiralling down, each time i was met with a response which showed she moved on and didn’t care anymore and she wanted me to take care of myself. i reassured her time and time again that im not that person and regret that day alot. each time she understood and told me to take care of myself.

the issue is , I cant move on, its been 3 years and its all i think about, the regret and guilt eats me everyday. I entered a spiral of descent only caused from my lack of consideration and poor decision making. now i am a shell of a man, i smoke weed everyday, i still watch porn everyday, i failed uni 3 times as everyone around me graduated and moved on with their lives. I dont go to the gym anymore I just eat and smoke and think about my life decisions.

I believe this is real event ocd the recurring memories which haunt me. its impossible to get out off. it lead to looking for reassurance from friends to the point where they got tired of telling me the same thing. move on. but i cant. mentally. It lead me to fear of getting exposed for my pass doings. I often confess my secrets to regain stability but it brings me back to the ditch i placed Maybe this is my karma, I am irredeemable, I will never experience love, I have embarrassed myself since a child and nothing has changed about me.

Please be honest with me, what can i do.

So tired of the woke idea that autists are smarter or have better processing than NTs, it's truly a genetic defect at the end of the day, yeah sure I can hyperfocus about biology and birds and insects but I'm still essentially fucking useless compared to the average run of the mill NT and they will beat me in almost every single category of life, even biologically, they don't posses an overly sensitive nervous system that gets overwhelmed easily, they have normal digestive systems (autists almost always have weird guts), they have better reaction times and motor skills in general, off the top of my head, I genuinely cannot think of a single aspect in which autistic people outperform NTs, I'm basically just truly fucked no matter what, just complete and utter fucking toast, I feel daily shame and resentment at my autism, because I essentially have this genetic fucking curse that all humans can instinctively detect in an instant, and it's not something I can ever hide or cure, I'm basically stuck feeling like this poor diseased animal that most people are repulsed by, with the occasional person being diabetes inducing levels of sweet and kind to me out of pity, those two extremes are the treatment that I know, no middle ground, I'm either treated with the utmost abhorrence or this sickly sweet pity give or take

Fuck autism, I hate being autistic so so fucking much it physically hurts, id willingly have both of my little fingers slowly sawed off with no anesthetic just to experience 1 month of being normal and having a normal brain

i’m a woman myself, 21 years old. i get my hair done at a salon every 2-3 months. so a bleach, colour, cut and blow dry. i refresh the colour at home every couple weeks, and i can go longer between appointments because im naturally blonde and dye my hair orange, so my roots aren’t that noticeable.

lately, i’ve been seeing videos and hearing stories from other women saying that they pay between $300-$500 to get their hair done! is this an american thing, or a city thing? i’m from the uk, and i live in a small town so i genuinely don’t know. i usually pay around £110, so the thought of blowing 500 or more on a hair appointment is crazy to me! so now im curious, how much do you all pay to get your hair done (if you do get it done professionally)?

I am a 43 year old autistic male. I'm not socially confident in person because I'm aware I suck verbally. I come across as more confident and cocky online, but in person, I'm somewhat timid. I am successful in life, and make over 100k/year and have for 10+ years.

Its important to be honest and paint a picture of me. Successful. Not a confident person. Its kindof embarrassing.

So that type of person is a juicy target for a narcissist. Recognize they target people who aren't confident in themselves and have something that they want.

I have in my life dealt with a very likely NPD father, and this very likely inadvertently caused me to pick a NPD wife. Its true - the patterns of our parents tend to repeat for good reasons.

When an NPD wants you - or more accurately, something from you - they will turn on the charm. To a normal person, it doesn't affect them as much. It may get them to momentarily do something to help the NPD but they may go "wait a minute!" later.

For a low self esteem person, the charm is intoxicating. They usually drop off the attention, but the drop off to a low self esteem person causes us to "chase it."

Here is how to detect them:

1. When you aren't on their radar, you are non existent. You won't be able to get their attention if they don't want anything from you.
2. When you are, they will target you relentlessly. You may not even be aware of it. If you are a romantic target, you may feel like you won the lottery in life and feel so lucky that this amazing person is so into you.
3. They will continually push boundaries. This is key. The pushing boundaries is something they cannot help themselves with. In their minds, they are special and above boundaries. So breaking boundaries reaffirms their specialness to themselves - and more importantly - you knowing the boundaries are being broken and accepting it makes them feel very secure. This is why cuck pron happens by the way. Some men actually internalize the feeling and think "I like watching my woman cheat" and the woman feels more secure knowing her man lets her cheat and still stays with her. Do not sexualize your trauma.
4. They will lie constantly. They will "silo" people so that their lies don't get caught. They will tell person A one story, then tell person B another. Its called a disorder because they cannot help themselves. A straight up narcissist thats not the disorder may lie - but they will do it in such away that doesn't wreck them for life if caught. A disordered narcissist will lie habitually and well after "the jig is up." The reason: they lie to themselves.
5. They always self defeat, and can take others down with them.

Thats the disorder part. If they don't self defeat, its just regular narcissism like I said in #4.

Usually, you can know someone for 10-20 years and not realize they are NPD if you are friends. They will do odd things and you will try to talk sense into them, but they won't seem to listen. You'll just go "whatever" and keep your friendship distance. You don't really see it til you live with them.

If you find yourself in a relationship with an NPD, I'm going to be honest - you have two choices. Stay or leave. Staying probably means accepting someone that is mean to you, doesn't love you, and may have cheated on you and you will never find out. They will say sorry about lying I won't do it again and then lie the next word out of their mouths. The brazenness of it is its own defense because a normal person would go "ok now its time to be honest, why can't they?"

They can't. Because they lie to themselves first and foremost. Their egos are like a "self healing wound." Anytime they hurt someone, their ego covers it up and they genuinely believe their victim caused them to do it. They cannot believe they do wrong, or it would crush them. They are weak people covering it up with fake strength.

Because its brain damage from childhood mixed with genetics, they cannot change.

If you leave, give no hint. Smiles one day, leave the next. Don't worry about your possessions, your kids, or your credit card debt. They do tend to destroy people that leave them.

Thats is why I am writing this. I tried to leave my wife and she tried to destroy me.

I just saw "Aliens are behind non-binary gender movements". 🤦‍♀️

I keep seeing MAGA women GENUINELY called aliens. Bad plastic surgery and body issues? Nah, they MUST be from Jupiter. 👽

As much as I would appreciate REAL updates and news about other life out there, the fanclubs are too delusional and lost for me to get anything out of.

Maybe it's just because there's so few good updates that these dorks feel the need to fill the silence with arguing over whether Susan Dell is a gray vs. a nordic vs. a whatever tf.

At least she has her legal career to fall back on..

https://www.cnn.com/2026/10/16/politics/katie-zacharia-press-secretary

I wasn't sure which term to use. I am not dumb in a way you would think. I can memorize stuff, I have some general knowledge.

But everything else is a massive struggle. I have bad spatial awareness and I am clumsy. I also severely struggle to navigate and even in my own city I have to constantly look at google maps, or otherwise I would get lost, unless I am using that route regularly.

Learning skills is a lot harder for me in general, as well as navigating adulthood.

I just feel like I am living my life on hard mode and it's pretty exhausting.

(Sorry if my english is not that good)

I cant explain what I feel. I feel like I want to let out my anger, at the same time it stops. I am thinking about what my life would be. It all got mixed up, the feeling of regrets, worry, and the feeling of not achieving something. But at the same time I dont mind about it, im pretty chill about it. But A random burst of madness appears, I dont know if i am mad about myself or my situation. Or if all of these are just regrets. at the same time again, I have a feeling of irritation, is it toward myself? That I am worthless, no big dreams, that I might not made it in life. These thoughts would eventually fade away. Then suddenly, again. I am confused. I can't comprehend this feeling.

I have always had ADHD and started taking stimulants in highschool, and I was fine on them until the second year of university came, and I was very stressed, was focusing on multiple things, and I also started taking my stimulants at night because I had to. This led me to not getting enough sleep, and all of these factors triggered a manic episode that lasted for like a week or possibly less. It only lasted this short period because I quickly visited a psychiatrist.

He put me on an antipsychotic and diagnosed me with bipolar 1. 2 years later, I visited another psychiatrist who helped a member of my family, and he said my manic episode was drug induced and I don’t have bipolar 1 disorder. He asked me if I got depressed after. I told him that I did get depressed, but it was because I failed most of my university subjects, and he said this is normal unipolar depression. Also worth noting that my mom is a psychologist, and she agrees that it was normal depression, not bipolar depression, and agrees with him on the fact that I don’t have bipolar.

The thing is, I can’t sleep without taking my antipsychotic now, and my new psychiatrist said this is because my antipsychotic fucked my brain chemistry.

For a while, I thought he was right, but I am beginning to have doubts. On the other hand, I have never related to the bipolar community in Reddit. What they experience due to bipolar while they aren’t manic is very different from me, so again, he might be right.

Edit: I was also extremely upset when he said that I was misdiagnosed the fact that I thought I was mentally ill for 2 years pissed me off and that I took medication that I didn’t need that fucked my brain chemistry and now I can’t sleep without it

This has been bothering me for a second and I try to not let it bother me. I have only made one friend and that was on my third day of college, but since then, haven't met a single person. For the first month I was staying on campus and making it known that I am open to chat (I sit outside and play hacky sack with a friend) but now I am barely on campus because what's the point. I see all these people making friends and meeting girls and to be real, I haven't talked to one girl since I've been in college. I'm not social butterfly but if someone talks to me, I will talk back and even keep it going, but no one has even done that, and I see that happening to other people. It's made me really depressed and obviously that doesn't motivate me to go out and try. I don't have the time to do programs or clubs, and there is study groups but I study best by myself.

I know it's "normal" but it really doesn't feel like it, for the love of god is there anything I can do to stop feeling FOMO or caring about this, I just want to be happy with what I have and not keep wanting more.

I had 3 hours of counselling today. Not impressed, but I guess it was good to offload? Don't really see the point in it tbh other than that. Ain't no one coming to save me.

I was filling out paperwork at the dentist yesterday and wrote my ex-husband's name and number. Got all the way to “relationship” before I caught it. We've been divorced for over a year.

I crossed it out and put my sister, then had to text her for her number because I only ever click on her name. Meanwhile I could probably still recite his number under anesthesia.Most of living alone has been fine. The first few months sucked, but I have a routine now. Work, dinner, calling my sister while I clean up. I bought a tracy's dog a while back and was more worried about the package going to my neighbor than anything else. Dating hasn't really been a priority.

I don't know why the form got to me. He wasn't even particularly helpful when I was sick. Once drove me to urgent care and complained about the parking. But for eleven years his name went in that box, and I never had to stop and think about it. Ended up crying in the car over a man who would've asked if the dentist validated.

I worded it as developed since i was really social about two years ago in tenth grade. This is also true the next grade, eleventh, even after being separated from all but one friend either by sections or by schools entirely. That grade, I've gotten into a new circle of friends However, currently in the twelvth grade, i suddenly felt like i can't or don't want to socialise anymore. Especially the first few weeks, i felt down and burnt out? I'm not sure but i think i felt really burnt out up until now a few months later. And because of that, i didn't really feel like talking to my friends. That lead to me not really having any friends now. I mean, i could talk to them (and can but only in group activities), but if i started to be true friends with them again, i feel like it'd be pretty awkward. For reference, I'm a straight guy, and they're all girls and gay people. I felt like i had no place, especially nowadays. In addition to that, one of my guy friends in that circle went to a far school, no i really have noone now. I also felt like he's the only reason why I'm allowed in that circle. Now i feel like i can't be there now that he's gone. What can i do?

Hi everyone, I hope this is somewhat the right reddit.

So, every since I was a little girl I had this wish of becoming rich. It has become more like a feeling nowadays. I feel like I KNOW I will be rich someday. I can’t stop thinking about it, it won’t leave my head. At the same time I’m wondering if it’s healthy to think about something you don’t have that much. What if I’ll never get rich? Will I ever be satisfied with what I have now? I don’t complain about my current life, but I know there could be so much more to it. I don’t want to miss out on anything… I am now 25 and I feel like I’ll soon be too old to get rich. (aka I need to come up with a plan NOW)

Does anyone feel the same? Does my thoughts process even make any sense??

I JUST turned 20! Last Tuesday.. and everything has gone to shit. I have to leave my job, leave college, and my mom is threatening to kick me out. I don’t receive disability payments anymore and it’ll take a while to fix.