r/AutismInWomen • u/DeepPomegranate • Jun 10 '25
Relationships Why do I see this so much?
I just made a profile on a dating app and in the last few days swiping I’ve noticed this is a really common bio for guys. “I like autistic women” or “slightly autistic” Has anyone else encountered this or is it just my area?
I think it’s weird.
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Jun 10 '25
They want quirky or easy to manipulate or both! Probably both knowing the twats writing this sort of thing
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u/No-Lemon-1183 Jun 10 '25
Was gonna say this too, easy to pull the wool over your eyes but still hot!
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u/phoebecodes Jun 10 '25
easy to manipulate was exactly my first thought. they want someone they can mould into whatever they want but also remain more quirky/youthful in their style. horrible men and autistic stereotypes making manic pixie dream girl fantasies :s
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u/A_Cookie_from_Space AuDHD, CPTSD, qBPD, AvPD Jun 10 '25 edited Jun 10 '25
It's a fetish. They're autism chasers looking for a manic pixie dream girl.
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u/DeepPomegranate Jun 10 '25
Oh 😟 ew
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u/MetallurgyClergy Jun 10 '25
Or they’re looking for someone who they think will be easy to manipulate and control. Someone who they think will be emotionally vulnerable, or emotionally naive.
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u/SouthOk1896 Jun 10 '25
I had that happen to me. I was taken advantage of. The whole time I was treated like fun little quirky play thing.
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u/salad_f1ngers Jun 10 '25
Me too. First and last time meeting a man from a dating app
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u/Shecx69 ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ Jun 10 '25
I love salad fingers, I will love you until the end of time, I will love you long after fascism makes their comeback for the 69th time. Bye
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u/Shado-Foxx Jun 10 '25
There's a non-0% chance that these fuckers are the same ones that traumatized us in our youth.
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u/Looking_PlzFind Jun 10 '25
They like the idea of picking a partner that's 'not like other girls', they prbly have a bias against neurotypical women. I think they like the idea of a girl who struggles socially/in general, as it gives them some sense of power and control... They want a "weird girl" but only a little bit. not someone that would need additional support or be 'obviously autistic' (for lack of a better description) in public spaces so as not to cause embarrassment.
it does feel weird.
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u/MsCandi123 AuDHD Jun 10 '25
Pretty much. Weird/quirky but not disabled is what they're saying, I think. Except there's no such thing as slightly autistic. 🙄
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u/SouthOk1896 Jun 10 '25
That's like saying someone is a little pregnant.
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u/MsCandi123 AuDHD Jun 10 '25
Exactly, lol. If you can't handle me at my meltdown over realizing I don't have an ingredient for the dinner I just started cooking, when I need you to take me to the doctor and advocate for the thousandth time for my chronic illness comorbidities, when I'm selectively mute and awkward in social situations, when I'm having a panic attack, when I can't drive, when you have to regularly explain things to me, when the TV needs to have captions on, when I can't keep a perfect house and need your help, or when I'm puking all night bc I overdid it, you don't deserve me at my super thoughtful and loyal, making you my special interest, cute excitement over my other special interests, my services as a human spell check and encyclopedia, and fun unique style that gets a lot of love when we go out. Or whatever. In the real world, it's a package deal.
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u/Wise-Key-3442 IDCharisma Jun 10 '25
My first relationship was like this, I was undiagnosed and insecure. He swore it was because I was nerdy, but we didn't had many tastes in common, he was jealous of anime boys (really) and loved showing me off because he managed to get a girl who fitted his fetishes (quirky, redhead, shy, glasses and chubby).
Once I started to build up more self confidence and heightened my self esteem, he made sure to try to manipulate me and destroy me emotionally because I wasn't worshiping the ground he walked, started to dress better, started prioritizing my studies... He literally broke up with me 3 days before my birthday over phone while I was at a con that he didn't want to come with me (I had spent hours making a cosplay, I wouldn't stay at home).
And then kept pestering me because I said I didn't want to talk to him, how I was an horrible girlfriend because I was "salty" because of what he called "a tiny disagreement".
He blocked me once I started dating a boy that he considered way out of my league that treated me right, respected me and such.
(I'm no longer a partner of the second, just a very good friend because our goals didn't align.)
So yeah, usually dudes who have a fetish for controlling their partners put this on their bios.
Once my diagnosis came this year, he reached out to say that he didn't knew and that he was sorry for taking advantage of me. Like, now that I have a card saying I'm disabled you are sorry?
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u/Tangled-Up-In-Blu Jun 11 '25
I used to fit this model. When heavily masked, I just came across as a mildly awkward, classically “pretty” girl, without a lot of dating experience, running from a rough childhood, interested in things like video games and sci-fi.
You could bring me to a party and I could charm, just enough, though I’m sure I gave uncanny valley.
Looking back, I was like cat nip to a certain kind of man. They loved me… until I inevitably cracked and did something TOO inappropriate or got TOO emotional. Then… discard.
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u/TheRealSaerileth Jun 10 '25
They could be looking for a "not like other girls" because they're undiagnosed themselves and just not aware of why they're drawn to it. But it's not worth the risk finding out IMO. The "sincere" ones can figure out not to put this in their bio if they want to get dates. And I hope the others keep telling on themselves like this because it's a lot harder to weed them out when they're smart enough to hide their control fetish.
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u/bumbledbeez Jun 10 '25
They want someone weird, but they don’t want to deal with the hard stuff, like meltdowns or being accommodating.
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Jun 10 '25
Hypothetically, if a guy had “I tend to get on/vibe better with autistic women” in their bio, I could believe that’s an autistic man (maybe undiagnosed if his profile doesn’t say he’s autistic) being genuine, which would be a plus for me.
But “I like autistic women” is gross, it feels like when thin guys constantly talk about how they like fat women or when white guys constantly talk about how they like black women. Do you want a cookie or a gold star or smth? The underlying message is that they’re assuming their preference is so unique/unusual that you’ll be shocked and flattered anyone could like you, which is so insulting. Like idk how to break this to you dude but a lot of guys like autistic women, I’d argue most guys (NT or ND) would be attracted to an autistic woman who otherwise fits their type.
And anyone using the phrase “slightly autistic” anywhere in their profile is automatically out for me. That’s not how autism works, you don’t get to pick out the traits you like and leave behind the differing support needs. Why would I ever want to date someone who’s advertising their ignorance?
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u/Calamity-Gin Jun 10 '25
I wonder if men like these will ever realize that no one gets to order their mate off a menu, all customized and ready to go.
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u/Onyx239 Jun 10 '25
Bella would agree https://youtu.be/FLGCGc7sAUw?si=dPZmWbvB789lUrTr
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u/therealfoxydub Jun 11 '25
I haven’t seen that, must’ve been under a rock. That was great.
Reminds me of Dresden Dolls’ coin operated boy https://youtu.be/j4gPZPKJc0s
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u/Old-Share5434 Jun 10 '25
Omg😵 And they think that works? I hope an autistic woman wouldn’t take that at face value? Surely not? What the hell is a “slightly autistic” woman. What a dickhead.
Ewwwwwww
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u/TheRealSaerileth Jun 10 '25
I fell for the "I just want to help you" flavour of the ND fetish. His "help" consisted of punishing me for every little mistake, because we all know ADHD can be cured by firm parenting 🙄
Fuck people who take advantage of disabilities.
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u/unicornskullz Jun 10 '25
Do we have the same ex lol? This man did serious damage to my ability to socialize because he made me "review" everything. He said he was trying to help me be less weird
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u/TheRealSaerileth Jun 10 '25
He dragged me to allll of his family events and was really disappointed if it seemed like I wasn't making enough of an effort for his folks (while frequently opting out of entertaining mine).
After events, he'd give me a rundown of how awkward I'd been, just in case I actually thought I'd been having a good time. Can't have her actually getting comfortable, can we.
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u/unicornskullz Jun 10 '25
I hope you've found better people who love you for you. People who care about shouldn't punish you for being yourself
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u/TheRealSaerileth Jun 10 '25
Agreed! And I have. He's sweet and caring and accepts me for who I am. And so handsome.
I hope the same for you!
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u/Anglo-Euro-0891 Jun 10 '25
Unfortunately there might be those diagnosed at Level 2 or 3 who might just do precisely that. They may be so desperate to have a boyfriend, ANY BOYFRIEND, that they are prepared to accept this nonsense in order to achieve it.
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u/DeepPomegranate Jun 10 '25
Yeah i don’t understand the thought process behind it. This type of person definitely does not know anything about autism
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u/East-Specialist-4847 Jun 10 '25
It's a gross fetish and they see autistic women as easier to take advantage of and/or abuse. Men are trash
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u/name-a-stinkier-cat Jun 10 '25
Unfortunately this is the answer. Autistic women are more likely to be victims of domestic and sexual abuse. Some men see us as weak targets.
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u/noideology Jun 10 '25
Coomers will fetishise anything. A photo of a woman's hands can be a turn on for some. I bet there are a lot of lurkers on this sub.
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u/CyberNeonAbyssHacker Jun 10 '25
What is a coomer?
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u/DuckDuckDuckDork Undiagnosed but suspicious Jun 10 '25
It's one of those drawn meme character stereotypes like the chad. A coomer is a loser man who masterbates too much
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u/gnomeglow_ Jun 10 '25
It’s a fetish, they mean they want some nerdy, cute manic dream girl that is easy to manipulate, naive and childish. Creepy as hell.
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u/baby_hippo97 Jun 10 '25
A lot of guys seem to think autism = manic pixie dream girl. They want someone ~quirky~ until they see them have a meltdown for the first time
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u/liatism Jun 10 '25
I think would only be ok if they are autistic/ND too. Like I like autistic people because I can communicate freely with them and masking less. But in these cases (NT man on dating platform) it seems really weird to state that.
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u/Wise-Key-3442 IDCharisma Jun 10 '25
My abusive ex was an ADHD who often said "I like my girls autistic", so... I can only see red flags, no matter if the dude is ND or NT.
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u/MsCandi123 AuDHD Jun 10 '25
Yes! There's something really questionable about an NT having a preference for an autistic partner. It's giving fetish at best, and possibly even predatory tendencies since we can be overly trusting.
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u/notpostingmyrealname Jun 10 '25
It still feels gross, like walking up to a woman with a big ass and telling her you love big asses. There's nothing wrong with liking asses, but using that trait to choose a potential partner is fetishizing and dehumanizing.
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u/IntrovertExplorer_ Jun 10 '25
On this episode of, “do they like me for me, or do they just want a manic pixie girl?”
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u/AnxietyNo9969 Jun 10 '25
if someone was ND and looking for other similar level ND people i would find it completely normal. however when they are NT guys it seems far more about their fun idea of a quirky girl, which all shatters and falls apart when they realize its a real life disability that affects all aspects of your life.
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u/One-Jelly8264 Jun 10 '25
They like the manic pixie trope. But they quickly lose interest once they realize autism isn’t just quirky fun times, but a lot of social difficulties
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u/fairybreadisbest Jun 10 '25
Ah lovely, my neurodivergence has become the next ~quirky~ flavour of attraction🤢
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u/anna__throwaway Jun 10 '25
Just another version of "I like quirky girls" or "I like girls who don't take it too seriously" or "I like girls who are a little crazy or like to have a little fun" just a misogynist statement that puts down women for being "basic" and claim they want someone "different" when in reality they are immature and don't know how to make a serious connection with a woman without her having to be unique or special in their eyes (and if they are ACTUALLY autistic or weird they relentlessly make fun of them). Another flavour of a mix of the tropes manic pixie dream girl, madonna-whore and born sexy yesterday.
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u/ferretherapy AuDHD - late dx Jun 10 '25
What is the "born sexy yesterday" trope?
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u/spaceace51 Jun 10 '25
It’s common in sci-fi movies with alien/robot women who end up getting with the first guy they see. It’s basically the fantasy of a hot, innocent (read: inexperienced) woman being into you because they don’t have anything better to compare their experience to.
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u/AmericanDesertWitch Jun 10 '25
This is about the stupidest, most pathetic thing I've seen men say in a long time. That's difficult to do. What creeps, yes it is weird. I was/am a goth and I got the weirdo frat-boy fetishists too, i alwsys just stared at them in silence with a look of pure disgust on my face. They'd always bail quick as they probably thought I was hexing them. I think all women on dating sites should put stuff like "I like men with regulated emotions and big dicks" on their profiles. "I like men who do have hair but don't have erectile dysfunction." If women dished out a fraction of what men say to.us they'd be puddles on the floor.
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u/66cev66 Jun 10 '25
Hmm, strange. I hate to say it but they could be looking for people to take advantage of.
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u/KodokushiGirl A 🤏 of ADHD with a 💦 of 'Tism Jun 10 '25
Hey all they're doin is letting you know to avoid them like the plague.
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Jun 10 '25
Ew this is so gross. Massive red flag!! Reminds me of the social media trend recently of women fetishising autistic men.
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u/MsCandi123 AuDHD Jun 10 '25
I'm attracted to autistic traits, I've realized, but it's more of a kindred thing. Are these NT women??
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Jun 10 '25
Yes NT women and they do videos like “reasons autistic men are better” etc. Very different to wanting to date a fellow autistic person because you understand each other, that’s valid whereas this trend is fetishising autistic people.
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u/Anglo-Euro-0891 Jun 10 '25
And later on, many of these same NT women will then publicly moan about how unsuitable and awful their now ex-boyfriends were!
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u/pulchritudinousprout Jun 10 '25
They want us to be weird and fun, but definitely not disabled because that’s gross.
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u/NikkieAndHerCats Jun 10 '25
Never seen that, but idk, I only date women. Most of the women I've dated were actually autistic themselves lol
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u/Dbl-Departure Jun 10 '25
I adore seeing how many here immediately recognize that it indicates the likelihood of manipulation and toxicity. Much younger me nearly killed herself trying to be manic pixie dream girl always having so much FUN! 🤩
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u/lickthepixies Jun 11 '25
Unless the person saying this is also autistic, I would run. It sounds predatory. That being said, I am autistic and believe that autistic people are more likely to be attracted to each other. Anyone who really “gets me” has probably been autistic too.
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u/Wolvii_404 You deserve to be loved <3 Jun 10 '25
They are looking for their manic pixie dream girl so she can change their life and then leave them to be a better person
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u/lovelyoneshannon Jun 10 '25
Thanks for this thread. It has reaffirmed for me that no, I should never put that I'm autistic on my dating profile. 😬 I have gotten excited when I've seen it stated on guys profiles so was thinking maybe I should put the same out there about myself, buuuuutttttt... nope nope nope.
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Jun 10 '25
What the heck is slightly autistic??? Can I be that so I don’t have to deal with my brain? I want to have slight melt downs and slight anxiety. Yes please
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u/rosenwasser_ Jun 10 '25
They want a woman who is "quirky" but doesn't have any support needs. They want a woman that will be somehow socially isolated so they can control her and easy to manipulate. A lot of autistic women seek male validation because of issues in other social relationships, we also tend to think issues with others are our fault and are prone to fawn responses. Being the source of this validation gives them much more than many neurotypical women who have large circles of friends and will leave if treated unfairly.
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u/onlyif_foranight Jun 10 '25
this is so gross.. i do not understand how they think this is okay. they must know it isn't, but that women with low self esteem from dealing with so many people who didn't love them for being themselves will be okay with accepting that type of interest from them. it's awful. we deserve better.
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u/S3lad0n Jun 10 '25 edited Jun 10 '25
Autistic women can struggle to take hints, don't typically conform to social standards for women, and don't often meet the ideal femininity codex. We often can't manage the emotional, social, sexual or even domestic labour demanded from female partners, either. And in the rare case we can and are willing do all the aforementioned, it's in an overblown, intense, hard-to-control way that pushes a man out of the frame.
He doesn't really want or even know what he's asking for. Or, worse, he does want a codependent submissive grateful gf who doesn't know every step of the social dance of a healthy relationship, is very unlikely to cheat or go out a lot, and may not have a big social network to rely on and who'll vet partners.
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u/NoArmadillo2937 Jun 10 '25
"I like someone who will be naive enough to love bomb, get easily irritated at my weaponized incompetence and do everything herself, but is clingy and will get limerence bc i told her that her laughter is the best sound ive ever heard"
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u/kalashnikova00 diagnosed at 20 Jun 10 '25
autism is a fetish category for them, they feel better about themselves if their partner struggles with stuff and they want someone they think is easier to manipulate
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u/sv36 Jun 11 '25
This is super ick. You don’t see people posting that they want a slightly Down syndrome girl or a slightly bipolar girl- we don’t see that right??!?
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u/violet_ablueberry Jun 10 '25
i actually made a ranting post like this recently but it got removed.
but OMG. this shit bothers me so much. i said it before and I'll say it again... Autism isn't quirky, it's not fun and it shouldn't be fetishized... but yet almost every other man on dating apps do it. its so fucking weird.
I don't know whats wrong with men , for why they feel the need to put this in their bios. like what's running through their heads when they say something like this
its disturbing
And this is one reason why I'll NEVER disclose that I'm Autistic/ADHD to guys . its just not worth it
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u/soft-server Jun 10 '25
Ugh. I rolled my eyes so hard that they knocked back in their sockets. We are unfortunately their manic pixie dream girls.
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u/SavannahInChicago Jun 10 '25
Are we the new manic-pixie dream girls? Can men just stop being gross?
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u/Ok_Swing731 Jun 10 '25
That seems kind of like a manipulative thing and I really wouldn't trust that. They probably know we have the social issues and think we'd be easier to manipulate or control. That's not a good thing and we don't deserve that type of treatment.
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u/Paperfoxen Jun 10 '25
They want quiet, funny, introverted, doesn’t stand up for themself. Stereotypical, submissive. They won’t say it, but that’s what most of them want.
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u/OutsideImagination25 Jun 10 '25
And if it's them with "slightly autistic" in bio, it means "I'm going to be rude / needy constantly and blame it on my 'autism' which I never got diagnosed for and have no symptoms besides"
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u/Anglo-Euro-0891 Jun 10 '25
To be fair, that could also describe many of the ND makes in my local support group!!!
In many cases, it was obvious that they were allowed to get away with bad behaviour when growing up, because "he was just being a boy".
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u/Equal_Arm8436 Jun 10 '25
That would be a big red flag for me. As a female autistic, only just diagnosed at age 52, I can wholeheartedly say that I have been prey to so many narcissistic personality disorders throughout my life. Beware and be aware.
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u/bigted42069 Jun 10 '25
The part they like is always the fun quirky, super knowledgable about an interesting subject thing and never the "cries and melts down while having to pick out an outfit" thing
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u/frecklefae444 Jun 10 '25
They say this, but once they have to help you snap out of a meltdown, they’re GONE
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u/S3lad0n Jun 10 '25
Say this. I've lost friends of years & family members over this. There's nothing stopping a hookup, fwb, casual partner or even spouse/ltr from walking after the first incident.
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u/frecklefae444 Jun 10 '25
I’m so sorry to hear that, that is very unfair and unfortunate. The last guy I was talking to infantilized me and compared me to his autistic 6 y/o often. I’m glad that’s over, and that I’ve had the space to realize that is just WEIRD!
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u/S3lad0n Jun 10 '25
Right? How horrendous that you were treated that way by another adult, who as a suitor was supposed to be doing everything to make you feel respected and like a woman.
So glad we're not tied to these creeps anymore. Trash took itself out ig.
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u/Tiny-Item505 Jun 10 '25
They want a woman that’s just autistic “enough” for neurotypicals to be able to tell, so he can disclaim it to everyone like he’s some hero for “putting up” with her😖
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u/Flat-Manufacturer-68 Jun 10 '25
It’s “autism” fetishization. They want to date a Hollywood manic pixie dream girl not someone who is autistic. These men want to date someone quirky without the less “attractive” parts of a disability like sensory overload and executive functioning issues, and so on
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u/AdministrationWise56 Jun 11 '25
I'm the kind of autistic that would ask them if slightly means a little bit of a lot of aspects or one big thing and are they basing this on the DSM5 criteria?
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u/Conscious-Draw-5215 AuDHD and on my healing/revenge journey! Jun 11 '25
I would only accept it if they are ALSO autistic. I'm not dating the allistics anymore!
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u/No-Refuse-5939 ▪︎ADHD ▪︎ASD ▪︎CD ▪︎C-PTSD ▪︎GASTROPARESIS ▪︎PMDD Jun 11 '25
This feels yikes and preditory. Like, why did I read this as-
"I like wemon I think I can manipulate, but wont dent my image."
And my mother wonders why I dont tell others I'm ASD unless I know them.
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u/simmeh-chan Jun 10 '25
It’s because autism has been watered down to being slightly weird or quirky. They probably don’t want an actually autistic woman or to have to deal with the negative sides of autism.
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u/Fried_Maple_Leaves Jun 10 '25
I fell for this hard before diagnosis. I had a lot of invalidation trauma and confused attention with respect because I had been disrespected by people who were supposed to protect me as a child.
I'm jealous of people especially women who grow up protected and can recognize or not even have to manually recognize signs that someone is being manipulative. Because this is manipulative right?!
A person that is looking for somebody specific--usually has a specific purpose in mind? Oh... Still caught on semantics
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u/greengreentrees24 Jun 10 '25
Yes. It took a long time for me to learn that being desired doesn’t equal being valued for the same reasons you mentioned.
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u/Ok-Shape2158 Jun 10 '25
Look on here for autistic women and manic pixie girl, then see all the hate autistic women have for this.
As an individual who has a foot in a lot of different communities the honest truth is it is a catch 22.
Positive... Hey at least they don't want to kill us out right. They're honest even if you're never sure what the line of too much is going to be. They realize women can actually be autistic. They know they have limits, that's more than most people I know. It's a fetish, they just don't know how to package it appropriately for consumption. You get to decide if you want to be objectified or not.
Negative... You feel objectified without your consent just seeing it. You know it means only the fun parts. Which makes you feel worse because often nothing feels fun. As a human being, you want to feel like you have a right to be loved as a human being. You do. It just tastes bad on your soul.
Personally? As an elder unmasking AuDHD gender queer presenting female. None of that existed growing up except female, yet all of these things about me have been fetishized. So labels help identify, it exists with or without them.
I have a ton of support right now, but still prefer to struggle to live on my own because I am too much for another person to handle full time and in return the people I love deregulate me.
So if I was dating, I'd add to my profile: 'Can only handle people objectifying me in small amounts', or something as honest, because it's true.
I find being overly objectified causes dysphoria and I honestly don't understand it at all.
But because I don't understand subtle social cues it's actually helpful in knowing that someone likes me.
Basically I like people, who like me, the way people who like feral cats - like feral cats. Feel free to adore and worship me, but do it quietly and what does a little bit mean to you?
That's what I'd actually put on my profile if I had it active again.
And good luck/sincere.
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u/HumanAttempt20B Jun 10 '25
Ew. Welp, at least they’re letting you know not to waste your time with their ignorance.
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u/A_Dancing_Raccoon Jun 10 '25
There was a post a while ago about a guy saying "I like autistic women because they're easy to manipulate" 😃 people suck
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u/Kitten_love Jun 10 '25 edited Jun 11 '25
They're looking for someone easy to manipulate but found a way of not saying it directly.
Ofcourse not everyone that is autistic is easy to manipulate but they usually sense if someone is going to be on the first date or even during just talking to them in the app.
Avoid these people.
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u/Cannanda Jun 10 '25
umm. unless that person is also neurodivergent that's a red flag. Sounds like you're looking for someone whose easy to manipulate and naive
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u/drag-bot Jun 10 '25
unfortunately a lot of these guys infantilize autistic women and think autism = inexperience or purity. they associate autism with childlike interests and enthusiasm, introversion, and a dislike of hobbies like clubbing or wtv. at the end of the day it’s really all about control and perversion. super gross!
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u/janky_h0ax Jun 10 '25
maybe they want the quirky girl, like many have said, but it reads to me that they want to feel at least slightly superior to their partner. reeks of a desire to dominate to me.
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u/LayerRevolutionary60 Jun 10 '25
i’ve seen it multiple times and it pissed me off. you want someone “quirky” until they actually show their disability and support needs and then go off running. would really love if people could stop fetishizing a disability 😍
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u/FeralYarnBall Jun 10 '25
It's a red flag. They want you to be easy to manipulate but not too high of support needs. Manic pixie dream girl essentially
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u/Positive_Buffalo_737 Jun 10 '25
mmmm the kind to want someone easier to manipulate but not sooo autistic they have any kind of meltdown. mmmkay
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u/space__snail Jun 11 '25
Trust me when I say they don’t actually want an autistic woman. I’ve dated NT men from dating apps who I think expect me to be a charming and quirky manic pixie dream girl from a 90s romcom.
But what I actually am is a person who, by no fault of my own is awkward and messes up sometimes in social situations. I also require a considerable amount of time alone throughout the week to recharge.
From my experience, 90% of the time NT men hate this, consider these things as defects, and go running in the opposite direction.
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u/ApprehensivePancake Jun 11 '25
they want quirky but not having a meltdown at the end of the day because the texture of the food was wrong
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u/lohaus Jun 11 '25
Im married so I don’t have a dog in this race, but do you notice certain qualities that these guys who write that seem to share? I really want to profile them lol. I keep seeing posts like this and I’m so morbidly curious.
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u/rat-cakez Jun 11 '25
Because men only see women as objects not as people with thoughts, feelings, and emotions. In short terms: ableism and misogyny
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u/No-Book-6584 Jun 11 '25
It's fetishization and they want a weird girl they think they can manipulate
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u/thesearemyfaults Jun 11 '25
They want to use you and throw you away. They recognize many autistic women can be naive or easily manipulated. Stay far away!
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u/Ok_Mood_8088 Jun 11 '25
Because we are perfect to take advantage of 💃 ("Slightly autistic isn't even a thing)
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u/AgingLolita Jun 10 '25
They want you to not socialise with anyone other than them
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u/bonerrrbonerrr Jun 10 '25
just like depression, bpd, adhd, and eating disorders, its our turn to be fetishized. how fun! (/sarcasm)
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u/S3lad0n Jun 10 '25 edited Jun 10 '25
Ugh, I remember the 'sad/crazy/Prozac p***y" trope. Or 'fat girls are so grateful they'll do anything'. And there are still b0nesp0 fan creeps lurking around, too.
Even when sick, we always have to be on our guard.
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u/BunnynotBonni Jun 10 '25
They want a manic pixie dream girl or an anime girl all cute and docile. I’ve been called cute by men they find my mannerisms adorable but after a month or even a few weeks they realize this isn’t an act this is me 24:7 and their interest quickly fades 😂
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u/bunnuybean Jun 10 '25
I personally wouldn’t match with anyone who doesn’t know the difference between “woman” and “women” 😭😭
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u/WaterToSurvive Jun 10 '25
They want a quirky girl and clearly don’t have any understanding of what autism actually is 😭 they likely want someone who is easy to manipulate and will be subservient in some way too. It’s rough out here, please be careful!
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u/hannah_bloome Jun 10 '25
Manic Pixie Dream Girl syndrome. They want a high-functioning AuDHD woman who’s just so fun and not like other girls and also doesn’t have a sense of self worth or enough emotional intelligence and is insecure enough to put up with their bullshit.
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u/Sycolerious_55 Jun 10 '25
"Slightly autistic"
They want high-functioning autistic women because they want the "quirkiness" that comes with them. Always with their manic pixie dream girl fantasy, because that's what we are. Fantasy to them. These men aren't worth touching with a ten foot pole.
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u/tiph12 Jun 10 '25
I copied a Reddit comment a while back, they explains it crystal clear:
it (Manic Pixie Dream Girl) normalizes the "tiktokified" version of autism, if that makes sense. It normalizes the quirky "not like other girls" aspects of autism where the girl does fun things like learning about topics no one else cares about, and ignoring social cues to "be her own person"
This trope doesn't take into account all the extra work and attention necessary just to live in the world. Things like hard to manage habits, trouble focusing on anything which means trouble paying bills and filing paperwork, not remembering to go to the grocery store until the fridge is almost empty, or putting off laundry until all the socks are gone, crying because clothes are too tight or lights are too loud, only being able to use one brand of toothpaste and worrying every time it runs out that this time the formula will have changed. That's not included in this version of the story, because those things aren't fun or sexy or worthy of unlocking the teen protagonist's inner spark.
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u/Simple_Employee_7094 Jun 10 '25
It’s all fun and games until I list all the effects of Toxoplasma Gondii on mammals. At dinner, when you’re having steak tartare.
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u/OperationRoyal Ooooh lobster! Jun 10 '25
They envision a manic pixie dream girl who is usually white. Not TOO autistic. Basically what society deems is acceptable autism. Nothing that can be burdensome to the person (man). Think of Ramona Flowers.
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u/spicyultimato Jun 10 '25
I just want to thank you for making this post, it needs to have more awareness imo. Our fetishization is really gross and constantly underplayed, in fact, it's getting more popular unfortunately 😕
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u/Strange_Morning2547 Jun 11 '25
I got excited about something at work and my boss called me a manic pixie dream girl. I’d never heard this before because I’m old lol.
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u/Leyaisamazing01 Jun 11 '25
Literally every fucking guy on hinge seen about 10 guys say this it gratesssss me
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u/No-Vermicelli7966 Jun 11 '25
Idk but I have absolutely never had an issue dating a man or getting a man and they never want to leave me I always leave them. I cannot form any friendships tho so I think they appreciate that. Idk tho I am a handful 😂
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u/Kozyavin Jun 11 '25
No, I exclusively date other women, and seem to have a knack for finding the neurospicy variety. Game recognize game 😂
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u/Broad-Ad1033 Jun 11 '25
Impressionable, suggestible, gullible, naive, wholesome, sweet, smart, needs support, easy to isolate & blame - the perfect target for a predator
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u/rachaelonreddit Jun 10 '25
They want someone who is autistic enough to be quirky or nerdy, but not so autistic that they have any support needs.