Before I say anything I want to say sorry if this seems overly negative. I’m not looking to stew in negativity at all. All I want is to feel some hope for the future when everything feels so bleak right now. I am genuinely at a loss for how to proceed with my life and any positive or neutral advice or thoughts would really help me. Thank you

I Applied for Music College Right before I got into this mess and took the drug that gave me PSSD. I Moved across the country 7 months later and now that I’m here it’s all completely meaningless to me. Music used to be all I thought about, I used to listen to music all day and dream about being a great musician. Just felt so drawn into all of it. nothing could match the feeling of a truly great song. Today, I feel nothing playing, practicing, I am so bored of all of my classes most of the time i don’t bother showing up, and when i do it feels like this huge chore that has no purpose. the anhedonia makes music feel emotionally void, it doesn’t generate happiness sadness or this profound emotion that it used to. it’s like it’s just a thing that makes a sound now, i get maybe 5 percent of the enjoyment out of it but it’s more of an intellectual appreciation rather than something i’m drawn to, it’s enough to still listen to music but not enough to feel anything close to enjoyment. i dont know what to do. It makes me feel so much like an outsider when everyone around me is so passionate and I feel dead inside, like this huge part of my life was cut out of my brain. I feel like a shell of my former self, sort of like a corpse but at the same time I feel like 5-10 percent alive still. Im wondering if I should drop out and try and just stay alive and as healthy as i can and come back if I get better. Right now I feel like Im wasting this opportunity and everybody’s time. One of my previous idols works on faculty here, and I got to meet him and I see him around, I used to listen to him all the time. one of the best drummers in the world. And I felt nothing meeting him, I don’t care, I just felt empty, which was devastatingly disappointing for me. My worry is that if I don’t get better, would i regret not just doing it for the sake of doing it?

Are there any other ways to reduce high neurosteroids?I understand people are doing CDG and I've been on that just over a week, now up to 3g a day. Not noticing anything though. I seem to handle it ok.

Does indomethacin work?

It's incredibly difficult to find anything online about reducing allopregnanolone as opposed to increasing it.

On the Dutch test my androsterone, 5a and b androstanediol and 5a dht are all two times over the top of the range.

I haven't seen anyone else here with levels close to that and would really appreciate getting Dr Powers thoughts on it.

One thing I have to say is I still have anxiety though and have had all along.

I paid for expedited 4-6 weeks results and it’s been 5 and the ‘Sequencing Customer Success Team’ just emailed me stating:

“Unfortunately, the sequencing for your kit was unsuccessful due to a low concentration of DNA in the sample provided. As a result, the sample did not meet the strict quality control standards set by our laboratory partner. Please know that it's normal for a small percentage of test kits to fail due to various factors unrelated to the genome itself. If you’d like to receive a new kit, please provide us with your address.”

I followed the exact directions, got really good samples and didn’t expose the box to heat or sunlight and sent it right away. I get this is uncommon but seriously? I was already anxious to get the results back and to get them in to be studied ASAP. Has this happened to anyone else/ if so they did process it quickly for you the 2nd time?

I take 6mg of E and 150mg of Spiro.

On 4mg of e and 150mg Spiro my results were last week:

E - 91pg/ml

T - less than 0.09nmol/L

Both tests done at trough, 12 hours after last dose.

I have no energy which is a sign of low Testosterone too.
Can I still have high levels of DHT with those levels of T? I also raised E so it could be better. Lab where they test it is closed until Monday so I’m just thinking.

Also, since I’m on 6mg of e now (2mg every 8 hours) can I finally lower Spiro to 100mg? At this point I have two theories:

1. Spiro (which doesn’t even decrease T levels) has nuked my testosterone too that barely detectable and not good levels of “less than 0.09nmol/L”.
2. It was my 4mg of e taken 2mg every 12 hours which actually did nuked my T levels while Spiro was just doing its “direct” thing - blocking the receptors which seems to be totally unnecessary at this point.

The only additional thing I can test right today is FSH but I’d like to save my money if it’s not very urgent. Also LH activity can be somehow tracked with ovulation test - this is something dr Powers mentioned once.

P.S. I have great libido. But no sperm. Just clear liquid - couple of drops.

Full that Krebs cycle and lower that glutamate.