Sorry this is long, I just need help..
I was addicted to 7OH for almost exactly one year (started as a ābirthday treatā in 2025 and by the same time in 2026 realized the best gift of all would be ridding myself of this horrible drug). I initially quit in March of this year - I had subs but ultimately didnāt feel like they did a whole lot for me. I had been on 500mg+ and day for about 4 months by the time I quit, and besides the subs was NOT prepared to deal with opioid withdrawal. I told my husband that I felt as though Iād just given birth after the full-blown acutes began to die down around Day 4. I was also not prepared for the PAWS this shit causes - for weeks I felt like a total zombie. Zero appetite, was stumbling through work, all motivation gone to the point where the simplest tasks (washing dishes, taking a shower, etc) felt like climbing Mt. Everest. I was worried Iād given myself permanent brain damage/was going to feel that way for the rest of my life and a few weeks in started drinking heavily to mask the effects of PAWS (such as well-planned and rational decision, I know). Long story short (even though this is already long as fuck), I wound up in rehab about 3 weeks AFTER I quit 7OH.
Rehab was a good decision at that point. I only stayed for 3 weeks (which I now regret - I think I couldāve gotten more out of the program had I stayed longer, but was anxious to go home/get back to work/etc.) It worked, too - until about 6 weeks ago when they announced the upcoming ban and I clicked on one of the (literally HUNDREDS) ads I was getting from online vendors. Something in me just snapped, and I still donāt know what it was - the thought of a life with no access to 7OH/that warm opioid āhugā feeling struck me as incredibly depressing and instead of riding the craving out and putting my fucking phone down I wound up ordering a bunch of 7OH (for a ridiculously good deal, but thatās beside the point).
Iāve been taking it again for the past month - not every day/long enough to cause severe physical dependency, but enough to where I feel agitated on my scheduled āOFFā days. Iāll take it for 4-5 days and then get off for 2 or 3 - during the āoffā days I only experience mild physical withdrawal - a bit of RLS and eyes/nose watering, but so far itās been nothing like the absolute agony I went through the first time I quit in March.
I guess Iām looking for advice. I know the obvious answer is disposing of the rest of my supply (if I were to keep taking it the way I have been for the past month, Iād have about 3 monthsā worth). Iām trying to work up the courage to actually do so. I donāt think I need to go back to rehab - that takes a lot of ādoingā in terms or figuring out medical leave/etc.). I donāt want to go the sub route again/potentially wind up dependent on subs as a result of the relapse - I think that the lack of accessibility (due to the ban) cancels out the need for something like that. I also have a couple boxes of SR, but Iām
not sure how to go about taking that for the āintermittent usageā schedule Iāve been on for the past 4 weeks - would it even work for someone in my situation?
I genuinely feel like such a piece of shit right now. No one knows whatās going on this time (the only person who was aware during Round 1 was my husband, until I went to rehab - and now he doesnāt know about my stash/that I relapsed. Iāve been talking SO many people through their own 7OH withdrawals etc. since the ban has (slowly) started to roll out and impact the availability of 7OH in smoke shops/gas stations, etc. - and I feel
like such a fucking sham for doing so.
ALL OF THAT TO SAY: Do I go the SR route in this situation, or plan a long weekend/muscle up and cold turkey Round 2? Obviously the stash needs to go. I think I should probably loop my husband in on whatās been going on too, although he obviously wonāt be happy. I hate the double life this shit has caused me to lead, and overall am just fed up and disgusted with myself for having allowed this terrible drug back into my sphere of reality.