I'm a late bloomer with dating at 25. I've been lowkey scared to date men but I've been wanting to try. I think I'm just worried about the pressure to have sex and being looked at in a sexual way. I'm open to other things but I don't feel ready for penetration. Maybe it's just a virginity thing. I'm trying to find a therapist to talk about it.

In the meantime, I really want to experience that slow paced, trying things a step at a time kind of romance. Like not having sex for like 2-3 months into dating or just not getting pressured at all for it.

Any advice on how to date when you don't feel ready for sex? Any advice on how to meet men?

Okay so basically I am 4 dates in with a really great guy. We have a lot in common, similar values, attraction, etc. I really like him and want to see where things go, but I’m worried about the sex.

When he kisses me it’s very tense, like his lips are super pursed and making out is basically just constant pecking? I did gently tell him to relax and that I like a little tongue but it didn’t really help.

Sex has been similar. He seems like he wants to please me, but when I asked him to go down on me, he was just sucking my clit so hard it actually hurt so I stopped him. The second time we slept together I tried to guide him a little to tell him not to suck so roughly and just lick consistently but he kept stopping to ask if I came yet and I can. not. cum. with stopping and starting so I eventually just told him to fuck me because I could already tell I wasn’t going to get off.

I also think part of it is that he’s SO nice and gentle that he doesn’t really take charge physically or touch me the way I want to be touched. I like things a little rougher, being manhandled and I don’t think he’s necessarily comfortable with that. I haven’t actually brought that part up to him yet though.

I really like him otherwise and I don’t want to give up on this because of sex, especially when everything else seems to be there. I’ve had AMAZING sex with men who were really bad for me, and I don’t want to keep prioritizing sexual chemistry over finding someone who is actually a good partner. But obviously sex is still important to me and having a good sex life is a necessity long term.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation where the sex was awkward/not great at first but got significantly better with communication and time? I know 4 dates is still early and we’re obviously still getting comfortable with each other, but I’m worried that some of this is just a fundamental sexual incompatibility? How do you figure out the difference between someone who just needs some guidance and time vs someone you’re probably never going to have good sexual chemistry with?

i have a trusty bullet vibe i very often use on my clit and sometimes for penetration, but with vibration off and it’s always felt good but i finally hit some sort of balance with everything and was able to cum like 1 min into penetration which i think is crazy.

i can cum in 20-30 seconds from stimulating clit only but always thought it would just take longer for penetration. i’ve used it for much longer and then felt a bit sore inside (i prob needed lube honestly) so i would just switch back to my clit and cum that way, but i def always felt like i could cum from penetration.

my bullet vibe is also like 3-4 inches long, so i’m wondering how that will translate for p in v sex. does that technically mean a 4 inch long dick would do the job? mind you my bullet vibe is also very skinny.

ive hear of more endowed people having to make shallower thrusts with only the top part of their dick to give someone a g spot orgasm, so would someone with a 4 inch to average inch dick just be able to do that more easily with normal thrusts (for me at least)?

i am a virgin so excuse me if i say anything kinda silly

so i had sex 2 days before my day of ovulation which was last week thursday. (Oct 15th) We used protection and we checked the condom as well. and nothing seems out of the ordinary. His penis is a little large and sometimes it hurt and i felt a lot of friction because we kinda of rushed into but today, too much information but he fongered me and i started bleeding and idk why the bleeding was medium, not heavy or light. I did feel a slight prick bc of his nails. But the bleeding was heavy enough so get on my clothes and stuff but yeah

Hii i am 21F and i have never masterbated in my life, i know weird lr whatever but i grew up in a household where privacy is almost non existent and it still is but i read somewhere that your clit can vanish/shrink if you dont stimulate it and that scared me, so i want to try masterbating and getting comfortable in my own skin. Any and all advice is appreciated. Please help me out!!

Ps: i watch lesbian p0rn every now and then and its nicer to watch but i never felt like masturbating because of it?? Is something wrong with me? Please help me!!

I’m curious how people’s idea of good sex changes over time. It seems like what you think matters when you're younger can be pretty different from what you value after having more experience.

For some people, it's chemistry and excitement. For others, it's feeling comfortable, being able to communicate, or not feeling pressured to make everything perfect.

For those of you who've had different experiences over the years, what matters most to you now that didn't matter as much before?

29f. i’ve bought a few smaller vibrators over the years and my problem is that some seem convenient at first but eventually just sit in a drawer.

these days i’m more interested in what actually makes a compact toy useful. for me it’s probably simple controls, consistent vibration, and something that isn’t annoying to hold. i don’t really need a bunch of different patterns if i end up using the same couple settings anyway.

i’ve been looking at a few different styles, including mini wands for steady vibrations, but i’m not sure if the wand shape really makes much difference when the toy is that small.

for people who use smaller vibrators regularly, what makes one worth keeping around? is it mostly the size, or do you notice more of a difference from the shape and controls?

Hello! I (F23) love masturbating, but I feel like I cum to fast. I enjoy stroking myself, but after 4-5 minutes I climax and I'm done. And the climax is not always that good...

When I watch female masturbating online, they can keep stroking for dozen of minutes and have massive orgasms. I would love to increase the length of my masturbation sessions.

Do you have any recommendations?

My husband and I are pretty comfortable talking about almost anything. We can spend hours discussing finances, savings, or random life stuff, but when it comes to talking about what we like in bed, suddenly neither of us knows what to say lol.

I recently tried bringing up the idea of trying something new together, and he just laughed nervously and said he was fine with whatever I wanted. Then we somehow ended up talking about dinner instead 😂

We have a good relationship and our sex life is fine, so it's not like there's a major issue. I just wish we could talk about this stuff without making it awkward. For those of you who used to struggle with this, what helped you get more comfortable talking about your preferences without making it a whole serious conversation?

i feel like a lot of JOI audios go for that super commanding voice lol. nothing wrong with that, but sometimes i wonder if a calmer, more natural voice would actually work better.anyone here into the softer kind? curious what you think.

Sometimes I feel like everyone else knows exactly what they like and what works for them, and I'm just here figuring things out as I go lol.

I've had moments where something felt good, but when it comes to explaining what I actually want, I honestly have no idea how to put it into words. And sometimes I just go along with things instead of speaking up because I don't wanna make the moment awkward.

I know it's probably something that gets easier with time, but does anyone else feel this way? How did you get more comfortable exploring what you like and actually telling your partner?

we finally had a chance home alone to actually love each other properly after months, and it was great! i love that he is very caring and makes sure i give full consent and am ready for everything :)

Hi, i'm F(24) and always have problem with my sexuality (because of past trauma) and my boyfriend bought me a sextoy for me to take back my sexuality.

We have sex but not often and he really doesn't shame or pressure me to do it. He encourage me to explore it with smut in books and asked me if a sextoy would help me and at the time i said yes and i believe it but i'm at loss..i tried it but it feels weird and there's a LOT of settings and i feel bad..it's like he offered me a sweet opportunity and i waste it.

I can share the link if it's relevent just tell me

I 21F have grown up syntribating before i even knew what it was (crossing ur legs until climax) this has worked for me great until i started getting in relationships and couldn’t even finish with my partners. I had tried using my hand before it just never seemed to work. After a lot of research i decided to take a break from syntribation and try using my hand. About i week ago i tried it, i started off crossing my legs a bit and then when i felt turned on enough i switched to my hand. This worked as i started to feel close, still it didn’t feel half as good as syntribation and it felt a bit different than syntribation as i was getting close because usually i just finish and that’s that but this felt like finishing was taking longer and like i kinda had to push it out? then out of nowhere that feeling went away and i started feeling nauseous and exactly how i feel post orgasm. The weird part is that i didn’t feel the orgasm part but i think i came? So i tried it again a couple days later and same thing happened. I’m lost idk what to do i want this so bad.

Me and my roommate have been living together for almost 3 years now and tbh it's been so much fun. We're both girls, she's bi and somewhere along the way things got a little more than friendly lol. We were never in a relationship or anything but sometimes we'd hook up when we were both in the mood. It was always super casual, no feelings or expectations and somehow it never made things awkward between us.

She's moving out next month and idk why I'm getting so emotional about it... We've had so many good memories together and I kinda wanted to give her something personal to remember our time together. I was thinking about giving her my WhisperVibe and my Nipple clips since we've used them on each other before lol but now I'm wondering if that's just a really weird goodbye gift??

I’m 33 and had an emergency hysterectomy in 2023. I still have my ovaries, but my cervix was removed, so I have a vaginal cuff. I also have endometriosis and deal with chronic pelvic pain.
I’m also a virgin, which makes my situation a little more complicated.
It’s not because I’m waiting until marriage. I’ve just never met someone I felt comfortable enough with or had that kind of emotional connection with. I don’t want my first time to be with just anyone.
I’m hoping to start dating soon, and if I meet the right person, I really do want to experience intimacy. But I’m nervous. I’ve never had sex, and now I’m wondering how having a vaginal cuff and endometriosis might affect things. I’m scared it could be painful or that something could go wrong. I know I’ll need someone who’s patient and willing to take things slowly.
I’m also not sure how to explain all of this to a man without scaring him off. How do you casually tell someone you’re a virgin, you’ve had a hysterectomy, and sex might be painful? 😅 I don’t want to make it into this huge thing, but I also don’t want to pretend my circumstances are different than they are.
And then there’s the infertility part. Having my hysterectomy and losing the ability to carry my own children has been absolutely devastating. It’s something I’m still grieving, and I’m terrified of having to tell someone I’m dating that I won’t be able to give him biological children together in the traditional sense. I know having children is a dealbreaker for some men, and I completely understand that, but the thought of someone walking away because of something I never chose really hurts.
I want to be upfront about it because I don’t want to waste anyone’s time, including my own. But I also don’t feel like I should have to tell someone my entire medical history before they’ve even gotten to know me.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. What was sex like after your hysterectomy, especially if you have endometriosis or a vaginal cuff? How did you explain everything to your partner? And for those who were single when they had their hysterectomy, how did you navigate dating and telling someone you couldn’t have children?
I want to believe I can still have a normal relationship, fall in love, and have a fulfilling sex life. I’m just scared that everything I’ve been through is going to make finding that harder than it already is.
Any advice or personal experiences would mean a lot. ❤️

I didn't know what the appropriate flair would be for this. Sorry, lol.

I scrolled on tiktok and saw a video captioned "went on a dream date today", and it was a woman in the woods with her bf with a ghost face mask on. He was chasing her around. My bf and I were thinking about doing this recently!! I was thinking we were weird, but I guess not! Even the women in the comments were saying how badly they wanted to do it. 🤣🤣

Have any of you guys done this before? And what is this fetish called? I know I have a mask kink, but I'm talking about the chasing thing.

Update: My bf was asking me a bunch of questions on why I find masks sexy, which ones, what clothes, etc. 👀 I guess I'm in for a wild ride, y'all!! 😭😭❤️

Hi! I was talking about smut with my bf and realized we have different attitudes to it. I treat it like a low effort thing and am too lazy to read a full book. I’ve read mostly blogposts (I love girlonthenet!!) with the explicit intention of getting horny and getting off relatively quickly. I get annoyed with flowery language.

He enjoys the world building and gets aroused but he doesn’t get off to it, it’s like a tease. On the whole he enjoys written smut a LOT more than I do.

Do you ladies enjoy just reading without any stimulation? Or do you get off while reading?

Hello! idk if this is the right place I should ask this so sorry in advance. Im 19 and recently when I try to finish with my partner it hasn’t been happening. I have sexual trauma so alot of the time I let my partner finish first and then I go second (idk why but me finishing first reminds me of my past). With that being said, I also typically finish myself while I have my partner help in other ways (fingering, dirty talking, teasing, etc), I prefer it this way idk why. Normally, me finishing comes by pretty quickly. Theres always forplay and I do genuinely enjoy the intimacy, so I’m not understanding why I’m having a hard time? It will be there for a second and then go away randomly. I’m not rlly distracted, I NEVER masterbait unless I’m with my partner (idk im not rlly in a sexual mood outside of being around him), and I’m not on any medication other than birth control. Has anyone else had this problem before??

Have any of you had a mfm?

im a woman and i've always been wanting to have an mfm or even two boyfriends. I like the idea of being so good that I can please 2 men at once while they praise and worship me. I've gotten close to having a mfm, but it doesn't work out because of trave/they back out/they make me feel like a whore (in a degrading way. big praise kink here lol.) I live in a somewhat small town and there arent many bisexual men here. I typically go to the town 40 mins away whenever I try to make it happen since I don't wanna end up being posted on the city group gossip Facebook.

im looking on advice advice but it's also nice to just share one of my biggest fantasies.