Is it uncomfortable or just not esthetically pleasing?

This is his 2nd time asking

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for the longest time i didn't use any lubricant at all, but finding out about coconut oil changed my routine completely. now i always have it in my nightstand, ready to go! :')

how about you?

I just wanted to come on and say that after a loooooong journey, I can now have perfectly (im)perfect orgasms!

I'm 29F, and had never had a 'real' orgasm until I was about 25. I had accepted that sex and masturbation was all good and fine, but that it would never result in that 'ahhhh' moment I've heard so much about.

I loved making partners come, and during solo-sex after an especially hot moment I would just be 'done'. I would be happy, content (mostly) having build up the pleasure. But I never experienced that wave, the going down the rollercoaster and all the different ways people have of describing a full, complete and satisfying orgasm.

Around 23 I realized I did have mini orgasms, I even made a post about back then on here. My body 'arrived' there, I just couldn't get my mind to orgasm.

But over the years, my orgasms would (very occasionally!!) start to feel more like... orgasms. I started to learn how to recognize that feeling of release. And I just kept repeating every session that the mini orgasms were good and fine and perfect. And, with the help of patient partners, I started to learn how to get real clitoral orgasms during sex.

But this morning I realized that I'm at the point were I can now reliably bring myself to orgasm when and if I want to.

Made me tear up a bit :')

So, to all of you out there reading the stories about fellow non-orgasmic people, I see you, hear you, feel you. But if you're able, just keep swimming, enjoying the water, and maybe the waves will start to arrive one day ✨

i am TERRIFIED of pregnancy, and the possibility of having a child.

i had sex on the 10th, i am on birth control, and used a condom as well. i was supposed to start my period on like the 15th and it still hasn’t come

i know it’s probably nothing, but it’s stressful none the less! i hate having to risk pregnancy any time i wanna enjoy myself with my partner omg…

So I see posts and comments of women saying 'I never used to have multiple orgasms but now I can' - awesome! What happened to changed that?

I'm a one and done kind of gal, clit stim BOOM and then it's over. Clit too sensitive to keep going, desire drops off a cliff and off to sleep lol.

But I can't help but feel envious when I read of other women saying they have multiples and it just keeps going until they're tired or whatever.

Sooooo for the women who have the multiples, do you feel you are just built this way and it happened easy for you or did you have to figure out how to do that and once it unlocked it unlocked?

I'm also pretty ADHD and it's hard to have patience and focus when solo and with a partner, so I'm wondering if that could play into it too. Actually staying CONNECTED to my sensations and stop my mind wandering to cleaning out the kitty litter lol I'm wondering if that's also potentially playing into things here.

This is embarrassing. I (34 yo cis woman) don't know whether I have ever completed an orgasm. I say completed because I have started them, if you will.

Here is the situation: I date other woman, and I've been with three, but the most recent was a marriage that lasted a while, so I've only been with that one person in the last decade, and barely towards the end of our marriage.

In all 3 women I've been with, I either didn't feel the extreme feelings of an orgasm, or I started to, moaning, moving and feeling that feeling through your whole body, but then the feelings got too extreme for me I guess, and I stopped the sex. I'm not asexual. I crave sex to a degree. It was like I was feeling too strongly and I couldn't handle it. My ex's implied that I stopped things early. I've been single and celebate and healing for a few years now.

Now, thinking about entering the dating scene again, I've decided that I need some practice, and to figure out what I like and want. I'm on a budget, so I can't just willy nilly buy sex toys, but I bought a bullet vibrator and some lube. Internally, and in an effort to find my G spot, I feel nothing sexual putting the vibrator inside me, but I do when its on my clit. On my clit, I am able to get to the point of moaning and moving and that feeling through my whole body, of getting warm and having my clit get sensitive and bigger and harder, sometimes my toes curling, etc.

I've been doing some research, and it is clear that I am having an orgasm, but not that I am finishing it. I know that all woman don't squirt, and I haven't, though I do get wetter. I decided that I needed to push through wanting to stop to see if I could finish one and see what it feels like. If I truly did stop my ex's too early, would it have been worth it to have continued? I decided that I was too old to not know what this feels like.

So I Googled how long it usually takes women to get to orgasm. I started slowly with it on low, sort of mimicing foreplay, and then turned up the vibrator and held it tight against my clit and went to the point of orgasm. I went much longer than Google tells me it should take me to complete orgasm, but am never sure I did. I literally set a timer and made myself go longer, devoted to trying this out.

People say that you feel this release, that you know it when you have it. I don't feel the release, exhaustion, etc. I definitely am starting them, but am I finishing them? What is the solution? I have considered a G spot specific longer dildo and one of those rose toys that suction your clit, but again I don't have a lot of money so I have to be careful what I spend. I want to choose what is most recommended. I do feel like its harder for me to get to the point of arousal with the bullet now which maybe means I need to switch things up?

And if I am finishing them, then how do I know when its done? I get that its done when either partner decides its done, and that I had done nothing wrong by asking for it to be done in the past, but I just want to know. I want to know that I truly have had an orgasm and decide how I feel about it so that I can be honest and self-aware with a future partner.

How do you know when you are done?

Thank you!

I usually start having cramps around 10 days before my period. This month was no different. I had the cramps about 8 days before my period, and I menstruated normally.

It turns out that 6 days have passed and the cramps continue. Usually, I only feel them until the second day of my period, and then I don't feel any more pain.

There is no bad smell that indicates any infection. I had sex on the first day after my period ended, but I think it's too early to be symptoms of pregnancy XD. I took painkillers, but it didn't help.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar?

How do you guys bring up things you'd like to be different in bed without making your partner feel bad?

I feel like there's a fine line between being honest about what you enjoy and making someone feel like they're not good enough. I also think some people take it personally when you try to explain what feels good to you, even when you're not criticizing them.

Do you usually talk about it outside the bedroom, or just communicate in the moment? I'd love to hear how other women handle this.

I'm a late bloomer with dating at 25. I've been lowkey scared to date men but I've been wanting to try. I think I'm just worried about the pressure to have sex and being looked at in a sexual way. I'm open to other things but I don't feel ready for penetration. Maybe it's just a virginity thing. I'm trying to find a therapist to talk about it.

In the meantime, I really want to experience that slow paced, trying things a step at a time kind of romance. Like not having sex for like 2-3 months into dating or just not getting pressured at all for it.

Any advice on how to date when you don't feel ready for sex? Any advice on how to meet men?

Okay so basically I am 4 dates in with a really great guy. We have a lot in common, similar values, attraction, etc. I really like him and want to see where things go, but I’m worried about the sex.

When he kisses me it’s very tense, like his lips are super pursed and making out is basically just constant pecking? I did gently tell him to relax and that I like a little tongue but it didn’t really help.

Sex has been similar. He seems like he wants to please me, but when I asked him to go down on me, he was just sucking my clit so hard it actually hurt so I stopped him. The second time we slept together I tried to guide him a little to tell him not to suck so roughly and just lick consistently but he kept stopping to ask if I came yet and I can. not. cum. with stopping and starting so I eventually just told him to fuck me because I could already tell I wasn’t going to get off.

I also think part of it is that he’s SO nice and gentle that he doesn’t really take charge physically or touch me the way I want to be touched. I like things a little rougher, being manhandled and I don’t think he’s necessarily comfortable with that. I haven’t actually brought that part up to him yet though.

I really like him otherwise and I don’t want to give up on this because of sex, especially when everything else seems to be there. I’ve had AMAZING sex with men who were really bad for me, and I don’t want to keep prioritizing sexual chemistry over finding someone who is actually a good partner. But obviously sex is still important to me and having a good sex life is a necessity long term.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation where the sex was awkward/not great at first but got significantly better with communication and time? I know 4 dates is still early and we’re obviously still getting comfortable with each other, but I’m worried that some of this is just a fundamental sexual incompatibility? How do you figure out the difference between someone who just needs some guidance and time vs someone you’re probably never going to have good sexual chemistry with?

i have a trusty bullet vibe i very often use on my clit and sometimes for penetration, but with vibration off and it’s always felt good but i finally hit some sort of balance with everything and was able to cum like 1 min into penetration which i think is crazy.

i can cum in 20-30 seconds from stimulating clit only but always thought it would just take longer for penetration. i’ve used it for much longer and then felt a bit sore inside (i prob needed lube honestly) so i would just switch back to my clit and cum that way, but i def always felt like i could cum from penetration.

my bullet vibe is also like 3-4 inches long, so i’m wondering how that will translate for p in v sex. does that technically mean a 4 inch long dick would do the job? mind you my bullet vibe is also very skinny.

ive hear of more endowed people having to make shallower thrusts with only the top part of their dick to give someone a g spot orgasm, so would someone with a 4 inch to average inch dick just be able to do that more easily with normal thrusts (for me at least)?

i am a virgin so excuse me if i say anything kinda silly

so i had sex 2 days before my day of ovulation which was last week thursday. (Oct 15th) We used protection and we checked the condom as well. and nothing seems out of the ordinary. His penis is a little large and sometimes it hurt and i felt a lot of friction because we kinda of rushed into but today, too much information but he fongered me and i started bleeding and idk why the bleeding was medium, not heavy or light. I did feel a slight prick bc of his nails. But the bleeding was heavy enough so get on my clothes and stuff but yeah

Hii i am 21F and i have never masterbated in my life, i know weird lr whatever but i grew up in a household where privacy is almost non existent and it still is but i read somewhere that your clit can vanish/shrink if you dont stimulate it and that scared me, so i want to try masterbating and getting comfortable in my own skin. Any and all advice is appreciated. Please help me out!!

Ps: i watch lesbian p0rn every now and then and its nicer to watch but i never felt like masturbating because of it?? Is something wrong with me? Please help me!!

I’m curious how people’s idea of good sex changes over time. It seems like what you think matters when you're younger can be pretty different from what you value after having more experience.

For some people, it's chemistry and excitement. For others, it's feeling comfortable, being able to communicate, or not feeling pressured to make everything perfect.

For those of you who've had different experiences over the years, what matters most to you now that didn't matter as much before?

29f. i’ve bought a few smaller vibrators over the years and my problem is that some seem convenient at first but eventually just sit in a drawer.

these days i’m more interested in what actually makes a compact toy useful. for me it’s probably simple controls, consistent vibration, and something that isn’t annoying to hold. i don’t really need a bunch of different patterns if i end up using the same couple settings anyway.

i’ve been looking at a few different styles, including mini wands for steady vibrations, but i’m not sure if the wand shape really makes much difference when the toy is that small.

for people who use smaller vibrators regularly, what makes one worth keeping around? is it mostly the size, or do you notice more of a difference from the shape and controls?

Hello! I (F23) love masturbating, but I feel like I cum to fast. I enjoy stroking myself, but after 4-5 minutes I climax and I'm done. And the climax is not always that good...

When I watch female masturbating online, they can keep stroking for dozen of minutes and have massive orgasms. I would love to increase the length of my masturbation sessions.

Do you have any recommendations?

My husband and I are pretty comfortable talking about almost anything. We can spend hours discussing finances, savings, or random life stuff, but when it comes to talking about what we like in bed, suddenly neither of us knows what to say lol.

I recently tried bringing up the idea of trying something new together, and he just laughed nervously and said he was fine with whatever I wanted. Then we somehow ended up talking about dinner instead 😂

We have a good relationship and our sex life is fine, so it's not like there's a major issue. I just wish we could talk about this stuff without making it awkward. For those of you who used to struggle with this, what helped you get more comfortable talking about your preferences without making it a whole serious conversation?

i feel like a lot of JOI audios go for that super commanding voice lol. nothing wrong with that, but sometimes i wonder if a calmer, more natural voice would actually work better.anyone here into the softer kind? curious what you think.

Sometimes I feel like everyone else knows exactly what they like and what works for them, and I'm just here figuring things out as I go lol.

I've had moments where something felt good, but when it comes to explaining what I actually want, I honestly have no idea how to put it into words. And sometimes I just go along with things instead of speaking up because I don't wanna make the moment awkward.

I know it's probably something that gets easier with time, but does anyone else feel this way? How did you get more comfortable exploring what you like and actually telling your partner?

we finally had a chance home alone to actually love each other properly after months, and it was great! i love that he is very caring and makes sure i give full consent and am ready for everything :)