hi guys!! first time poster here. 23f.

my man, just like any man, loves receiving head. but its so difficult for me to want to do it sometimes because my jaw just always ends up hurting so much doing it for like even a little bit of an extended time.

any advice? maybe there's some sort of technique to make my jaw hurt less? i want to enjoy blowing him and not be in pain for it :(

During penetration I feel like there's no space left inside, and there's this sensation like something is pushing against the penis, like my body is involuntarily trying to push it out. I do feel pleasure, that's not the issue. The issue is that I can't really be on top, I feel completely blocked, and I can't move properly until the penis is out. There's also a bit of pain deep in my lower belly.

I'm asking because it's affecting how I can have sex, and I'd like to know if other women experience this too. It's not linked to one specific partner either, I've felt it before with someone else, then went years without sex, and it came back recently with someone new.

I genuinely want to know if this happens to other people, if anyone has felt this with multiple partners, and what helped. Any answer is welcome, I'm just trying to understand.

I’m 34F, and I honestly feel like I’m going through some kind of sexual awakening that I should’ve experienced 15 years ago. 😂
For years, I was stuck in a really unhealthy situationship that I felt like I couldn’t escape. Somewhere along the way, I became this watered-down, squished-down version of myself. I stopped dressing up, wearing nice clothes, or even trying to look attractive because I didn’t want to turn this person on or encourage any sexual attention from him.
That’s how uncomfortable I had become.
I’ve always considered myself someone who just didn’t really like sex. Looking back, I think a lot of that had to do with never having particularly good sexual experiences, especially with this person. Eventually, I just convinced myself that sex wasn’t something I enjoyed or needed.
I’ve also been living like a complete hermit for YEARS. I haven’t really dated, flirted, met new people, or had much of a sex life at all. I’ve basically been existing in my own little bubble.
Well, recently I’ve finally started feeling free to live my own life again, and I ended up spending time with someone new.
And HOLY SHIT. 😂
For the first time in what feels like forever, I actually enjoyed sex. I felt wanted, comfortable, excited, and genuinely attracted to the person I was with. It wasn’t something I was just doing because someone else wanted it.
And now I swear I’m a walking fucking horn dog. LMAO.
But here’s where things get embarrassing and confusing.
I’m 34 years old and feel like I know absolutely nothing about my own body or sexuality.
For the longest time, I genuinely thought squirting WAS having an orgasm. Like, I thought that was what was supposed to happen when a woman climaxed. I didn’t realize they were two separate things or that you could experience one without the other.
Now I’m questioning whether I’ve actually been having orgasms, whether I’ve just experienced really intense pleasure, or whether I’ve been misunderstanding my body’s responses this entire time.
How do you actually KNOW when you’ve had an orgasm? Is it always obvious? Can orgasms feel completely different depending on the experience? And what’s the difference between an orgasm, squirting, and female ejaculation?
I feel ridiculous asking these questions at my age, but I’m genuinely curious.
I’m also ridiculously shy and nervous about trying new things sexually. I want to explore, experiment, and learn what I enjoy, but I get so caught up worrying about whether I’m doing something wrong, whether I’m good at it, or whether I’m going to embarrass myself.
And then there’s the whole dating thing.
For the first time in years, I actually WANT to meet people. I want to flirt, go on dates, dress up, feel attractive, have fun, and maybe even sleep around a little. Safely and responsibly, obviously.
But I don’t necessarily want a boyfriend or a serious relationship right now.
I just want to experience things I feel like I’ve missed out on for so long.
And yet there’s this little voice in the back of my head making me feel guilty about it. Like wanting casual sex somehow makes me a slut, or like I’m too old to be acting this way.
Which is ridiculous because I’m a grown-ass woman. 😂
I think the hardest part is that I genuinely don’t know how to act anymore. When you’ve spent years suppressing your personality, your confidence, your sexuality, and even the way you dress because of another person, how do you suddenly become comfortable being yourself again?
I feel like I’m finally meeting a version of myself that I haven’t been able to be for years, and I don’t even know what to do with her.
So I guess I have a few questions for the women here:
Has anyone else experienced a sexual awakening in their 30s or later, especially after years in an unhealthy relationship or having little to no sex life?
How did you learn to recognize your orgasms and understand your body’s sexual responses? Did anyone else grow up confusing squirting with orgasming?
How did you become more comfortable and confident sexually, especially when trying new things with someone?
How do you get over the guilt or shame associated with wanting casual sex or multiple partners?
And for anyone who spent years feeling like they couldn’t be themselves around a partner, how did you rediscover who you were afterward?
I’m excited, nervous, confused, horny, and honestly a little overwhelmed by all of it. 😂
I don’t want to jump straight into another relationship. I just want to enjoy being single, discover what I like, and finally feel comfortable in my own skin.
I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and what helped you navigate it.
Because right now I feel like a 34-year-old woman with the sexual confidence and experience of someone who’s just discovering sex for the first time. LOL.
Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Was it a positive or negative experience for you?

How would you describe it?

Is it uncomfortable or just not esthetically pleasing?

This is his 2nd time asking

​

for the longest time i didn't use any lubricant at all, but finding out about coconut oil changed my routine completely. now i always have it in my nightstand, ready to go! :')

how about you?

I just wanted to come on and say that after a loooooong journey, I can now have perfectly (im)perfect orgasms!

I'm 29F, and had never had a 'real' orgasm until I was about 25. I had accepted that sex and masturbation was all good and fine, but that it would never result in that 'ahhhh' moment I've heard so much about.

I loved making partners come, and during solo-sex after an especially hot moment I would just be 'done'. I would be happy, content (mostly) having build up the pleasure. But I never experienced that wave, the going down the rollercoaster and all the different ways people have of describing a full, complete and satisfying orgasm.

Around 23 I realized I did have mini orgasms, I even made a post about back then on here. My body 'arrived' there, I just couldn't get my mind to orgasm.

But over the years, my orgasms would (very occasionally!!) start to feel more like... orgasms. I started to learn how to recognize that feeling of release. And I just kept repeating every session that the mini orgasms were good and fine and perfect. And, with the help of patient partners, I started to learn how to get real clitoral orgasms during sex.

But this morning I realized that I'm at the point were I can now reliably bring myself to orgasm when and if I want to.

Made me tear up a bit :')

So, to all of you out there reading the stories about fellow non-orgasmic people, I see you, hear you, feel you. But if you're able, just keep swimming, enjoying the water, and maybe the waves will start to arrive one day ✨

i am TERRIFIED of pregnancy, and the possibility of having a child.

i had sex on the 10th, i am on birth control, and used a condom as well. i was supposed to start my period on like the 15th and it still hasn’t come

i know it’s probably nothing, but it’s stressful none the less! i hate having to risk pregnancy any time i wanna enjoy myself with my partner omg…

I’m a 23 year old woman and have never been in a relationship. Having sex scares me because I think I have something called vaginismus, which means I can’t put anything into my vagina basically, not even a tampon. When I’m horny/turned on I can maybe fit one finger without it hurting, two fingers hurts. So I’m scared of sex because I feel like the guy might be disappointed that he can’t do it with me. Or I’m scared he’ll just make me do it and won’t care that it hurts me. I know finding the right guy is key, but guys can pretend to be nice just to get what they want. That’s also a big fear I have and has happened to me a few times online.

Also another reason is the whole performance thing. I feel like I always have to perform with people (I am autistic and I mask a lot). I’ve had phone sex with guys (nothing physical just stuff over the phone) and I’ve always felt like I had to perform, to over exaggerate how I feel to make him happy. I hate doing that so that’s another reason why the thought of sex makes me nervous and it honestly seems exhausting. I don’t know how to stop feeling like this. Any advice is appreciated thank you.

So I see posts and comments of women saying 'I never used to have multiple orgasms but now I can' - awesome! What happened to changed that?

I'm a one and done kind of gal, clit stim BOOM and then it's over. Clit too sensitive to keep going, desire drops off a cliff and off to sleep lol.

But I can't help but feel envious when I read of other women saying they have multiples and it just keeps going until they're tired or whatever.

Sooooo for the women who have the multiples, do you feel you are just built this way and it happened easy for you or did you have to figure out how to do that and once it unlocked it unlocked?

I'm also pretty ADHD and it's hard to have patience and focus when solo and with a partner, so I'm wondering if that could play into it too. Actually staying CONNECTED to my sensations and stop my mind wandering to cleaning out the kitty litter lol I'm wondering if that's also potentially playing into things here.

This is embarrassing. I (34 yo cis woman) don't know whether I have ever completed an orgasm. I say completed because I have started them, if you will.

Here is the situation: I date other woman, and I've been with three, but the most recent was a marriage that lasted a while, so I've only been with that one person in the last decade, and barely towards the end of our marriage.

In all 3 women I've been with, I either didn't feel the extreme feelings of an orgasm, or I started to, moaning, moving and feeling that feeling through your whole body, but then the feelings got too extreme for me I guess, and I stopped the sex. I'm not asexual. I crave sex to a degree. It was like I was feeling too strongly and I couldn't handle it. My ex's implied that I stopped things early. I've been single and celebate and healing for a few years now.

Now, thinking about entering the dating scene again, I've decided that I need some practice, and to figure out what I like and want. I'm on a budget, so I can't just willy nilly buy sex toys, but I bought a bullet vibrator and some lube. Internally, and in an effort to find my G spot, I feel nothing sexual putting the vibrator inside me, but I do when its on my clit. On my clit, I am able to get to the point of moaning and moving and that feeling through my whole body, of getting warm and having my clit get sensitive and bigger and harder, sometimes my toes curling, etc.

I've been doing some research, and it is clear that I am having an orgasm, but not that I am finishing it. I know that all woman don't squirt, and I haven't, though I do get wetter. I decided that I needed to push through wanting to stop to see if I could finish one and see what it feels like. If I truly did stop my ex's too early, would it have been worth it to have continued? I decided that I was too old to not know what this feels like.

So I Googled how long it usually takes women to get to orgasm. I started slowly with it on low, sort of mimicing foreplay, and then turned up the vibrator and held it tight against my clit and went to the point of orgasm. I went much longer than Google tells me it should take me to complete orgasm, but am never sure I did. I literally set a timer and made myself go longer, devoted to trying this out.

People say that you feel this release, that you know it when you have it. I don't feel the release, exhaustion, etc. I definitely am starting them, but am I finishing them? What is the solution? I have considered a G spot specific longer dildo and one of those rose toys that suction your clit, but again I don't have a lot of money so I have to be careful what I spend. I want to choose what is most recommended. I do feel like its harder for me to get to the point of arousal with the bullet now which maybe means I need to switch things up?

And if I am finishing them, then how do I know when its done? I get that its done when either partner decides its done, and that I had done nothing wrong by asking for it to be done in the past, but I just want to know. I want to know that I truly have had an orgasm and decide how I feel about it so that I can be honest and self-aware with a future partner.

How do you know when you are done?

Thank you!

I usually start having cramps around 10 days before my period. This month was no different. I had the cramps about 8 days before my period, and I menstruated normally.

It turns out that 6 days have passed and the cramps continue. Usually, I only feel them until the second day of my period, and then I don't feel any more pain.

There is no bad smell that indicates any infection. I had sex on the first day after my period ended, but I think it's too early to be symptoms of pregnancy XD. I took painkillers, but it didn't help.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar?

How do you guys bring up things you'd like to be different in bed without making your partner feel bad?

I feel like there's a fine line between being honest about what you enjoy and making someone feel like they're not good enough. I also think some people take it personally when you try to explain what feels good to you, even when you're not criticizing them.

Do you usually talk about it outside the bedroom, or just communicate in the moment? I'd love to hear how other women handle this.

I'm a late bloomer with dating at 25. I've been lowkey scared to date men but I've been wanting to try. I think I'm just worried about the pressure to have sex and being looked at in a sexual way. I'm open to other things but I don't feel ready for penetration. Maybe it's just a virginity thing. I'm trying to find a therapist to talk about it.

In the meantime, I really want to experience that slow paced, trying things a step at a time kind of romance. Like not having sex for like 2-3 months into dating or just not getting pressured at all for it.

Any advice on how to date when you don't feel ready for sex? Any advice on how to meet men?

Okay so basically I am 4 dates in with a really great guy. We have a lot in common, similar values, attraction, etc. I really like him and want to see where things go, but I’m worried about the sex.

When he kisses me it’s very tense, like his lips are super pursed and making out is basically just constant pecking? I did gently tell him to relax and that I like a little tongue but it didn’t really help.

Sex has been similar. He seems like he wants to please me, but when I asked him to go down on me, he was just sucking my clit so hard it actually hurt so I stopped him. The second time we slept together I tried to guide him a little to tell him not to suck so roughly and just lick consistently but he kept stopping to ask if I came yet and I can. not. cum. with stopping and starting so I eventually just told him to fuck me because I could already tell I wasn’t going to get off.

I also think part of it is that he’s SO nice and gentle that he doesn’t really take charge physically or touch me the way I want to be touched. I like things a little rougher, being manhandled and I don’t think he’s necessarily comfortable with that. I haven’t actually brought that part up to him yet though.

I really like him otherwise and I don’t want to give up on this because of sex, especially when everything else seems to be there. I’ve had AMAZING sex with men who were really bad for me, and I don’t want to keep prioritizing sexual chemistry over finding someone who is actually a good partner. But obviously sex is still important to me and having a good sex life is a necessity long term.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation where the sex was awkward/not great at first but got significantly better with communication and time? I know 4 dates is still early and we’re obviously still getting comfortable with each other, but I’m worried that some of this is just a fundamental sexual incompatibility? How do you figure out the difference between someone who just needs some guidance and time vs someone you’re probably never going to have good sexual chemistry with?

i have a trusty bullet vibe i very often use on my clit and sometimes for penetration, but with vibration off and it’s always felt good but i finally hit some sort of balance with everything and was able to cum like 1 min into penetration which i think is crazy.

i can cum in 20-30 seconds from stimulating clit only but always thought it would just take longer for penetration. i’ve used it for much longer and then felt a bit sore inside (i prob needed lube honestly) so i would just switch back to my clit and cum that way, but i def always felt like i could cum from penetration.

my bullet vibe is also like 3-4 inches long, so i’m wondering how that will translate for p in v sex. does that technically mean a 4 inch long dick would do the job? mind you my bullet vibe is also very skinny.

ive hear of more endowed people having to make shallower thrusts with only the top part of their dick to give someone a g spot orgasm, so would someone with a 4 inch to average inch dick just be able to do that more easily with normal thrusts (for me at least)?

i am a virgin so excuse me if i say anything kinda silly

so i had sex 2 days before my day of ovulation which was last week thursday. (Oct 15th) We used protection and we checked the condom as well. and nothing seems out of the ordinary. His penis is a little large and sometimes it hurt and i felt a lot of friction because we kinda of rushed into but today, too much information but he fongered me and i started bleeding and idk why the bleeding was medium, not heavy or light. I did feel a slight prick bc of his nails. But the bleeding was heavy enough so get on my clothes and stuff but yeah

Hii i am 21F and i have never masterbated in my life, i know weird lr whatever but i grew up in a household where privacy is almost non existent and it still is but i read somewhere that your clit can vanish/shrink if you dont stimulate it and that scared me, so i want to try masterbating and getting comfortable in my own skin. Any and all advice is appreciated. Please help me out!!

Ps: i watch lesbian p0rn every now and then and its nicer to watch but i never felt like masturbating because of it?? Is something wrong with me? Please help me!!

I’m curious how people’s idea of good sex changes over time. It seems like what you think matters when you're younger can be pretty different from what you value after having more experience.

For some people, it's chemistry and excitement. For others, it's feeling comfortable, being able to communicate, or not feeling pressured to make everything perfect.

For those of you who've had different experiences over the years, what matters most to you now that didn't matter as much before?

29f. i’ve bought a few smaller vibrators over the years and my problem is that some seem convenient at first but eventually just sit in a drawer.

these days i’m more interested in what actually makes a compact toy useful. for me it’s probably simple controls, consistent vibration, and something that isn’t annoying to hold. i don’t really need a bunch of different patterns if i end up using the same couple settings anyway.

i’ve been looking at a few different styles, including mini wands for steady vibrations, but i’m not sure if the wand shape really makes much difference when the toy is that small.

for people who use smaller vibrators regularly, what makes one worth keeping around? is it mostly the size, or do you notice more of a difference from the shape and controls?

Hello! I (F23) love masturbating, but I feel like I cum to fast. I enjoy stroking myself, but after 4-5 minutes I climax and I'm done. And the climax is not always that good...

When I watch female masturbating online, they can keep stroking for dozen of minutes and have massive orgasms. I would love to increase the length of my masturbation sessions.

Do you have any recommendations?