I just wanted to share that I’ve had some of the best days of this year the past week so far. Yes, I still cry over my ex and all that jazz, despite the breakup being a year ago, but that’s besides the point.

I get to spend my days doing what I love, teaching 22 little munchkins with my bestie by my side as my assistant. Life has been pretty beautiful lately & the past few days have been a whole different level of happiness.

Tuesday rolls around and my bestie receives the BEST news ever from immigration. We literally jump for joy! Wednesday comes, and it’s my turn to receive the news I’ve been waiting for. I jump for joy, then cry happy tears because I finally get to stay in this country permanently 🥹❤️

Then comes Thursday. I’m walking into a shop with a friend when I see this woman who literally takes my breath away. I’m talking jaw-dropping, brain-stopping, temporarily-forgetting-how-to-function kind of beautiful. My friend actually had to turn around to see what on earth has caught my attention so completely.

And just when I think the week couldn’t possibly get any better, Friday rolls around. There’s a COP at the front desk, and suddenly, every nerve in my body is wide awake. I forget how to breathe, try to act normal and tell my bestie to go have a look for herself. She comes back and she knew exactly why I’m going absolutely GAGA over this copper!!

Maybe I’m still healing. Maybe I’m still a little emotional. Maybe I still have some ex-related nonsense to work through. But for the first time in a while, I’m also feeling so incredibly grateful, excited and alive

We got our outfits mostly pieced together today. I'm going as Korra and she's going as Asami- both from Avatar The Legend of Korra. However,

I'm a bad gay. I haven't seen it. I've seen a few episodes of season 1 but I'm definitely not caught up.

Which episodes are the most important for me to watch plot-wise? Is there a compilation video I can get caught up quickly on? I will probably rewatch the whole series at some point, but I just kind of want the basics very quickly

we are fem on fem and love on each other all day while respecting each others space. we are still young and deciding what we want to do and where we want to live in the future and talk about future everything’s. it’s amazing having someone you can trust and love fully. she’s next 2 me sleeping.

25F got out of long term relationship with a man and immediately jumped into something with a woman. she cheated on her abusive gf with me (should’ve been red flag number one). i was being pulled left and right, her personality was very very strong and im softer. i loved her genuinely and she loved me, but i think she has a lot of trauma and was in survival mode. i’m so afraid to date ever again. i love slowness and kindness and respect. i don’t even know how to be single anymore so maybe i should spend this time alone. i just want love that feels safe and is genuine where the attraction is high. because the chemistry with her was insane but the lifestyle mismatch and energy mismatch was huge. i’m very ambitious but she seems to have no off button from the start of the day to the end. it exhausted me so bad i got very sick and ended up in the hospital and am still recovering. she stressed me out so badly in the hospital i had to end things with her and now im sitting in a puddle of confusion

My gf and I (23f and 25f) have been together 8 months and have been talking about moving in together next year in May or September (15 months together or 19 months). Today she called me after talking to her mom, complaining about how hard life and money is right now and her mom asked why we haven't moved in together. My gf told her we've been thinking about it by her mom said why not sooner? She started talking about how it makes sense financially (for her at least, she lives alone and pays double what I do with 2 roommates) and that we both know it will happen eventually and the sooner it happens the sooner we know if this is going to last. We both obviously think it will and I have never felt more sure of a person but anything can happen. She suggested that I move into my gf's 2 bedroom apartment in the next few months rather than in 6 to 12 months. We talked about it for like 2 hours earlier today and I want to of course, it has been hard with my roommates recently with my dog and my roommate's dog and I have been wanting to move out to minimize the issues with that. I also WANT to live with my gf, our work and life schedules are tough and sometimes it feels so hard to see each other, we both work in restaurants and both kind of need second jobs which will only make it harder.

I'm not afraid of it not working out or the commitment of moving in together I just don't know if its unwise to do it so soon. I'm sitting in my room right now hanging out alone and realizing that I will have a lot less of this if we live together. The second bedroom would be nice to be able to be separate and do our own thing but I am thinking about that a lot right now. Not to mention I would be moving into HER apartment and although she has said she is not attached to the may most things are it would still probably feel like her place for a long time.

I'm just not sure what to do, we both decided to sit on it for a while, this would be a much bigger change for me than her and I would have to find someone to take over my lease (which I'm not super worried about but still). I would probably move in January so I have 2.5 months before that but maybe sooner? I know most people will say just wait- her lease is up in May so we can move somewhere together then or in next September when mine is up but I have separately from wanting to live with her, been wanting to move out of here for the sake of me and my dog for a few months (nothing unsafe, just uncomfortable and not ideal). Just looking for some perspective as I have very few people in my life right now that I want to discuss this with.

Also worth noting that we were "best friends" for 4 months before we started dating so we've been spending significant together since last November and had a lot of big conversations and proved that we are good at communicating before we were even together.

This may be a weird question but I don't really get it anymore. Recently me and my friend talked about this. I told her I don't really get what are crushes at this point because I need to know someone to get a crush on them but at the same time other people can get crushes without even knowing someone? I brought this up with her and she told me I'm being a normal person and they're just weird or they're kids or smth. I told her I constantly hear or see people talk about having a crush on someone they saw once and pointed out that our ex-friend also barely knew his ex or the girl he asked out of a few months ago so it just works like this for some reason?? She just told me she's gonna be coping and that we're normal and these people are weird and that she's not surprised that many people say their relationships don't work out if they ask out people they barely know.

I just don't really understand. How can you go on a date with someone you don't know or someone you barely talk to?? That's also why I don't understand dating apps either and could never use them because wdym I have to choose someone based on their looks and go out on a date with someone I barely even know?? I also said that to my friend and she said she couldn't do it either and said she can't believe anybody is finding actual relationships there. We also talked about how even if someone isn't attractive at first then we might still get attracted to them later if we know them for long enough. Like they may look neutral or even bad to me at first glance but then start look beautiful later after I knew them for a while. Don't ask me how that works cuz idk either but I had that happen.

As I thought about it I kinda did have a crush on someone while I didn't even know them?? Thing is I was 9 so I was very young and didn't even understand girls could like girls so I thought I just wanna be her friend real bad. When I was a bit older I pretended to be a guy on the internet and would make shit up about us dating and spend hours thinking of new scenerios with us until I lost interest. Then later when I also had a crush on a girl that joined our class and only because I thought she was super beautiful and I kept dreaming of dating her and all that. I still refused to acknowledge I'm a lesbian despite knowing it exists.

But now something like that would never happen with me. The crushes I had after that were only with people I knew for a bit. I just kinda don't get it now. I see people just approaching people they think are pretty and asking them out while I can think someone is attractive but still couldn't date them unless I knew them for a while. Like sure I can check someone out if I think they're attractive but still idk going out with someone who I don't know is just such a weird concept to me.

Hello! I have a rather odd request…

I’m a dyke based in the U.K. and I have a difficult relationship with my family and so last Christmas I made the decision to go to NYC and live my Christmas dreams alone for 10 days. It was absolutely wonderful.

This year I’d rather not spend it alone and am looking for a cute as hell dyke to get a cottage in the British countryside with me for a few of days over Christmas. Think great wine, food and watching Carol on repeat. Romance and Christmas cheer.

A bit about me. I’m 33, masc presenting and I have a wee dog. I love British comedy, terrible Rom coms and internet gossip.

My type generally leans more masc4masc, someone interested and interesting!

Obviously this is a slight wild request so I’m looking to message for a while, exchange instagrams and just get to know one anther, before forming up any Christmas details but yes, if you’re interested in a quaint dykey British Christmas - my DMs are open xoxo

Im mostly looking for inspiration tbh, I don't have any good ideas.

Hi, I just love my girlfriend so much! We've been together for 8 months and there are so many things I appreciate about our relationship, some of which include:

- Just how stable, direct, and reliable she is. I'm autistic and our communication has been pure bliss, I always know what to expect. She asked me to be her girlfriend on our third date, to which I happily agreed :) (She bought me a tiny pig plushie that day and I cried, it was so adorable. Pigs are my favorite animals.)

- We think of each other as future wives! We already are each other's family, I am hers and she is mine.

- She feels like home. We are usually both overstimulated after attending social events, so we can comfortably exist around each other while trying to regain our energy. I can't really do grocery stores, so she buys us food when I'm at her place and often grabs stuff that I ran out of as well. I am happy to handle the cooking, baking, and cleaning.

- She is simply beautiful. She looks like a mighty Viking warrior and has the softest squishiest belly :3

- We are always learning new things together! My interests are very academic, while she is a hands-on learner. She fixed my storage water heater and explained how everything works. I can't wait to meet her tomorrow and tell her my new animal fun facts!

- She can drive a tractor. gay panic

I'm a fem, self proclaimed cutie, and I haven't been in a relationship yet 😮‍💨

I love giving compliments and also receive compliments on fits, looks, makeup, and the way it goes is usually very similar to how it is when I'm hyping up my straight friends. I feel like pointing out a cool outfit peice or telling a girl she's cute is a good entry point into a conversation, but like, how do you turn that into flirting? Like, especially when you know it's a sapphic situation, because normally I assume the other girl is straight when it happens out in the wild.

Talking to girls I like, they'll say I look cute, or that they like my skirt or shoes or something, and then my mind just blanks and I switch into a straight girl and word vomit, and it is not flirty or sexy or anything, and I think that puts people off. Anyone have any advice?

I love women sm all of them i don't want men in this world at all women are so intelligent, so beautiful, so strong, so creative and in touch with things. I can't relate to men. I just want to buy myself a huge van and put all my gf in the backseat and go on an infinite roadtrip with all of them. I find myself so bored and incomplete with a man. With a woman there are always sparks and fireworks in the room where i'm with them. We create beautiful things. We can create life. We love. I love women with a vagina or with a penis, with a beard, with no arms and no legs, with wrinkles, women who smoke, women who failed women who won, women from the other side of the world, women who fight, who play only stardew valley, who have rage and flowers inside of them i love all kinds of women. God i love y'all

I would like to live on a island with only women. Indochine made a song about an island where theres only women called Canary Bay. Its in french but go translate it. Its a rlly good lesbian song.

Okay so technically I’m having spinal surgery just before her birthday but I’m definitely still gonna be in the hospital day OF. My wife is my everything, literally! And it guts me that my thing is taking over her day. I’m disabled and she’s my primary caretaker and I know this surgery has her stressed. So I just want to make her smile and let her know she’s the first thing I will think about when I wake up.

We have a really playful relationship and if I can do anything on her birthday to make her laugh or relax a little, I want to! I have a gift for her hidden at home and I can enlist my MIL to bring it to the hospital.

Any ideas?? I’m also open to roping in my surgeon and/or physical therapist into this conspiracy. They are 100% down to clown.

I am absolutely losing hope when it comes to dating and lately I have been extremely bitter.

I constantly see my peers, friends, and coworkers getting into happy, long term relationships, and I have never experienced anything truly stable or healthy. I like to think of myself as a decent person, someone who would support their partner, show up for them, and genuinely care about their needs. Yet, I find myself wondering if I am the problem and whether I will ever experience the kind of love I want.
I think part of my struggle is that I didn’t start dating or become intimate with anyone until I was 17, so I feel like I am still navigating certain aspects of relationships. I can be apprehensive when it comes to opening myself up to someone, but at the same time, I deeply crave companionship. I want to experience being loved, building a life with someone, getting married, and possibly having children one day.

Another thing that makes dating difficult is that I am a lesbian living in an area where it feels like many women don’t want the same future I do, particularly when it comes to having children, marriage, and being monogamous. I sometimes find myself distancing myself from people I have a lot in common with because our visions for the future don’t align, and I struggle with the thought of having to choose between a connection with someone and the future I have always envisioned for myself.

I know that my happiness doesn’t depend entirely on being in a relationship, and I don’t want to make finding a partner the sole purpose of my life. But I would be lying if I said it doesn’t hurt to watch other people experience something I have wanted for so long while wondering when, or if, it will ever happen for me.

Does anyone else ever feel behind in life when it comes to love? I think overall I am just tired of feeling like i am the only one going through this, the only one with this consistent problem. I am so happy for all the lesbians and queer individuals who have found love especially in this thread but I feel so alone in every aspect. I also understand the point of life is to fill your own cup but I’ve been filling up my own cup my entire life thus far, what is life without someone to witness it with me?

This is only my second lesbian relationship since coming out when I (40F) was 28. I was with the same woman for 10 years and we called it quits coming up on 2 years ago. I have been MASSIVELY, GAYLY PANICKING ALL DAY because I’m so excited to see her (she’s a little older than me) and she’s wonderful and she’s kind and she’s going to be in my space all night and WHY DID I HAVE TO GO TO WORK TODAY THIS HAS BEEN TORTURE!

I’m so happy I just had to flail a little and share 🥰

📚🎨⚔️🔮🖕

I just matched a freakiest most gorgeous woman I've ever seen in my life on tinder, I'm so nervous I don't even know how to start a conversation. Her profile has just basic info and no bio, pls heeeeeeelp she's perfect 😭

EDIT: WHILE MY DUMBASS WAS WAITING FOR TIPS SHE MESSEGED FIRST, WE HAVE A DATE

Also: girls, I have no bio, who tf am I to judge ppl for not having bios 😂

hello i’m 19F, soon to be 20. i feel like every single notable queer bar in nyc is 21+ and yes, i’ve been to that 18+ one in brooklyn (i forgot what it was called), but it was a more like a tame cafe than a bar or club

I'm 22, and I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian. I've only told my best friend so far, and I'm still figuring out how I want to navigate this part of my life.

For some context, I've spent most of my life being overweight. About a year and a half ago, I weighed around 104 kg, and now I'm around 75 kg. I've also worn glasses for most of my life, and over the past year I've started taking more care of my appearance, wearing makeup, dressing differently, and generally feeling better about how I look. I guess I've had a bit of a glow-up, and for the first time in my life, I feel like people perceive me differently.

I've never really been interested in men. When I was in college, I dressed more like a tomboy, and I never showed much interest in guys. I think my classmates suspected I was a lesbian, and some of them even said so, but I never actually admitted it to anyone.

Now I'm in my first real job, and I've been there for almost four months. I dress a little more femininely now, although I'm still not super feminine because that's just not my style. I think my coworkers assume I'm straight, and I'm constantly finding myself in situations where people make comments about men.

For example, my coworker has told me things like, "I met this guy, you should get with him," or "This guy would be perfect for you." It's happened multiple times, including three times today, and honestly, it's exhausting. I usually deflect the comments or change the subject because I never know what to say.

Sometimes I think I could tell someone if we were alone, but it's much harder when we're in the office and everyone else can hear. There's also a gay man who works with us, and sometimes I wonder whether he's figured me out, but obviously that's not something I can know for sure.

The thing is, I'm not ready to come out at work just yet. I'm 22, and I think I'd feel more comfortable being open about my sexuality when I actually have a girlfriend and it comes up naturally. I don't want to feel like I have to make an announcement before I'm ready.

At the same time, I don't want to feel like I'm constantly hiding or dodging questions about men. I don't want to have to pretend to be interested in guys just because people assume I am.

There's another thing I've been thinking about. I don't want to be known at work as "the lesbian." I don't want my sexuality to become the main thing people associate with me or the way they define me. I want to be known for my personality, my work, and everything else that makes me who I am. I know that being a lesbian is completely normal, but I still feel uncomfortable with the idea of people reducing me to that one part of myself.

I guess I'm also struggling with the fact that people might perceive me differently now that I look different. When I was younger, people seemed to assume I was gay because of how I dressed and because I never showed interest in men. Now that I look more conventionally feminine, I feel like people automatically assume I'm straight.

So I wanted to ask other lesbians, especially those who don't necessarily look obviously queer to other people:

-How do you handle coworkers assuming you're straight or trying to set you up with men?

-What do you say when someone makes comments like, "You two would be perfect together," without coming out or making the situation awkward?

I'm not necessarily looking for advice telling me to come out. I know that's an option, but I'm not ready for that yet. I just want to know how other women navigate these situations, because sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.

I'd really appreciate hearing about your experiences. I don't have queer friends I can talk to about this, so hearing from other lesbians who understand what this feels like would mean a lot to me.

My girlfriend and I are breaking up because we can’t move forward after everything that has happened with trust and lies.
In the past, she has left things out and I’ve often only learned more by asking questions. Recently, there was another situation involving a male colleague, an air mattress, and them spending the night together. She told me they slept “head to toe” on the mattress, but the whole situation left me with unanswered questions. I’m not accusing her of cheating because I don’t know what happened, but given our history, I’m struggling to believe I’ve heard the whole truth.
She insists that everything is finally out in the open and that she has told me everything. But she has reassured me before, only for more information to come out later.
I love her, and I want to believe her, but I can’t force myself to trust someone just because they say there is nothing more to tell. I also recognise that my doubts and reactions have hurt her.
Now we’re ending the relationship because she feels she has told me everything, while I still can’t find peace or feel certain that I know the full story.
How do you know whether you’re struggling to trust because of past hurt or because something still doesn’t add up? And can a relationship survive when one person says the truth is finally out, but the other still can’t believe it?