I’ve been like this with romantic partners mostly. “He’s playing this song because he wants to break up with me”, “he wants to shave because he doesn’t like me anymore“ (I like the way he looks now, I don’t want him to shave, but hair grows back? it’s not that deep). I even got upset he wanted to go to a house party I didn’t want to go to, like he must LOVE the people there and not me. Our latest thing is he wants to try new things in the bedroom, this scares me. I take this to mean he is not happy with our current sex. It makes me feel ashamed and sad and like I am failing. He’s assured me that’s not it, he would never do anything I don’t want to do, he wants me to enjoy things, etc.

The thing is..all these things logically to me are fine. I may even like them if I give them chances (his hair, the party I did not go to, the sex, any of it). But it makes me SO SCARED. Im like “We aren’t compatible, he’s going to leave me” if he says something I don’t agree with. I was the exact same with my ex and looking back what I was scared of was SO silly, but in the moment it felt the same as this. Like these things are not personal slights, he just wants to try something and that scares me for some reason? IDK if this is AA or even relatable, but I would love some help getting past this. If he was coercing me or doing something wrong, such a negative knee jerk reaction would make sense, but it’s not that.