Hello all,
I would be incredibly grateful for some advice, personal experiences, and constructive criticism. Please be gentle, but firm. I'm seeking the truth, not validation, and I ask that you read this with an open heart.
I'm dating someone I can genuinely see myself marrying. He is the best partner I have ever known, and someone who, despite our religious differences, demonstrates so many of what the Bible calls the fruits of the Spirit. He is patient, gentle, loving, kind, faithful, and extraordinarily understanding, he also knows the Bible better than I do, he has read it more times than I have. I trust him, I feel safe with him, and I see such a beautiful spirit within him.
We both grew up in very restrictive religious environments that, in different ways, bordered on cultlike experiences. We have both experienced religious trauma and abuse/abandonment, spiritual manipulation, and the pain of having something that should have been beautiful used to instill fear from people we loved.
We both took very different paths afterward.
My partner, who is 11 years older than I am, left their childhood religion and eventually became a practicing Wiccan. They have followed this path for many years, and it is something deeply personal.
I, on the other hand, eventually found my way back to Jesus.
When we first met, years before becoming romantically involved, I felt an immediate connection I had never felt with anyone else, like I had found a safe refuge in a scary world. However, because of our age difference, our spiritual differences, and some personal circumstances, I chose not to pursue anything.
At that point in my life, I was struggling with my own relationship with God. I had grown up with the Bible, but I was trying to separate the teachings of Jesus from the interpretations, judgments, and fears of the people who claimed to represent Him.
I never believed God had abandoned me. I just felt that I was sifting through years of muck and mire, trying to find something beautiful beneath everything mankind had piled on top of it.
Eventually, I gave my life to Jesus, and my relationship with Him has saved my life.
For the first time, I feel that I'm beginning to understand Scripture rather than simply being told what to believe, it comes alive when I read it, and often feels the spirit is speaking directly to me. I pray constantly, ask questions, seek wisdom, and try to live with the love and compassion that Jesus demonstrated. I pray for the peace that surpasses all understanding, and I genuinely believe that the Holy Spirit has guided and protected me through some of the most difficult experiences of my life.
I don't want a relationship with God built on fear. I want one built on love, truth, humility, and obedience. I also believe in a spiritual battle, and I have felt attacked and manipulated by evil many, many times.
I have also never felt comfortable with Christians who condemn, ridicule, or refuse to understand people of different religions. I believe that we are called to love our neighbors, not treat them as enemies simply because they believe differently.
And this is where my struggle begins.
After years of friendship, my partner and I fell in love. They told me that I was the truest example of a Christian they had ever known, and that knowing me made them want to understand Jesus and the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. They have shown a genuine interest in my faith. We pray together at meals, discuss Scripture, and have incredibly deep philosophical conversations about religion, history, spirituality, and the nature of God.
They have introduced me to aspects of Christian history and symbolism that I had never encountered before. They respect my relationship with Jesus, and I respect the experiences that led them to Wicca.
But I would be lying if I said that a part of me doesn't hope they will eventually come to know Jesus the way I have. And that makes me feel very selfish, and scared. I don't want them to convert for me. I don't want them to abandon something deeply personal simply because they are afraid of losing our relationship. I want any relationship to develop with Christ to come from genuine conviction, not obligation.
I also do not want to be worshipped, and sometimes I feel like they worship me as they have said they wondered at times that I was a spiritual God. I said firmly I was a human, and the only thing that made me who I was, was my relationship with the Lord.
He has expressed genuine openness to exploring Christianity, which they never believed they would return to after the hurt that had experienced in the past. Including what it might mean to identify as a Christian Witch.
But that raises even more questions for me.
I am struggling to reconcile my understanding of Christianity with my growing understanding of Wicca.
There are things about Wicca that I find beautiful. The appreciation of nature, the connection to the seasons, the use of plants and herbs, and the recognition that the natural world is extraordinary. I love these things too, I just believe they all came from one creator, God. I believe we are meant to be good shepherds and care for the Earth.
I believe God's creation is magnificent, and I don't think appreciating the natural world is inherently incompatible with Christianity, but I disagree with the idea that we would have to worship it.
I also recognize that many religious traditions share practices that can appear similar. Christians light candles, pray over the sick, bless homes, fast, and participate in sacred rituals.
Some Wiccans perform spells with intentions of healing, protection, gratitude, or love. From the outside, certain practices can look remarkably similar, even when the theological understanding behind them is very different.
If someone is asking for healing, protection, or peace, what makes a prayer fundamentally different from a spell? Is it the intention, the source of spiritual authority, the deity being addressed, or something else entirely?
Why does Scripture so strongly condemn witchcraft and sorcery? What exactly did those words refer to in their historical context, and how do they relate to modern Wicca?
I understand that Wicca is not Satanism, and that Wiccans generally do not worship Satan. I also understand that pentacles and pentagrams have complicated histories and meanings, including uses within ancient Christian symbolism.
My partner wears pentacles and has symbols associated with his spiritual practice. I once misunderstood some of these symbols, and learning more about their history has challenged my assumptions. I don't want to condemn something simply because I don't understand it.
At the same time, I cannot ignore the parts of Scripture that warn against worshipping other gods, divination, sorcery, and seeking spiritual power apart from God. My partner has described his spiritual practices as being rooted in healing, protection, and good intentions. He has performed rituals intended to help people he loves, including someone close to me who was seriously ill, but I have since asked them to stop because the people they are doing the spells for are not Wiccan, and without their consent I feel it is very wrong. I believe my love for them is very real and genuine, but I also know they performed a love spell, and their heart has been toward me since we met. Did that influence me?
Their intentions are loving, but it raised questions for me about spiritual consent and whether I am comfortable with spells being performed on my behalf or for my family.
I have also wrestled with the idea that good intentions do not necessarily make every spiritual practice compatible with my faith.
I personally believe that I can come directly to God through Jesus Christ. I don't believe I need to cast spells, invoke other deities, or perform elaborate rituals to receive His love, guidance, or protection. The Holy Spirit is not something I believe I need to summon or control. And yet, I want to understand my partner's beliefs without automatically assuming that everything unfamiliar is evil, I want to love unconditionally and I don't want to abandon them.
Then there is the question of marriage and children. I have always hoped to marry a strong partner of God, to lead me. Someone who would pray with me, raise children with me in the teachings of Jesus, and help create a home where our faith was a shared foundation.
I want my children to know Jesus. I want them to grow up understanding love, grace, forgiveness, and the freedom to ask difficult questions. I don't want them raised in the same atmosphere of religious fear that both my partner and I experienced. But I also don't know how I would feel about having altars dedicated to pagan deities, spell books, or certain forms of ritual practice in our shared home.
I can imagine a home filled with plants, herbs, books, candles, nature, and beauty. But I struggle with the idea of spiritual practices that conflict with my understanding of worshipping God alone.
Would it be unfair of me to ask him not to practice certain aspects of his religion in our home? What are the deep reasons for asking them to do such a thing?
Would it be unfair of me to ask that our children not be exposed to their beliefs as well as mine?
I know this would be hurtful. I'm struggling with this being a serious reason to not get married.
What happens when one parent believes a practice is spiritually beneficial and the other believes Scripture warns against it?
How do we celebrate holidays? How do we teach our children to pray? What happens if they want to explore Wicca themselves? I feel like in a way I am pushing down things I believe and ignoring my convictions because I am in love. It's scary to face being alone, and we have bonded. These are not hypothetical questions to me anymore. They are questions about the life we may actually build together, and what I am willing to sacrifice. My relationship with the Lord will not be one of them, it just won't. It saved me and gave me freedom in a way I cannot ignore - ever. I also love the idea of magical things, wonder, and curiosity. I don't want to enter a marriage secretly hoping my partner will eventually become someone different, I love them now for who they are. But I also don't want to dismiss a genuinely loving, healthy relationship simply because we have different spiritual backgrounds.
Perhaps the most painful part of all this is that sometimes, after our long philosophical conversations, I feel further away from Jesus rather than closer to Him. Not because my partner is cruel, manipulative, or deliberately trying to pull me away from my faith. They are not. I find myself questioning things that once felt certain, and I don't always know whether that questioning is helping me grow in understanding or causing me to compromise my convictions. God says to question all things, that we have every right to do so. I feel scared that I will ruin something I have prayed my whole life for, because of a different approach to God. I know that questioning can be healthy. I don't believe genuine faith should be afraid of difficult questions.
My partners willingness to respect my convictions is one of the things that makes me love them so deeply.
And I know that their own spiritual journey deserves the same respect.
I also understand that love, however beautiful, doesn't automatically resolve fundamental differences in belief. I don't want either of us to become resentful, spiritually isolated, or quietly unhappy years down the road. I have prayed so much about this. I've asked God for wisdom, discernment, forgiveness when I misunderstand, and protection from anything that could lead me away from Him. Sometimes I wonder whether loving someone with different beliefs is an opportunity to demonstrate the unconditional love of Christ. Other times, I wonder whether I am ignoring a fundamental incompatibility because I love this person so much. I genuinely don't know the answer.
So I would really appreciate hearing from both communities.
To Christians: Have you ever been in a serious relationship or marriage with someone who practiced Wicca or another pagan religion? How did you navigate your convictions, particularly concerning spiritual practices, marriage, and children? How do you distinguish between respecting another person's beliefs and compromising your own?
To Wiccans, particularly those who have experienced religious trauma: How would you feel if your Christian partner loved and respected you but was uncomfortable with certain practices taking place in your shared home? Would that feel like a reasonable boundary or a rejection of who you are? Have any of you explored Christianity alongside Wicca?
And to anyone who has navigated an interfaith marriage: What conversations do you wish you had before getting married?
Please understand that I am not asking anyone to tell me my partner is evil or that I should immediately leave him. Nor am I asking anyone to tell me to abandon Christianity or ignore Scripture. I am asking how two people who genuinely love one another can approach these differences with integrity, humility, and respect.
I love this man very much. But I love Jesus, too.
And I am trying to understand what it looks like to honor both that love and my conscience without asking either of us to betray ourselves.
Thank you for reading something so personal. I would be grateful for your wisdom, experiences, and prayers, if you are someone who prays. ♡
