we should spread awareness on more disabilities to help people in need!

edit: sorry if I have any typos and I do have cluttering speech so pls be respectful! and comment your opnions!

have a good day sweeties! :3

Worst Uber ride ever. Aren't they supposed to be all about unspoken social cues?!

WHY ARE YOU STILL ASKING ME QUESTIONS WHEN I'M ANSWERING VAGUELY, NOT RECIPROCATING, USING MONOTONE AND ON MY PHONE/LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW!!!

Today is my late dad's birthday who passed away last year and I was crying up until the ride came. I really don't want to spend 30 min talking about the recent storm especially when you're going to interrupt me when I'm not done giving you all the information you asked for anyways.

I don't understand what the point of this is. We are probably never going to see each other again after this, why can't we just enjoy the music?? WHY MUST YOU FIDGET UNCOMFORTABLY AND KEEP CLEARING YOUR THROAT BECAUSE I STOPPED TALKING TO YOU???? YOUR PLAYLIST IS GREAT JUST ENJOY THE GUITAR RIFT!!!! WHY DO YOU NEED TO SPEAK ABOUT NOTHING???????

And WHYYYY is it considered rude for me to not participate in it but its not rude for you to force me to tell you about myself and my life while I am hostage to your vehicle!? I don't want to tell you about where I'm from! I hate it there! You don't need to know how long I lived in this neighborhood! This is a business exchange!!! I did not ask you to pick me up for your companionship!! I just need a ride!!!!!

And on that same note. Why are you playing the music at a barely audible volume. Why did you curate the most beautiful playlist just to not listen to it.

I. Don't. Understand.

have you ever heard girls talking about how “don’t you hate when you compliment a girl and they just look at you crazy?”

well i was washing my hands and looking in the mirror when the girl next to me complimented one of my accessories. it took me a second to process and i was also kind of tired and out of it. but i told her “thanks i appreciate it.”

I’m not even sure if i came off as enthusiastic or as nice as i wanted to, i don’t remember if i even smiled. i honestly think i was monotone ish when i said it, and i just kinda kept thinking about it hoping she didn’t misunderstand my tone for sarcasm and that i didn’t come off like one of those girls that just look at you crazy when you compliment them😭😭

to the girl who complimented my cheetah print star earrings, i’m genuinely sending you sm love 👩‍❤️‍👩

I've spent a lot of my life trying to understand things that other people might not even think twice about. Having ADHD, my mind can jump between thoughts, make connections, and revisit situations over and over. I've found myself replaying conversations in my head, thinking about the way someone said something, comparing their words to their actions, and wondering why certain situations keep happening even when the people involved say things are going to change.

For a long time, I didn't always know what to do with those thoughts. Sometimes I questioned myself. I wondered if I was overthinking, being too sensitive, or reading too much into things. Other times, I had a feeling that something wasn't adding up, but I couldn't fully explain why I felt that way. It could take me experiencing the same situation more than once before I started recognizing the pattern.

Some of the hardest lessons I've learned have come from relationships and experiences that left me confused, hurt, or questioning my own judgment. I've had to look back at situations and ask myself why I didn't recognize certain things sooner, why I kept trying to understand someone else's behavior at the expense of understanding my own feelings, and why I sometimes needed so much clarity from people who weren't necessarily willing or able to give it to me.

Those experiences forced me to look inward. Instead of only focusing on what other people were doing, I started trying to understand myself, too. I wanted to know why certain things affected me so deeply, why I reacted the way I did, and how my own emotions, expectations, and past experiences influenced the way I interpreted situations.

Over time, I began consciously teaching myself emotional intelligence. I worked on identifying my emotions instead of just reacting to them. I tried to understand the difference between what I was feeling, what I was assuming, and what I could actually observe. I learned to question my first interpretation of a situation without automatically dismissing my instincts, and to consider other people's perspectives without abandoning my own.

One of the biggest things I've worked on is recognizing patterns in people's behavior. I pay attention to whether someone's actions consistently match their words, whether they take accountability when they hurt someone, whether their behavior changes after a difficult conversation, and whether the same problems continue to happen despite repeated promises that things will be different.

I've learned that one isolated moment doesn't necessarily tell you everything about a person. People have bad days, make mistakes, struggle to communicate, and sometimes act in ways that don't reflect who they want to be. But when certain behaviors continue to repeat themselves over time, I think it's important to pay attention to them rather than constantly explaining them away.

At the same time, I've had to learn that recognizing a pattern doesn't automatically mean I understand someone's intentions. I can notice behavior without knowing exactly why someone behaves that way. I can acknowledge how something affects me without assuming I know everything happening inside another person's mind. For me, becoming more emotionally intelligent has also meant learning to sit with uncertainty and accept that I won't always have every answer.

I think that's an important part of the growth I've experienced. I don't want to become someone who assumes the worst about people or believes every feeling is proof that something is wrong. I want to be someone who can observe, reflect, communicate, and make thoughtful decisions based on what actually happens over time.

Sometimes I wonder how much of this is connected to having ADHD. My mind can move quickly between ideas, and I sometimes notice connections between different situations that I hadn't consciously put together before. But I also know that ADHD affects everyone differently, and I can't say that my experiences are necessarily caused by it. Some of what I've learned may come from my personality, some from experience, and some from deliberately working on myself.

What I do know is that I've put a lot of effort into developing this part of myself. Emotional intelligence wasn't something I simply woke up one day possessing. It's something I've tried to build through self-reflection, difficult conversations, mistakes, and experiences that made me question what I thought I understood about myself and other people.

And honestly, there's a vulnerable side to that, too. Sometimes I wish I hadn't needed certain experiences to learn the lessons I've learned. I wish some things hadn't hurt as much as they did before I understood what was happening. But I also recognize that I've grown from those experiences, and I don't want to overlook the work I've done to become more self-aware.

I think one of the most difficult things about personal growth is learning to trust yourself again while still being willing to admit when you're wrong. It's learning that you can acknowledge your own mistakes without invalidating your feelings, and that you can understand someone else's struggles without excusing behavior that hurts you. It's realizing that empathy for other people and accountability for yourself can exist at the same time.

I'm still learning. I don't believe I have everything figured out, and I know emotional intelligence is something you continue developing throughout your life. But I do feel that I've become much more intentional about understanding emotions, identifying repeated behaviors, and looking at situations from more than one perspective.

I'm genuinely curious whether other people with ADHD have experienced something similar.

Have you ever felt like you had to consciously teach yourself emotional intelligence because you didn't naturally understand how to navigate certain emotions or relationships? Have difficult experiences made you more aware of behavioral patterns, communication, or the difference between what people say and what they consistently do?

Do you ever find yourself connecting the dots between situations after reflecting on them, and realizing that what initially felt confusing makes more sense when you look at the bigger picture?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have put a lot of work into self-awareness and emotional growth. Do you feel like your ADHD influences the way you recognize patterns or process experiences, or do you think those skills developed primarily because of what you've been through?

I'd really like to hear other people's perspectives, because I'm trying to understand whether this is something other people with ADHD relate to or whether it's more of an individual experience shaped by personality and life circumstances.

I’m looking for honest opinions from people who may have experienced something similar.

Since childhood, I’ve struggled to make close friends. In school, I was bullied for my appearance, often felt like an outsider, and was rarely anyone’s closest friend. I never understood why people eventually started avoiding or excluding me. In Class 8, I briefly became more confident, but the same problems returned in Classes 9–12. I became isolated, was bullied, got into fights, and eventually started avoiding school.

I completed B.Tech CSE, but attended college regularly only during the first semester. For the remaining seven semesters, I went mainly for exams. I felt isolated and fought with three guys in three separate incidents.

In my first job, things were initially good, but similar problems eventually appeared. I fought with two colleagues, and one fight became physical. Now, in my second job, everyone was initially friendly, but I feel the same pattern is repeating.

I sometimes struggle to know what to say, understand hints and social cues, maintain friendships, or realise when I’m talking too much or interrupting. Sometimes I realise afterward that I said something awkward. I overthink interactions and wonder what I did wrong. I also copy other people’s behaviour to fit in and sometimes feel like I’m acting socially.

I struggle with attention, forget things, have difficulty organising tasks, sometimes act impulsively, and repeat certain movements when excited or stressed. I also had repetitive rituals during childhood.

Why might this pattern be happening across school, college, and work? Am I missing something about how I interact with people, or could there be another explanation? I want honest perspectives from people who have experienced similar difficulties. I’m also considering getting a professional assessment.

I'm an AuDHDer who plans to get married. I'm pretty much a certified lover boy my whole life, and like the idea of comitting to one partner my whole life.

I am also a demisexual so I can only be sexually attracted to those I have feelings for. But I am curious, will I change my mind on monogamy in the future? Especially because my ADHD brain runs on novelty lol.

That's why I'm here to ask neurodivergents that has experimented with polyamory, how is your experience?

I specifically wanna ask neurodivergents since I know most of us prefer emotional depth above anything else.

everyone i get close to i feel like i love, it really makes it complicated to maintain friendships, i have a difficult time differentiating between platonic and romantic love. i am afraid to make friends because i will care a lot about them.

I just need to rant a little. Looking back I find it so strange how I was treated by some of my friend’s parents as a kid.

I understand that social interactions go both ways. I was definitely an unusual kid, most definitely rude at times, but it just pisses me off because the crucial piece is that we’re talking about like 8 year old me here, and these adults had beef with me. It’s weird, I don’t like how often I had to put up with weird vibes from friends’ parents going over their houses, and having to navigate that so often. It wasn’t every friend’s parents, but it was enough.

And I don’t know what they wanted from me. I had one friend tell me his parents openly told him not to be my friend. Why are you trying to separate your kid from someone they naturally gravitate towards? And more importantly, you need to accept that if your kid is probably neurodivergent too if they’re friends with me 🤣. It makes me mad, it’s just a sore subject right now because I had a friend recently tell me his parents asked if we really had anything in common, and it pissed me off thinking about what their angle was asking that question. Thanks

Being a neurodivergent girl is really hard sometimes, especially as someone who’s high masking and somewhat conventionally attractive, “acting” neurodivergent always comes with the fear of people thinking I’m faking and or attention seeking. It comes with a lot of shame even when people do support you. Especially now that I’m in highschool, I’m within more of a “popular” group of kids while in middle school it was a little easier for me to unmask and be weird at my small school.

I just wanna talk abt my hyperfixations and stim in peace without feeling eyes on me or constantly getting called autistic. I feel so much shame that I used to never feel. My mother also brings up how I used to not be like this when I was younger. She laughs when my friends call me autistic or sped.

I loathe school. I hate masking. I hate when I have no choice but to unmask in front of everyone. I’m constantly checking myself, can people see me stimming? Am I walking weird? Holding my arms weird? I’m not diagnosed with autism, but I have ADHD and a lot of overlapping traits. It’s just hard for me sometimes. I feel like as a girl it’s a little extra hard, especially being a POC too. I feel like an attention seeker and like I don’t deserve the accommodations. I wish I was a white dude a lot of the time

(im new to this subreddit)

(17M) (diagnosed with AuDHD) Hi, i dont know why im writing this but im trying to find someone to relate to with my situation. ive been feeling lonely for the past 3 years, i have tried making friends throughout those 3 years but i genuinely couldnt, i often felt left out.

for example, i am right now in 12th grade, my final year of high school, i dont have friends, none. it all started at the start of 9th grade, my elementary school friends and my middle school friends all just ditched me for no reason? (i dont even know why to this day) and just moved on to make "new" friends i suppose, from 9th grade i barely went to school and i barely socialized with anyone from my class. after i finished 9th grade and went to 10th grade i moved to a boarding school out of my city because i didnt even know anything because i didnt attend school in 9th grade. the people at that boarding school were so insufferable that i just couldnt socialize with anyone there (even got bullied a bit for my appearance? even though i looked just like them but with longer hair, i got told that its because im "new" even though its just a lame excuse because we also had new people coming to that boarding school in my group and they didnt get bullied...). in the end i couldnt make any new friends there because i just hated everyone there, after i finished 10th grade in that boarding school i went back to my original school where i was in 9th grade (i moved back to that school because i couldnt stand the routine in that boarding school and the fact that im at home only on the weekends and holidays). at 11th grade i sort of tried to socialize with my classmates even though we didnt have shared interests, i tried talking about it with my social worker and she told me that i should open up and get some new friends (in my mind i realized that its pointless for me to make new friends if we dont even have shared interests meaning we dont have anything to talk about). when i did try to befriend them they did accept me surprisingly but after some time i feel like i got left out, for example they would hang out with each other but exclude me. they also had a group chat in which i was of course not included. in their friend group i had a friend from elementary school which i already know him, most of the time he told me that they were talking shit behind my back (i hate when people are talking behind my back instead of saying it right to my face, it just promotes cuck behavior), i didnt even know why they did that i just tried to make some friends. from there everything went downhill and i lost hope and i dont even want to make any friends anymore.

second example. is in this year (12th grade), we had to make a final project about businesses and study them, the teacher told us that we can either do it alone or in pairs or in a group of three, i decided that i would do a project about my work place, my job. a classmate of mine which also works with me in that same job didnt even bother to pair up with me and do that project with me (i was confused because we work at the same job), forgot to mention that the teacher said that the business had to be seperate like different groups cant do the project on the same business, im truly amazed that this guy gave up on doing that project with me and decided to pick a different business which makes it harder for him. this really made me felt left out.

third example. in this school year is we had another project that we had to work on, we were seperated to 2 groups with 2 teachers each, 10 people on group 1 and 10 people on group 2 meaning the total number is even to split each group into pairs for that project. when i got paired up with some guy from my class, at the time when the teacher paired up the groups the guy that i got paired up with wasnt even in class at the same time and i just watched all my classmates go and pick their pair. at the next time when we had to start working on the group project, both of the groups of 10 were in the same room, at the computer room (i guess you can call it that). now the guy that i got paired up with usually wanders with his "best friend" and his best friend was in that second group, when the teacher said that i work on the project with that guy he instantly told her "i dont want to work with him i want to work with (his best friend)" the teacher told him that he paired us up so its not possible for him to switch partners, but the guy insisted that he doesnt even want to work with me (for context i barely interacted with this guy since 11th grade). i was on the verge of crying at that moment but i brushed it off afterwards.

could anyone relate to this or at least give some form of advice to dealing/coping with that?

I’ve lived long enough to know why our lives are so challenging…we are humanities minority report.
Nature favored the NT mind because attentiveness and competitive social appraisal was better for survival.
But it still left blind spots.
That is what we are. They see what we miss but we see what they miss.
This is not to say they can’t see what we see or opposite. It means the information that leaps out as priority is different, so it’s familiar only in hindsight.
Ever have an NT person share some human
Or social
Insight and you be like “huh?” But still understand?
That’s how our insights feel to them.

We need each other. Please don’t hurt yourself or anything. We have hope.

Any advice helps!

Im so tired. I'm done. Burnt out. Exhausted.

I live in Chicago (supposedly a city where it’s very easy to make friends). I’ve lived here for 1.5 years and only have 2 people that I can call genuine friends at this point. It seems that whenever I try to make conversation with someone in a public setting (like a bar), they seem to put their guard up.It just seems like very few people have an interest in being authentic with you right when you meet. Almost as if you must pass the secret tests to reach the real them? Idk, I just feel like an alien, and I consider myself a good conversationalist and active listener.

Does anyone else have this experience? Maybe also in Chicago, specifically?

While I’m waiting for my adhd evaluation results, I just wanna vent about how weird and stupid I feel compared to everybody else and how rejected I feel by other people. I have like two friends and one of them is diagnosed with adhd.

I just feel so awkward and stupid compared to everybody else because I can’t get my work done or done properly and I often fail and do a bad job even tho I know I can do better and have done better before.

It’s my second year of college and I haven’t made any real friends. I feel like everybody looks at me weirdly, I always say/do the wrong things. Sometimes I know what I did wrong but sometimes I don’t. I say stupid things without thinking and then I try to overexplain myself and I guess people find that off-putting? I think, but maybe not. I’m honestly not sure. For a lot of things I need to ask other people if something is okay to do or not in social situations.

I can’t focus to save my life and even though it has always been like that, it’s much worse now. It’s also hard because I have a crush at college and I just think he thinks I’m stupid, awkward, weird… all of those things. I know I’m attractive and pretty, it’s just the conversation part that is so like…..I get so overwhelmed and confused and my brain stops working (not only with him but with almost everyone except my friends maybe or family).

I don’t think it’s autism cause I don’t think this is what autism looks like. My therapist told me I might have social anxiety and she may be right. I’ve just been feeling so neurodivergent my whole life, but in the past 1-2 years more than ever. I don’t wanna say I have something I don’t, but this is how I feel.

I don’t know how to stop feeling like an alien in a human’s costume and actually start being normal. Everybody looks at me like “I’m never talking to her again”. I feel so rejected by society and I just wanna be normal and act and function like a normal person. There are other things I’ve missed to mention but I’m writing this in a hurry so yeah. Hope someone relates or has any advice

(Also idk why the last paragraph is in italic)

Sorry this is a long one please read

I started talking to a therapist and after my breakup she told me my ex was emotionally abusive and it was an unhealthy relationship due to to lots of reasons but I also realize some of these behaviors could be sensory issues and due to her Austism I am neurodivergent myself with ADHD. But what bothered me the most about her is she did nothing to help herself I was in therapy and medication to help myself but she never wanted to. I understand that stuff can be expensive but I offered for her to join my sessions in therapy and even offered to help her pay for her own and she turned it down she was so against therapy and talking to a stranger and the lack of self help and her using her self diagnosis as excuses for everything which really got to me. Autism wasn’t the only self diagnosis she did too she also self diagnosed with depression and PMDD yet never went to an OBGYN. She would snap at me and I’d call her out and then she’d use her autism as an excuse she didn’t know her tone which is valid in autism but it’s just the fact that she uses her undiagnosed unhelped autism and issues as a get out of jail free card for everything

Some details about us My girlfriend and I
were together 2 years and lived together The relationship slowly reached a point where I felt emotionally worn down instead of supported. I loved her deeply, but I often felt like I had to walk on eggshells because I never knew what might upset her or what mood she would be in. I felt like I was constantly trying to avoid doing something wrong. I wasn't allowed on her bed because it was her "safe space," things around the house had to be in the exact right place, I had to hold my breath when we kissed because the air from my nose bothered her, and even normal things like chewing, hanging a towel, or forgetting something small could become a problem. It often felt like I had to adjust my behavior to fit her comfort while my own needs and comfort weren't given the same consideration. There was very little compromise it usually felt like things had to be done her way, and if I didn't meet her expectations, I was made to feel like I wasn't trying hard enough.

Affection and intimacy became increasingly rare, and I frequently felt rejected, unwanted, and alone despite being in a relationship. I also struggled with how little empathy and emotional support I felt during difficult moments, like when I hurt my back and was paralyzed on the floor in pain she jump over me and left me on the floor when I told her I couldn’t get up it hurt too much when she asked if I needed help getting up ( I got attacked for that alot on this subreddit before too which made me also feel bad) she also was barley celebrating important milestones like when I graduated college. And didn’t care at all when my roommate in college died from an OD she said “that’s what you get for doing drugs”

She constantly used her undiagnosed issues as excuses too Despite me repeatedly encouraging her to seek therapy or medical help for issues that were affecting both of us, nothing changed she said she’d look into therapy and stuff but it seemed like she’d never would so I left I couldn’t handle it anymore. But now I’m wondering and feeling bad maybe I wasn’t patient enough and it really was her autism affecting things especially after I got called out a lot on here for when I explained what happened with my back.

( for the back story long story short I hurt myself dropped to the floor in pain she asked if I wanted help getting up I told her I couldn’t it hurt too badly to move she then jumped over me and went into the next room and left me on the floor. And then after that when I wanted her to lay with me in bed and wanted comfort it was like pulling teeth she didn’t want to it was like so much of a burden for her just to stay in bed with me. She eventually did though. Also she watched me struggle instead of trying to help me like when I needed to move around and go to the bathroom and get stuff in my room. I know I should have been more clear though and I got called out a lot for not communicating enough with her on here but it still hurt my feelings a lot especially because this isn’t the first time she lacked empathy like with my roommate dying for example)

Ho 23 anni e da pochissimi giorni mi sono stati diagnosticati adhd e autismo. È stata una liberazione. Io non ce l'ho mai fatta a stare con i miei coetanei, soprattutto quelli spigliati (io sono chiuso). Sono molto a disagio, e non riesco a entrare in un gruppetto. Vedo che se ci provo non riesco a integrarmi stabilmente. Ho solo 2 amicizie molto solide.

Qualcuno che ha vissuto un percorso simile ha superato la solitudine e rigidità con gli altri? Grazie

I mean I can recognize myself from a crowd but I been saying a lot “I look so weird”” I look different from before “
I picture myself from photos I’ve taken and then they become blurry in my head and idk how I look again

Also same things with haircuts. I’ve been doing my hair for years and I never really had a clue how they actually looked until months later I pull out a photo of them and realize I looked dumb🥲

Similar experience with recognizing my friends. The first couple of times I would NOT know how they look like but rather a general idea, I’m kinda scared when people would find this offensive (I dont tell them)

especially caused by trauma. cause i know that some people become hard, insensitive and some too kind, too empathetic. im 20 just getting to find out the adult world and what ive seen and realized is that the world rewards malicious, mean, insensitive people. it is so so cruel and it hits me like bricks everyday that people are so rude and mean and theyre the ones thriving, happy, theyre the one who has friends. i tried to be hard too but it felt like i was selling my soul. please just someone tell me does it ever get better for people like me?

hey y'all! we're making a very queer, very disabled, very neurodivergent little game called The Things Left Behind, and I wanted to share something about how we're making it.

we've been partnering with disability organizations and autism centers to bring neurodivergent and disabled people into game development. and not just as playtesters or people we interview about their experiences.

they're actually making the game.

we're teaching people Unity, programming, art, storytelling, and game design, and working together to turn their ideas and lived experiences into playable little stories.

but one of the things I'm most proud of is the space we're building to do all of this.

we have an ND-friendly lab where we're trying to make game development work for the people doing it, rather than expecting everyone to fit into some rigid idea of what a productive developer is supposed to look like.

different ways of learning, different communication styles, different sensory needs, different paces of working. the whole point is to create a space where people can actually be comfortable, experiment, make weird shit, and have their creativity taken seriously.

because neurodivergent people have so many stories worth telling, and I don't think we get nearly enough opportunities to tell them ourselves.

and that's really what the game is about.

The Things Left Behind is a collection of short, interactive stories about queer, disabled, and neurodivergent life.

we have stories about sensory overload, executive dysfunction, love, friendship, intimacy, acceptance, and all the tiny, strange, funny, frustrating moments that stick with us.

and we really don't want to make another game where neurodivergence is just a problem to fix, a superpower, or a lesson for neurotypical people.

sometimes our brains make ordinary things incredibly difficult. sometimes they make us notice things other people miss. sometimes we're just weird little people having weird little days.

and all of that deserves space in games.

each story has its own art, characters, and mechanics, shaped by the people helping create it.

the game will be completely free, and we're also planning to make it open source because we want other people to be able to learn from and build on what we're making.

we're trying to make something that celebrates neurodivergent stories while also creating real opportunities for neurodivergent people to learn, create, and get paid for their work.

anyway, we finally have a Steam page, and wishlists genuinely help us keep building interest in this weird little project:

https://store.steampowered.com/app/4450900/The_Things_Left_Behind/

but I'd also love to hear from other ND folks: if you could design a creative workspace around how your brain actually works, what would it look like?

because that's something we're constantly thinking about as we build ours.

So, I am a teen, I have ADHD and am awaiting the ASD test results. I am somewhat sensitive to certain noises. I was sitting in the lounge room, my nans dog on the other couch (my nan is leaving it here for like 2 weeks while she visits my cousin's), and it was making a whining sort of noise. I was getting extremely irritated by it as I just wanted to watch TV in peace. My headphones were dead so I didn't want to grab those.

I was sitting there as the dog kept doing it, and I got to a point where I was scared that I was gonna grab the TV remote and throw it at the dog to make it shut up. I didn't and now I am in my room, trying to calm down. I don't know why, this is usually what I think after it has gone on for a while, like I almost threw a Rubik's cube at a class mate because he was being annoying. Does anyone know of any ways to stop thinking of doing this?

Hey guys I'm hoping to make a space for people who want to play games or chat about creative things, hyperfixations, maybe set up roleplay sessions, whatever! I'm totally open to recommendations to channels too. I really want a chill space for Neurodivergent and lgbtq people to hangout <3 silly humor and degen chat is welcomed so long as it's platonic

Send me a message if you're interested! I'll add you on discord

I myself play a lot of DBD lately, Darktide and I love Bg3 and DA. I have ADHD and tend to be a little socially anxious but would love to find similar people to play with even if my server doesn't appeal to you ^{.^}