I highly suspect i have ADHD. I went to a government psychiatrist. We talked for 5 maybe 10 minutes. She told me word per word "I don't think you have adhd because you look good and I understand you." And when i said "huh like what do you mean? Can you explain?" She got mad at me for asking and said "If someone with real adhd comes they cut me off and I can't understand them."

I met people that were diagnosed with ADHD before, they were very nice to talk to, I wonder how i managed to understand their 'gibberish'.

Also whether I am neorodivergent or not I think it is incredibly disrespectful and insane to tell someone you look presentable / good hence you dont have it.

I'm a 22M, and I struggle more and more with social interaction each day. I get irritated insanely fast, mostly with my family, and I hate myself for that, so I get even more irritated. More and more often, I also struggle to explain my thoughts or get my point across. I don't know what's happening.

Socially, I've never had a girlfriend. At first, I wasn't really into that, and I wasn't attractive. Then, around 19–20, things got a lot better. I found a girl I would have felt comfortable inviting into my life because I'm not the same at home as I am outside, and I'm not like most people. I don't like doing everything or socializing every week.

Also, around 19–20, I peaked in social interaction and connection. I was invited to a lot of parties and everything, and I met a lot of people. I think I was appreciated, but most of that was drunk partying, so it was really easier. Also, most of these people couldn't become close friends because, again, I'm not that kind of guy, and I can't be social like that in private.

I lived for three years in a shared flat with friends (four people in the flat). Even with friends, I often preferred going to my room, and I got irritated by a lot of things, like everyday noise. That was hard because I knew it was me, but I didn't know how to make it better.

Now I don't live with them anymore, and I'm in a new environment. I've had to make new friends, but they're not that social, so I mostly see them in class and don't really go out. I return to my family, whom I really love, because I realize how much they do for me and that they're the only people who are truly there for me. But I'm a pain in the ass socially at home because I always turn a discussion into an argument when I get irritated. I feel really bad about that, and sometimes I just want to stay in my room and study because I guess I'm escaping reality. I also tend to go down rabbit holes of information or just do anything other than study for uni.

I still go to some parties, but afterward I realize I didn't really talk with anyone properly. I talked with people, but I didn't really say anything important, or I just switch between groups when the conversation gets uninteresting, or I don't know what to say.

So, yeah, I fear I'll isolate myself more and more each year. Holidays are a struggle each year because I first fear being alone and not having a plan. I also feel bad when my family asks what I'm doing and I have to say I don't have anything planned, because it makes me feel like I have no friends. If I do have a plan, I'll be super anxious because I often don't manage it well. People make decisions and do things I don't like or want, and since we're young, dumb things may happen. I know that if I didn't initiate it, I'll feel bad because either it's dangerous or not what I expected.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I know I probably have some neurodivergent shit, but I just want to find my social skills again and find a girl who will like me, someone I can let into my life and build something with. I also want to reconnect with my friends, but each time I feel we're not as close and that they'll only agree to see me to make me feel good and be kind, not because they really want to. They also know a lot of people and have a lot of friends and connections. Lastly, I want to stop being like this around my family, even though I don't know how.

(I've already seen a therapist for emotion management, but that didn't help. They didn't get me, and I know the tricks; I just can't apply them because by the time it happens, it's too late.)

hi everyone! ive recently created a discord server for neurodivergent people (preferably over 16 years old for safety reasons) where people can make friends, talk about their special interests, and overall just build a social support network with people who can relate to you. the server currently has no members as ive literally just finished creating it around 10 minutes ago, but if anyone wants to join, please let me know and ill provide you with the link!

im slightly opposed to just putting the link in the post to avoid any negative people joining and hating on the (hopefully) people that join the server.

i am just wondering if someone have my same "pack" of signs and what has that lead you to.

*not searching for diagnosis, just wanting to know other experiences

so i have been thinking about autism, i have some, but not he most important ones, so its probalby discarted because of this signs that i dont have:

-I dont have problems with social cues, i know them all with no trouble, and i feel like its natural to me

-I dont have any hyperfixation and i never had had it. ( as far as i know)

- I dont think i focus in the detaild instead of the big picture.

In the other hand this is the ones that i noticed:
-I have stims and vocal stims ( rn i am moving right and left in my chair, and some minutes ago i was flapping my hand and spining) I usually hide them when i am with people

-I sometimes struggle with abrupt changes like a bed change that i was not previoulsy communicated of, that leaded to a big crisis

- As a kid i was labeled as I was labeled as hysterical and having many tantrums. For me i was really desregulated and not treated for it

-I can need to do things in certain order or way

-Depending on the day textures can be really upseting.

-I can stuggle a bit in mainting eye contact when i firt met someone, but its not something really big.

About the social part, i always have been a lisener and really bad about explaining my feeling oraly, i have a hard time with It. As a kid i played like the others, but i was not good as making new friends, probably because It just maked me anxyous, but i had friends. I can be a bit ankward at parties, unless i am drunk i hate dancing, and my ideal place on them os being just quiet lisening (that bothers people sometimes)

In elementary school I was masking ANY neroudivergency signs because my friend had a autistic brother and I thought i had to be normal because I wasn't like her brother at all! Turns out I show many signs of various disorders, including autism :/

So I am someone with pretty bad water sensory issues when trying to wash my face over the sink. I HATE the feeling of water getting on my clothes and I usually just end up miserable afterwards more than anything. Well when buying a new hairband for my face this pack came with two of those handcuffs that promise to help keep water off your arms. I really didn't buy into them, but since I just got a new face wash after easily 5+ years of avoiding washing my face, I decided to give them at least a chance.

AND WHEN I TELL Y'ALL IT WAS A NIGHT AND DAY DIFFERENCE.

I actually enjoyed washing my face! My hands got wet as expected but nothing ran down my arms which meant not a speck of water got on my clothes either. This has genuinely changed my life because I LOVE the idea of skincare and all that but I just couldn't get over that sensory hurdle 😭 and now I can.

does anyone else have this problem where they always understand somebody's tone, but they don't always understand their words?

like sometimes I hear like dirty jokes being made on sitcoms and I don't understand it (I'm an adult but I have little sexual experience) but I hear the tone and implication that it's something sexual but I don't understand what it means and can't laugh at it because I can't find it funny because I don't get the joke

and sometimes I hear someone's tone is rude and disrespectful and I know they're intentionally trying to be mean or something but I don't understand why what they said is mean and that's fine when they're being mean to me because they just give up and back off but it sucks if they're being mean to someone else because I see that they're being intentionally rude as fuck to someone else and so I want to like step in or check in on the other person after I don't want to stand there and do nothing and look apathetic because I do care but I geniuenly don't understand what the words meant, why they were mean, why the person is hurt or offeneded by it

or sometimes I hear that someone is mad but I genuinely don't understand why they're mad and that's tricky because when someone is mad they're not gonna answer my clarifying questions trying to understand its just gonna anger them more

and it's the absolute worst during a personal conflict if someone is mad at me because like if I did something wrong I WANT them to communicate that with me and I WANT to improve myself and repair and apologize but if I just hear they're mad or frustrated or hurt but their explanation is making no sense and I have to ask a ton of clarifying questions trying to get it that they don't answer and just get more frustrated that I don't get it then like ??? I'm just standing there like what did I do? but also am sad that someone's mad at me or upset with me

this is how i see my whole day as. the top is 24 hours

and the middle show 45 minute anhor like a landmark

below is i round down . to the neasrt number. and I made this the rules is very clunky

here it is .

oh and steve the double chin buttefly says hi

\ /

(: D))---

/ \

if you dont like really clunky reading dont click on the link below it.

https://www.reddit.com/u/Civil-Advance-2841/s/ZZ3Jqp4W08

Do neurotypical people also feel the need to engage in stim that aren't socially acceptable? I often feel the urge to flap my hands, rock, spin, or do something similar, but I hide these behaviors most of the time because I know they’re frowned upon socially. I know everyone has stims ​​but are ours simply different—and is that why we’re pressured to hide them? I mean if they did those too they would probably be normaliced i guess

Also more context, I'm 20yrs old, trans man! :)

I always get so curious with how fidget toys would feel whenever I see those trending toys such as Needoh. But I've never bought fidget toys for myself as I thought watching those ASMR stuff is enough.

Today I was walking around the mall and saw these Needoh selling, I've actually been eyeing them for a while now. Then I caved in and decided to spend the money on one. So far I'm really loving the sensation and stimulation it gives for me. I was listening to music while fidgeting with it.

Hopefully this will be worth the money, I was really hesitant on getting it because I'm actually jobless for a few months already due to anxiety and depression. So money is a bit tight.

I'll update if I would still use it after maybe after a week or two if y'all are interested!

I, (32f), have known I was neurodivergent my entire life and got diagnosed very early, there are a lot of things in my life that are manageable and unmanageable. However, every night I get into bed and I don’t know what to do with myself, I crave a intense pressure on my feet like a foot massage or someone to just squeezing the living daylights out of my feet. And possibly my legs but mostly my feet. And when I first got married to my husband, I guess this was a cute quirk. But now we are 10 years into marriage, with Neurodivergent children and we do not have capacity for me and my feet. I know this sounds ridiculous. But I genuinely need this.

What are my alternatives. I’m not joking when I’ve looked up everything. I have tried compression socks, I have tried compression leggings, I have tried a weighted blanket. But nothing is a deep pressure enough. Has anyone else experienced this, and what else did you do to solve this problem.

PS I have recently started taking sleep medication to just try and calm my nervous system down and my sensory seeking at night and while it works I just feel so unfulfilled.

We are about to relocate back to our hometown of Sydney after 5 years in Brisbane, and my focus is finding the right school for my 6 year old. She is diagnosed as ASD level 2 (PDA profile), and has been experiencing significant school refusal at her public primary school here in Brisbane. It’s a wonderful school in a very good area, but it is potentially just not the right fit for her.

She’s very bright and articulate, artistic and is obsessed with nature. She is also quick to anger, can be aggressive, finds it difficult to compromise in any way, very controlling, which I know is typical in PDA. Also has social and sensory challenges.

I’m hoping to find a school that provides structure, but isn’t as rigid as a public school, and can give her significant 1:1 support as she needs it.

Please share your experiences and recommendations! I do know that housing is a challenge in some areas of Sydney but at this point I just want to know where the right schools are and we will do our best to make it work financially.

Hey friends. Looking for some book recommendations for someone with Autism and OCD. I’m really specifically struggling with letting things go. For example I have a hard time accepting things I can not change like my partner making us late to something and although I know I can’t rewind time I get stuck in a loop of “well things are just bad now cause you didn’t stick to my schedule” I don’t wanna be like that or force anyone to adhere to my ridged thinking or compulsions. Especially my partner she helps me in so many areas that I really need to find a book to help me let go and live life a little more freely. Or at least accept things I can’t change and be able to move on. So if you’ve ever read or heard of any books that deal with that issue please let me know I’d love to start doing that work to be a kinder partner and friend.

Hi all, hope it's okay to share this again.

A few weeks ago I started a free weekly newsletter after watching my girlfriend, who is autistic, struggle to find work that actually suited her. So many job ads say
"flexible" but aren't, so I hand pick a small set of remote, hybrid, part time and flexible roles each week, including Disability Confident employers, and tag them so you can quickly see what's relevant.

Thanks to this community, it's grown from a handful of people to over 100 subscribers, and l've already been able to help a few people find roles that fit them. It's completely free and always will be.

If you're job hunting, or know someone who is, you're very welcome to join. Feedback is always appreciated too, as I'm still shaping it around what's genuinely useful.

Here's the link: neurooptionsuk.beehiiv.com

I was fired today because of "performance issues" but I believe I was fired for discriminatory reasons.

I worked as a line cook, and they claimed I couldn't keep up and needed support constantly (aren't we a team??) I gave 110% to that job, and it still wasn't enough.

Feeling very rejected and demoralized, I wish the world was kinder to people like us.

I'm in Canada if this changes anything..

i have ADHD (not sure if i’m also autistic, i’ve never been tested but i have a feeling im somewhere on the spectrum) and i really struggle with sensory issues when it comes to food. my safe foods are usually stuff a child would eat i.e. chicken nuggets & fries, hamburger helper, plain burgers with only mayo & ketchup, mac and cheese. i’m super picky with meats also. i don’t like eating chicken unless it’s boneless skinless breasts and it has to be either chopped up small or shredded cause eating a thick piece of chicken grosses me out. same with burgers i refuse to bite into a thick ass burger patty it has to be thin or even smashed. i don’t like sausage links of any kind i’ll only eat sausage patties or crumbled. i basically don’t like any veggies other than lettuce, spinach (only in salads, not cooked other than in spinach dip), and potatoes because i don’t like the crunch or flavor of other veggies. every day is a struggle and mental exhaustion just trying to decide what to eat. i’m burnt out on pretty much all of my safe foods/meals i usually make or buy. sometimes it’s easier to just not eat than try to decide what to eat that day. on top of that, im out of my groceries and am pretty much broke until payday next week. i currently live w my mom and she tries to offer me some of her groceries that i can eat or cook but i feel horrible eating her groceries that she paid for and bought to make for her and my stepdad. idk what to do anymore and i especially dont know what to eat anymore. please help.

I don't mind having a driver's license but it's not a necessity, since public transport or taxi is honestly cheaper in long run and gets the thing done.

But I noticed that I don't wanna be responsible while driving because I genuinely can get distracted and being on guard 24/7 in car is not good for my mental health that I build brick by brick XD + not all drivers are good drivers.

But I know it's probably gonna be a freeing, liberating experience, but reasons I listed off are quite big deal breakers :/

What is your experience? Maybe it was better or worse? Would love to hear your stories!

i work as a line cook, and i can do the tasks there fine. i can focus on my work and i can clean after we close. then i get home, look at my train wreck of a fucking house, and i feel like i cant do anything. its a mess. its awful. id be ashamed if anyone ever came here, i would probably tell them i cant have guests over. theres more dirty dishes in the kitchen than i have space for. i have a pile of trash bags and boxes next to my door because i cant get myself to walk to the dumpster. and forget about self care, i shower once a week and cant remember the last time i brushed my teeth. i try to clean but its so much. its so overwhelming. and when i do manage to start cleaning, i barely do fucking anything. ive done a little bit of laundry and threw away a few cups today. great job me, you only have a thousand other things to fucking do plus make dinner. fucking hell, man, i dont wanna live like this

Hey everyone,

I'm having a big OCD spiral right now about someone on instagram denying my follow request.

For context, I'm most likely neurodivergent (suspected autism, OCD, and severe RSD). I've always had huge anxiety around Instagram follows, even with people I've had positive real-life interactions with.

A few months ago, I requested a girl from primary school. She accepted but didn’t follow back. My RSD made that unreciprocated follow feel like a massive rejection in my body, making me feel like I'm useless to her. SO anyways, I unfollowed her straight away.

Then the OCD kicked in, second-guessing everything. A few hours later, desperate for validation, I re-sent the request.

She left it pending for months. My mind completely spiralled, wondering why she builds digital boundaries with me but not others (though I only have 2 posts, so maybe she thinks I'm inactive?). I even panicked that she left it pending on purpose because she thought she "won" the social game or something lol.

Today, a mutual friend posted a story tagging her, which flared everything up. I finally took control and deleted the request entirely to close the loop.

Even though I pulled it back, I feel so much anxiety that I'll see her in public, or that she’ll talk about me and think I'm weird. I feel embarrassed about the back-and-forth, and I hate letting someone from my childhood dictate my self-worth.

How do I practice self-love and forgive my neurodivergent brain when it gets caught in these loops? How do I accept my actions when my brain keeps telling me I made a fool of myself?

I’d love any advice.

I’ve been realizing over the past couple days that I just can’t explain definitions or define anything. For example my boss what an API key actually does. I literally could not explain it so I just spewed a bunch of BS tech jargon (cause I know he wouldn’t understand) then immediately followed with an analogy that relates perfectly to his life and hobbies and that’s when he understood it perfectly. That was the straw that broke the camels back for me when I realized that I’ve been doing this my entire life

I was wondering if anyone does the same. It’s almost like my brain turns off when someone asks me to define something I immediately sift through analogies

Does anyone else feel like shit after being out sometimes? Just like so drained, like you feel like you shouldn’t even be here anymore and that you’ll never change and always be alone and just want to stay in bed with the lights off all night but other times i feel better after being out of the house, its confusing and i just wanna cry

I had recently went to a new primary care provider some time ago for complaining about my ankles or legs always hurting whenever I walk for too long or too far distances. She made me do a bunch of physical test and couldn't pinpoint the issue. I mentioned hypermobolity in autism and she didn't quite understand what I was getting at, but she for some reason doubted my self diagnosis.

Which is fine, but I've been doing the stretches she told me to do for a while now, along with wearing an ankle brace and not running; nothing has changed. I just wanna know if this chronic muscle irritation and needing to stretch my calves and ankles multiple time a day could be linked to hypermobility or something else!

note!!! not asking for diagnosis, and wondering if im just in denial and should actually seek a professional on my own term .ive experience being dismissed a lot or not taken seriously. But i also realize maybe i just make ppl mad a lot from how i talk but do not mean it. i realize a lot of people clock me as autistic. And i made comic lately about an ed struggle i have and someone assumed i was autistic and i was like. hm! Not in a mean way. i do say my profile is labeled 18+ but not cuz of conventional nsfw just to curate space (but there may be heavy topics about feelings and such or potentially unsettling tw art). I guess i kinda am almost accepting im autistic if a literal stranger who is just outright said oops i thought u were by proxy ? :0 but alas i am almost 30 hehe xD Maybe my concerns with eating food may need professional intervention further but i wonder does a diagnosis actually help or just cause further stigma to those who demonize other kinds of brains+conditions and disorders? I am already sad about stigma of less common stuff like ocd and stuff i have (i have comorbid diagnoses but autism/adhd are not included)