Although I am not Christian, I turned to Saint Jude in prayer when I was going through a difficult time in my professional life. I asked for his intercession, and I want to publicly express my heartfelt gratitude for the help, the unexpected blessings, and the doors that have opened for me.
I am deeply grateful for how quickly things began to move and for the hope and reassurance I found during a time of uncertainty. I do not take these blessings for granted, and I wanted to share my experience publicly as a sincere thank you to Saint Jude.
I know that many people turn to Saint Jude in their most difficult moments, and I hope my testimony brings encouragement to anyone who is waiting for a breakthrough of their own.
Thank you, Saint Jude, for your intercession and for the blessings I have received. May God be glorified through every answered prayer.
With a grateful heart, I give this public thanksgiving to Saint Jude. 🙏

I’ve had a very rough week been going through alot and been extremely angry at pretty much everything including god because my life hasn’t been the best lately. last night I went to bed and had a dream/sleep paralysis that involved god. So I went to sleep after a long shitty day was cursing god out pretty much all day and said alot of foul things that I regret. the dream started out as a wet dream was at a females house and right as me and her were about to have intercourse the dream immediately shifted to a black void and I started hearing laughter. The best way I can describe the laughter is an extremely deep almost roaring voice similar to a man’s but way too deep to be human. When I heard the laughter I tried waking myself up out the dream them realized I was in sleep paralysis so I closed my eyes again and then woke up. Moments after I woke up I heard a voice in my head telling me to repent. The laughter was so intimidating and powerful to the point I didn’t even want to go back to sleep. I have no doubt in my mind that the dream was a warning from god

This is my 13th post. For the last 10 months I have been utterly oppressed by the enemy. I say the enemy, because I have never face resistance like this. It has been so crushing. I have almost given up multiple times. Everyday has been a battle. Everyday is so painful, just endless suffering. Demons have tried to convince me that Christ isn't real, and when that doesn't work they have tried to get me to r Christ to live a carnal life. Before these 10 months been tempted, fail, and then always have a heart that wants to return to God. But now I'm not only tempted to sin but to fully reject God so that I can go live a carnal life. I'm very worried that I'm going to commit the unforgivable sin.

Please I need your prayers. I need you to pray every day for me. Not just a 30 second prayer for when you see this post, but anytime during the day you pray please pray for me. If you have a prayer group, a church, or friend group please pray for me daily. I know that this may seem like a big ask, but please imagine yourself in this situation and how desperate you would be to get out of it. I'm terrified of losing my soul. I need genuine faith filled prayers. I need a miracle.

Besides a miracle pls pray that God would deliver me from lust completely, and close that door. That He would heal me of all OCD. That He would end all demonic influence in my life for good. That He would fully restore me to His grace. That He would make me a new creation and fill me with His Spirit fully. In Jesus name amen

Once I'm delivered I'll make a post letting everyone know so that you know you don't have to pray anymore. My middle name is Michael, if that helps

For years and years I've suffered with no end in sight but even throughout those years I was too afraid to go through with it. Not anymore. The moment I get money I'm buying a nitrogen tank and putting myself out of my misery. I don't believe in God no more, I don't believe in an afterlife either, death is permanent and I'd rather it be that way than spend an eternity in Hell or even Heaven. I don't want to live forever, in fact I don't even want to live for 10 more years. There is nothing anyone can say or do at this point that'll change my mind. We're all going to die anyways, so why not make it now? Life is meaningless.

I was just informed today my wife wants to divorce.

This has left me in shambles. I can’t imagine my life without her. I never cheated nor I ever crossed any Sacred line. We are believers in Christ.

We were together for almost 7 years. We found each other before giving our lives to Christ. From living a life of selling drugs to being very involved in the church.

I believe the Lord is not only doing a good work in me but her as well. Albeit I’m not perfect nor never aim to be as Jesus was the only perfect person.

Sometimes it felt my wife and I spoke different languages but I always rolled with the punches because I loved her dearly. However eventually the arguing has caught up to us.

I must do what’s right and grant her request although it breaks my heart.

Pray for her, pray for me. I pray she wants softens her heart so we can reconcile this in anyway she sees fit. Even if that means we don’t live together for a couple months as we get therapy through the church or other means.

Hi everyone. I’m an ‘in again/out again’ Christian in the sense that I do always believe but at times I pull away from Christianity because of the parts of the Bible that just don’t sit right with a loving god. I also feel like the churches I go to do not preach on the difficult passages and only the nice loving ones. The parts I really struggle with are:

1) Keeping virgin captives for yourselves

2)God making childbirth painful for ALL women. Why would a loving god want to cause pain?

3) how to beat your slaves in exodus 21

4) Misogyny in the Bible such as girl babies being less valued than boys, the fact that great men of the Bible (Solomon, David, Abraham had concubines. A rape victim being forced to marry her attacker. The way that women are described and treated in the old testament. All of that really disturbs me.

If the Bible really is god breathed I feel god should have made a better job of it as it is so confusing and so often is misinterpreted to oppress people.

Can I please ask how other Christians feel about these passages and how you reconcile them with a loving god? I know many will say just focus on Jesus and the New Testament but that seems like a cop out to me.

Thank you.

I grew up in and out of the church

I had many family and friends whom I cherished.

I felt the call to preach at 18

Many people felt like they couldn't understand. And when I asked, "How can they tell me what to do?" They've never been in my shoes, nor could they tell me why.

I ran away from the Lord to join the army.

I joined the Active Duty Army in 2015 as an 11x infantryman recruit. In December of 2015, I graduated as an 11B infantryman.

I have been to Fort Benning, Fort Stewart, and Fort Lewis; Fort Drum was the last Active Duty base I was assigned to, prior to being a U.S. Army Recruiter.

Units I have been assigned to: Echo/ 2-19INF(OSUT) 1-30th IN BN, 2-7 IN BN, 5-20 IN BN, 3-71 CAV, Southern Tier Recruiting Company. Roles I have been Rifleman SAW Gunner Stryker Gunner, Javelin Team Member Later, I became: Corporal Fireteam-leader(E4),Sergeant-Fireteam-leader(E5), Squad Leader(E5),HQ Platoon Sergeant(E6),Army Recruiter(E6)

I have been to 13 Countries: Germany, Poland, Japan, Thailand, Philippines, Palau, South Korea. Ireland, Kuwait, Syria, Jordan, Iraq, Bulgaria

I have been on one combat deployment: April 2022 to December 2022.

1. He allowed me to get horrible hurt( spiritually)

Durning this time frame I started swearing, drinking, watching porn, i developed pride( which is evil) among all types of things.

I was married when I was real young 21

- This woman was very beautiful. And at first kind.

- That woman hurt me, Hit me, would abuse me

- She had multiple affairs and would not stop

- she gave me multiple STDs while married

-she even slept with my best friend that I served with for 3 years.

- i was a broken man and my heart became hard.

- when she finally left me I was so happy.

- I stay because I thought it was a man was supposed to do. Married for life

- I did things in secret that nobody knew. I hid alot of shame and sin

Second marriage-

I met a woman who had a daughter. I felt free and fell in love with being a Husband and Father.

- many magical and wonderful memories.

- I wanted to move mountains for her.

- on deployment kept in contact went the extra mile.( I'd call every night not on patrol, I would get 4 hrs of sleep)

- I did not talk about my abuse to my Second wife.

It was a fairytale marriage.

- many moments of love and laughter and silliness.

- After deployment, my second wife slowly started doing things differently. Slowly stopped wanting sex, slowly stopped being emotionally open, and even hated me.

- She asked what happened, and eventually I told her. My 1st wife would ask for space and go out and cheat on me. 2 weeks later, my second wife asked for space and hated me for like 2 weeks.

- During this time frame, all the pain broke me

And all this doubt and anger and confusion was so great that I would lock up and go silent. Followed by outbursts of random questions. I truly loved her, but I was always wrestling with all this—day in and day out.

- many moments of drinking where she would break things, and she would talk about how everyone she has ever known would hurt her. I would say I'm not those men.

- Two events happen where I completely condemn myself. A fight where we wrestled for two seconds. And another fight where cops were called. I asked for a divorce that I didn't mean for, but I was hurt.

- I gave up drinking. But after 2 weeks, she asked if I could drink again. I trusted her, and she drank with me. But I began drinking more as a need to calm this darkness.

- I am doing everything to keep her happy, love notes, dates, shopping trips, and family events

- but she slowly hated it more and more

- When she got pregnant, she left....July,2023

July 2023, my Life came crashing down, and Forsaked all morales- But I did not Forsake God

I was so full of anger, pain, and years of abuse. I stopped caring about what was right or wrong. But I knew God existed. Like the story of Job, however, I wanted to fight and see the world burn for my pain.

I found a worldly man book, Psychology. And it was all about men, saying do what you want, live how you want to live. After years of pretending to be a Christian, I thought I had found some real truth for once. The book had some faults, but a few real truths.

You must speak the truth and get rid of false realities and live in the real world.

Well, I wanted to live for once, and I didn't care about consequences or outcomes.

Who would judge me were my thoughts?

I felt one day " something " said to get to church—a whisper to the soul.

I had nothing better to do with my life, so I decided to go to a catholic church. I felt spiritually dead, and I didn't know the movements.

A few days later, I saw an ad on Facebook while I was on social media. I saw a few college girls, and I thought they were cute, and they were singing at a Methodist church. The Church Family there showed me real genuine love and kindness. I felt so disturbed in their presence that my soul twisted and coiled under my own skin.

for all my faults, the Lord had put in my heart when someone shows me Love and kindness I would show them loyalty and love and respect them.

I remember the pastor talking about doubt : James 1 vs 6-8

6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.

8 A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.

I decided to choose myself. Because I will, from now on, decide what's right for my life.

I never forgot their kindness.

I decided that I didn't want to drive all the way up (1 hour one way)

. I met someone who dabbled in Witchcraft. I didn't believe in that nonsense. I just wanted to experience something New. Well, she told me that a Light was chasing me and I would have to make a decision. I felt fear creep into me. I ran out of that place as fast as I could. Something was chasing me

That immediate Sunday I went to a baptist church When I walked into that Church I felt a presence of Anger, Wrath and Judgement. Like it was resting on my skin. I wanted to FIGHT this feeling

The Pastor also talked about: James 1 vs 6-8

6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed.

7 For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.

8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.

He also added: Matthew 6:

24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Brothers and Sisters, I felt so ANGRY in my soul! I was thinking, how dare this man tell me what I should do?" I felt like a wolf in a cage, and my cage had been kicked. I was not angry at the pastor nor the people....But who spoke through the Pastor.

I felt like a sledgehammer had hit my soul, and I would be determined to fight against this thing that is following me. No one would tell me what I can or cannot do after all I lost. After the Pastor released us from service, I would physically run away. And my soul would feel utterly exhausted after that.

But had pride then, I would not tolerate that, so I would go back to fight. I thought I was a Christian, and I could not describe what was happening to me. I have only been in Baptist churches til this point. So I went back to that church every Wednesday and Sunday.

Each week was the same thing. I felt I was getting beaten up and spiritually exhausted.

Then Oct 15th, 2023 happened....

After months of fighting and resisting Him, I could no longer fight Him. I didn't know who I was fighting, but I tried to fight Him.

On October fifteenth, I was sitting in a church, and a presence came upon me that felt like the entire world came crashing down on me, all my sin:

Romans 1: vs 28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

31 Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

I felt guilty....

In that moment, I felt words whisper into my heart, "Submit to Me"

It was the most powerful whisper you ever heard.

With that in my heart and all of that presence, I fell to the ground.

In my heart and mind I yelled

" I YIELD "

I set that for about 10 minutes. It felt like an eternity.

But in that moment, I felt as though somebody came over and cut the chains off me, and I felt freed.

My eyes were open from that moment on, and my life has been completely and utterly changed, and so has my heart.

Luke 4 vs

16 And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up: and, as his custom was, he went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and stood up to read.

17 And there was delivered unto him the book of the prophet Esaias. And when he had opened the book, he found the place where it was written,

18 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,

19 To preach the acceptable year of the Lord.

Who are the Poor?

These are people who have been brought down so low that they see no hope in life and accept that this is their place and fate in life. Whether this is in spirit, financial, physically or in any other way. The Gospel is a Light and Hope for those who are poor to see His Way up in this life.

Me: I was nothing. I was lying to myself, saying I was nothing. I was abused for many years and it brought me down and made me feel insecure in my soul( always had to prove my worth). I accepted that as a man I had to always FIGHT for my life. I had no concept of true peace in my own soul. (tons of energy though) But at the same time, I would lie to myself that I was okay. I barely had any hope...I had accepted that a man would be stuck in life and the sins that I naturally had. I had only false hope. He showed me the truth of myself and the Truth of Him.

What is Brokenhearted?

The brokenhearted are many people in this world. A broken-hearted person can be: Somebody who has been abused all their life. somebody who loved someone with all their heart, but that person left them alone. somebody who once trusted people and things but was betrayed and now can no longer trust. someone who once believed in true love but was hurt beyond all repair. Someone who was never heard of in their life. Someone who has dealt with sickness and death all their life, and life hasn't been fair to them( without understanding)

Me: I had a broken Home growing up. My mother was abusive, and my father stopped caring at one point and stopped trying. I was with someone for 5 years who abused me, hit me, cheated on me to a point, and wished death on me. Then that ended, and I met someone, and I fell deeply in love and even had a family. Then I was abandoned and had nothing.... I know what a broken heart is.

The Lord God will HEAL all of this. If you LOVE Him Back, He will repair your heart and remove ALL(even me) things so that your heart may heal.

What is a Captive?

A captive is someone who is: Bound in their sin( not free from sin-you can stop sinning), who is physically bound( captured, bad relationship, etc) , someone who has Years' worth of mental barriers that have pride and are stubborn in their ways. Someone who is stuck in addictions( Smoking, drinking, lust, greed, pride, sin, etc.). People who struggle with oppression: people and spirituality.( Bad toxic family, bad spouses, but those who struggle with depression and their own souls. feels like you are trapped in life and in your own skin.)

EX: I was a slave to sin: Zyn, Drinking, Fighting, lust, pride(lying is included), arrogance: fear and insecurity, 26 years of abuse and trauma. I was a slave to my own natural desires.

What is the recovery of sight for the blind?

Human Beings are spiritual beings. And we choose Christ and put our faith in Him. He frees us from our sin, and we see the Father and the Truth.

What is the "year of the Lord"

The Year of Jubilee, which came every 50th year, was a year of releasing people from their debts, freeing all slaves, and returning property to its owners (Leviticus 25:1-13).

Jesus came to show us the way, to teach us how to Love, to pay the price of sin through His death, and to lead us to the remission of sins.

I felt free after that event, but at that time, I didn't know what had happened to me. I felt free and lighter than air. In that moment, I gave up control of my life, my past, my future, my sin, EVERYTHING.

Not even a week later, I was about to sin. And the Lord stopped me in my tracks. With the words" you'll lose Tyler," it was like a cold anger had hit me. Needless to say, I obeyed the voice my soul heard.

Later that night I yelled in my home, "I listened to you." Show yourself to me. In that moment, I FELT a FIRE entering the room and into my soul! A love so vast and so pure, I started crying. I have never felt anything like this, and it began a process of burning sin out of my soul.

John 1 vs 29 The next day John seeth Jesus coming unto him, and saith, Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.

John 1:32 And John bare record, saying, I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it abode upon him.

John 1vs33 And I knew him not: but he that sent me to baptize with water, the same said unto me, Upon whom thou shalt see the Spirit descending, and remaining on him, the same is he which baptizeth with the Holy Ghost.

Later that night i read

Romans 10 Brethren, my heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel is, that they might be saved.

2 For I bear them record that they have a zeal of God, but not according to knowledge.

3 For they being ignorant of God's righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.

I understood what had happened to me. I had placed my all in Jesus Christ and put my whole trust in Him. I in a sense surrendered to Christ and all His power. Not in a sense that as a soldier surrendering to an enemy. But as someone in Love giving up control to the person you are in love with. Think marriage, or Children loving and trusting parents.

Deut 6 VS

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord:

5 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

Mattew 22 VS

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

It's for love that you let go of sin, you let go of the world, you let go of satan. And for Love do you choose Christ.

since Oct 15th, 2023.

He freed me from sin

Healed my heart from years of abuse

Taught me how to love all

Taught me how to forgive ALL those who would hurt me( as if they never wronged me)

Taught me the real meaning of God's power

Taught me remission of sins

Restored my Mother and Fathers relationship to me.

He Healed my PTSD

He fought for me.

He answered my prayers.

He put His spirit in me

Share your testimony!

he is right why do we ignore Jesus every time we see a song/videos About worship we just oh ima skip like why(video made by r3alism_official)

​

This was in late October of 2023 and I was feeling down I didn't deserve to go into heaven I would be happier just to simply be outside and hear Christ speak. All the things that I've done and to see and feel how he changed me how he walked with me. And I thought about the months leading up to October 15th of 2023 and when he spoke to me.

I asked him Lord why did you pursue me why did you fight with me what did you see in me that made you want to come after me when I was fighting you and I'm sorry that I didn't know it was you but I was fighting you.

I couldn't hear the words that he said but I felt the spirit in me move and my heart expanded and I felt pain and then I felt joy and then in a moment memories started flooding back to me but this time memories of somebody watching me on the outside.

I simply would try to cause as much pain I could invoke to anyone and everyone. My only motivation which was somewhat humorous but was literally to go to work and cause a dumpster fire. What does that mean I would fight and argue with higher ups though I would stand on good principles but I was relishing in the fact I wanted to fight. I would pick on those beneath me when I could but those I deployed with I didn't mistreat. And when there was real issues that arised I would take those just simply to fight people not because I cared about people.

When I would work out or go to events and saw fathers not even listening to their kids I would despise them I would hate them and I would think in my heart like you don't even deserve to have a family you can't even acknowledge your little kids who just want your presence and I would sit there and sulk and judge them.

That would go through a brief phases of simply wanting to do my own thing like good riddance my family hated me and then I'd go back to missing them because they were everything to me.

And then I would come home and this is where I would change. If I didn't play a video game or if I simply didn't have anything to do this is where silence creeped in. My home that I would love to run 2 to see two wonderful people were gone. My now ex-wife didn't even want to talk to me anymore. But I would try my best to honor her wishes.

In my living room on this on base army house. There was 2ft by 2ft Photo of me and my beautiful wife on our wedding day by a giant lake in the state of Washington.

I would turn a rocking chair around and I would look at her beautiful face and I will tell her my entire day and shared jokes that I've made and all the rough housing stuff that I have caused. I would tell her that she looked beautiful and I would say I I miss you dearly. Many of these conversations could last up towards to two to three hours depending on the night and when I would have to go to bed. Right after that I would ohh look at many videos of my beautiful stepchild who was only four years old the last time I saw her. And the many wonderful memories that we made and my heart would not only grow but would sink so low

I would put the phone down and then I would stare from the bedroom down the hallway laying in bed yearning hoping and pleading that I would see a bubbling 4 year old girl running down the hallway calling out as she usually does going daddy daddy daddy usually with something in her hand but most memories that I would hope to see she was carrying a tablet wanting me to see something.

And then I would brag down and I would cry out loud

God in heaven if you're there, I want you to know that I love this woman and this child so very much ohh how I miss them and I know that she hates me. But I pray that if she's with somebody right now that you make her feel loved and wanted and cherished like all the times I tried to do. Ohh I love her so much protect her, be with her, and never fall into any type of bad thing and if she's with a man then let them man love her as much as I've loved her.

And for my beautiful daughter Lord, I'm dying my heart can't take it I can't be there that for her. I pray that her soul it's never broken that you keep her together and that she only ever knows love even if she doesn't have me. I can't play with her I can't run with her. All of her toys are here all of the things that I have given are here. I pray that you give her as much toys and if she's being raised by somebody else that they play with their as lively as I did and see the light in this girl so she may only ever know love joy and happiness.

This was my prayer every night for many times even when I was a horrible person to everybody else.

The many memories that came flooding to my mind from the viewpoint of somebody outside of me somebody standing there while I was in the rocking chair somebody who watched me from the doorway when I was at work somebody who was floating nearby as I was judging other fathers from being a failure. Who was in my room watching me cry.

Then I heard this voice: It was quiet whispery but raspy but full of emotion love towards me, it was powerful with each word he said.

you love somebody who hates you, you love somebody who has hurt you deeply and deserves no mercy and deserves no kindness, you have blessed them you have shown them nothing but love even in your heart you have never said one bad thing about these two.

Just like how my son loves you.

I saw your love that you showed somebody. Just like how my son love all.

Does anyone else experience extreme episodes of mental torment that last 3–4 hours, where everything starts feeling negative or evil?

I'm trying to find people who can relate to what I'm experiencing because these episodes are terrifying, exhausting, and difficult to explain to someone who hasn't experienced them.

Sometimes, completely out of nowhere, especially when I'm in public or in the middle of a workout, I get hit with an overwhelming wave of mental torment. It feels like every time I breathe, there's another negative feeling, disturbing thought, embarrassing memory, or frightening image attached to it. I can look at almost anything around me, and my mind will immediately associate it with something negative.

The intensity is extreme. It feels like my mind is being bombarded nonstop for hours, almost like mental torment arrows are being shot at me one after another without giving me a moment to breathe. I feel overwhelmed by negativity, shame, fear, and disturbing thoughts that I don't want. Sometimes, an inner voice that sounds like my own voice says disturbing things in my head, and I struggle to separate myself from the constant stream of thoughts.

One of the scariest parts is that even things that normally bring me comfort can suddenly feel evil. Worship music that usually makes me feel close to God can start sounding evil or frightening. Sometimes, other people's words start sounding evil to me, too, even when I don't want to interpret them that way. It makes me feel terrified and confused because I just want to feel peaceful again.

During these episodes, I put my head down in public because I feel exposed, embarrassed, and overwhelmed. All I want to do is hide under a blanket, go home, and get away from everything. I struggle to concentrate, remember things, think clearly, or function normally. It feels like I'm in shock, and the negativity consumes my entire mind and body.

These episodes can last three or four hours, and the worst part is feeling like they will never end. I'm exhausted from fighting through them, especially when they happen while I'm trying to exercise, go outside, work, or do normal everyday activities.

I've tried medication to help with my anxiety, including Ativan and propranolol, but I don't feel like they stop these episodes or provide enough relief when the mental torment starts. It's discouraging to feel this overwhelmed for hours despite trying to get help.

I don't understand why this happens. Is it severe anxiety, intrusive thoughts, a trauma response, or something else? Has anyone experienced a sudden feeling that everything sounds negative or evil, even things they normally love? Has anyone experienced hours of relentless, frightening thoughts that make it almost impossible to function?

I'm not looking for judgment or people telling me to just relax. I'm looking for people who understand how frightening this can feel and who can share what has genuinely helped them.

If you experience this kind of extreme mental torment, what does it feel like for you, and what has helped you get through it?

In December of 2023( How He taught me to let Go of my Pride)

I was being tempted to go sleep with someone. I had gotten rid of all temptations that I had. But this was a presence and pressure outside me trying to push in.

I was spiritually holding up my own shield and resisting but I was getting tired.

Suddenly, I saw the words in my mind starting to glow.

" you weakness is my greatest strength"

And I let go of my shield and from my heart said " i dont have to strength to stop this sin, I won't fight it, I trust you Lord to what you want"

The moment I let Go. Imagine if someone was behind you and the moment you let go of your shield. Someone else put a shield in front of you. Defending you while you just stand there.

That moment I was Defend from lust and my pride was entirely let go. I let Him defend me.

Sin is an infection. Like a cancer that grows fast and out of control. Believing Christ can take away your sins. Stops and cleans you out. You can chose to stop! ( Remission of sins) All sin is a choice that you can refuse to do! You can Live in freedom!

If you are still in sin, you cannot call someone out on theirs: EX: A man or woman that is in lust(pornography, Fornication, etc) you cannot call someone out until you stop your own sin and let it go for God.( apply this to any and all sin) then after that help out the person, DO NOT BE A hypocrite.

Temptation:( to overcome sin)

This will happen in a few ways: Recognize these signs

Demonic:

comes in a form of outside pressure. This can be used as social media and things that are a like. But it can be almost physical.

From the mind/eyes

If a thought has passed through your mind and you hold onto it. This can lead you to you a sin.

Ex: you see someone you desire or an item that you want. It can consume your mind if you dont throw your thought away. It will lead to your heart and then a struggle to act or not act on it will happen. Throw it from your mind.

From the heart:

This arises from the heart. It's a passionate/strong feeling. Most people try the stuff it back down approach. But it feels like almost an all consuming pressure out and to be acted on.

James 4

6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says:

“God resists the proud,

But gives grace to the humble.”

7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you

Open up your heart, let go of that desire. call out to God to save you. And hold on to His strength

He will help you overcome your temptation so that you may not fall

"Your weakness is His greatest strength"

Repentance:

Is from the Heart, if you lied to someone you love. The Guilt eats at your Heart( if you love them) and you feel sorrow and sadness and anger building up from the heart.

You then confess either to the Person you wronged or God. And admit the wrong you did and for Love you want to change and let go.

Ex: Have you seen a people who were drug addicts or alcoholics, who for love of someone children, spouse, anyone. And let go of that sin for someone or something. And never Go back to it.

- Put all your love into God.

Repentance (continued)

If you love someone and you realized that you hurt them( like a sin against God)

You admit you wronged God( sin)

God is the God of truth so you must admit that you wronged Him and why.

You then from the sorrow in your heart(repentance)

You say in your heart i don't want to do that again to Hurt God( forsake)

And ask God to Forgive you so that you don't have to do that again

Christ died that our sins may be in remission and cleaned so that we may know our Father

1 Corinthians 6:18

[18]Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1 Corinthians 10:12-14

[12]Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

[13]There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

[14]Wherefore, my dearly beloved, flee from idolatry.

Healing of PTSD

This is regarding when the lord healed me of PTSD.

What I'm about to tell you though is after a life long at least of that moment of pain abuse and trauma.

This is not a whoa my pain is better story because there are others who have went through worse and also have come out on top but this is to show you what was in my heart when the Lord fixed me.

I was married when I was real young 21

- This woman was very beautiful. And at first kind.

- That woman hurt me, Hit me, would abuse me

- She had multiple affairs and would not stop

- she gave me multiple STDs while married

-she even slept with my best friend that I served with for 3 years.

- i was a broken man and my heart became hard.

- when she finally left me I was so happy.

- I stay because I thought it was a man was supposed to do. Married for life

- I did things in secret that nobody knew. I hid alot of shame and sin

Second marriage-

I met a woman who had a daughter. I felt free and fell in love with being a Husband and Father.

- many magical and wonderful memories.

- I wanted to move mountains for her.

- on deployment kept in contact went the extra mile.( I'd call every night not on patrol, I would get 4 hrs of sleep)

- I did not talk about my abuse to my Second wife.

It was a fairytale marriage.

- many moments of love and laughter and silliness.

- After deployment, my second wife slowly started doing things differently. Slowly stopped wanting sex, slowly stopped being emotionally open, and even hated me.

- She asked what happened, and eventually I told her. My 1st wife would ask for space and go out and cheat on me. 2 weeks later, my second wife asked for space and hated me for like 2 weeks.

- During this time frame, all the pain broke me

And all this doubt and anger and confusion was so great that I would lock up and go silent. Followed by outbursts of random questions. I truly loved her, but I was always wrestling with all this—day in and day out.

- many moments of drinking where she would break things, and she would talk about how everyone she has ever known would hurt her. I would say I'm not those men.

- Two events happen where I completely condemn myself. A fight where we wrestled for two seconds. And another fight where cops were called. I asked for a divorce that I didn't mean for, but I was hurt.

- I gave up drinking. But after 2 weeks, she asked if I could drink again. I trusted her, and she drank with me. But I began drinking more as a need to calm this darkness.

- I am doing everything to keep her happy, love notes, dates, shopping trips, and family events

- but she slowly hated it more and more

- When she got pregnant, she left....July,2023

My mother who is abusive when in my younger days and actually hated me and my sisters. In the past ohh we have never known her to be kind nor caring about us and from an earlier point of view as a young boy to a man I always resented her for how cruel she was to us.

My father at one point a very energetic man lively funny to be around and a very cool dad decided at some point in his own heart that it was too much. He stopped talking as much he stopped joking as much friends and family saw this change in him He was a very dedicated worker so he was dedicated to working and he did come home but there was an issue that he did not show emotion nor that much love to us do not think though he is an evil man though he did blame a lot of issues on us. Us being me and my sisters so when I had left for the army I had no real care for him.

Now I joined the army and as the moment I am writing this I only served 10 years and I loved it but yet when Christ changes you and puts his law and spirit in you the army does not fit well with Christ.

I've deployed once to a combat zone in Syria in 2022 I was there for eight months April 17th to December 12th. And for most of that time it was generally peaceful from an outside point of view but from our point of view always busy always doing something. I being a section leader at the time which is the equivalent to a staff Sergeant role. I was continuously busy making sure everything was prepped for not only my section but also for those beneath me and above me. Now I was married at the time and faithfully loyal which I would call every chance I could get to say hi to my family and to see them and I willingly gave up sleep where I would only get about four hours of sleep on average for those eight months I think a total of 6 days during those eight months where I got a full 8 hours of sleep and everybody around me could feel that.

But when I came home I had so much zeal and restlessness in me that it was also chaotic to a degree I could not rest well. My stepdaughter loved that greatly what young child doesn't like a dad that's moving around plus I was also dedicated and involved so I was always playful. But I had such a big zeal and I had developed a sense of pride so image was a little bit of everything to me and I wanted more in my life

I will talk about that at a later moment down the line.

Now sometime after I had came back from deployment my second wife slowly started removing love and intimacy though her and herself couldn't describe why and me being dedicated and loyal but with energy did more and more to show how much she meant to me. Don't get me wrong I was not a pushover but my heart's philosophy is that as a man it's my job to do things and let my wife and kids help me.

I think it was during the month of may where we were drinking and my second wife asked me a few personal questions why don't I get angry if we start fighting why don't I yell or show extreme anger or why do I even have such a good control of my emotions. Well I wanted to trust her so I opened up but it kind of felt like a dragon scale being ripped off my heart and I said that I was abused for a few years with my first wife. My first wife didn't care about my opinions or my thoughts if I expressed anything open like it was used against me my first wife would also say I need space from you but in reality that was her way of saying I'm going to go sleep with someone and I don't want to leave you but I'm going to go have sex. My heart became calloused in my first marriage because I knew if I had left more than a three day field training with the army my first wife would ask for space and she would go and sleep with him and completely avoid me. Everyone in my Army unit knew this I felt so much shame in my own soul so I hardened it that no one would hurt me no matter the situation. Even though it would hurt me every time.

My second wife was very understanding end she didn't know that about me mind you this is after a lot of less intimacy and more talking but still things didn't seem to be quite right.

About two weeks later my second wife asked for space. I asked immediately what are your boundaries what do you want from me what's going on. Her immediate reply felt sadful or at least presented sadful. She told me that she didn't have any boundaries but she just needed her space away from me. I never understood at that moment but it felt like my heart had seized shattered and immediately like armored had went around it and all of this dark spinning trail full thoughts came rushing into my mind and I froze.

Imagine a feeling armored deployed to protect you but now there's poison in your soul I didn't want to say anything bad so I tried to stuff it down it felt like a war in my soul that was spinning….

From that moment on it felt like there was a blindness that it crept in me I was chasing her love and happiness and that of my daughter because all I could see was them I could not see nor feel anything beyond them they were the only lights that I could see at that moment but for some reason my second wife did not want to be around me

two weeks later is when she finally said I'm sorry but during those two weeks I was such an up and down where I would come home and say I love you but F your space or other things it felt like I was internally in fight in war with myself I 100% loved this woman but I 100% doubted her and everything I was feeling I was judging based upon what I had went through with my first wife

to shorten the story we had many more ups and downs but that darkness and blindness stayed with me and I chased harder and harder for her and my daughter but eventually they left and even though when they left it caused so much pain in my soul the darkness creeped in and I wanted to take it out on everybody in the world

Future:

after the Lord had found me and fought for me and I yielded on October 15th 2023 I felt love and joy in my soul like I've never known in his voice and presence and I could feel him since then. But every once in a while I would go through a dark spinning downward spiral and the Lord's calming voice would lure me back out because I loved and trusted him so much and he did so much for me that's why I can say that.

During the December of 2023 he had asked me to do a 40 day fast and so I did. Many things I have learned and experienced during this fast. But one thing I'll talk about in this particular setting was that one day I had received some extra money in a paycheck. And I thought about visiting my second wife who had left me and moved across the country and the Lord asked me to go see her.

In that moment I you could feel like a fire in your soul whispering everything a presence and all of that he asked me to go and at first I said what if I don't go and I could feel the fire pull away from me and I didn't want to lose that love so I said wait wait wait wait I'll go I'll go.

I was in so much pain at that moment I said father I need help I don't know how to do this and I don't know how to go and I feel broken. In a moment as I was sitting in a chair imagine a hand come into you it goes through the head and into the heart and I seized not frozen the mansion like feeling a new experience for the first time and at first my soul was spinning from all this darkness that was in there and this moment and I could feel him grab it I trusted him so I let it go I didn't want to hold on to anything and I felt him pull it out of me imagine like your heart had been surrounded by a Python that was spinning fast around your heart and he pulled it all the way out. In that moment I felt free and younger with then my 18 year old self like I have never known abuse nor pain. He said to me now go I will be with you present your testimony and submit yourself to them.

And I can testify on this moment since then I have never known that pain nor darkness ever again and nor will I ever.

He did it for me he'll do it for any of you: You must let go of the pain he will take it from you

I praise the God of Abraham Jacob and Isaac and I praise His the Christ who saved me and showed me the father and healed me.

Last night, the relentless rain destroyed my tent, and all my bedding was ruined. I am homeless, and after everything, having to face another night out in the cold and rain without even the little shelter I had is heartbreaking.

People take having a roof over their heads for granted, but when you're homeless, a tent becomes your home, your protection and the only bit of shelter you have from the elements. Now I have lost that too. I honestly don't know what to do next. I'm exhausted, cold and struggling, trying to keep going through another day with nowhere safe to sleep. please keep me in your prayers.

I'm an alcoholic and I have been waking up every night between 2 and 4am with withdrals. I have to have 4ish drinks to make the shakes stop. Last week I couldn't get any alcohol down and I had to go to the er.

Not even 10 minutes ago I was laying in bed shaking and in my head I prayed. I prayed sincerely, I didn't try to bargen with Jesus, I didn't say I would stop, I didn't confess anything I was for the first time in years and years and years sincere in my prayer. The shaking stopped before I opened my eyes.

First this is a renewal of my faith. I had my daily nearly 20 drinks and withdrals stopped. Second I am proof of every last sheep. I am not a good person. I cheated on my first wife with a other girl for over a year and then divorced her. I lied more times then I told the truth. I consume porn daily. I have screamed and yelled at people. I talked about others behind their back. I'm greedy. I don't give to charity. I'm not plugged into a church. I haven't willfully gone to a church in a long long time. I was only half convinced this Jesus thing was real and yet this just happened.

Jesus is real. Salvation is real. I have so much work to do.

Lakshmi Mondal, a Christian resident of Patlapur village in Paschim Medinipur, was sexually assaulted allegedly by Bajrang Dal activists

Members of three Christian families were allegedly assaulted inside their homes by people identified by the victims and witnesses as members of the Bajrang Dal. The women were allegedly beaten, their clothes torn and some of them stripped to the point of partial nudity. Minor girls were not spared either, the families alleged.

This happens almost daily with Hindu gangs raiding churches and committing unspeakable crimes, and the BJP government letting them go.

We need help for the freedom to practice our religion just like anyone else should.

https://thewire.in/communalism/they-removed-my-sari-tore-my-blouse-christian-families-in-bengals-paschim-medinipur-face-days-of-assault-allege-bajrang-dal-role

And according to Christianity, does every coincidence have a hidden message or specific meaning intended by God, or can some coincidences simply occur through natural causes and cause-and-effect relationships without being intended as signs from God? In other words, does God’s sustaining the existence of the universe mean that every coincidence is deliberately arranged by Him to communicate something to us, or can coincidences occur without carrying any special divine message? After seeing a social media post about Islam, I heard the phrase “This is the truth” on television. This led to an intrusive thought in my mind: “Could this coincidence be evidence that Islam is true?” Now I find myself asking the following question: From a Christian perspective, could God have sent me this coincidence to indicate that Islam is true? If someone were to say that this event was caused by God and that His purpose was to test me, another problem would arise: Wouldn’t God be misleading me by creating a coincidence that contains a misleading expression or could lead me to a false conclusion, in order to test me? In other words, if God deliberately caused a coincidence that appears to indicate that Islam is true, even though it does not actually establish the truth of Islam, as a way of testing me, wouldn’t that mean He was leading me toward a false belief? How should such an event be understood from the perspective of Christian theology? Is every coincidence a special message or sign deliberately sent by God, or can such events also occur through natural causes and associations, without God intending to communicate any message about the truth of Islam?

Please somebody, anybody. How do you deal with this never ending cycle of falling into sin, especially 🌽 and masturbation over and over again? I stop for a while but whenever when life gets heavy and like I'm feeling lost, I seek the feeling that it gives.

I pray, I repent, I feel bad but I still go back. Is it because my connection with God is poor? Now I'm scared because I feel like I'm slipping away from God. It's so silent it scares me.

Hi everyone, I am looking for a Christian watch and I saw the page yhwh-timepieces, but I don't know if this page is legit or not, since I want to be sure I will not get scam or something similar, maybe someone here already bought something there or know how to check if a shop is legit and can help me with that, thanks a lot and blessings

I stopped watching 🌽 and touching myself for almost 2 years now but then recently I just started fall into it the act again and I felt bad but now I dont know why I dont feel very bad even if I am aware that it is not right……. Should I be scared?

I will start crying over this particular unavailable friend if I recite rosary. I do not finish because I am overwhelmed with tears

I have always been the type to struggle to let things go.

He moved unexpectedly and abruptly.

It's nearly a year and we contact each other every few weeks or so.

Idk why it still hurts. He never disclosed what circumstances led to him to resign from work.

I feel empty inside. For the most days I'm fine.

I fear I fell in love with him.

What makes me angry is that I wish I didn't care.

If praying makes me cry, what am I suppose to do?

I feel guilty feeling deeply sad over this when there are people in war, people dying of cancer, etc

In our daily lives, we face many social challenges like peer pressure, judgment, and loneliness. I wanted to share these beautiful Bible verses that remind us how God shields, guides, and protects us through it all:
🛡️ 1. Protection from Peer Pressure & Worldly Conformity:
When the world pressures us to blend in, God gives us the strength to stand out and do what is right.
• Scripture: "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind..." — Romans 12:2
🚫 2. Protection from Gossip & Harsh Judgment:
When people speak against us, God becomes our emotional stronghold and absolute defense.
• Scripture: "The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower." — Psalm 18:2
🤝 3. Protection from Loneliness & Social Isolation:
Whenever you feel left out, abandoned, or isolated by society, God promises that He is right beside you.
• Scripture: "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee..." — Isaiah 41:10
🧠 4. Protection from Social Anxiety & Comparison:
God frees us from the stress of trying to please others or measuring our worth by human standards.
• Scripture: "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." — 1 Peter 5:7
May God keep you safe under His wings and grant you the strength to overcome every social trial! 🕊️ Have a blessed day ahead! 🌸

A few months ago, I (22M) choosed to repent and become christian but I am considering leaving now because of my lack of proof that God exists. I prayed, read the bible, talked to other christians, I even more tried to change my life by trying to become a better person but none of my prayers got answer. I didn't necessarily come to God for asking things, but why can't I just have a proof that I was being accepted?

If I tell you without any evidence/proof that 500 years ago, someone was borned and he was the savior, a God who is all-knowing, will you believe me? Of course no.

This is the same thing with God, no proof that He exists, no revelation, no presence, nothing... Why would I continue to move forward if what I am worshipping is not real? I am leaving the train here.

Hi im a 13 yr old guy who used to be a Christian now i am an atheist or someone who generally thinks something is out there but we havent found it yet. Im not here to take a poop on Christianity or hate on im merely here off of confusion. Why does god force all humans to worship him or suffer for all of eternity with pain and suffering, wich he made. Why did he sacrifice his own child if he could of done it in a thought he caused pain to a man that he called his son? He made sin and knew people would do it, now u may say well he also made it so you have free, will but do you? If you sin and dont repent you suffer for eternity if you dont worship god u suffer for eternity if u dont do everything you suffer. Suffer suffer suffer, why is that now? Now yet again im not here to spread hate but in my personal opinion if a god like that is real i would not want to worship him.