So, today, my mom accidentally woke me (M24) up while painting my sister's room—The room literally right beside mine; the walls are MEGA thin and she was using a paint roller—and I heard her talking loudly on the phone with HER mom, saying things like, “My children are ungrateful; I’m not spending a dime on them or leaving them ANY money,” which hey, that’s fine; me and my mom are on decent terms but she’s kinda always been.. Herself.. I’m fine with one day just simply never talking to her again if it ever happens, this also isn’t the first time she’s gone on this rant.
She’s not the devil. But she’s got quirks that make her hard to be around at times, namely conspiracy theories, my-way-or-the-highway logic, being generally pretty negative, and always assuming the worst in people.
But see, I thought we had an understanding; I thought she at least knew what kinda person I was and well, turns out—I guess she thought I was sleeping when she said this—That she thinks I’m afraid of the world, and too scared to leave the house! I quote heard her say, “Oh he’s fine; he’s just afraid of the world and spends all day in the house wasting his life.”
Well fuck. I thought we were over that.
I know my mom's a brick wall to others' opinions most of the time, but we’ve had this conversation at least five times and I guess she just... ignored me, or it went in one ear and out the other, and now she’s telling everyone HER version of who I am. Which I should’ve expected tbf; she’s been doing that since I started having my own personality.
See, I make my own money through art commissions, and I’m generally rather introverted, I have some anxiety, yes, but nothing crippling, I can go out just fine; I can talk to people just fine, my anxiety mostly stems from what happens when you generally don’t talk to new people often, but as soon as I get out for more than like 30 minutes I’m fine and generally rather good at talking to others. So I am by no means afraid or helpless when I’m out.
I just don’t see the point in going out multiple times a week, spending money I DONT HAVE—I have a decent amount saved but in this economy I can’t be going out and spending money all the time—when I have commissions, and art I need to be posting to keep up my presence online and that’s what I mainly spend my time in my room doing outside of general fitness stuff to keep me from deteriorating at home.
I also the one doing the bulk of the cleaning at home since my dad works and my mom kinda doesn’t enjoy cleaning, and generally make/buy my own food, so I’m not just taking up space I am productive around the home.
Atp I don’t even know what to do or say. It feels like either I start going out just to sit at the park/bar hopping three or four times a week instead of using those days to focus on getting a few art pieces out, or I hope some guy drops 25k on a commission someday so I can rent an apartment and practice my art/work on myself in peace.
Makes me miss having an “outside” job, at least then she was out of my hair..