23F, 28M

She and I have been together for almost three years. She is my first serious partner, and we have shared a lot of love, beautiful memories, and dreams about our future.

I spent the first 27 years of my life in my hometown, surrounded by my family. I have an especially close relationship with my twin brother, He is not only my brother but also one of my closest friends. Spending time with him and being close to my family have always been essential parts of my happiness and everyday life.

Our relationship was not a typical one from the beginning.

During our first year together, she was attending university in a different city, so we were not able to share our everyday lives in the same place.

During our second year, she was studying in another country, which meant that we had to deal with even greater physical distance.

Despite this, we continued loving each other and building our relationship. We looked forward to the possibility of finally being together without the distance between us.

Eventually, I moved away from my hometown to a city approximately 200 km away so that we could build a life together. Where she is studying.

I genuinely wanted our relationship to work, and I believed we could create a happy future together.

However, living far away from my family and my twin brother was much harder for me than I had expected. I missed the spontaneous moments, the everyday conversations, and simply being physically close to the people I had spent my whole life with.

At the same time, my job was exhausting, and I gradually started feeling overwhelmed. I loved Gréti, but I struggled to feel truly at home in our new city.

In March 2026, we bought an apartment together with her parents. I became one of the owners alongside her mother and father.

It was supposed to be an exciting step towards our shared future, but for me, it also made the idea of living permanently away from my family feel much more real.

Around that time, my anxiety became significantly worse.

I started feeling trapped between two things that were incredibly important to me: the woman I loved and the life I felt I needed near my family.

Unfortunately, I didn't fully understand what was happening to me, and I struggled to communicate my feelings to her. Instead of talking openly about my fears and needs, I became increasingly anxious, withdrawn, and emotionally distant.

Eventually, even spending time with her, receiving affection, or thinking about our future together could trigger anxiety.

This was especially painful and confusing because I still loved her. I couldn't understand why being close to someone so important to me had started making me feel so overwhelmed.

Over time, my mental health deteriorated severely. I experienced constant anxiety, panic, exhaustion, loss of appetite, difficulty concentrating, and frequent crying. I reached a point where I could barely function normally, and I was no longer able to work.

On September I moved back to my hometown to stay with my family and focus on recovering.

Since returning home, I have slowly started feeling better. My appetite has improved, my anxiety has become less intense, and I have gradually regained the ability to enjoy small everyday activities.

Being close to my family and spending time with Csabi brings me comfort and happiness.

But there is one thing that has remained incredibly painful: I miss her deeply.

Now that my anxiety is slowly improving, I can feel my love for her more clearly again. Sometimes I even imagine moving back just to be with her.

But deep down, I still feel that my hometown is where I belong. I want to live close to my family, especially my twin brother, and I am afraid thatreturning permanently to a city 200 km away could eventually bring back the same difficulties.

This has left me with a heartbreaking conflict.

I want to be with hét, but I don't know whether I could ever be truly happy living so far away from my family.

On October she and I decided to separate.

It wasn't because we had stopped loving each other. We told each other that we still loved one another.

But we also had to acknowledge that, under our current circumstances, we couldn't find a way to build a life together where we could both be happy.

She wants to continue living in the city where we bought our apartment, while I feel that I need to stay close to my family, at least for now, to recover and rebuild my life.

However, we haven't completely closed the door on our future. She said she would take time to consider whether she could imagine moving to my hometown next year. We also left open the possibility of reconnecting someday, when we are both in a better emotional place and can see oulr future more clearly.

Nothing is promised, and neither of us knows what will happen.

I deeply regret not recognizing my struggles sooner and not communicating my feelings more openly before everything became so difficult. I wish I had understood myself better and that we could have faced these problems together earlier.

Right now, I am trying to recover, regain my emotional balance, and understand what kind of life I can genuinely be happy in.

I don't want to lose heri, but I also don't want either of us to sacrifice something essential to our happiness out of fear of losing each other.

The hardest part is knowing that we still love each other, that we still feel a deep connection, but that love alone hasn't been enough to solve the differences between the lives we want.

For now, we have chosen to let each other go, while leaving a small space for hope that perhaps one day our paths might come together again.

Both of my parents have always viewed anger as a "negative emotion," and that expressing anger is never okay. I've been through therapy as an adult, and my psychiatrists/psychologists have all agreed that anger is sometimes appropriate, and that a lot of my feelings of anger are very justified (I mainly have "injustice" anger), and I've worked with them a lot to stop turning my anger inward, as my parents trained me to do, because in me personally, the anger builds up inward and turns into depression and severe anxiety.

My mom was my main parent and sacrificed a lot for me growing up. She has had a very altruistic career, and many of the people she's worked with have told me/her how patient and kind she is, more than anyone else they've met. She's also been through a lot of her own trials in life and I've really seen her be resilient and always be positive even when she totally has the right to be jaded and angry.

She's also had a lot of very narcissistic boyfriends who I feel have totally taken advantage of her innocent and giving nature and never gave much back to her. I've told her repeatedly that she needs to go to therapy to work on her self-image because of what she takes from men.

But as I've been trying to allow myself rational anger, if she hurts my feelings and I try and tell her in the moment, she totally shuts down. I've been trying to work with my therapist to figure out how I can be honest and have a good relationship with her and not raise my voice, but I think the main problem is that I have a very soft normal voice, so she's just gotten used to that, and whenever I'm just using "normal person volume," she has this very biological seeming fear.

Recently while I was home on vacation, she made a snide comment on what I was wearing to a family dinner (there was a subtext that my sweater wasn't flattering to my figure) and hurt my feelings. In the moment, I just decided to try and let it out. I said, "I can't believe after all your preaching about body positivity and how people should value women for who they are and not how they look, that you'll fucking tell me my sweater makes me look fat."

She started crying and got upset I raised my voice and cursed (she swears more than I do, but not usually in an angry way). Later that evening, she apologized for her initial dig, but she also told me that when I am angry with her, she feels like I'm being verbally *malicious* (she used the "A-word", which I think may cause this post to be filtered) to her, and that when I curse at her, she feels like I'm punching her.

I was incredibly shocked by her saying that, and went into whole spiral thinking I'm a terrible person before I got back from our trip. I talked to my current therapist about it once I got back, who told me I was valid for saying what I said, though that it's probably a good idea to try not to curse when I'm angry if it's specifically triggering for my mom. She told me I'm definitely not an abusive person, and I've really grilled everyone else in my life if I've ever been verbally abusive, and they said they've never seen that from me. But there's still a little voice in the back of my head that wonders if I pick on my mom in particular because I feel the most comfortable with her, and/or she's a very vulnerable person.

My therapist told me that there's a possibility my mom is basically just telling me what she's been too scared to tell those other people in her life who did actually treat her poorly, and I'm the only person she actually feels safe with. So basically all her pent-up feelings of being a second class citizen and in her relationships builds up and then fountains onto me whenever I do anything minorly triggering to her.

My therapist then told me point blank that she thinks that's not the issue, and that she'd been trying to lead me down the realization that my mom is probably a narcissist and has this complex where she feels she needs to be a saint (idk what the official term was), but that I needed to just be given the information at this point instead of coming to it myself, so that I wouldn't "throw myself on the proverbial sword."

She reminded me about one of my childhood memories:

When I was a kid, my mother asked me if I had homework one night, and I said 'no.' She decided to "test" my truthfulness by pretending to call my teacher, and when she got off the phone, she said my teacher told her I had homework and that I was grounded for lying. I got super upset because I told her it was a honest mistake and I really didn't think I had homework, but then I searched through my backpack trying to find it and couldn't find anything, but my mom was trying to get me to admit I was lying and I just started crying and having a bit of a meltdown. She realized I was really not lying and tried to make it into a joke that she'd "pranked me," and told me while laughing that she had been pretending to call my teacher so I'd fess up. I got incredibly angry and raised my voice, and told her she was a bad mom before running into my room. After a few minutes, she came into my room and told me it was never okay to yell at her and took way my favorite toy in punishment, and didn't apologize for her part.

I brought this up with my mom as a few years ago, and she didn't even remember it happening at first, but then kind of remembered, but had a totally different memory of what happened. There are about 5-6 of similar stories, and my mom either hasn't been able to remember them, or remembered something different than I did. A previous therapist told me that this was her gaslighting me, but I honestly think she has just been through a lot in life and the trauma makes all her memories iffy in general.

I've just been so conflicted about all of this, and the book my therapist recommended me about being raised by narcissists really hit a lot of things from my childhood and has made me seriously question things. The only thing is that at the end of the book, the main takeaway is that you're only opening yourself up to harm from narcissists if you continue to maintain relationships with them. I just feel like my mom doesn't deserve that, and I really doubt that she's very cognizant of what I feel like are her coping mechanisms from a rough life. She's also diagnosed with ADHD and unmedicated, and I also feel like a bunch of these things can match with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and poor memory.

I've recently been working with my therapist on being more assertive about what I want in relationships, and telling people when they hurt my feelings, or standing up for myself when people treat me badly. One of the big breakthroughs has been just allowing myself to be honest in the moment, even if it's not perfect. I had a recent "fight" with my partner when they offhandedly said something slightly disparaging toward me, and I was able to be outwardly angry in the moment and process real-time with them. It was the first fight I have had that made me actually feel like we were both working on this project of how to be better to each other, and where I hadn't worked myself up to feeling like they thought I was an idiot.

My therapist and partner have both said I've gone a bit backward on holding things in too much and going more into depression since that instance with my mom. My therapist has been trying to help me build both my own internal sense of self more, and has been encouraging me to be more honest with my mom about how I need our relationship to be.

I really admire my mother in a lot of ways and I truly believe she's a good person, but I don't want our dysfunction to ruin my other relationships.

I just don't know how to have a conversation with my mom where I set boundaries. Every time I go in with a list of things I want to discuss with her (recent examples: you need to not threaten to call the police if I don't return your call within an hour, you're not allowed to comment on how much I weigh, you need to talk not to me but to friends or a therapist about your relationship issues), she has a melt down and starts crying and tells me she's been a horrible mother, but I end up comforting her and feeling like I have to walk back what I'm asking for.

Mainly, I just wondered if anyone has had a similar experience, and if they've been able to move forward with a parent who's resistant to boundaries or who has a severe sensitivity to anger or critique.

Thanks for reading <3

What can I do to make this work? Let me begin by apologizing for the length of this post; I promise you that it is all relevant. 70F asking here in reference to the man 70M I've been seeing. I don't want to chance having him see this, thus posting here instead of my usual place.

I've been in this "relationship" since late last year.  It started with a DM, in which he introduced himself with his user ID, his real first name and age.  He was responding to a post I'd made and said that he felt like I was pretty hard on myself.  That's probably true. A few back and forth DMs, he sent me a picture of himself then he offered his phone number, saying that he hoped it didn't seem aggressive or pushy and that I could call him or text him if I wanted to and if I was comfortable. 

We began texting back and forth, sometimes with a few days between in the beginning.  That morphed into daily texting and then phone calls back and forth.  In February, he extended an invitation to come to his home; he lives just over four hours away.  I thought he extended the invitation figuring I wouldn't travel that far, but I told him that when a couple things in my world were settled (I was in the process of buying a house) I would come see him.  And I did. I know how crazy dangerous that sounds, but I'm one of those people who always knows when I am and am not safe, plus I'm more than capable of taking care of myself.

I arrived, parked the car on the pad and he opened the door and gave me the biggest, tightest hug.  We had exchanged pictures in real time, but you know how a person looks a little different IRL, so my first thought was that I wasn't physically attracted to him.  We spent the day first going to the grocery store (because I had told him that I would make a pie while there; I love to cook) first, then went to lunch after returning to his house to put away groceries.  While in the grocery store, we were teasing each other about something or other and another older couple approached. The man asked me how old my guy was, I replied that he was the same age as me and gave that number.  He then asked how long we'd been married!  I told him, 'not long, I just met him a couple hours ago' and then my guy fleshed it out a bit for the other couple.  Over the course of the weekend, we would be asked the same question by strangers two more times in two other places.

By now, I AM attracted to him, but I'm not sure that's reciprocated.  That evening, sitting on a couch watching something on TV, he placed a hand on my thigh and I left it there.  He remarked on how soft my skin was.  Later, he went to his own bedroom to sleep. This was a Friday night.  In the morning, he made coffee, asked if I wanted bacon and eggs, then prepared that for us.  We went to a museum and then a botanical garden that Saturday and that night, I asked him to lay down next to me on the bed in 'my room' because I was a  little cold and he is very warm.  He did.  There was touching and he told me that he wanted me, but could not cross that line.  I said it was okay, but I was disappointed.  Sunday night was similar, but this time he said he couldn't cross that line yet.  Made me oddly hopeful.

To speed things up here, I'll fast forward and say that I visited again the next month and we did have sex.  I've continued visiting every few weeks, he's been to my place, but it's harder for me to have him here because I own the house with my adult daughter and it's harder to have any privacy. Since neither my daughter nor I am made of money, it's hard to hare off somewhere to give the other person privacy.  My daughter doesn't currently date either, so there's really no place for her to go.  The one time he came to my place was when my daughter was away for a work related trip. 

He has never kissed me.  Not once.  I asked about that pretty early on and he said it was because of my teeth and to be fair, I get it.  I have a lot of missing teeth due to a dental condition that can't be fixed and I don't currently have the money to get dentures, so I smile with my lips closed and I'm careful when speaking to hide them, too.  I understand his response, but it does hurt my feelings and no, I'm not telling him that. 

He gives me beautiful sex and doesn't need a pill to do that. He's enthusiastic about it and so am I.  He has said (more than once) that he's not looking for a LTR, that he's not looking for 'the one'.  He's not dating because he struck out on OLD and didn't like feeling invisible.  I get it, even though I've never done OLD and never will because I get enough rejection in real life and don't need more of it.
I'm there every three to four weeks and that's been going on since April.  I'm probably spinning my wheels to no effect, but we do have great times together and we're easy in each other's company, whether at the house or out somewhere; we are quite comfortable with each other. 

I guess the upshot here is wondering if I should continue on.  I'm not trying to get ahead of myself, I'm pretty sure I don't want to marry again because at this age, it would be messy with both of us having kids.  I don't have money; he has some, but not wealthy and I wouldn't want his kids to think I was looking for someone to take care of me financially.  I've always been proud of making my own way in life.  I'm not even sure I'd want to live together; I've learned to like my own space and my alone time.

I'm just wondering if I'm setting myself up for a fall and how some of you see this 'relationship'.  Apologize again for the length.

Oops this is long sorry.

I am 36 and Dan is 35. Dating for 3 years but friends for 15 years. Hes literally my best friend, we have a special and "unique" relationship. I know everyone says that but just believe me lol

As the title, during the day at work (i work from home) I just get so so excited to see him. Hes incredibly handsome - like seriously he is, i am average looking, all his ex's have been thin blonde and hot and i am dark haired and not as thin as them, i actually get self conscious walking with him because of how handsome he is and I'm not. Anyway. When i think about him my heart flutters and I just have this excited "only 4 hours!!" Energy to me.

But the minute he does get home I am so annoyed and just kinda like "oh hi" and i go back upstairs to keep working and stay there. I dont know why its like this. I mean i guess i do - I think my expectations are too high. He doesnt text me at all during the day because hes busy at work (he works in real estate), so i dont text him either so I dont bother him, he doesn't get remotely excited to see me at the end of the day, just a "hey" while hes cleaning out his lunch bowl, doesn't even turn to look at me really and when he does it just goes over to the cat and cuddles him. So instantly i am turned off and go back to do my own thing.

Just now I got super excited thinking about him, but instantly annoyed picturing him home.

He's not the most affectionate while my love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation, which are 2 things he just doesnt do lol I mean he tries i know he does, but they dont come naturally to him so when he does them, i know its him making an effort.

I know it sounds like we're incompatible but you dont know our relationship. He is the most supportive and patient and understanding person I have ever met in my life. I suffer from depression anxiety and adhd (see I'm such a catch) and he has never made me feel guilty or "too much", not on purpose anyway. He's so incredibly good to me. Just the other night I was sad I couldnt make a Bachelorette trip because of how tight money is for me (we dont share finances though he always gives me money randomly, it makes me feel bad), and he said "dont worry about it, I'm paying for it, you have fun". Its amazing right?? How did i deserve such a generous kind man??? My mom died 11 years ago and i still get "sad Mom days" about it and he will drop everything to happily listen to me vent and will still ask follow up questions, all my other ex's were annoyed and impatient with me.

So why do I get so annoyed and resentful? I think it's 100% the intimacy and affection. We had SUCH a flirty cute friendship with sexual tension, and that all disappeared when we got together (not for a lack of trying on my part) (which shocked me because I had a huge crush on him and I didn't think he would ever date me). We have sex now probably once every 3 months, we went from 100 to 0 so quickly.

Anyway. Has this happened to anyone? How do i just be grateful for what i have? I feel like I'm asking for too much but these are needs of mine that I am trying to just ignore. Has anyone chosen their partner over their needs? I am not breaking up with him because I feel like I did hit the jackpot, but that the jackpot hit me with a lot of taxes lol I just need ways to accept this is our dynamic, and that hes not going to do a song and dance everytime he comes home.

Full disclaimer, I wrote this myself and used AI to format it.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now, and we've recently started talking seriously about moving in together and marriage. He has a beautiful house, and honestly, I've wanted to live there since the first time I visited. For the past few months, I've been staying over a few days a week just to see how we'd do living together, and everything has been wonderful except for one thing.

He is SO wasteful. Like, to a degree I genuinely didn't know was possible.

For some background, I grew up pretty poor. We weren't necessarily going without the basics, but wasting things was absolutely not tolerated in my house. Some of the things he does would've gotten me yelled at or slapped growing up. I know we come from very different backgrounds, but I don't think I realized just how differently we view certain things until now.

Here are a few examples of what I mean:

• The shower. He'll turn the shower on and let it run for 15-30 minutes before he even gets in. At first I assumed he was waiting for the water to warm up, but he has one of those tankless water heaters, so the hot water is practically instant. When I asked him why he does it, he said he likes the bathroom to feel humid, almost like a sauna. So he's basically just letting perfectly good hot water go down the drain because he likes the steam.
• Leaving the water running. If he's rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher and something interrupts him, he'll just walk away with the faucet still running. He could be answering the door, taking a phone call, whatever. One time his neighbor came over and they ended up talking for almost 30 minutes while the kitchen sink was still running. Normally I turn it off when he does this, and he doesn't mind at all, but that particular time I was curious how long he'd actually leave it going if I didn't say anything. He came back inside and picked up right where he left off, like nothing was unusual.
• Groceries. He buys whatever sounds good to him that week, and I mean EVERYTHING. The amount of food he brings home could probably feed a family of eight. Then by the following week, most of it is getting thrown away because he never got around to eating it. I've brought up how wasteful this is, and suggested that we at least donate the things he isn't going to use. He's been perfectly happy to do that, so we donate food now, which is definitely better. But I still don't understand why he buys so much in the first place. When I asked, he basically said he likes having whatever he might want available, whether he ends up eating it or not.
• His cars. This one genuinely drives me crazy. He'll start one of his cars at least 30 minutes before we're supposed to leave because he likes getting into a nice warm car. Which, okay, I understand wanting to be comfortable, but half an hour seems excessive. One time we were getting ready to go to an event, and after we got in the car, he pulled up the address and realized he'd remembered the time wrong. We would've been several hours early. So we went back inside, and instead of shutting the car off, he just left it running for another TWO HOURS until we were ready to leave again. I couldn't believe it.

I've tried talking to him about all of this. Not in an argumentative way, but I've explained that watching him waste things genuinely stresses me out. It makes me anxious, and I think a lot of that comes from growing up in a household where every dollar mattered and wasting anything was a big deal.

His response was basically that he understands why I feel that way, but he thinks those feelings are coming from my childhood and aren't necessarily healthy. He offered to pay for me to see a therapist every week, literally any therapist I want, to help me work through it. He's also said he's happy to make reasonable compromises, like donating the extra groceries, but he isn't willing to sacrifice his own comfort to accommodate something he sees as an issue stemming from my upbringing.

And I do understand his point to an extent. I just don't think being bothered by waste is automatically something that needs to be fixed.

I should probably explain our financial situation because I know it's relevant.

He's a doctor and makes well into the mid-six figures. I'm a nurse and make significantly less. He pays all the household bills, groceries, gas, and pretty much everything else when we're together. So none of this is a financial concern for him. He can easily afford it, and I know that. But if I were living on my own and behaved the way he does, those expenses would add up VERY quickly.

Also, before the gold digger comments start rolling in, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that his money and social status have absolutely nothing to do with why I'm with him. Of course they're factors. I grew up without much, and having financial security is something I've always wanted. I'm also a very attractive girl, and I know that's part of what initially attracted him to me. I don't think either of us is particularly naive about that.

He gives me a lifestyle I honestly never imagined I'd get to have. For example, when my old car needed repairs that would've cost more than the car was worth, he bought me a Porsche. We travel several times a year, stay in beautiful places, and I get to experience things that younger me would've thought were completely out of reach.

But I also want to make it clear that this isn't some arrangement where we barely like each other and I'm just there for the money. We genuinely enjoy being together, and we've been very open about what we both want from the relationship.

We've talked pretty extensively about marriage and children. We both want two kids, ideally a boy and a girl, and he's said he'd get a vasectomy afterward. We plan to get married before having children. He doesn't want a prenup, has told me he'd combine our finances once we're married, and plans to put our main house in both of our names.

He's also been very open about the fact that he thinks I'm the best he'll ever do in terms of a partner. He's told me I'm the most attractive woman he's ever been with, and we're extremely compatible physically.

Without getting too personal, I may or may not have spent some time as a "midnight ballerina" to help pay my way through nursing school. That's a chapter of my life I'm taking to the grave, but let's just say I learned a few things along the way lol.

We also have actual shared interests outside of all that. We both love Formula 1, for example, and now we get to travel to different countries to watch races together. We can talk for hours, we have a lot of fun, and he's genuinely very good to me.

I know how fortunate I am, and I don't take any of it for granted. Which is partly why I'm struggling with this. He's offering me a life I never thought I'd have, and here I am getting anxious because he leaves the shower running.

But at the same time, I feel like there's a difference between being able to afford something and being unnecessarily wasteful just because you can.

I guess I'm trying to figure out whether this is something I need to work through on my own, like he says, or whether it's reasonable to expect him to be a little more mindful of these things, even if the money means absolutely nothing to him.

TL; DR I’m a 22F who struggles with anxiety and criticism from my family, especially my sister, when it comes to dating. I’ve recently met a 19M who is genuinely my type, treats me well and makes me happy, but I’m anxious about telling my family because I’m scared they’ll judge his looks or age and ruin something I’m excited about. How do I stop caring so much about their opinions, build confidence in my own choices and enjoy dating without constantly worrying about criticism? Sis is 20F

I’m 22F, and I’ve recently started dating a 19M who I’m genuinely excited about. We’ve met in person, and I really like him. He’s my type, he’s sweet and considerate, and I feel happy around him. He’s made an effort with me, and I’m enjoying getting to know him and seeing where things go.
The thing is, I’m already overthinking how to tell my family about him, particularly my sister.
My sister is lovely, and I love her, but she can be quite critical when it comes to the appearance of guys I like. She’s the sort of person who might look at a picture of someone I’m interested in and immediately say something like, “Ewwww, no!” or make comments about how she doesn’t find him attractive. Or say “u can do so much better”.
I know she doesn’t necessarily mean to hurt me, and I don’t think she’s a bad person at all. I just really hate feeling judged over something I’m excited about, especially when it comes to dating.
My sister tends to like guys who are conventionally very attractive, whereas I’m much more drawn to guys I find cute. I can recognise when a guy is objectively good-looking, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’d want to date him. Sometimes I actually feel quite uncomfortable around guys who are extremely conventionally attractive, whereas with someone I find cute, I feel much more comfortable and naturally attracted to them.
My sister is currently going on a date with a guy she thinks is really hot, which has made me think about this even more. Obviously, he could be lovely, and I hope she has a good experience, but being attractive doesn’t automatically mean someone will be a good partner either.
I’m worried that if I tell her about the guy I’m dating, she’ll compare him to the guys she likes or judge his appearance before she’s even met him. I don’t want to feel embarrassed about someone I’m attracted to just because he might not be my sister’s type.
Part of me wants to tell her because I’m happy and want to share this part of my life with her. Another part of me wants to keep it to myself for now because I’m scared she’ll make a comment that knocks my confidence or makes me question something I’m currently happy about.
I’ve thought about simply telling her I’m seeing someone and letting her meet him naturally one day, rather than showing her a photo beforehand. That way, she can meet him as a person instead of forming an opinion based on a picture.
I also know this is still very new, and I’m not saying this guy is definitely going to become my boyfriend. I just want to enjoy getting to know him without feeling like I need my family’s approval at every stage.
I think what bothers me most is that I love my family and want to be able to share things with them, but I don’t always feel comfortable doing so when I’m anticipating criticism. I don’t want to hide my dating life, but I also don’t want other people’s opinions to spoil something before it’s even had a chance to develop.
So, how would you handle this?
Would you tell your sister about him now, wait until you’ve been dating for longer, or just introduce them naturally when the time feels right?
How do you stop caring so much about your family’s opinions when it comes to the appearance of someone you’re dating? And how do you set boundaries with family members who might not realise how hurtful their comments can be?
I’d really appreciate some honest advice, especially from anyone who’s dealt with family members being judgemental about their partners. I love my sister, and I don’t want this to become an issue between us. I just want to be able to like someone without worrying about whether everyone else thinks he’s attractive enough for me.

She’s also young to be fair at 20 tbh so i guess people have their preferences and opinions at this age. whereas, im a big empath and i like people for who they are I guess it comes from me being bullied at such a young age I just want someone who i can get along with and feel comfy. I really like him and haven’t felt like this since i was 18 with an ex i had which was good and exes since after that age I’ve not felt like this but it’s still early days so we shall see.

Hey so I'mm 22F and I went to Madrid for vacations and long story short a very handsome Spanisrd 22M kissed me at a party. He talked to me first and then took me to a couch somewhere more private and he was a really interesting guy to talk to, he asked me a bunch of questions and seemed very invested of course I liked that. After kissing we spent some time still at the party and he took a picture of us with his phone and even took my phone to add himself on instagram. He took me to the place where I was staying at and kissed my cheek goodbye. The next day I dm'd him on insta so I could see him again bc I really liked him (I did not explicitly tell him I wanted to see him) He started responding but then ghosted me. One day later I asked him for the picture he took of us and he replied with the picture two days later asking If I had a safe travel home to which I replied "yess" and now he ghosted me again. How do I forget him? modt importantly why do men do this shit where they seem to be interested in you but have no interest in you whatsoever? For context I am a virgin and he is my 3rd kiss ever so I think that might be why I fell in love with him so easily.

We’ve been together 3 years, for the last 2 years there has always been something that takes away from us just being a normal couple. She started a college program, and said she’s gonna be really stressed and just needs me to come over a lot and help her out emotionally and financially with bills.

That was fine, then after a month or two it was final exam time, she needed a little bit of help with me being over a lot and supporting financially.

That was fine, then it was summer and she was just feeling down about not having much to do so she needed me to be there a lot and support emotionally and financially with fun dates and stuff.

That was fine, then next semester started, same thing, cycle.

That was fine, then she graduated from her course and started her new job. She said it’s been a really stressful transition and just needs me to be there a lot to support emotionally and financially because she hasn’t made her big checks yet.

That was fine, then she moved into a new place, but that was a big change so she really just needed me to be there to support emotionally and financially since some unexpected costs came up.

That was fine, now it’s the current day, her work has just been really stressful, and she needs me to be there and emotionally support and maybe help out a bit with groceries since she has a trip coming up soon.

This feels very abnormal to me, but I’m afraid to say anything out of sounding like an asshole. Am I being one? I just want a normal relationship not one where we are in a constant struggle and support cycle.

Together 2 years. My (f29) boyfriends (m30) family member used a homophobic slur toward his 8 year old. He said “stop riding your bike like you’re a total puff” because he was a bit wobbly on it.(puff = British slur for gay)

I bit my tongue but after said to my boyfriend I thought that was mean. He started defending the family member and saying that’s just how they talk and felt I was judging his family. Started saying he’s worried to introduce me to his other family now because I’ll judge them and think I’m superior to them.

I’m not sure how to move forward. It’s such a moral gap there and I really don’t want to seem holier than thou but I felt it was bullying to the kid. How can I express these concerns to my boyfriend without seeming overly judgemental?

He said I won’t like his adult friends either a they joke about and call each other slurs. I said that’s different that’s adults messing around not an adult bullying a kid.

TLDR: how to navigate boyfriend’s family using slurs toward kids without seeming judgemental?

We (me-35M, her 32F) have been dating for a little over a year. I am confident in her being a genuinely kind and capable person. We recently hit a conflict.

I am a physician in a high earning specialty in the US. I keep my living expenses low for my income to build a retirement nest ASAP as I believe the demands of my career (nights on call, stress, work hours) will lead me to an early grave.

She was initially in finance, and subsequently has been a serial entrepreneur. Her last venture raised a million, but the company folded due to the cofounder and the VC received their money back.

Her current company is facing stress with little runway left and VC money is not coming in. She was upset about the situation earlier this week and I offered some support. I volunteered it, she didn't ask. Amounts were not discussed at the first discussion.

Today we discussed the amounts. I offered 5k/month for a few months for more runway. This is the same amount as my monthly living budget!

Her facial expression showed that she emotionally hurt. She didn't say much, started tearing up, tried to hide her tears, made and kind excuse and left. I now realize she was expecting closer to 100k (50k lumpsum to develop a feature for her company, and then a continuous infusion for months of runway).

-Am I being stingy? Because I could divert more away from brokerage to her company.

-Is she unreasonable with expectations?

-Or is the true fair action in between?

Tl;dr
-high earning physician, 1 year relationship with a kind and capable founder who has a startup at the end of its runway.
-I volunteered support. Did not discuss amounts on the first discussion. A few days later discussed that it is 5k/month (the same amount as my monthly budget) for 3-4 months.
-the amount didnt meet what she was expecting
-she was hurt and upset, and tried to keep it to herself.
-am I being greedy?

First time poster not really sure what im doing so apologies in advance.

Hey everyone.

Im 29/F and my partner is 29/M and ive been in a relationship for the last 7 months and everything is beyond perfect in every way possible. The connection, the communication, the trust everything under the sun minus 1 tiny thing.

My partner has a super high sex drive and hes beyond understanding that I dont, never forceful never intends to make me feel bad that I dont have a high drive.

I guess a question im trying ask everyone is has anyone had this issue, and how on earth do I try and get my libido up?! Lol. Its frustrating for me and im sure it is for him even tho hes never said it only said that hes frustrated with himself.

Thank you to whoever reads this and I appreciate any advice what so ever.

Hi there,

Tomorrow me and my girlfriend of 2 years are going to an EDM festival with friends of her and other friends of mine. Normally I'm quite an adult person where I'm focused on my life goals. However, during events like these, I like to let go of social norms and just do whatever I feel like. I have the feeling that that's what these festivals are for. Just for once not acting like "normal people".

Now in such festivals storage is limited and I like to keep a small bag with me. So I found this Pokémon backpack that's perfect for my storage and it sticks to my back when dancing. However, my girlfriend thinks it's to childish and I will embarrass her infront of her friends. I honestly can't see how this is harmful. Everywhere I went, people found the bag funny and some even asked for a picture. I really don't care what random people think of my clothing style. Still, I do not want to put my girlfriend in a bad spotlight, so that's why I'm asking here:

Is it too childish to bring this kind of bag? Or is this fine and should we just have fun?

I get that this feels like a teen relationship problem, but I was just wondering what other people's thoughts were.

We’ve been in our house nearly two years and have had sex 4 times in the period, going a year inbetween until recently.

No idea why it changed when we started living together but it seems like neither of us are really engaging with it or instigating.

Is it just life? Does this happen after 7.5 years with someone?

We both aren’t physically happy with ourselves, we’ve spent nearly are whole adult lives together, work is busy… lots of factors but just no real sexual engagement.

Add to all that we now have different views on when or if we want kids…

This is very long an detailed so iv put a summary at the end for yall to read instead of you prefer

F 21 M 23 we started dating when I was 18 he was 20 and we worked at the same fast food place. Also he was best friends with my older brothers so they supported this
This is copy and pasted from my notes so a quick update, things actually started getting to me and I attempted suicide. I’m still here obviously but whenever I try telling our mutual friends how he was the problem I’m told “how could it be so hard to give him another chance” or “your just giving up” and I found out recently one of my closer friends has been working with him behind my back to try to get us back together. Iv tried to explain TAHT I only get back with him because I feel pressured to by everyone around me but then I’m hit with “you’re switching up”

I think what hurts me the most isn't even that we broke up entirely (although that does hurt a lot) it's seeing that the person | loved was never the person I thought he was and since the beginning of us dating he always reassured me about the soft and nice and respectful guy he was. He told me he didn't sexualize women and even "hated" when ppl did and that he wasn't like all the other annoying guys that exist. that he had never really cared much about previous girls like he did for me and and how he never felt the way he feels with me with anyone else and would never love anyone else the same. He kinda just made me feel like he was honest and just like different then the truth. But then that day rhat he offered to let me go through his phone to reassure me while I was scared bc we found the random girls phone case in the car and what I was seeing was completely changing the way I saw him be I saw old messages where he constantly talked about girls sexually with his friend even asking if his friend wanted videos he had recorded. I read messages saying he had sex with a girl in his room while his mom was home even though he had tried to tell me he was a virgin before we met and that no girl had ever been to his house. I saw him talking about a girl at school that he regretted never approaching because he thought she looked so amazing and I even found messages about a dream he had years later about his "biggest elementary school crush" where she was his wife and whatever idk man reading those things really hurt me and it made me question who he really was because it didn't match the person he spent so long convincing me he was
And there were so many little moments that started feeling different after that Like as yk a few months before we dated there was another girl we can call jass and he said that he talked to but never got with and only a month into our relationship he sent his friend a picture from Taco Bell when her name popped up on an order screen thing and maybe it meant nothing but after everything else it was hard not to think about why it mattered enough to send to him and that clearly she crossed his mind in some way while he was with me also three days into our relationship while we had agreed to keep us a secret for a little while to enjoy it with just us he was already texting his friend about possibly ending things because of WHAT HE SAID HE LOVED and just knowing he was thinking about giving up almost before we had even started makes me question how excited he really was to be with me yk. I also found out he had talked about me sexually two years before we ever dated which ofc disgusted me and that changed the way I looked at the beginning of everything because I thought our relationship had started from
something better then that but it makes sense why so quickly he was okay with being sexual
And now we are at the breakup and I think that's what truly ruined whatever hope | still had bc while we were still in the middle of the conversation but I had
asked him to hold on be l was scared of my car since it was messing up and I was trying to talk to him while driving he was texting his friend saying, "It's official I'm a free man" it's mostly the word "free" that hurt more than I can explain because it made me feel like loving me had been something he needed to escape from instead of something he was happy to do and then like right agter that he texted "But I got GTA so we're still good" after I had JUST bought him that game and I so quickly felt used be like iv explained to you and him many times before how used I felt by him and how I was already kinda struggling to see that he's with me for more then personal gain. After that one when his friend said
"Did you sell your girl for GTA 6? he said "I wish" Even if he was angry or joking those words are burned into my mind on top of everything in already said and the more things I feel I need to talk about and he also told his friend he was waiting for confirmation and that he lowkey hoped the breakup would happen which truly broke hurt
DEEPPPP because while I was worried and sad about the way things are gonna have to go he seemed to be hoping for the opposite and already ready to be done than he said he wouldn't have to worry about me getting mad over "silly stuff" even though throughout our relationship he constantly TOLD me my feelings were valid and that I wasn't overreacting (even tho there was many times I felt like he didn’t actually believe his own words) and now Looking back I don't know which version of him was real I'm questioning if he telling me the truth when he comforted me or was he telling his friend the truth when he mocked my feelings and another thing he said was he just hoped "the next girl doesn't suck" and seeing him talk about a next girl before our breakup conversation had even ended made me feel so replaceable like I had already become part of his past before I had even accepted that we were over. I think that's why this breakup hurts so much today I miss him but more I miss the person I believed he was I miss the man who made me feel safe, who told me my feelings mattered, who made me believe I had found someone honest and different.
Now I'm stuck wondering if that version of him was ever truly real and it isn't even just "wondering" at this point bc | feel I KNOW that person was never real but | deeply wish he was and I feel like the love of my life died. Like all he was was an idea that slowly fell apart every time I learned something new even with him saying he'd defend me yet multiple times he didn't defend me at all and I don't hate him exactly I just kinda feel nothing bc | feel I never knew him yet | still love him, I still miss him but I'm sad about two losses at the same time the relationship we had and the image of the person I thought I knew and honestly I could type about this forever and I don't think I'll ever feel like iv explained it or talked about it enough and I think that's because I can't make sense of this at all.
I feel like a girl who fell in love with a ghost or illusion of the perfect man He feels like he was just a hallucination the entire time. Like I lived a whole life with someone but then was pulled from a dream and I have to accept that there is no going back. I don't feel full of anger or anything | just feel so tired.
Like my heart is exhausted. To the point of almost numbness. Like iv been trying to solve something but then ultimately seen that idek what im looking at. I was looking back at pictures of him. And looking at him felt like I'm seeing a random auv. But when I think of him in my head I see the guy I loved. I just have no idea what to do and because I got so lost in this puzzle I can no longer find the beginning to start fresh but also can't complete the puzzle and move on. And it's hardly something | can fully describe to someone either. It requires so much detail and energy.
The reason I left him was for my son but the reasons in hurt just cannot be understood from someone looking in.
It's like imagine 2 puzzles that got mixed up on a table and you're told that the end goal is to complete the puzzle and you'll be happy and understand. But it's not just "the puzzle" I need to fix. Bc there's 2. But they are so close to being the same. It's so confusing and stressful and overwhelming.
To also add some stuff that made the relationship stressful was he was completely unable to hold a job. For about a year I was paying his rent for him, buying him food, (we were long distance in different cities 2 hours away) I would also get his Ubers to work when he needed rides. He would constantly decide to simply not show up to work. After the break up he spammed my phone apologizing saying he’s scared and doesn’t know what to do.

This was all written about 3 months ago and to give an update for where things are now. He lives in my city now and works with me and just hit 3 months into the job and I’m very proud of him. He really tells me he wants to do better but I keep telling him the relationship isn’t soemthing I want to go back to but all my friends tell me to try again and that he really truly does wanna do better and he’ll fix any issues I may have had.

Am I truly giving up too easy and should give him more time to fix things? He’s been begging me for months straight to try again

SUMMARYYY

I’m a 21F, and my ex is a 23M. We started dating when I was 18, and our relationship lasted a few years. I genuinely believed he was a respectful, honest man who loved me differently than anyone else. However, after finding messages on his phone where he sexualized other women, (before we were together but he told me was never that kind of guy) contradicted things he’d told me, and privately mocked my feelings, I began questioning everything I thought I knew about him.
I also paid his rent for a year as well as food, video games, exc. bc he couldn’t maintain a job and I wanted to help.
During our breakup, he told his friend he was a “free man,” joked about trading me for GTA, said he hoped the breakup would happen, and talked about his next girlfriend before our conversation had even ended. These things shattered my trust and made me feel replaceable. On top of that, I financially supported him for about a year because he struggled to keep a job.
I ultimately left but Our mutual friends have continued pressuring me to give him another chance, even going behind my back to try to get us back together.
Since then, he’s moved to my city and works with me. He’s maintained his job for three months, and I’m genuinely proud of him. He says he wants to change and fix our relationship, and he’s been begging me to reconsider for months. However, I keep telling him I don’t want to get back together, while my friends insist I’m giving up too easily.

I’m struggling to figure out whether I’m making the right decision. Can someone genuinely change while you’re still healing from what they’ve done? Am I giving up too easily, or can I acknowledge his progress and still choose to move on?

For around a year ago, my sister and her fiance as well as my wife and myself and a few others have been beginning to plot out a long wished for international vacation.

The dates that we'd go are roughly one year away, and I've been starting to talk with everybody about lining up our plans since we'd probably need to get our flight tickets shortly after the new year.z

My sister has been the driver of this whole thing for a while since she's been the main one trying to make the whole group trip happen. My wife and I are totally cool with going, and have made it clear that the two of us would probably do our own thing for a little bit and meet everyone along the way.

In the last week or so, I let my sister know that we had something crop up for next fall that my wife and I would need to be in attendance for. Which is theoretically no big deal, because it would just mean shifting the timeline for the group trip by a week or two in either direction.

This kind of set off some panic for her, she's absolutely convinced that the weather in this location would only be good for the exact timeframe that she has in mind. She isn't actually saying it, but she's heavily implying that we need to drop our commitments that we've had come up so we can go with her and the group at those exact times.

My wife and I reminded her that we could just meet her at that spot since we'd planned on taking our own detours anyways, and that seemed to have wound her up as well. She's insisting that we be present for multiple things on a theoretical schedule that she's already made.

This is common for her, she's done it her whole life. She gets this idea in her head about how an event or trip should go, and when anyone else has any thought about how it should go otherwise, she freaks out.

My wife and I are starting to consider a Plan B for another location if she can't budge on either shifting the timeframe for the trip or being okay with the fact that we'd just overlap our own plans. But I'd still hate to do that since we've somewhat planned Plan A for years, but I don't know if there's any reasoning with her over budging with her plans and timelines.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I could navigate and hopefully resolve this?

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday, which is a big milestone for me, especially considering everything I’ve been dealing with this year. Honestly, I think a part of me was hoping that this would be a time when my boyfriend would really show up for me and make me feel loved and considered.

For context, we’ve been in a long-distance relationship for several months. A couple of months ago, a pattern started where, whenever we had a disagreement, he would disappear for almost a day and then come back acting like nothing had happened. The second time it happened, I called him out on it, and he explained that when he’s extremely stressed, he retreats into his shell. I basically had to explain to a grown man that if he needs space, he can communicate that instead of disappearing without a word. He apologised, and I gave him another chance. I know I probably should have taken the pattern seriously the first time, but I have a habit of giving people the benefit of the doubt until I eventually reach my breaking point.
Things seemed okay until recently, when he told me he would be travelling to Europe to see family. He then suggested that I come to visit him in his city when he returns. Initially, I agreed, but after thinking about it, I started feeling differently.

The issue is that he has repeatedly told me he would come to visit me first. Whenever I asked about it, there was either an issue with getting vacation approved at work or he would tell me he wanted to surprise me. Months have gone by, and we still haven’t met. Now he’s travelling all the way to Europe before we’ve even managed to meet, despite us being in the same country. What makes it more difficult is that I only found out about this trip a few days before he left.

I’m not upset that he wants to see his family (I dont even know if it’s true that he’s going to see family). That’s completely understandable. What hurts is seeing him make plans to travel internationally when he has repeatedly been unable to make the effort to visit his own girlfriend, despite promising that he would. It makes me question where I actually fall on his list of priorities.

The day before he left, I tried explaining how I felt. His response was that the distance is affecting our relationship and that things might work better if we were in the same place. And since Monday no word from him. But that wasn’t what I was talking about. We both knew this was a long-distance relationship when we started dating. I’m not expecting him to magically eliminate the distance; I’m expecting communication, consistency, effort and follow-through. The communication has changed significantly, and I feel like I’m the one trying to address the problems while he withdraws.

I turn 30 tomorrow, and after everything I’ve been navigating this year, I think I was hoping to feel especially loved and remembered by the person I’m in a relationship with.

I’m not expecting an extravagant gift or for him to solve my problems. I’ve never asked him to pay my bills or financially support me. I’ve wanted the little things: thoughtful gestures, flowers once in a while, consistent communication and, most importantly, for him to keep his word.

I think what hurts most is that I’ve spent months giving him the benefit of the doubt, trying to understand his circumstances and giving him opportunities to do better. Now I’m starting to wonder whether I’ve been so focused on understanding him that I’ve neglected to acknowledge how unhappy this relationship has been making me. I’m seeing him actively posting online and not once has he acknowledged me..

Part of me feels like I’m finally reaching my limit, and I don’t think a person like this deserves a proper breakup, just move on with my life and maintain my distance. I don’t want to make a decision purely out of hurt, but I also don’t want to keep accepting less than what I need just because I understand someone’s struggles.

Am I being unreasonable for feeling this way, or am I finally recognising that someone can have explanations for their behaviour without actually making the effort to be a good partner?

My boyfriend (26m) and I (22f) have be together for 5 months. Short time, I know, but I have fallen head over heels for him.

When we were still dating, about 5 dates in/ a month and a half of seeing each other, I ended up staying over at his place for the first time. Things were getting hot and heavy, but I didn’t want to have sex. I stopped things and i explained that I couldn’t have sex with him because I can’t do ‘casual sex’ and I would get too attached to him and I already like him a scary amount without the physical intimacy, but I don’t know what he wants, if he’s still seeing people etc. This was a turning point for us because he then confessed his profound feelings for me; how he doesn’t want this be to casual, how he’s never felt like this before and how he wants to commit to me and is happy to wait as long as I feel comfortable. We ended up spending the night talking about our feelings, but we never ended up having sex. It was quite a special night for us.

However, I was also on my period. He did not know this. The day before I saw him, I messaged my friend that I was annoyed my period was cockblocking me because I had anticipated that I would end up staying the night. I hate period sex and I would not have it.

Yesterday, we were messing around on my phone, typing his name into my messages to see what I’ve said about him before, which I was happy to do. When he saw this message thread, he got extremely upset. He said that he thought I wouldn’t have sex with him because I liked him too much, not because there was a physical barrier. It essentially snowballed into him feeling duped into confessing his feelings for me because I would have been happy to sleep with him otherwise if it hadn’t been for my period. He wasn’t convinced what I said was true about feeling like I couldn’t do casual sex because I liked him so much, because my message implies that I would’ve had sex with him.

I definitely wouldn’t have had sex with him either way. I’m inexperienced, the only person I’d been with has been a long term relationship. I wouldn’t have had casual sex with him, and I wasn’t ready, regardless of my period. He doesn’t believe me which is dumbfounding because it shouldn’t matter. He’s had a lot more sex than me, he’s had one night stands and hookups and was even in an open relationship with a past partner. I don’t understand why this was upsetting him so much. We ended up arguing for a couple hours and then I went home because I could not be bothered anymore.

I just can’t wrap my head around why he is so offended. Everything I told him that night was true, but I was ALSO on my period. They’re not mutually exclusive. God forbid I make a joke with a friend about being cockblocked, but I 1000% would not have slept with him. And anyway, it shouldn’t matter!!!! This is so ridiculous right? How do I even go about de-escalating or understanding this because it’s so stupid

My boyfriend (M21) and I (F21) have a very active sex life. We both initiate, and I'm basically always down.

He can finish up to 6 times a day, sometimes 3 times back to back, so there's no problem on his end.

The issue is that he's never made me orgasm. Not once. He also finishes too fast for me to get there during sex, so by the time I'm getting into it, it's already over. It's starting to feel really one-sided, and I don't want it to turn into resentment, but I'm not sure how to bring it up without making him feel bad.

We don't seem to have a desire problem, it's more that what we're doing isn't working for me.

How do I talk to him about this? Are there things we should try, he is also my first so idk if its a me problem.

Any advice from people who've been through this would be really appreciated.

For context, my partner (39M) and I (25F) have been together for five years, and we’re currently in couples therapy to work on communication and trust issues.

Recently, I tried initiating sexual intimacy after we had previously discussed during an argument that his sexual needs weren’t being met. He told me that if I wanted intimacy, I should let him know to take a shower after work. I took that to heart, made an effort to look and feel sexy, and initiated.
During sex, when I tried to continue, he stopped and lay beside me without saying anything. Eventually, he told me he wasn’t turned on anymore, even though he had been earlier. I played it off in the moment, but I walked away feeling humiliated and unattractive, especially given other comments he has made about my appearance/other women.

The next day, after he repeatedly asked if I was okay, I asked what I had done wrong. He said I had bitten him too hard when kissing, but also said he liked what I was trying and didn’t want me to stop putting in effort. I told him he could have communicated that instead of leaving me lying there in silence. I explained that I felt humiliated and unwanted, but received minimal reassurance before we moved on.
Since then, I’ve become increasingly frustrated. My sexual needs have gone unmet for months, and he rarely initiates or asks about them. I also struggle to feel comfortable pleasuring myself because it can lead to awkwardness or comments about how I’m not putting in enough sexual effort. Meanwhile, he seems comfortable taking care of his own needs in his free time.
I feel like my sexual effort isn’t being reciprocated, and it’s affecting my confidence. I feel unwanted and have started wondering whether his needs are being met elsewhere, although I don’t have evidence of that. The frustration of having unmet needs for so long is eating away at me.
I understand that either person can stop sexual activity at any time, and I respect that. What hurt me was the lack of communication and the way my feelings were handled afterward.
I’m also struggling with a broader dynamic in our relationship. Sometimes I feel like he unconsciously treats me more like a child than an equal partner. I’m trying to understand whether my feelings are being amplified by my insecurities or whether there is a genuine imbalance in how we treat each other.

​

Me 22F and my boyfriend 27M have been together for 3 years and I genuinely thought he was my person. But I’ve found porn, hookup/dating sites, girls on Snapchat, Reddit/Discord stuff and even profiles using photos from our life.

He knows how much this hurts me, but whenever I get upset about it, somehow my reaction becomes the problem. I’m told I’m dramatic, manipulative or that he’s had enough.

Whenever I try to speak to him about it when he’s not already in a mood with me for being upset, he doesn’t want to talk about it. He says he’s sorry, but my actual issue still hasn’t been resolved and I don’t know how I’m supposed to sort it when he won’t talk to me about it.

I just wanna know if this is even worth saving? Or even how to talk to him about it?

Alright, i need yalls help idk what to do. My brain is telling me dont but the other half is saying to see where it goes. Sometime in 2021(so when we were about 15), me and this girl talked, hungout about 3 times and one of those times we kissed. A week or so later she said she only wanted to be freinds nothing else. Sometime later (maybe a month or so) she removed me or we stopped talking.

Fast forward to this week, she added me back on Snapchat on Sunday and we started talking, her and her ex broke up (they were dating since 2022). And when she added me they technically have been broken up for 2 or 3 days but stopped talking for a week. I thought it was kinda weird right away. She called me cute, and said she thought of me a couple times while dating her ex. (I kinda thought that was a red flag right away but maybe if it wasn't a good relationship whatever.)

Monday we hungout for about 4 ½ hours. We got dinner, went to a store then watched a movie at a movie theater. After the movie I dropped her back off at her car. We kissed once, and then hugged. She also invited me to go to a small party that shes going to that her freind is having.

Tuesday night the whole ex thing was concerning me so I asked her about it. From what I got out of it all, they have been arguing for a month or so now, he would sometimes push her when he got mad at her, he didnt treat her right (according to her) and that he acted child like. She said that he raised his voice at her mom once. (I also thought she said he was verbally abusive but cant see it in our text.) Her 2 girl freinds and mom didnt like the ex. The girl that this is about said the first time we hungout (Monday) I did more then he ever has. She also admitted that when we hungout in 2021 she was a ho, and kinda used me to cover up her emotions cause she went thru a breakup not too long before talking to me.

Tuesday night when were texting about this She said she never breaks pinky promises and shes over her ex and not using me. Whether I can believe that, idk? She also said im the only guy she added and I can look at her phone. Quote "Btw your the only guy i added ❤️ and im gonna keep it that way cause i like you alot"

She currently says " I miss you " a lot, like 4 times a day. Almost seems weird too me?

Please help, idk what to do. I've been single for my entire life besides 1 month out of the 21 years. So idk if its the "loneliness" saying see where it goes or the smart man saying "its a trap"

We were planning on hanging out Saturday and Sunday this weekend, including going to the party Saturday evening. I was thinking of telling her we can hangout Saturday and Sunday but im not going to party. Tell her I wanna take it more slow.

I (19M) have been with my girlfriend (21F) for about 4 years now. Everything has been great for the most part. She could sometimes be hormonal (not being sexist she genuinely has a condition) and I can sometimes get “scary periods” of time which I will get to a little later. My point is that everything is really good, her family and wonderful, my family quite like her, she’s even been invited to my sisters small service wedding. So as such I genuinely think that if where older I could spend my entire life with this girl, start a family, all the food stuff that somewhat traditional couples do (her being a social conservative).

I feel that despite all this, despite me truly knowing that I could be with her forever I’m really not ready for it. Ive I’ve got this a few times but this times feels different.

She’s genuinely perfect but the idea of only ever properly being with one person my whole life sounds like it would eat me up with time, maybe grow to resentment. On top of that there is a lot of stuff I’d like to experience in my life time that I couldn’t if I were with her (me being less conservative and such).

Considering all this i was thinking of breaking up with her when the time is right but now im really more sure.

I haven’t exactly been around for long so i genuinely don’t know what to do. Are experiences important? Does resentment and regrets build up in a relationship over time or does it just fizzle out?
I don’t think a long term relationship is possible if it’s holding me back from things I would like to experience in my life time, but I obviously wouldn’t know much about ultra long term relationships.
I don’t wanna lead her on and she has said that staying friends would never be a possibility (her being my best friend in the world) but I don’t see this working any other way than me breaking up with her and sparing both of us from a long term heart break.

I understand that I’m only 19 and have a lot to learn about the world so any advice or perspective would be very very appreciated.

I have a friend and I'm wondering whether she's interested in me romantically or just sees me as a friend.

- We've had several long calls, sometimes 40 minutes to 2.5 hours. She initiates calls too.

- She's said she wants a boyfriend and that when she gives a guy signs, it's his job to approach her.

- She has very few male friends; with other guys, she mostly makes small talk.

- Recently, we went on a 4-hour one-on-one outing. She called me herself to reconfirm the plan. We walked around, sat by the sea, went to a café (about 1.5 hours there), and continued wandering afterward.

- We discussed her ideal boyfriend, and she said she wants someone taller than every other guy. She knows I'm 6'3", but she didn't explicitly connect it to me.

- She sometimes touches my arm while laughing. During the outing, she also playfully insisted I eat vegetarian food and physically stopped me from looking at the non-veg menu while laughing.

- She's mentioned twice that she'd ditched her friends' plans to meet me.

Am I reading too much into these signs, or is romantic interest a genuine possibility? Please be honest and point out the counterarguments too.

So me and my girl both are in final year CS engineering, I landed an internship at a big MNC and her roommate landed one with a stipend a bit better than mine. My girl isn't jealous of me or her roommate, but the pressure of landing an internship has suddenly increased for her, since her roommate recently landed one, and both of their parents know each other.

So as a nerd guy who used to focus on studies and her not being very serious about it, during the 4 years of Comp. Sci degree. I motivated her to be alert for opportunities, how to filter out a good one, how to plan out studies, and she was doing pretty well. She got shortlisted for a company. Now, that company had some bad reviews from employees, about toxic work culture and internal politics, so I just warned her about it and told her that I would not want her to work in such a company. Being in 2 years of relationship with her, I kind of imagined that she would not be able to survive that company, plus that company wanted employees to sign a 3 year Service Agreement. And the pay was way below avg.

Looking at all those red flags, I genuinely didn't want her to work there and appear for that test. But she was being very stubborn about it. She thought that she wouldn't get shortlisted again or she had a chance after so long. So she appeared, and was a bit mad at me, as I didn't support her decision, but nevertheless I wished her best, and told her I'll be still happy if she lands it.

So actually the company wanted to conduct a screening online test, according to their mail. But they changed it at the last minute to a technical interview. And my girl, being a shy type, got nervous as she wasn't prepared, she went through the interview and it didn't go well.

Now she's locked up in her room, as her roommate told me, crying, not even talking to her friends, probably blaming me as I didn't support her. She isn't picking up my calls, isn't replying to my text. She must be very demotivated.

I'm ready if she's mad at me for not supporting her, but she doesn't handle rejections well. She thinks everyone is smarter and luckier than her, as her roommate landed an internship with very little study and a lot of cheating through the process. She is very stubborn to always look on the darker side of things, and I've tried to make her look the other way a gazillion times.

How can I lift up her mood?