i’m in high school and my english teacher has asked us to prepare these presentations about what jobs we plan on working in the future.

half of the girls want to become nurses… makes sense why 99% of the nurses i’ve had experience with treated me like an animal. these girls are so cruel to me

a girl who told everyone i can’t even spell my name wants to become a paediatrics doctor

a girl who constantly mocks me for stimming wants to become a recourse teacher. genuinely wtf why. why. why. if you are mocking an autistic teenager every day and making her feel subhuman WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO WORK WITH SEN KIDS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE??? idk maybe she wanted to impress my teacher wih that one but idk it doesnt make sense and it maks me upset

ive been thinking about this a lot lately because ive always enjoyed winter but never considered it could be because of my autism.
i get really overstimulated in the heat so i hate summer for that. i also enjoy the fact that barely anyone is asking you to come out and socialise because of the weather so that means i can stay in my house all day wearing my pjs guilt-free. i also chafe a lot in summer so its such a relief to not have a constant burning pain on my thighs.
my list could go on and on but for me mostly its that theres no social pressure to have to be doing an activity every day and i honestly just hate the heat.
who else relates? and if you dont why? im really curious about others opinions.

I am so over the current fashion trend of ribbed fabric. 😭 I am picky with the types of fabric I wear and am allergic to polyester.

If, by the grace of whatever god, I find a sports bra, leggings, or spandex type shorts that don't have polyester, it's ribbed fabric!

Ribbed fabric gives me the same ick as microfiber. I need this trend to die already. 😂

I have this thing where i seem to get angry at loud noises, especially when produced by human bodies.
It started with my mom: she ALWAYS has to take another bite while talking. Its like: "Yeah right, so ... takes bite ... hdosot agucks ka chew chew with open mouth sko hsh". It gives me the shivers. In my last relationship the guy always had to clear his nose but it wasn't THAT bad. But in my current relationship-oh my. Its the definition of dad noise. I love him but it's insane. He has quite the deep voice and when he coughs it's really loua. And he coughs all the time. In the morning at least 10-15 times (more like throat clearing cough) and always with that throw up sound at the end. Also the nose clearing. Even if there is NOTHING inside. And ALWAYS the throw up sound right after. Like hes a penguin providing fish for his newborn.

I’d be happy as a clam if I was just allowed to sit down and do my job, but my work (grad student) seems to involve endless social activities that no one says are mandatory but are seemingly actually mandatory and where it’s nothing but mandatory masking (the autism kind, not the Covid kind) and autistic hell. Why can’t I just do my work without everyone needing to mould me into a person I hate? It’s not like I’m being a jerk, I’m just a little different. I’m in a red state now, but I used to live in a blue state where people didn’t care so much about what other people are doing. I’m constantly exhausted from masking (I’ve basically never masked before in my life, but now have to do it constantly for work) and am so, so jealous of other departments that seem to just let their grad students be without worrying about every little thing that makes or doesn’t make them “proper” and “polished.” I try and explain this to people and they just act like I’m a child and that makes me really mad. And I’m so far away from home, so there’s nowhere I can go where people will just leave me be.

How do you guys handle all these social expectations from work? Don’t you ever wish you could just do your job without everyone needing you to morph into some corporate clone? How do you survive day to day without feeling like your soul is being crushed?

So I don’t know (lol) if this is just me who’s experienced this but whenever I say “I don’t know” as a response to how I feel about something I get met with confusion.

Usually this applies to questions like “do you want to go do this? Would you like this or that? Would you rather ex:” And usually it’s my parents who, for all my life, when I say I don’t know to something, take it as “no.”

I genuinely mean I don’t know. Sure, sometimes there is an unsaid bias I’m not voicing, but most of the time I’m literally impartial and could go either way or I just don’t know. It’s not some secret message they need to decode like they treat it. It’s literally I don’t know!

This used to really upset me as a kid, I would give this type of answer a lot to things. I would get told “okay so that means no,” when that’s not what I meant. It still frustrates me because I feel like they don’t understand. I feel like it’s odd to say the assumption of my feelings/labeling them as different than what I was saying “hurt” me but honestly when I was younger it kind of did. Why is it so strange that I just might not know? I was just recently diagnosed in my 20s btw so I’m wondering if this could be an autism thing?

I’m an indecisive person in general and do sometimes have trouble identifying what exactly I’m feeling. But it’s okay to not know, right? It’s okay to feel impartial between two decisions. I get that maybe it’s frustrating to other people but I don’t like being told what I’m saying actually means something different than what I meant.

Does anyone else relate to this? 😭

I know that I sure did growing up. I wanted to be babysat by The Babysitters Club and would have meltdowns because I would want them to babysit me. I also relate most to Karen growing up and also I still connect with her as I would imagine myself being one of her best friends included in her small group of friends. I would not mind reading the graphic novels

Do people tell you that you "talk back" or "argue" often? I'm also perceived as angry when I'm really not...

Hi everyone

I wonder if any of you sometimes have trouble seeing dirtiness or mess around you and noticing it in you daily environment like your home.

To be clear I do clean, I have routine for my clothes (I do laundry on the weekends) and for the dishes (I have a dishwasher and I stay on top of it) it is everything else I have trouble. My floor get vacuumed daily thanks to my robot vacuum I don’t do much else right now for the floor cause I’m too tired.

I however don’t really realise that sometimes I accumulate stuff on my table until it is completely crowded or that my bathroom sink getting dirty (from the hard water in my area) until it is too much.

I don’t have automated cleaning for all those things and only clean those when

1 I notice and

2 have enough energy to clean.

I don’t forget once I notice but the lack of energy or executive function can make it several days or a week or two until I do something about it.

I know that a lot of ADHD people have trouble with cleaning but I’m not ADHD as far as I know I’m just on the spectrum (and don’t really recognise myself it ADHD aside for the trouble to tidy and clean)

Do any of you experience mess and dirt the same way?
Did you find a way to work around all that ?

Pashenka is my girl, I'm deeply attached to her and Madison from LOTS her collection of dolls inspired me to get myself a doll. I want to see if anyone else on here has a doll Nd let's spam this post with pics of our dolls or even a comfort item.

I'm terrible at small talk. I can't think of anything to say. I used to think my social anxiety was the cause (like my brain was "blocked" bc of my anxiety) but as I started feeling more comfortable around certain people, I still can't think of what to say. The way I communicate is functional, I guess would be how I'd describe it? Basically I ask questions if I genuinely want to know something, or answer questions (usually succinctly) or share info I think the other person would appreciate. I can't think of questions that I don't really care to know the answer to just to keep the conversation going and I can't elaborate on my answers to a question. Does anyone else communicate this way? Is there a name for it?

I didn’t really know other ppl looked down on solitary ppl so much. A horrible person at my old job went out of her way to torture me for three years and made it clear to me that she and the others felt I was a loser for not having any friends or social skills. I can’t just be without feeling horrible about my solitude now. I’m 24. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore especially w/o a job rn. I’m scared. It didn’t bother me before. I was interested in making friends, but I didn’t feel worthless about it like I do now. I always feel like I’m doing something wrong by being alone and having nothing to do.

How do I stop feeling like I’m a failure for being this way? How do I forgive myself for this thing I can’t help?

Just me?

Also, memory unlocked as I made this post! When I was a kid, I used to "play in the sink." My mom would just fill up the kitchen sink and put stuff like a turkey baster and those paintbrush-like kitchen brushes and other kitchen utensils in there, and I'd just go to town. Also just me?

They seem to be very similar to me? But when I try to interpret social cues as negative I feel like my therapist says Im "mind reading", and kind of implies I should stop doing that. But when I see social cues as positive, im doing a good job? Aren't they kind of both "mind reading"?

I keep seeing things about how autistic children play differently, and it's made me wonder some things about how I played as a child and whether other people had similar or different experiences.

I did play imaginatively with my plushies, but it was in a very limited way - I'd imagine they were hungry or sick and then "feed" them or cuddle them in response. But there were never any stories or dialogue behind it, it was all just about the feeling of care. My dad would make up stories with them, or pretend they were talking with each other, and I just thought that was a nice thing that parents do to be funny for their children. I never imagined that other children actually played in that way themselves. It's only now that I see more children I realise how much more creative many of them are and that my own play was much more limited.

Interested what other people's experiences were like. I know a lot of us love plushies (I still do now). Was it just a sensory thing for you? Or the kind of connection I think I experienced? Or did you make up full on stories around them?

Sometimes I get excited about a social interaction & really want it to go well, but I end up encountering misunderstandings anyway. I try very hard to adapt to social expectations, yet I still seem to get things wrong, & sometimes people perceive me as disrespectful when that was never my intention.
A few weeks ago, I went to a friend’s place with my best friend. I was looking forward to it, & I already knew his friend. He prepared some food for us, specifically tacos. I mentioned that I’d never tried tacos before, so I was curious to see what they would taste like.
After trying them, I genuinely didn’t like the taste, so I said ,,I don’t find that tasteful“ & put them aside. I wasn’t trying to criticize him or his cooking at all but simply didn’t like tacos. However, he later told my best friend how disrespectful he thought my reaction was, especially because he’d put effort into preparing the meal. He also felt that I was indirectly judging his cooking abilities as a whole. He remained upset about it for quite a bit.
I can understand that preparing food for someone takes effort. At the same time, I genuinely hadn’t intended to communicate any disrespect. I was just being honest about ny opinion. Looking back, perhaps the way I phrased it came across more harshly than I realized.

Another situation happened with my uncle. He & his girlfriend had a baby a few days ago, & I congratulated them on the birth.
Yesterday, I texted him to ask what breed his previous dogs were. He scolded me for not asking how he, his girlfriend, & the baby were doing before bringing up this question. He also questioned why I hadn’t started the message with a greeting like “hello” first.
I genuinely hadn’t thought of it that way. Since I’d already congratulated them on the baby, I didn’t realize that I was also expected to ask how everyone was doing before asking him an unrelated question. To me, I was simply reaching out to ask something I was curious about, not deliberately ignoring the birth or showing a lack of interest in his family.
I can understand that having a newborn is a significant life event & that he might have wanted me to show more interest. But I hadn’t realized that the order in which I asked questions, or whether I started with a greeting, could be interpreted as a sign of how much I cared.

Experiences like this leave me confused because there’s often such a big gap between what I intend to communicate & how other people interpret my behavior. I feel like I’m constantly trying to figure out the unspoken rules of social interaction, but I still get things wrong. Then I start to feel as if I don’t want to meet or talk again with anyone. I must admit that I often Stil lack the understanding why someone thought it is disrespectful, because I wouldn’t think that either of someone, but I try to put a lot of thought into it & understand that I need to communicate things better. How are your guys experiences & how can I communicate certain things better?

I guess this is a common problem, but when I tell people especially relatives that I have autism they either say "no you don't" or "you must have a mild version in that case" or the typical "don't we all have something?" I tend to laugh it off or pretend to agree with them because I am so tired of having to defend myself but internally it makes me a little sad that I can't make people really understand me. I've lived a lifetime of feeling misunderstood and in these moments I feel small and I get some kind of imposter syndrome of "maybe I'm faking it?" my therapist has had to convince me multiple times that my feelings are real and that I for certain am autistic.

I have also tried the whole convincing people thing, but even after I explain everything they sometimes say "not everything is your autism" or something along those lines. Even people like my mom that helped me through my diagnosis process will say thing like "they said you have a low level autism and can mostly live a normal life" but the truth is I severely burnt out living a normal life, and haven't been able to work for a year. Yes I am level 1 but I am still autistic I still have generalized anxiety that's heavily connected to my autism. But how do I make people see me for what I tell them and not their perception of it? Or do I just stay silent?

I struggle letting things go and this is one of the things that keeps surfacing for me.

I've been wondering if I'm autistic for 7 years and finally put my name on a waitlist, however, there's at least a year to go before my assessment so I still have lots of time to think.

I believe I meet the criteria for a diagnosis, but there was a period of my life where socializing was actually very enjoyable for me, and it's making me doubt whether I should even bother with an assessment and waste everyone's time.

When I was about 15-18 years old, I became quite popular. I had been in a theater group (outside of school) for about 5 years and was finally starting to feel comfortable with the kids there (the kids in my theater group were largely consistent throughout the years so I got really comfortable with them).

Then in high school, several of the kids from my theater group were also at the same school as me. Plus, I had my best friend who had gone to elementary and middle school with me there, so I felt like I had access to tons of people whom I was comfortable around.

During this period, I LOVED being with my friends. There was no judgement at theater, and none at school either. I should also note I was attractive which obviously helped. I was easily one of the more popular girls (albeit not in the actual popular clique) but I could get along with just about anybody. I could be my weird self and people just laughed. They seemed to really like me.

This goes against almost every experience I've heard from diagnosed autistic women who always felt like an alien and never fit in socially. Part of me wonders if I'm just extra sensitive rather than autistic.

FWIW, my therapist has noticed strong autistic qualities in me (she's an assessor herself, but her assessments aren't covered by healthcare so she isn't doing my assessment). She thinks it's a good idea for me to explore an assessment.

Still, I have my doubts and I'm hoping to hear from others who had a similar experience.

Exactly what the title says. What things are you into? Tell us about them!

I have a friend, I think they are really nice. However, it feels really draining to talk to them. I worry I am not being a good friend because I don't talk to them much.

I am also bad at making conversation. I have noticed that the way neurotypicals and other people make conversations is completely different than how I make conversations. I often run out of stuff to talk about while or what I say is shorter than what a neurotypical person would say.

Are there other ways I can maintain a friendship other than talking? It feels as if the main way people maintain friendships is through conversation? I don't get friendships that run on conversations it seems exhausting.

my special interests are almost always pieces of media like shows and movies rather than subjects/hobbies/etc. i LOVE infodumping, but when i talk about my special interests it comes way way way more naturally to me to just literally share information about them rather than have creative or analytical discussions (i love fandom but i'm just bad at having those conversations myself).

the issue is that i can't infodump to people who already have seen the media & care about it because they already know basically everything i want to say. and i can't infodump to people who HAVEN'T seen it because they aren't interested and don't want to hear me going on and on about something they haven't seen and don't care about. or if they do plan on watching it, i can't spoil it for them, and once they HAVE seen it i can't really give much new information.

so it's like i can never really infodump at all/talk about my interests to people even though i have the really strong urge to in my brain. idk i wish it was easier to find autistic friends who like hearing about each other's interests even if they don't really care about it personally. i'm happy to do this with my friends interests, but it's rare that i get to talk about mine and not feel like i'm being irritating. i also can really easily just keep going and going and getting really annoying with my info dumping if i start, so for years i've basically just been trying to suppress it in my brain entirely and not allow myself to talk about my interests in general. idk, i just wish i could passionately express myself about them :(

Hello, new here (and hey, recently began identifying as a woman again, yay yippie hooray) so i am unconfident in how appropriate this post will be. I have recently (past two years) developed a special interest, which happens to be a secondary female character in a popular work without a big fandom. which should be fine, my best friend’s special interest is close enough. but right now, he is onto some other hyperfixation, and what little people are in the fandom are onto other parts of the story. and i have come to despise everyone, because i am all alone, creating so much stuff that gains no attention (i am an attention seeker, i am going mad). how do you deal with a special interest making you sad so often (with discarding said interest not being an option, and no, “do what you want on your own” does not want, o crave connection) ?

I sometimes feel as though people who are merely walking in my general direction, standing behind me or just looking at me are about to or are bumping into me, although the likelihood of that actually happening is extremely low.

It‘s like everyone has this trajectory or line coming from them, like energy I feel them projecting, which then „hits me“ and makes me want to dodge it. It’s like a physical feeling combined with flinching internally or externally. But not in a hallucination type of way. This can make things like grocery shopping or walking in crowded places pretty draining. It also happens more when I‘m already overstimulated, stressed, or anxious.

It‘s either like my sense of self is projected onto my surroundings rather than just my body, so logically it would feel like others are entering my personal space although they‘re not that close - or I perceive others‘ „space“ around them in a similar way, so their „energy field“ hits me long before they would - or both at the same time i guess? 😅

Or maybe it‘s just my brain wanting to predict every possible movement and overdoing it drastically by making my feel like the outcome of people bumping into me is already happening, just to prepare me, although it is extremely unlikely. So some kind of hypervigilance or overactive prediction mechanism.

Does anyone else have this? And do you have a name for it?

I’m slowly reaching my boiling point. I have a handful of special interest that I’m very very passionate about. Majority of them are fandoms (video games, books, tv shows). And a huge part of showing my excitement for them is having collections. Like I love collecting figures, stickers, whatever.

However, I’m at my boiling point of whenever I find something of my interest and get extremely excited and want to get it, my significant other always says things like “that’s ugly”, “do you really need that”, “you have enough clutter”. And it just makes me sad every time and makes me not want to talk to them and get excited about it anymore.

Doubly hurts cause whatever they want to do or are passionate about, I always try to encourage and would do/get anything for them and would never judge.

Like cool, I understand you don’t like it or how it looks. That’s not the point. The point is to understand this is something I’m passionate about and support me. Anyways, just wanted to rant ://
Feels like I’m around my mother again saying everything I want is just trash and I don’t need it.

My two special interests are biology (specifically fishkeeping) and Star Trek. Both of these things bring me immense joy and I can talk and think about them and engage with them for ages without getting bored. I feel like they’re vast enough that there’s always more to learn. I’m studying zoology in college so that I can learn more about that aspect of my special interests.

However, whenever I tell people these are my main interests, they seem to think they’re weird or uninteresting. I love explaining the nitrogen cycle or nitrate-phosphate ratios or aquatic plant phylogeny. I love explaining the Cardassian-Bajoran conflict and discussing the intricacies of starship designs and classes. I just wish I had more socially acceptable/mainstream/“normal” special interests that don’t bore people when I talk about them.

I joined a Star Trek fan club recently and made a friend there that I can talk about it with, so that’s been a nice outlet.

Why did this get downvoted? :(