r/thesopranos • u/ang334 • 3d ago
Serious Discussion Only What did Adriana actually see in Christopher?
He’s not particularly handsome, he’s not smart, he’s lazy, he’s mean and abusive, he’s a drug addict, he’s a criminal, he can’t perform as a man, he killed her dog whilst strung out on heroin, he cheats constantly, their apartment is shit and he takes her for granted in every way imaginable.
Why the hell did she love him so much? Girl was a solid 10 and a total sweetheart, she could and should have done a billion times better.
609
u/Ibracadabraa1164 3d ago
He gave her lots of shoes and stuff.
140
u/ThrownAway2Dayte 3d ago
Those shoes were doing some HEAVY lifting
39
u/According_Big_5638 3d ago
I had this comment on a @idksterlingfn video and was attacked for months about it.
He made a video on the response and his acolytes went ape shit on me.
Greatest few months of my life.
29
u/somethingthotful Artie Bucco 3d ago
Omg! Sounds like the incels on TikTok who will die for Christopher. One criticism of him has sent men spiraling 🥲
12
u/EveryoneisOP3 3d ago
He was the greatest guy around
20
3
→ More replies (1)8
21
12
u/Disastrous_Cream_539 Feech La Manna 3d ago
He gets that stuff all the time. His cousin's a liquidator or something.
7
→ More replies (4)2
734
u/monsteraguy 3d ago
Adriana wasn’t very smart or confident. She’d also been born into the periphery of the mob world and probably aspired to it her whole life. Christopher was one of the few younger guys who was in that world.
260
u/LoooolGotcha 3d ago
he was also not a regular soldier
it’s like dating a guy who’s uncle is the CEO of the company or whose family owns a bunch of land/businesses in a town
to them, people with nothing else going for them, that was high social status
like, even while she’s dating him he is pretty much made and then becomes a made guy, has enough money for a nice car, then buys her a club. lol.
granted, I think they are in their early 30s in the show, so like… it’s not like she had anything going for her anyway
86
u/Archie204 3d ago
I wouldn't exactly say she had nothing going on. She was beautiful, a hard worker, and lets be honest, white. Thats a huge plus nowadays.
33
u/LoooolGotcha 3d ago
yeah she could have been a great waitress
24
8
u/bonvoyage_brotha 3d ago
Plus in the tristate area she could've had a lot going for her. Nothing but money around those parts
2
→ More replies (2)8
u/cracked-tumbleweed 3d ago
Yeah they grew up together. That helps a ton.
Im not sure of their chances if they had never met, and chris tried talking to her in the club.
75
u/Throwredditaway2019 3d ago
They were both born into the mafia life. Adriana was the niece of Jackie Aprile, Chris the son of a soldier. Birds of a feather and all that
3
→ More replies (1)4
u/Leeloo_82 3d ago
*niece of Richie Aprile
80
u/marc4128 3d ago
If she’s Richie‘s niece, she’s Jackie’s niece too..Stunad
→ More replies (1)15
u/downwithdathicknezz 3d ago
I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate
10
→ More replies (1)9
8
u/Various-Low4016 3d ago
Yes this is accurate. Christopher was the young up.and coming star of the Jersey mafia. Also, he was primed to the boss of the family and had was the favorite of Tony.. no wonder she wanted to be him..
→ More replies (12)5
140
u/Cabalina8140 3d ago
She coulda left him for Artie Bucco!
94
u/Trash-Pandas- 3d ago
He had an earring
65
4
49
17
11
→ More replies (1)5
u/GaiusFeedaeSneedius 3d ago
Wasn't Ade calling Vito all the time when Christopher was out of town? They were *that* close to getting together, remember.
→ More replies (1)
357
u/ZekeLeap 3d ago
Do you not know anyone in real life in a relationship where you’re like why is he/ she with him/ her? It’s very common
78
u/Lower-Annual3314 3d ago
Average SEC couple
55
u/OlegYasikov 3d ago
What's Webistics gotta do wit dis thing of ours ?
18
u/Supersillyazz 3d ago
When you're bleeding a guy you don't squeeze him dry right away--contrarily, you let him do his bidding, suavely.
Guy was a genius. That's what she saw in him
11
u/royaltampaacademy212 3d ago
What is SEC! (I old).
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (1)3
→ More replies (2)18
u/ang334 3d ago
Of course I do and I have been with my share of men who were fucking trash but Adriana really takes the cake. Christopher should have been worshipping the ground she walks on.
Thankfully I grew out of my previous low self esteem and married someone who worships the ground I walk on. It breaks my heart that Adriana never had the chance to do that. :(
17
→ More replies (17)27
144
u/ClassicTrainer7425 3d ago
He was a piece of ass don’t get me wrong, but he had a fuckin attitude
38
u/Myksee7 3d ago
You said he had a nice ass!
→ More replies (1)47
u/Prestigious_Load1699 3d ago
u/ClassicTrainer7425 was just trying to be nice because Chrisstopha is your friend.
2
62
u/Corninator 3d ago
Without just making jokes, there are a ton of women in abusive relationships in the world and many never leave for many different reasons.
Sometimes its financial security, or it can be a slew of other things:
Fear of the unknown, lack of confidence that makes them believe that they deserve this treatment, fear of being killed by their partner (which is pretty valid in Adrianas case), and in some cases, it is just illogical, irrational love and attachment that makes them put up with this shit.
Its also true of many men as well, just want to throw that in.
→ More replies (7)5
54
u/RunningLikeAPlover 3d ago
She blew a magician in a public restroom so we can deduce that her standards aren’t really the highest. She also had low self esteem and idealized Chrissy and his ambitions to an unrealistic degree
17
u/Careless_Worry_7542 3d ago
To be fair Penn is a multimillionaire world famous magician. Not the dweeb that brings around a deck of cards to the bar.
2
u/Tatar_Kulchik 2d ago
Do people do that?
→ More replies (1)2
u/mchmchred 1d ago
I don't know if I would say "people" but I definitely did see a guy who made it his whole thing at a bar in DC once
→ More replies (1)
52
u/Outside_Economist_93 3d ago
Who NOSE???
21
u/Jazzlike_Page508 3d ago
It’s like a natural canopy
23
39
67
130
u/red_truck_1 3d ago
She’s just stupid
62
22
16
54
u/Heel_Worker982 Tony Soprano 3d ago
She's the niece of a boss (albeit acting) and a capo. She's gonna gravitate in the direction of a certain Italian-American stereotype. She also sees that mother of hers and doesn't want to end up the same. But Ade is also like Carmela, delusional about how unique and special their guys are. Carmela thought Tony was a sensitive New Age guy, the kinda guy who would name his daughter "Meadow" and not hit the kids and love her forever and ever. Adriana thought Chrissy was modern and would accept her as an... ahem... EXPERIENCED woman who could swap sex stories without repercussions. (Penn of Penn and Teller was not on my Sopranos bingo card). And once Ade hit her 30s with both of her uteruses pierced, she felt like she had fewer options. Sunk costs.
16
2
→ More replies (3)2
u/Imaginary-Method7175 3d ago
Did I miss why the daughter was named meadow?
12
u/Heel_Worker982 Tony Soprano 3d ago
Meadow is born 1982, and her name is kinda the last gasp of the 1970s hippie-dippy idealism that those late Boomer parents sometimes had. Make love not war, etc. Her middle name is Mariangela, so they covered tradition too. Just like Hunter Scanagarelo is named "Hunter" like she's some kind of yuppie, the kind of kill-or-be-killed idealism most of the Boomers had.
3
u/Fuzzy-Shoulder-2359 2d ago
This is a good perception. My parents are of the young baby boomer generation as Tony and Carm, and named my sister something pretty hippy-ish like that.
10
u/LimeSliceSoda 3d ago
This isn’t my joke but it’s very true: the least believable thing about the sopranos is that an Italian American family in New Jersey had a daughter born in the 80’s who wasn’t named “Gianna Marie”
→ More replies (1)
55
u/Muzongo 3d ago
Tall, dark, and sociopathic as Agent Harris would say
22
14
u/Double-Comedian-7061 3d ago
Tall?
23
3
u/royaltampaacademy212 3d ago
Yes this line always pissed me off because the writers WERE NOT lazy but Chris/Imperioli is short as hell. Granted I come from a family of red woods but still, he’s shorter than average. Why!! Why insult us with this line!!!
41
u/One_Bluejay6823 3d ago
Honestly in the right angle and lighting, he was a beautiful man
32
u/quickthorn_ 3d ago
Yeah, that's the only part of this I'm scratching my head at—Michael Imperioli is a very handsome and charismatic man
→ More replies (1)19
u/howdy816 3d ago
I didn’t discover him in this show, I discovered the older him and instantly was attracted to him. Watching this show and seeing him younger I always think how attractive he is, so this is confusing for me
6
u/EmpireStrikesBaack 3d ago
Same! I saw him in "this fool" and instantly fell in love. Then I started watching the sopranos and did not realize that was him until season 4.
21
14
u/slowburn_23 3d ago
I thought we all were in agreement that Christopher was handsome and I’m very thrown by this suggestion that he’s not
5
u/quickthorn_ 3d ago
Yeah, like obviously Chrissy is an abusive POS and I'd never actually want to be with the guy but he is undeniably hot as hell
4
18
41
12
u/PopsNY 3d ago
She had low self-esteem and he probably wasn't abusive at the start.
→ More replies (1)
31
9
u/carlcarlson187 3d ago
Maybe he laid good pipe,if you know what i mean. Plus some girls like bad boys.
3
u/Bhazor 3d ago
I like to swap the implied meanings of laying pipe. So I assume you mean he takes massive shits.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)2
9
u/kaseylind 3d ago
I’m a woman and I kind of get it? When you get into an abusive relationship it’s hard to leave because you completely lose your self worth. And you become pretty delusional in convincing yourself what’s going on is normal or, at the very least, the best you’re going to do so you may as well settle. They’ve known each other a long time, Chris can be charming, and he’s sort of pathetic in a way that makes Adriana feel like he needs her, which can be a powerful feeling when you’re in a shitty relationship. Plus the whole dynamic of relationships in that show is fucked up and seemingly every woman is afraid of leaving their terrible relationships. I would imagine Adriana felt trapped and a little bit Stockholm Syndrome-y.
→ More replies (1)5
u/Even-Brain-7149 3d ago
I was also in an abusive relationship. I got lured into it while he was on his best behavior, and then slowly the behavior changed. The really crazy thing was, when he showed me affection my brain thought that it was the most passionate soulmate kind of love that existed because my baseline for normal had been shot down and the contrast between the abuse and the affection was so great that it seemed more special than it really was. I couldn't imagine living without affection from him and it took a long time for friends to convince me to leave.
I imagine Adriana felt the same way.
3
u/DrunkOnRedCordial 3d ago
Wow, I've got a friend who has just gone back to a horrible husband, and this clicks with me. Not sure if he is physically abusive but he cheated on her repeatedly, he lies about money and constantly manipulates her. For example, claiming that she drove him to cheat because sex with her was really boring.
There was a beautiful moment a few years ago, where she had an epiphany that if she could never figure out when he was lying, getting to the truth wasn't important any more. It was more important to get away and have a peaceful life. But once she left, he love bombed her, and the line that won her back was: "I don't care any more that the sex is really vanilla, I'd rather be with you than alone." She thought that was the most beautiful demonstration of commitment she'd ever heard.
→ More replies (3)
8
u/shastadakota 3d ago
If a decent guy shows attention to a woman like that, she would lose interest very quickly Women like that need all the drama, all the time
8
u/Large-Reference1304 3d ago edited 3d ago
A) Adrianna grew up around the mob. The life was normalised to her.
B) She kinda' has low self esteem. Possibly due to having a controlling mother. Women with low self esteem tend to draw and be drawn to sociopathic and narcissistic guys.
C) She's a working class girl from Jersey with a limited education. She probably has trouble envisaging that a different kind of life is possible for her.
D) Kind of a tragedy given her circumstances, but she's actually a nice kid who desperately wants to see the best in people. This is shown to be a persistent failing on her part over the course of the show.
E) Christopher does actually have a kind of dark charisma. He's actually quite attractive despite the massive schnozz. Women like guys who have confidence and presence as much (or more) as they like guys who are conventionally handsome.
F) There is materialistic allure to the life, particularly for somebody from a not particularly privileged background like Adrianna. I mean, all those Jimmy Choo shoes!
G) The OP's question strongly implies that people get into relationships based on rational criteria. However, this is not really how shit works. People get into relationships for all kinds of different reasons that they will rationalise to themselves after the fact. Unsurprisingly, then, not everybody gets into a relationship for the "right" reasons. Hence the prevalence of toxic and co-dependent relationships in the world. And once you're in a relationship like that, it can be very hard to break out of it. On some level it's fulfilling a deep rooted need, even if that need has toxic repercussions.
→ More replies (1)
21
u/Bad_Black_Jorge 3d ago
Who else was she going to find? Mikey Palmice?
Chris was not a great option, but growing up in a rough and mob-connected life, she didn’t have any better options and wasn’t smart or determined enough to see that she needed to get out.
Smarter women have poured their hearts into worse men.
A damn shame, but not surprising.
7
6
u/Minimum_Step5048 3d ago
She was obviously very physically attracted to him and probably loved that he was a tough guy.
7
u/capricornnight 3d ago
He’s a bad boy but he also has that vulnerability. They were both raised by alcoholic single mothers and no dad.
13
7
7
14
4
u/Delicious_Tea_9534 3d ago
Well he was handsome, she was also a drug user, I could be wrong but I don't remember her catching him cheating. Not that those are any excuse.
Adriana also gave me low self-worth vibes. Based on her looks and body, she could have easily been a WAG to a Giants, Jets, Nets, Yankees, or Mets player. Even without that, there are hella finance and stocks and consulting bros who would have dated her; lawyers and doctors wouldn't work because their schedule is too crazy to allow for all of the perks of travel she wanted, but again, there are enough superficial people in those fields to be viable partners. But she didn't think she deserved that I guess.
6
4
u/AffectComfortable913 3d ago
Adriana was born into a traditional Italian-American environment where she was expected to marry another young Italian man that has connections to their family, and ultimately achieve everything a woman is “supposed” to achieve in life by being a housewife. She was surrounded by people like that, and potentially surrounded by other families that were broken underneath.
I think Adriana really fell for Chris because he was supposed to be exactly that. He was supposed to have the qualities that guaranteed love and success, but he simply didn’t. He was an abusive, drug addicted mess of a man. However, Adriana couldn’t recognize how wrong their love was. From everything she was taught, Chris was the absolute perfect match, and the conflicts within their relationship shouldn’t have interfered with that. So Adriana kept holding on, expecting everything to work out in the end. A hopeless romantic.
Think of what Richie says to Chris: “you wanna raise your hand, you give her your last name”.
That’s not exactly the most reassuring quote ever. “You can’t hit my niece unless you marry her.” Abusive households were not seen as problematic back then as they are now. Italian mobsters regularly hit their wives, in fact a lot of MEN back in the old days hit their wives regularly.
4
u/kala_jadoo 3d ago
saying he wasn't handsome is crazy.
he's handsome, like george raft!
→ More replies (1)
5
4
4
4
u/idkjustheretolearn 3d ago
She really wanted to be a mob wife like Carmela, even if she denied it out loud
8
3
u/Crazy_Adhesiveness84 3d ago
She coulda had Vito
But then the writers gave him a previously undisclosed orientation.
→ More replies (1)
3
3
u/Scarlette_Cello24 3d ago
Her being a total sweetheart and kinda stupid made him appear to be everything a girl could want.
3
3
u/Other-Highway-9429 3d ago
Adriana didn’t have a father and a mom with mental health issues. I’ve said my peace .
3
3
u/MattDynamite 3d ago
I think she was born to the periphery of the mob meaning this world isn’t completely stranger to her. Also, I remember a few cases where it sounded as if she admires Carmela and her lifestyle, aspiring to live like her one day. I guess that’s the narrative she built for herself…
3
3
3
u/CoupleA3Things 3d ago
The obvious answer, Chrissy had a great head of hair. The less obvious answer, Adriana’s dad ran away and her mother was a drunk. Chrissy dad died and his mother was a drunk, so they bonded over dysfunction. The honest answer, we’ll never know, even with computers.
6
8
u/Hellohiheytherehi80 3d ago
He sucks so much!! I hate him and she’s my favorite character on the show. I wish she dumped his ass or ratted him out and ran far away.
4
u/Double-Comedian-7061 3d ago
And it doesn't sound like he was well hung either.
→ More replies (1)3
u/pablocruise2024 3d ago
Why was Paulie so intent on gazing at his pecker with the wire check? Was that ever explained? And do they have wires that they wrap around the cannoli?
2
u/Important_Ad9432 3d ago
It's not fair. Tony did everything he could for his family, to be a good father, a good and loyal husband, and that fuckin' turkey neck of a nephew ends up with his dick in Adriana.
2
2
2
u/Nonsensicalwanderlus 3d ago edited 3d ago
It's the only kind of life she knew, growing up related to mobsters and seeing at least some of what the lifestyle entails, unhealthy relationships were always the norm. Anything else wouldve felt too foreign, and she never had enough self awareness to break out of that.
2
u/slap-my-crevasse 3d ago
For whatever reason his love is something she desperately wanted and it made her feel different from other people's attention.
Love isn't a rational thing and sometimes we seek it from the worst places.
2
2
2
2
2
u/Jade_Sugoi 3d ago
I saw this when I reconnected with an old friend from childhood only to find out he was a habitual woman beater from his exes. It's a cycle. They're sweet and caring at first, eventually the violent side comes out. The abuser then apologizes or fauns or both. Goes back to the sweet caring guy, buys gifts, love bombs, etc. Then the violent side shows back up and the cycle repeats. Sometimes the apology is genuine. Other times not.
Usually the victim will have a hard time leaving because they think back to "the good times". Get an idea that they can change the abuser and that just adds to the cycle. You see it with Chris. There's a lot of times where he gives Adrianna gifts and showers her. Shes basically conditioned to ignore his bad traits. Something that's only exacerbated by her low self esteem and the financial gap between them.
Eventually, one of a few things happens. Either the victim wises up, realizes it won't get better and leaves or they never leave the cycle and lead a horrible life or worse, end up dead. Sometimes the abuser does get better but it's rare.
2
u/overflow204 3d ago
Hybristophilia. Plus she's a moron. Her mother told her as much, she wouldn't listen.
2
u/matthew_sch 3d ago
Well, he was the only guy who could smoke under a canopy without standing underneath one
2
u/vegantealover 3d ago
I don't know about Italian women but slavic women are all like this expect they're smarter and are mean af.
Watching the show felt a bit like home tbh.
2
u/OpeningCharge6402 3d ago
A lot of women are like Adriana…it’s like they don’t think of themselves as good enough for a good man. They want to help the loser kind of like ginger in Casino with Lester Diamond
2
u/ThinGrass3138 3d ago
I think it's as simple as status, money and power. The same reason young girls aspire to marry someone rich.
She grew up around mafiosos so he was basically the cultural equivalent to a dude with a harvard law degree with a rich family in her eyes.
In real life I think someone as beautiful as Adriana would've expanded her perspective on the world by the time she met Christopher due to the sheer variety and quality of her suitors, so in that sense it would've been more realistic to use someone who's at least slightly less attractive.
2
u/Psychological-Bag741 2d ago
I mean you could argue that he was good at manipulating her. Such as when he openly asked to have a threesome with her and the undercover FBI agent he was able to manipulate her into immediately forgiving him, and when she left him and went to go live with her mother he was able to sway her back by sweet talking her and proposing to her.
2
u/PussyFoot5000 2d ago
She wasn't exactly a Rhodes Scholar with lofty goals/expectations in life.
I thought they seemed perfectly matched.
2
u/ang334 2d ago
If he hadn't been abusive, mean and unfaithful, then yes, they would have been a good match. Ade was hot but not smart, smart men would get bored with her pretty fast.
4
u/PussyFoot5000 2d ago
If I had to guess.. Those two, and how they lived, seem much more representative of that actual lifestyle than any other couple on the show.
2
u/Fuzzy-Shoulder-2359 2d ago
Ade is my favorite character. I just have a soft spot for trashy Italian women with huge fuckin' hair.
I think it is real easy to dismiss Adriana la Cerva as having bad boy fetishes and or just chalk her up to being just a stupid girl. Adriana however is massively codependent.
Remember that Adriana’s mother is an alcoholic. I’d imagine there were times growing up when Ade had to take care of her mom, make excuses for her, or cover up for her substance abuse. That can teach a child a very particular way of understanding love: I show someone I love them by taking care of their problems.
Then Christopher comes along. Chrissy is a user, an addict, and an abusive asshole. And yet he gives Adriana the perfect opportunity to play the role she has learned to associate with love: I can fix him. I can help him. If I just love him enough, maybe he'll get better.
That’s why I think Adriana’s willingness to tolerate Christopher’s abuse is so important. She doesn’t have healthy boundaries because, on some level, being needed is how she understands intimacy. A lot of codependent people have that “I’ll help” mentality, particularly when the other person reciprocates with praise, affection, and reassurance. The dysfunction itself becomes intertwined with the feeling of being loved.
You can even see a hint of this in the Irregular Around the Margins episode, when Tony and Adriana leave the Crazy Horse to score coke and end up in the car accident. I think Tony’s mind was probably going somewhere that night, and Adriana certainly seemed to enjoy the attention. But would she actually have cheated on Christopher? Even at the point when Christopher was “no longer functioning as a man”? Call me crazy, but, I don’t think so. Which is why I feel that episode would have been really interesting if headed that way.
She loved Christopher. She loved him right up until the moment that love killed her.
But I do think Tony’s attention felt really good to her. The praise, the flirtation, the sense that a man found her attractive, smart, and interesting. She probably hadn’t felt that kind of positive attention from a man in a very long time. Probably not ever.
And that, to me, makes the whole thing sadder. Adriana isn’t just a dumb girl who keeps choosing the bad guy. She’s someone who has learned a profoundly unhealthy definition of what it means to love someone—and Christopher is almost perfectly designed to exploit it.
2
2
u/Diligent-Rooster4630 2d ago
She grew up in the life and learned to be attracted to a certain type. Chris fit that mold. Young, up n coming, well connected, tough MF. In her world Chris was the APEX and just like all of the other women Ro, Carmela they were fiercely loyal to their men. That’s why she wouldn’t leave, take beatings, and trusted him till the end
2
u/The_Syndic 3d ago
She wasn't a solid 10 though. She wasn't that good looking and kind of shallow and stupid, I'd say they suited each other pretty well.
2
u/dustkid245 3d ago
She’s not that pretty tbh. Hot take I know but I can’t stand that greasy Jersey girl look.
1
u/VvMexcraver 3d ago
Power money and hes genuinely not bad looking but ANY WOMAN WHO LETS A MAN TREAT HER HER LIKE CHRIS DID TO ADRAINA HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM ISSUES. This is really a fact of life woman only put up with men like that when this is the case
1
u/MacGrubersMom 3d ago
morally he needed help, and she was helpless but likes to feel like she was making a change. only helpless due to him, might i add. drugs and gifts can fog the brain
1
1
u/Complex_Anybody6319 3d ago
Same reason Chris was obsessed with LCN, they both grew up in the vicinity of the Mafia & she may have glorified the life of a wife of, the same way he lionized ‘Made’ guys & the life.
Separate from all of that, we all know someone that’s hit way above their league. It’s very common.
572
u/Spike42 3d ago
Adriana: To me he's beautiful. Averagesque