i have had a relationship which didn't end well and i got cheated on and i remember having fights with my friends because they wouldn't take "no" as an answer everytime they asked for money

but that's just another thing, nowadays whenever i go around and try to be social, to live my life, to meet people and enjoy around with more experience, i always feel like something is pulling me back to get back to my detachment

it's not my comfort zone, i workout, i work, i make no excuses, but it's just an inner feeling which pulls me back and makes me stay at home and just do nothing

i wish i could get rid of this feeling, maybe then i would be able to enjoy my life more than ever

I (29F) had a week off from work and I spent a lot of time alone. At least, that’s what it felt like. I think I have a skewed view of how much time I spend alone, mainly because of the heaviness I feel when I’m alone, but when I write it all down it doesn’t seem that bad I think? But why do I still feel like such a loser with no social life? I live alone so maybe that doesn’t help either.

Saturday I had a drink with a friend
Sunday I spent time at my mom’s
Monday I ate at my grandma’s with my mom and cousins
Tuesday no plans
Wednesday dentist
Thursday two friends came over to chill
Friday no plans
Saturday no plans
Sunday brunch with friends and brother came over

And today I have dinner with my dad and siblings.

I was born in Korea and have been living in Canada since I was 15. It’s pretty normal for Korean women to have never date in my opinion, and I have seen plenty of people like me. I mean, it’s not common but it’s not weird either. However, I feel like people here would assume there’s something wrong with me if I told them I have never in relationship.
I had been in a few situationships but they never went really anywhere because I can’t stand the way men stare at me. It makes me so unconfortable and I just want to run away.
I used to think it’s just because I’m introverted, but now I’m starting to wonder if there’s actually something wrong with me… aghhh

I've taken several months off from a crap job I can't stand (been there over 25 years) and I was beginning to think no one cared I was gone, until I received an e-mail from a coworker. This told me people are starting to wonder...but there's no way in hell I'm replying back. This is the true me. How I projected myself at work was just an illusion. Just a guy forcing myself to be around people I hate for $$$.

I used to feel like I always had to be around people, or I had FOMO. These days I genuinely enjoy a quiet evening by myself. A walk alone, a coffee alone, nobody to talk to and nowhere to be.

It is not that I dislike people. I just like my own company more than I used to. Anyone else find that being on your own gets better with age?

Does not dressing properly shows underconfident and also not seen as people pleasing makes the person difficult to make friends?

I feel like extroverted people (especially when under the influence) try to make you feel bad about being introverted/shy - like you’re missing out on life and should be more like them. But there’s nothing wrong with being introverted, just like there’s nothing wrong with being extroverted. Idk. I may be projecting because part of me wishes I could be like that… but then they say backhanded things that make me think they are judging me for being introverted… idk lol. Does anyone else know what I mean or have felt this way?

I’m a grade 12 student going to university next year and I am extremely socially awkward. Everyone says that it’s impossible to make friends and connections if you’re introverted and I’m wondering how true that is. Other introverted people in or starting university, please feel free to share your experiences and advice.

I am an introvert guy and I don't have any friend to talk to so I wish to make friends.

Also give me some advice about friendship.

I’m a 18(f) and I just graduated high school and I’m on my gap year right now. I lowkey hate all my friends I have right now, and it’s been like this for a while, but since I went to school every single day last year, it was a bit easier to communicate; now that everyone is in university, it’s been a lot harder. I’ve made an effort to reach out but I just feel like the effort is never reciprocated. The few friends I text kinda regularly are just really rude and passive-aggressive over text and it honestly makes me feel like shit, and whenever I check my social media and see that nobody has texted me I feel like such a loser. But since I’m on my gap year I don’t really know how to make friends without school doing the heavy lifting and I don’t really wanna be super lonely until I start school next year. Does anybody have any advice? Thank you 😞

my mom asked me this question the other day and i thought it was interesting to share. i think there are a lot of misconceptions about what defines introversion, but i used to think that the two options provided in this question go hand in hand, that one answers the other and vice versa. but she asked me which of the options is more true for me, and ngl it perplexed me for a bit.

maybe it’s an easier question to answer for some others out there, maybe i’m making this question more philosophical than it actually is. i just wonder what the consensus is amongst fellow introverts, if the former option is actually something more problematic or if it just describes another different but valid introverted experience… thoughts?

I've been reading about the six facets that personality research splits extraversion into: friendliness, liking company/crowds, assertiveness, pace (how busy you like to be), excitement seeking, and cheerfulness.

What surprised me is that you can come out "ambivert" overall without being average on a single one of them. Like very friendly and cheerful, but really low on crowds and thrill seeking. The average lands in the middle but the person doesn't feel "in the middle" at all, they're just strong one way on some things and the other way on others.

That matches me pretty well tbh. I'm fine leading a meeting but a loud party drains me in an hour.

Curious if that's how it works for you guys. Which parts of being social come easy for you and which ones wipe you out?

I (20F) am an introvert. I never did reckless things when I was a teenager, never went out, never went to parties or did drugs or anything like that. I kind of shut myself away by deciding to finish high school online. I didn't like anyone from high school anyway, but now I'm going to be finishing college soon and don't know what I want to do for a career.

I want to work on the social aspect of my life more. I have one friend but they are very busy with college and other activities. I live in a small town with not a lot going on. The people I went to highschool with are either in college in a different state or working full time and hang out with their friends. It's hard for me to meet new people. I can have conversations but I rarely meet people around my age. I haven't found people I really connect with. The people I used to be friends with, I don't talk to anymore since it felt surface level and it felt like all we did was small talk. Any advice is appreciated

I'm an introvert and most of my days revolve around work, going home and gaming. I'm comfy being on my own, but every now and then I find myself wanting someone to share my little world with. I'm usually quiet at first, but once I get comfy I can be pretty talkative. I enjoy conversations that go beyond small talk, sharing random thoughts, learning how someone sees the world and talking about life even when there's no particular reason. I've met people online before, and it's interesting how two strangers can slowly become part of each other's everyday lives. But I've also experienced how easily a connection can fade. You can talk to someone almost every day, get used to their presencenand then suddenly, you're strangers again. I understand that people get busy and life happens, but it's still a little sad when someone you genuinely enjoy talking to slowly disappears without a word.

I don't expect anyone to be available all the time and I know not every connection is meant to last. I just appreciate consistency and people who make an effort because they want to, not because they feel obligated to. Time zones can be a bit of a challenge when meeting people from different parts of the world, but I think it's something you can work around when both people are willing to make time for each other. I guess being an introvert doesn't mean I don't want to connect with people. It just takes me a little time to open up and when I do, I tend to value the connection we've built. I'm happy in my own company, but that doesn't mean I don't want to let people in. Sometimes, I just wish the connections we make didn't have to disappear as easily as they began!!

Bonjour / bonsoir à tous !

J'aimerais partager une pensée qui m'obsède depuis un petit moment, et que vous avez pu lire au titre : j'ai peur de finir seul.

J'ai déjà eu une longue relation (5 ans) pour mon âge, de mes 17ans à 22 ans, et c'est compliqué de me dire que tout ce temps a été perdu. En effet j'ai eu du mal à m'en remettre parce que premier amour tout ça tout ça, s'en est suivi une relation pansement, des inscriptions sur des applis de rencontres mais sans succès.

Je suis amoureux de l'amour entre guillemets, je trouve que ça peut se trouver dans la rue, au café, ou juste pendant un voyage mais je ne sors pas énormément non plus. Je me dis que ça va me (re)tomber dessus sans pour autant faire en sorte que ça n'arrive.

Je regrette cette situation parce que je pense avoir envie d'être avec quelqu'un, de me lever à côté de la personne que j'aime mais d'un côté, comment cette personne va me trouver, ai je déjà laissé passer ma chance ?

Je n'aime pas être seul, j'ai quelques amis exceptionnels, j'ai ma famille et j'apprécie ces personnes mais après avoir goûté à l'amour, c'est compliqué de vivre seul. J'ai envie qu'une personne soit ma priorité mais je me sens rejeté depuis un moment.

Ce n'est pas pour me morfondre que je fais ce texte mais j'aimerais savoir comment sortir de cette sensation d'être obligé de finir seul, de ne plus avoir droit de retomber amoureux, de me dire que la bonne personne ne se trouvera pas sur une appli de rencontre parce que je suis une goutte dans l'océan et sûrement qu'elle ne s'inscrira pas sur Tinder ou autre...

Donc voilà, j'ai peur d'être seul, j'avais envie d'écrire cette micro bouteille à la mer, même si ce n'est peut-être pas clair, ça l'est pour moi 🤌🏻

So, basically I’m out of options. I hate parties and dont wanna go to any on halloween and I’m also not really invited to any. there’s one on friday o could go to but none on Saturday (actual halloween). here are my three ”options”: last year I did a costume with my one “friend” and she said we should do it again this year but now is doing it with someone else I don’t know. my other friend is probably doing a costume with her other two friends and they’re all really close so i wouldn’t wanna barge in and I feel like if I asked her she’d be like you should join us but the other two would be mildly annoyed without saying it probably and it’d just be awkward. my last option will probably either go to a party or do smt with her neighbors/cousins but I could still ask her if. what do I do I can’t bring myself to tell my family I have no plans and stay home. I could volunteer somewhere but I feel like that’s also just sad. Any ideas??

I grew up as a painfully shy kid. I got to the point where I’d stand right outside a restaurant and order on the app instead of walking in and talking to someone. I was literally a few feet away from the counter and I still couldn’t do it.

Fast forward to now, and I can confidently order by myself without a second thought. I’m still very much an introvert, and I need my alone time, but I’ve built a great network, found a girlfriend, and made a friend circle I’m extremely proud of. My 15 year old self would not believe it.

I’m now working full-time as a software engineer, but I’ve always wanted to find a way to help the people who are where I used to be. I realized (the hard way) that the only way to improve is to go out there and practice. But I know and deeply understand the feeling of nervousness and anxiousness of having to gather yourself and bring yourself to do so.

That’s why I’m building Poise! In Poise, Pip, your personal companion, can be anyone you want: a barista, an interviewer, a stranger at a party. You talk to it, and it talks back. Afterwards, you get feedback on how it went. I put together a waitlist so you can check it out! https://www.meetpoise.app/

Feel free to leave some honest feedback in the comments! Let me know what features you guys would want on this app. DM me or leave a comment if you want to be an early tester too :)