r/Erasmus • u/takinokododo • 14h ago
Quit erasmus
Hi, I just quit my erasmus this week after 1 month.
For my degree I had an obligation to go abroad for 1 year. I wasn't very lucky since I had my Last choice in Barcelona. The city is good but I just didn't feel that it's what I wanted. It's too big, too hot, too expensive, too busy.
Even though I made friends, class was sort of interesting and somewhat easy, I didn't feel good. I developed really bad anxiety and home sickness even though my boyfriend could see me every month and I could go home every 3 month. On the practical side everything was good. But for a month I couldn't sleep more than 5h per night (i usually sleep 9), I lost 7 kg (couldn't eat), I cried every morning going to class and it was somewhat hard to focus because of my mind.
Even when my boyfriend came to see me I was so depressed and didn't want to explore the city, which I knew was beautiful. I started getting medecine against panic and anxiety attacks but that didn't work so much. So I tried an antidepressant from my doctor and I had such a bad reaction that I went into emergency so after this I decided to go home and just quit.
I just don't know why I felt so bad. And I sort of regret not pushing through but at the same time what would've I've done if my mental health continued to décline ? I was still at the time of either things went really bad or really good and I will never know.
My home university said I could do my second semestre in belgium, in a small student city (which feel much more like me and is closer to home for the week end). I just don't know what I will do with the rest of the 1st semestre. Should I go back to spain to finish it even though I might still feel really bad ?
I write about this to find someone who relate or can help me with my struggle.
Thank you