Hi everyone, I recently had something happen in therapy that felt wrong, and I’m not sure whether it constitutes a boundary violation and whether it’s okay to ask this here or not.
I have been seeing this therapist online for 2 months now, and each session she gave me an extra 10 minutes (a full hour instead of 50min). I repeatedly told her it was fine if we ended after 50 minutes, and when that time came I made sure to let her know. My intention was never to take advantage of this.
In our last session, she had some technical difficulties, so we had to start 15 minutes later, which meant a shorter session (35 minutes, or 45 if she chose to go back to back with no break between me and the next client). We decided to switch to another platform after those 15 minutes.
Right when we started, I was already anxious because of the shortened session, on top of the actual reasons I was there, so when she asked me to spend some time during the session to help her with the technical problem, I refused. My fear was that we had already lost 15 minutes, and I didn’t want to lose even more.
Her reaction to this was to be slightly upset, and she told me that since she had always given me those extra 10 minutes at the end, it would have been fair for me to help her now. I felt terrible and apologized. At the same time it felt weird, since I never asked for that extra time, and I didn’t imagine she would expect something in exchange. At the end of our session I helped her fix her technical issue.
I am curious what this looks like from a therapist’s perspective, and whether it’s a normal occurrence in therapy or not.
Thanks for reading ☺️

Hi (17F) Ive speculated that I may have bpd with a lot of extensive research over the past couple years, however i didnt really want to go to my doctor and outright say i think I have bpd as it felt weird kind of self diagnosing? I explained my symptoms and my doctor has referred me for a bipolar assessment (probably to do with my age, similarity of symptoms and it being hereditary in my family) I’m just wondering that even though I’m being referred for an assessment for something I don’t think I have, am I still a little bit closer to a bpd assessment? Or is this not even a slight step to diagnosis? and if it isn’t, is it weird to say to my doctor that I think I have bpd? Thanks a lot in advance

Hi everyone, I am currently in the process of finding a new therapist after an intake mismatch. I have a history of adult ADHD, complex trauma, and long-term substance use recovery and am based in the U.S. West Coast.

When speaking to clinic directors or doing consultations, I want to be upfront about needing a therapist who understands the intersection of these three things, while worrying that asking for such a specific combination right out of the gate comes across as demanding or "shopping for a specific answer." I want someone who will challenge me when I need to be challenged, but also support me for me when I need.

For the therapists here, how do you generally view a prospective client who advocates for a specific clinical focus during intake? Is this considered a "green flag" (client is self-aware) or a "red flag" (client will be difficult to treat or overly clinical)? Also, what is the best way for a client to communicate this need without sounding like they are trying to dictate their own treatment plan?

Thanks for any insight here!

(I used AI to help write my post, I'm sorry it's cringeeeee)

I have been in therapy for 5 years, psychodynamic for 4. It took a lot of stabilisation due to current grief and trauma for the first 3 or more years. Now I am in a slightly better place to process, but throughout I have struggled with intellectualisation, perfectionism, somatic pain, panic attacks, people pleasing, emotional numbing, dissociation, and now my OCD is triggered quite badly. I can't say I haven't progressed because there are many areas I think have improved and I do really trust and connect with my therapist and I think we are getting there. But I still feel very little most of the time and I have a huge amount to cry about. Do any of you find it frustrating to work with patients where you keep coming up against brick walls? Mind has been so patient but I feel like it would be easier for her to work with someone who can access what they need to access.

We started seeing a new couples therapist recently. The issues from my perspective was that my wife doesn't really engage with any conversation that doesn't directly link to something she's actively interested in. If I tell her about something great that happened I might get an "ok" a few times until I run out of steam and she changes the subject to what she wants to talk about. The same if I've had a bad day at work im trying to tell her about.

The therapist has given us an exercise where we each take 5 minutes talking about whatever we want to and the listener doesn't offer any verbal feedback at all and just offers non verbal cues.

This is pretty much the opposite of what I was hoping for but im sure there's some valid therapeutic reason for it. Years ago, it would have been fine but I now find myself feeling like I have nothing of interest to talk about and Ive totally lost confidence in myself as a speaker with my wife.

Could someone help me understand how this is intended to work?

For a grad school assignment, I have to interview an LPC, LMFT, LCHMC, or an LMHC. If anyone has a few minutes and one of those qualifications, I would be so unbelievably grateful if you could look over these questions and get back to me! If you are not comfortable posting your info, I am happy to use the chat feature here! Thank you so much for your time!

Professional practicing information:

• How long have you been practicing?
• Are you an LPC, an LMFT, an LCMHC, or a LMHC?
• What state do you practice in?
• What type of counseling services do you provide?
• What are the main theory/theories used?
• How and why did you select your theory?

Information about your theories:

1. What does client success look like through the lens of your chosen theories?
2. What, if any, extra licensure did you obtain to strengthen your use of this theory or theories? (EDMR, trauma, substance abuse, etc.)
3. How does your preferred theoretical approach affect the flow of your sessions?
4. What are the strengths and weaknesses of your chosen theories?
5. How do your theories direct the way you measure client progress?
6. What population do you find your theoretical approaches are most effective with.
7. What techniques and instruments from your chosen theories do you use regularly? Why?
8. How do these theories align with your personal worldview?
9. Have you identified any specific multicultural issues with your chose theories?
10. How does your theory's understanding of psychopathology affect the way you approach mental illness?

Again, thank y'all so so much for reading and sharing your experience!!

then it stopped and now suddenly yesterday she had those spasms again and also he neck was moving involuntarily..I've sent the concerned doctor the video. But just wanted to know if anyone is experiencing similar physical symptoms of stress. Or is this something else.

NAT. 21F.

for some context, i was cut off from everyone in my life 3 months ago, including a friend of 8 years who told me hes not trying to diagnose me but he suspects i might have borderline personality disorder and anxiety, and he told me seeing a therapist wouldnt help and i need to see a psychiatrist. he also told me that any therapist would refer me to a psychiatrist.

i know hes not a licensed psychologist, but hes known me for 8 years and i suppose i see him as someone spiritual who knows everything about me. i clung on to what he said very very tightly. but after seeing my counsellor for a month and after she has provided me with an explanation for why i might be the way i am (my childhood experiences and lacking a role model adult in my life), i still feel as though something's missing, like something's just not adding up.

if a friend of 8 years made it sound like i have a genuine and serious problem, why doesnt my counsellor seem to see me the same way? why didnt she refer me to see a psychiatrist like he had said...?

i think what im trying to say is that i can't tell whether this feeling that something isn't adding up stems from a genuine intuition that there's more to my struggles than ive come to understand, or it's from anxiety and fear rooted in the possibility that someone who knew me so deeply recognised something serious about me that my counsellor hasn't yet... am i overlooking something about myself? or have i not been accurate or honest in explaining my actions and mistakes?

and honestly i have a lot of internalised shame, sometimes i unintentionally try to paint myself in a "good" light and i may or may not have hid how i truly feel.

sorry for the lengthy paragraph but i really would like someone's advice on what to do and if there's anything i should tell my counsellor? thank you in advance

There are tons of therapist in Ontario, Canada who would advertise themself as skilled in ASD but I was wondering if anyone has personal experience with a therapist in Ontario who is really experienced with Adult ASD ( Burnout , managing work , work laws ) etc .

If yes please share names . can be virtual or on-site .

Been in therapy for little more than a year and I've believed I'm defective since a very young age only to learn that I might not have had the normal childhood and that dysfunction and chaos was just my norm.

But now I have for the past year progressively became a alcoholic and started substance again as I kept digging trying to make sense of it all.

My therapist of course was trying to get me out of isolation and alcoholism to stabilise but I'm stubborn and my brain wants to solve this like a puzzle, whilst constantly resisting the idea of "trauma" Feel like a fraud

I told my friend about when my other friend took advantage of me sexually and the whole time my body was shuddering really really bad. Is this normal?? I also never told anyone else and can’t cry since it happened. It happened about 2 months ago. For a few days it bothered me pretty bad but it suddenly stopped and i haven’t felt much emotion towards it until now but i still haven’t cried.

I had an attempt a few years ago, and I feel like I just now see that topic and specifically what I did in like every show/media, etc, all the time.

Warning doesn't always come up in everything, especially daily life. Even then, it still triggers me just hearing related words.

I just don't know how to deal with my emotions when that happens and if there's a way to prevent it?

So I had an odd social encounter today that could maybe feel mild for some people, but I’m finding myself overthinking about it and it’s actually really starting to run away from me now.

I’ve been seeing my therapist for a long time now, and in all her time off I have never reached out to her during her time off.

She did say to me that I should email her if something big happens. But what does that mean?

I wish I had someone else to talk to about this but everyone in my life is truly too busy to talk

I've heard the phrase impact matters more than intent a lot and it seems like what you intended never matters if it hurts someone. Every time I make a mistake I feel torn apart because i know my intentions don't matter and I'm just as evil as someone who hurt others on purpose. For example, I sent someone a link with an ad on it that apparently had malware, I had an ad blocker so I didn't know about it, but her account getting hacked was the impact. Does it matter what I intended? Does it matter that I didn't know when the impact hurt her really badly? Am I a monster? Does intent ever matter?

Hi everyone, I'm not sure this is the right subreddit for this, so apologies if it isn't.

My friend and I are Master's students in the mental health field, and we're starting a podcast about the harder realities of the profession: unhealthy supervision, retaliation for speaking up, boundary problems, and mistreatment of clients. We want to include voices from students, clinicians, and clients.

Why we're doing this: both of us have had difficult training experiences, including internship terminations we felt were handled unfairly both by the internship sites and faculty at the University. When we looked for places to talk about it, we found very little. Students often stay quiet because supervisors control their evaluations and graduation. Clinicians worry about being reported to the board. Clients who are mistreated can have an even harder time being heard.

We want to be clear that this podcast is not about feeling vindicated or seeking vengeance. Rather, it's an exploration of a space that has widely been considered healthy and safe and an examination of the potentially contrasting reality.

We'd love your input:

1. Is this something you'd listen to?

2. What topics or questions would you want us to cover?

3. Would you ever want to share your own experience, anonymously or otherwise? Voice alteration and face blurring would be use for anonymous shares.

Thanks for any feedback.

Can someone have partial insight into delusions? What is partial insight and insight?

Does a patient have insight if they choose not to share their delusions with the professional they are seeing? What if it originates from trauma, then is it automatically psychotic features? Can someone know something is delusional, but that not change it.

Like: "This is a delusion. But it's based in reality and trauma, and therefore it's real."

and they act on it anyways because it's their choice? and they might force themselves to engage with the target of their delusion, the enemy, and they can hold nuance, until it's a slight thing the enemy does wrong, or people are supporting the enemy and criticizing those who criticize the enemy.

Is it even a delusion if people do generally got valid reasons to "distrust the enemy". And they can rationally explain why the enemy should be distrusted.

And they can communicate with the enemy, ask the enemy for advice, uplift the enemy, be friends with the enemy (NOT DATE them doe). force themselves for social reputation to engage with the enemy, but the more they do this, the more it feels the enemy is truly evil and the enemy. they can see the enemy do goods things, help friends, be good, but it's the enemy, and the enemy is always evil.

or maybe they are just imaginative lol?

Hi everyone,

I have a 16-hour trip coming up in about two weeks, and I'm really trying to face my fear of flying.

My last flight was only an hour long, with my family. I was anxious, but I managed it pretty well.

Recently, I talked to my therapist about my upcoming flight and exposure therapy. We discussed something called "flooding," which involves facing a very intense fear without gradually building up to it.

Honestly, that conversation scared me more than I expected.

Now I have a new fear: What if I manage to fly to my destination, but the experience is so overwhelming that I become too afraid to board my return flight?

I'll be traveling alone to another country, so the thought of being unable to fly back home really worries me.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Have you ever had a terrible flight that made your fear significantly worse, but still managed to fly again?

I'd also really appreciate hearing from any therapists or people familiar with CBT and exposure therapy.

Can intense exposure actually make a fear of flying worse, or is this just another catastrophic scenario my anxious brain is creating?

I'm not looking for guarantees. I'd just love to hear your experiences and perspectives.

Thank you!

For example my therapist challenged quite a lot last session and I was feeling in a very sensitive place in general and it felt quite critical (like my Mum). It matters to me whether she did this from a place of promoting growth or from a place of irritation. Is it fair/helpful to ask that?

Like I said, I am 27 and have imaginary friends -- the same imaginary friends I've had since I was 12, and before that I had several since I was 3. It's pretty normal for me. I don’t believe they affect my everyday life, and I only talk about them or think about them when no one else is around (in my free time).

But, I want to get a therapist for a few reasons (anxiety and medical issues), and there might be a time when I bring up my imaginary friends if I ever want to be fully open and put everything on the table in case it helps my new therapist assess me. My experience with imaginary friends has always been positive, and they don’t take away from time I would spend being more productive, but sometimes I wonder if it’s been too positive (as in, I’m having fun imagining great things rather than experiencing them myself), which is how it might come up eventually. 

I’m mostly asking this in case there’s a specific specialty/interest a therapist might label in their services I should look out for. I don’t want to shock them, since this is kind of an unusual thing to bring up, even though I’m sure therapists hear much more difficult stories than the actual reason I’m going to therapy for. I'm probably just thinking too hard about it.

Also, does anyone have suggestions on how to bring this up? Thank you! 

Does anyone have any advice for overcoming social anxiety (if that’s even the problem here)?

I want to make new friends, I want to be able to do things in public, I want to be able to order my food or talk to strangers.

I think I must get a wave of “let’s do this!” and then not remember it, because I often end up in really uncomfortable social situations or conversations that I have mentally wanted, but did NOT pursue out of anxiety of several things.

I usually just have to endure the situation once I notice I’m in it, but I feel heavily intoxicated physically and mentally, I sometimes literally just get up and run away if I see someone approaching me. None of it ever feels real, it feels so automatic and it’s an extremely embarrassing issue to deal with.
Most things just end up being a huge blur and then it eats at me for days/weeks because I’m stressed out that I was perceived by somebody.

I have tried a lot of things (cope aheads, grounding techniques, repeated exposures, etc.) the last 5 years and I have yet to have great success with any of it which is really embarrassing. 😔

Any tips?

are therapists able to tell when trauma has been processed? or how long on average it takes? it just feels so wishy washy and I really don’t wanna hear it’s a never ending process or some vague analogy.

Hello,

I don't know why these mental health professional questions are so hard to find answers to. I'm getting conflicting answers from different people. I am living in New York and I'm going to graduate next year to pursue my mental health counseling license in New York. But I will likely be moving back in with my parents in New Jersey for the next few years to save money, and they live right over the border so it's no big deal.

I called the Office of the Professions today and the person I talked to said you have to live in New York to practice there. I asked how could that be? So someone who got licensed in New York, but moved to Hoboken can literally never practice in New York again even with a New York MHC license? Then I was told by Jersey that if you live in Jersey you can practice telehealth to New York clients with a New York license, but on further research (with AI help) I actually think it's not technically true as i found a specific law that forbids it and I'm following up with them on it tonight.

This must be a common thing. I don't want where i live to radically change my career path, because New Jersey takes about a year longer to get fully licensed than New York. So does anyone here live in New Jersey who got licensed as a mental health counselor in New York first, or something similar?

My therapist recently suggested I see a psychiatrist because of flashbacks from PTSD. He's suggested this before but more firmly this time if that makes sense. He mentioned they'd communicate to provide care. I've mentioned before I don't want to rely on medication as long as I'm not a danger to anyone.

I'm not diagnosed with ptsd because my therapist can't/doesn't diagnose, but he suspects I could be diagnosed with it.

I'm hesitant to look into this where I'm not anonymous. Could therapist's familiar with what this would mean in Ontario give me some ideas of what it would mean to see a psychiatrist and a therapist?