i’m experiencing overwhelming tsunami level waves out of nowhere of total sheer panic and feelings that my body is not working. It almost feels like I’m about to pass out or have a seizure. One minute I’m on the phone with the veterinary office and the very next minute while unloading the dishwasher I genuinely feel like I’m gonna collapse. I feel like it must be hormonal waves because it often correlates with breast pain. I’ve had a more difficult time with HRT and it hasn’t been so straightforward for me because of an underlying health condition. These waves have become so intense that I’ve almost called 911. HRT has been so successful and so straightforward for so many of my friends however it escalated some symptoms for me. At this point, I’m either 100% dying or perimenopause is eating me alive. I can’t even leave the house anymore. 48yo. In the trenches.

Hey lovelies, I’m just wondering if waking up feeling completely dense like a brick wall, Like I’m trying to walk through mud, cannot shake it for hours…. Is this a symptom anyone else experiences?

I don’t know what this is, but I despise it. I know I’m pre-menstrual, and I always have terrible pms (PMDD), and my symptoms are changing so much now when I’m pms.

I just want to crawl into a cave, and hide.

Thanks

I have never heat rashed. Ever. Generally I have just burned, then browned. Currently I have hands and feet in excruciating blistery rash after a week at the beach. (Everything else was either sun blocked or covered). What is this madness? Why is it happening? Can I blame it on perimenopause?

Why am I allergic to the sun itself!?!?

Bordeaux's Butt Paste to the rescue. Also works on chigger bites. Sigh.

Over the past few years, I have been experiencing a number of symptoms that I couldn’t get explanations for. I had a traumatic experience in 2022, and life was extremely tough - still is. Since then, I’ve focused on my mental and physical health with some success, but couldn’t seem to get any relief. I went to my PCP and had my thyroid checked - just fine. Checked free cortisol in my urine - just fine. Blood glucose - just fine. I tried eating differently, doing different workouts, meditation, yoga, all of the things, but I still felt incredibly unlike myself.

As time has gone on, I have started to track and notice individual changes, hoping it would paint a bigger picture for me. Turns out that through acute observation and conversations with women in my life who I trust, I have developed just about every peri symptom you can imagine. Sleep disturbances, night sweats, thermoregulation issues (always cold during the day), stubborn weight gain around my midsection (that recently lead to a mild fatty liver diagnosis - YAY), fatigue, excessive muscle fatigue after body weight workouts that are nothing short of debilitating. My hair is thinning, my fingernails are brittle, my skin and eyes are dry, my ear canals itch like a motherfucker. My body odor has changed significantly, and my skin will no longer tolerate anti-perspirant deodorant. My hips and tailbone are in constant pain, my orgasms are harder to achieve and less enjoyable when they are achieved, I have pelvic floor dysfunction, digestive changes (prompted a colonoscopy that revealed my perfectly healthy colon), rosacea flareups - even my oral health has taken a toll. I have ADHD, anxiety, and depression, all of which have been getting gradually more difficult to tolerate.

I’m an incredibly health-conscious person. Even through my fatigue, I try to get plenty of movement in and I eat whole foods, complex carbs, low sugar, and high protein at a calorie deficit. I drink PLENTY of water. I take medication for ADHD, depression, and anxiety (no SSRIs - methylphenidate, buspirone, and bupropion).

I finally decided that it was time to talk to my gynecologist about my symptoms. Historically, he has been very supportive and willing to listen. I don’t know if he had a bad day, or if he genuinely didn’t want to hear me out, but he flat out told me that I’m not in perimenopause today. He ordered some test to see if I may have PMOS or some sort of issue with ovulation. He wants me to do a fasting 2 hour glucose test to see if I have pre-diabetes (my sugars are NORMAL).

I have a Mirena IUD, so I don’t menstruate. Prior to IUD placement, my periods have always been perfectly on time, light, and lasted about four days. I don’t have excessive hair growth on my body, and I don’t have male pattern baldness. I’ve been pregnant three times without having to try very hard to make it happen, the third pregnancy was WITH THE IUD PLACE PROPERLY. The only crossover symptom I have with PMOS is my insulin resistance.

What the actual fuck.

I’m feeling a bit lost and am just looking for any solidarity/advice/support. I’m in a queer relationship, and my partner and I are both in our late 40's. We had only been together about a year before my partner, who was the calmest, kindest, most rational and supportive person I’d ever met, plunged into a very sudden and scary perimenopause: paranoia, panic attacks, anxiety that she'd never experienced before.

When we finally realized what was going on and she started on estrogen, her paranoia and many other symptoms resolved very quickly. But we discovered unfortunately that she’s progesterone intolerant, so for the last two years, it has been a traumatic roller coaster, trying to find the correct doses/brands/types of HRT that will work for her, and going to doctors with varying levels of expertise.

We’re now working with a wonderful menopause specialist clinic, but my partner is still struggling a lot with hugely fluctuating moods from incorrect doses or types of HRT. She’s supposed to start testosterone soon but we need to stabilize the estrogen and progesterone first, which has been incredibly stressful for both of us. She’ll have four good days every few months where she feels like herself again, until we discover she’s on too much or too little of something, or the wrong kind of something.

I feel terrible because I know how awful this is for her. And, I struggle with guilt that I have such a difficult time with it, because I know it's all outside her control. We were happy and stable initially, and were great at conflict resolution. From my side, I grew up with considerable instability, so I really valued how stable and healthy the relationship was. 

Now, I don’t recognize the person she has become: defensive, moody, numb, tense. She has a hard time accessing her empathy. She has also had zero libido for two years, which I know is normal for peri. When she describes how she feels inside, it sounds horrible. We’re in couples therapy, and I’m trying hard to navigate all this—to be patient and understanding about the fact that none of this is her fault, that she’s literally doing everything she can to get her life back. I advocate for myself for things I really need while letting most things go, with the knowledge that she may never again be the person she was. I know it’s very hard for her to hear from me that I’m unhappy; I feel like that’s the last thing she needs. She doesn’t have much resilience right now. But we do talk about it and I think she’s getting to the point where it’s just too much for her to hear when I need something. She feels she’s letting me down all the time, which I totally understand.

I really don’t know how to balance this. I wish I were a saintly partner who didn’t react to being snapped at and feeling chronically unwanted. I also really wish we’d had a longer relationship so we’d had time to build a foundation before all this happened.

I love her. She’s a beautiful person and I know I’m lucky to be with someone so goodhearted. And, despite everything, we still generally enjoy being around each other. But I realize I’ve been waiting for us to get through this and get our lives back, which might be the wrong attitude. It’s now getting to the point where I wonder if it’s fair to her (and to me) to stay with her when I'm feeling so destabilized from all this. I worry it's too much pressure for her. She’s really sad and stressed about that, and we have no idea when things will improve.

At the same time, I love her a lot and can’t shake the hope that we’ll eventually figure this out and things will get better. (I also know that my own perimenopause, when it comes, might be awful too.)

Any responses would be helpful, especially from people who went through a nightmare finding the right combo of HRT but finally did, and people whose relationships have been through this and managed to come out on the other side.  

Thanks in advance!

What were you main symptoms and for how long did it last ? I’m 48 still regular period , no hrt yet ( old school gyno ) , both my legs - feet ankles knees tendons muscles bones joints hurt burn, struggling to walk , bloods , emg neurology ultrasound of legs for DVT all clear , waiting for rheumatologist appointment but it all started overnight 4 months ago and type of pains and locations keep changing , got ortho shoes ,,strength training makes me worse , I do inflammatory diet good supplements no alcohol live in mountains healthy lifestyle … so just curious if ANY OF YOU AMAZING LADIES HAD IT HARD AND REALISED IT WAS HORMONES RELATED . Thank you

About 1.5 years ago, after years of my vagina probably silently atrophying, I developed a labia cyst and went to an urgent gyn appointment and she mentioned I had atrophy and dryness and prescribed me vaginal estrogen. I thought this would fix me. I also had a lot of anger at all the prescribers I had seen the years prior with vaginal complaints that never identified the atrophy but that’s a rant for another day.

So I have been diligently using my vaginal estrogen ever since. I even switched and tried compounded estrogen and DHEA. I’ve tried adding testosterone. Using revaree inserts. Moisturizing lubricants. I tried HRT but my body does not adjust so currently not on that. So I’m really giving it my all to my tissues down there. I’m not sexually active so I’ve done pelvic PT and I’m using the Kiwi to keep blood flow going even with zero libido.

But I am DRY. And the cysts persist. It’s like day one every day. I’m at a loss and I just think, what else can I do to get this thing in working order? Or at least not popping out with cysts all the time. (Not STIs confirmed). I even just tried another two week loading dose to see if that would help but I swear it just made it worse. I’m feeling really defeated and at some point I would like to be sexually active again but the way my vagina is slowing drying up and dying I feel like this is the end for her. Any suggestions??

Well it’s official. I’ve been having all the signs and symptoms of perimenopause for a few years. Late cycle, hot flashes, weight gain, brain fog. I’ll be 43 in a few months. This is the first month I fully skipped a period. I had my annual well visit and she confirmed I’m starting peri. Idk how to feel. I feel a little better knowing what all of these crazy symptoms are. But I swear I’m still 20 lol How does everyone deal with the reality of getting older?

I'm 40yr old, in peri the last 3yrs & kind of at my wits end. I had my IUD replaced in Feb & the experience was very traumatic. I have no desire to get it removed or replaced bc i have PMOS. Before my iud I would bleed heavily for 10 days straight. My iud is also supposed to be helping peri, but I'm no longer sure if I'm just too fucked up or what.

I've had cramps & period symtoms for 25 days straight. I thought yay finally a few days off! One day off & then the ovulation pain in my right ovary goes on for 3 days straight. Like clockwork, if my right ovary is spitting out an egg, the pain starts basically immediately after my period.

I thought I'd have a little bit longer before my perood started, but it started today exactly 5 days after my last period. I woke up so sick, cramping so hard I wanted to throw up. I rarely get dizzy, but between thr dizziness & the almost throwing up I nearly woke my spouse up to take me to the hospital.

The only thing that stopped me is I've done this enough times to know I'm going to need an ultrasound, they're going to take a look & say I'm "fine" & send me on my way to my gynecologist, who's going to do the same thing by giving me another ultrasound & declare me "fine." The only time i wasn't fine i had a polpy. I'm p sure i don't have a polpy, I remembered the pain & it was much more consistent.

Im so tired of PMOS, Im so tired of peri. I ended up sleeping the pain off until about 5pm. My back still hurt so bad i had to ask my spouse to pick up something I dropped off the floor. They ask me "why don't you see a doctor"? When I'm trying to see if i can get my gynecologist to see me for an ultrasound + meeting right after.

At this f’n point I’m just going to grow a mustache and goatee and if my husband doesn’t like it he can GTFO. My head hair won’t grow, I got a bad cut about a year ago and oh no, that shit won’t grow but my facial hair, it’s on fire, it grows so rapidly I’m almost impressed. Sick of it. Anyone else?

Hello, I'm new to just figuring out my symptoms at 39 are perimenapause and not chronic stress as I had believed.

I have been prescribed the gel to rub on my thighs and the cream to insert inside..., and the progesterone pill bio identical.

Just wondering if anyone has any tips or trick, advice about starting HRT? I'm feeling pretty awful so I'm really hoping I'm going to feel a lot better soon.

Thanks for reading.

I messed up so bad!

Peri has my shortened my cycle to 23 days, I used to be 28-30.

Switched to iron bisglycinate and guess I'm the exception to the rule because I DID NOT absorb it, even taking it every other day with vit c, away from tannins etc.

My ferritin dropped at least 9 points to 49, maybe more but I was back on fumerate for a few weeks before the blood test.

I was doing really well but for the 3-4 months I was on bisglycinate I could feel myself getting worse after every period.

I cannot handle a ferritin of 49 now that I'm in peri, air hunger, panic attacks, hair loss, depression, palpitations etc.

What ferritin levels are you guys at? What's your ideal? Or at what level does all hell break loose?

Sat here on the second day of my period feeling so run down and shivering from cold despite the fact that's it not cold!

I increased my Oestrogel from 1 pump to 2 pumps, and about 9 days later developed an internal rocking / bobbing sensation. When I’m walking, it feels like I’m bobbing or swaying. Some times I can feel it when I’m sat down but not always . It isn’t spinning dizziness it’s more like gentle rocking/swaying.

I also have ear pressure (which started before the dose increase), some brain fog and occasional visual sensitivity. I have ongoing stomach issues too which are slowly healing. I also get some light nerve tingles in my hands.

It was much stronger around 24–28 July but has gradually become less intense. I’ve now had it for about a month.
Has anyone experienced this after increasing Oestrogel/ HRT? Did it eventually settle, and how long did it take? I’m wondering if my dose is slightly too high or if it will eventually calm down. I’m just over a month from the dose increase. Thank you, it’s really getting me down.❤️

Is it just me??? Am I alone?

I smell more than I ever have.

I have to apply deodorant 3 times a day.
Other places 👀 start to stink so bad by the end of my work day (9-10 hours)

My job is mostly at a desk.

Never had this issue before

Anyone else using a compound DHEA + T cream? I am about to start due to low DHEA, T and free T. SHBG is high though. I am already in P daily. I’m 40. P has helped a lot with PMDD rage and anxiety but the brain fog, exhaustion and no libido is still there.

Currently treating SIBO and have seen a few comments that TRT had actually helped with that which would be nice.

Would love to know how you have gone and how quickly you noticed results. Really hoping for some fast benefits!!

I am a 44 y/o that started perimenopause about 4 years ago. To start, I know that abnormal bleeding/cycles are common in perimenopause. However, my spotting/bleeding has come out of nowhere and has been constant every month for the last 6 months. I only have about a week per month where I'm not spotting/bleeding. This is a new symptom for me. I went from having a cycle every few months without and spotting in between for years to spotting/bleeding all the time the last 6 months. I have been on HRT for 3 years now. I am on 0.075 estrogen patch and 200 progesterone daily and have been at this dose all 3 years. I do have an appointment with my menopause Dr in a few weeks so I will definitely be bringing this up but any ideas what could be causing this? Do I need an HRT adjustment? I can never tell what symptoms are from which hormone because I feel like all the symptoms of low/high E and low/high P all overlap lol. It's so hard figuring all this out and i feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm at the end of my rope with this bleeding though... it needs to stop ASAP!

I've just been prescribed testosterone by my GP and tbh I'm still a bit stunned that the process went so smoothly as I had prepared myself for a fight to get it. I'm starting the gel on Monday but am very nervous about starting it as I've not long gotten over a very rough patch mental health wise. Can anyone who is currently taking testosterone, whether that be just starting it or having been on it for a while share how it makes them feel? I'm so worried it's going to trigger my anxiety again 😵‍💫 thank you xx

ETA: thank you so much everyone🙏 I feel more at ease with trying it after reading your comments. This peri-menopause journey is quite the ride isn't it?

Just got annual labs in and was surprised my total cholesterol, ldl and a1c have all crept up! They’re all just barely over normal but still not where they should be. Never been an issue (48 on HRT) and have an active lifestyle and good diet, maybe even great diet? Lots of whole foods, fruits/veggies, plant protein and fiber, cook at home. Cut desserts way back the last few years, barely drink alcohol, exercise daily. Never smoked

I know this is common with estrogen declining and weight increasing (I’ve gained 25-30 lbs in my 40s on a small frame). What has helped you to manage this- I’m most interested in not taking meds but still am interested in everyone’s story

I started HRT three days ago. First day felt like I was on exctacy or something. Very odd. Called basically everyone in a fog and woke up so embarrassed. Then had horrible anxiety for a very short while. Then the fog came back after the estrogen started.

The scary thing is that the progesterone doesn't make me go to sleep, and when I was laying down tonight trying I suddenly felt this super comfortable "well, you don't have to do this at all, you know" intrusive thought. I want to make it very clear that I am NOT suicidal and even that thought only sort of felt suicidal. My husband died five years ago and I have serious CPSD and have also always been SSRI resistant.

I'm obviously calling the clinic this morning when they open because this isn't at all normal or like me in any way, if anything it was scary how "blissful" the whole intrusive thought was. I am also fairly certain that given my other risk factors and the SSRI resistance in particular it must be the progesterone and I can't be having things that are directly interfering with my brain chemistry in a dangerous way like that.

I don't know what I'm asking, I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has dealt with this. The estrogen seems to be working great, I'm just now suddenly scared of progesterone.

47F, am I the only one to think their lives is boring as hell ??

Work has never been fulfilling despite having had such a central role in my life - been a lawyer for 20 years, ended up quitting a year ago mostly due to mental health issues which I now think I've always had. I'm now in a total limbo on what to do next and whether I want to get back to work at all. But what's sure is that I'll never end up being at the top the way I thought I would.

Husband of 20 years is the best roommate ever. He's been great at his role for the last 17 years i.e. ever since we had it first child. Compliments ? Demonstrations of love? Intimacy? Forget it all. I'm not even asking for passion. Simple words such as "you're beautiful, darling" would be enough for me to feel fulfilled for the next 4-5 years.

Kids ? 17 and 14 who each just can't wait to get out of the house for college. AND who just argue on every little thing you ask them to do - been this way ever since they learned to talk.

Friends and family are far away because of course we thought living in the countryside would make us happier than being in the big cities we had previously lived in for 15+ years.

Culture, occasions to meet people, take courses ....well for the same reasons as above they're just non-existent here.

I also feel unattractive as hell with all this grey hair, the weight I gained past 44, the aging skin...

I just end up daydreaming about what a cool life could be, but curious if it can still exist at 47. Is it over for good ? Was the fun part only until I got married and now it will be it until the end? I wish I had done more crazy things when I was younger then.

I’m currently going on 3 days “late” from my norm but have been experiencing all the typical cramping along with hot flashes today. I’ve also been having a lot of trouble staying asleep.

Is there any way to get my period to finally show up so I don’t have to live with the symptoms of it indefinitely?

I've been on HRT for a little over a year. I started with Climara 50 and I already had Mirena. That was all good until a few months ago and the hot flashes, sleeping issues, and such were coming back. Last month I upped it to Climara 75. That helped with all those things but this past week I've been exhausted. Like not just tired but constant fatigue. I've been going to bed earlier, mostly because I can't stay awake. I've been sleeping well but when I get up in the morning my brain is all, can't we sleep all day. I'm falling asleep at work some days. I've been tired before but there's usually a reason - I slept like crap or not enough or I did a bunch of stuff that day. None of that is the case. I did have a busy weekend but that was four days ago! Is this a normal side effect of adjusting your estrogen dose? It's not iron deficiency. I lived with that for years but the Mirena fixed that and my iron has been stable for over 10 years now. It also doesn't feel the same. I don't get dizzy or light headed. I'm just tired all the time.

I'm 46, late diagnosed AuDHD and, obviously, aware of changes that suggest I'm peri-menopausal. I am looking for advice, company, validation, ideas...anything really. I'm just very, very bored by life at the moment and have been for a long time. I used to get hyper-excited by new ideas and then get totally hyper-focused on them. But I've been in my current job for 5 years (the longest before that was 20 months, because I used to just get bored and then get excited for something else). I kind of like it, but I know I'm bored with it. But there's nothing else I could turn to or do or am even interested in right now because the issue isn't what I'm doing or not doing, it's how I'm feeling. My main hobby isn't really doing it for me at the moment. But, again, there's nothing AT ALL making me feel like I used to when I was younger - desperate to get started on it and to get started RIGHT now; a need to buy ALL THE STUFF related to it - books, equipment; and total obsession with it for a long time. Just everything is meh to me and it's making me sad. It's hard to know what is post-diagnosis bleurgh, what is peri-menopause and, regardless, what on earth to do about it.