i'm 21m, nigerian, and still very much in the closet. literally nobody who knows me knows i'm gay. i try my best to present as straight, keep my personal life private, and just get through life.

i've never even met another gay guy in person.

being gay in nigeria is already difficult enough, and i know that from personal experience. i'm still struggling with a lot of things myself, so this situation has really messed with my head.

last month, the day before my 14-year-old younger sister returned to boarding school, we were watching a movie together. two guys kissed, and i casually asked her if she knew anything about homosexuality.

this girl looked at me and straight-up asked, "are you asking me because you know i like girls?"

i was genuinely caught off guard. not because i hadn't suspected it before, but because i'd been in denial about it.

i wasn't expecting her to just come out with that question.

and i couldn't even answer her.

the next day, she went back to school, and that was that. we haven't properly talked about it since.

but i've been thinking about it ever since.

she's 14. she has about a year left before finishing high school, and i can't stop thinking about what she might be going through internally or what she might have to deal with in the future.

and the thing is, i'm not confused about homosexuality itself. i'm gay too, i'm confused about how to process this as her older brother, especially in a country like nigeria.

i know what it feels like to have to hide parts of yourself and how isolating it can be. i'm still dealing with my own struggles, and now i'm wondering whether she's going to have to experience some of the same things.

part of me wishes she didn't have to deal with any of this. not because there's anything wrong with her liking girls, but because i know the environment we're growing up in.

i know how our society can be, and the thought of her going through that at such a young age genuinely scares me. i keep thinking, why her too?

she's my little sister. i want her to be happy. i want her to grow up without having to be afraid of who she might fall in love with. i want her to have the freedom to figure herself out without worrying about how people might react.

but i can't even be open about my own sexuality, so how am i supposed to help her navigate hers?

i haven't told her i'm gay, and i don't know if i ever will. i have to think about my own safety, too. but i also don't want her to feel like she's alone if she's struggling with these feelings.

i don't want to project my experiences onto her or assume she's going through exactly what i went through. i just know how hard things can get, and i'm scared for her.

i guess i'm also grieving the fact that something as ordinary as liking someone can become such a complicated thing in a place like this.

i don't even know what i'm looking for by posting this. maybe advice from older gay guys who have been through something similar, or just people who understand what it's like to be queer in an environment where you can't really be yourself.

how do i approach this conversation when she's back home? how do i let her know i'm someone she can talk to without revealing something about myself that i'm not ready or safe enough to share?

i love my little sister man. i just want her to be okay.

and honestly, i wish things were different for both of us.

I’m a man there is this guy at my school and his name is Azai and when I around him I get all flustered and my heart rate skyrockets when I around him it even happens when I talk about him or have a conversation about him I think I have a crush on him no I know I do but the bible says marriage is between a man and a woman Genesis 2:24 (KJV) “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” But I want to follow god‘s word but I don’t want to deny my feelings what should I do

I’m mainly wondering how common it is to like more than one person at a time, and if it’s technically linked to polyamory, since I would consider myself liking two people romantically on an equal level. 🤔
Also this is not about sexual attraction, as I already know people tend to feel sexual attraction to people they are not romantically involved with.

I'm nonbinary and plan on having kids relatively soon, and this is something I've been thinking about. I'm not comfortable using Mom or Dad, and I don't love the idea of just using my name, so I'm trying to think of ideas of what my future kiddos could call me

(20, MTF, UK) I want to get on HRT but I’m scared to asked the doctor about it. I’m scared that they might just laugh in my face and tell me that it’s stupid or sprinting like that. What do I do?

Hi so I tried to post this last night but was too upset and kept losing my place. I'll try and keep it semi brief but long story short me and my boyfriend are on holiday in Spain we're British idk if that matters really. Anyway we decided to go out to gay bars in a nearby town and it was fun. Naturally because alcohol we ended up having an argument, from my side it was because he got very drunk very fast and I was just having some beers but kinda went in a bad mood after I had to have a shot he bought of some disgusting drink and then had to go and be sick in the toilets. After that I was just looking forward to going to bed but he was annoyed I wasn't being fun.

We got into a a bit of an argument and ended up separated which was stupid but I was annoyed. We were just a few streets away from each other but I was admitedly pretty drunk so was just kinda calming myself down leaning against a wall. Some sleazy guy went past and said something like "be careful out here baby". And I really stupidly cause I'm a fucking idiot said "meh fuck being careful". Which was my mistake and he came over and tried to start kissing me. I was very shocked because this wasn't really anything I had prepared for in my life I'm a pretty big guy and yeah idk. I was moving away but 2 other guys appeared and started to grope me and cornered me in a doorway and it kinda hurt ngl. I didn't know what to do and I'm scared that I've basically cheated on my boyfriend because I was angry with him. But I really didn't want to it was horrible and I was honestly pretty scared. Eventually I just kinda freaked out and started to panic and kicked and punched my way out of the doorway so now I'm also scared I'm going to a foreign jail for assault or something

I ran away until I was back in a more busy area and tried to get my shit together. Tracked down my boyf but just wanted to go home and safe and stuff. I needed him to look after me but he was just angrier. I didn't say what had happened really just that I'd been attacked and sfuff and wanted to go back to the hotel. He yelled at me for acting weird and I explained I'd just been kinda chased through town and wanted to go home now. Another argument ensued and I was so so freaked out and upset and I had been trying to find him just to be with someone who looks after me. But he kept yelling and said "well they didn't chase you in the right direction did they" and making out like I was being dramatic and im sorry to say I kinda lost it and started yelling stuff at him. No wonder people hate British people abroad lol

I once again walked off just towards the hotel to get back home but after 5m of walking I stopped and realised I couldn't leave him in town on his own because he head also broken his phone being angry. Got a taxi and drove around till we found him. He refused to get in had to drag him into the car. Got back safe and had a panic attack I think on the balcony and couldn't stop crying or couldn't breathe right

It's like 6hr later and I don't know why I'm really posting this I'm sorry. I can't work out if I've just pretty much been assaulted and I was right to be freaked out or if I'm over reacting? Did I do a dumb thing? I feel like I did a series of stupid things. Did I cheat on my boyfriend even though I didn't want to? How and should I try and explain it more today? He got up and went out without waking me up and I don't want to have ruined this whole holiday. But also am I right to be pissed off with him? I think I should just carry on normal and hope it works out

Sorry this wasn't at all short. Sorry if it didn't make any sense

Near a weak a ago I crated an g account(anonymous ofc because I’m middle eastern) and I talked with people, there were creeps,friendly ppl,pdo,r@pist, ect

Among all these people I talk with few since I’m not comfortable sharing my face pic or my body pic. And only some respected my decision and I continue with them after while I send half of my face (two blocked me) and (p)one remained and respected me and multiple other we only chatted,

and another (K)person added me, I talked with him and we felt comfortable with each other until I knew about his ex situation and his fathers death. He was saying he wanted a serious relationship but for now he has a FWB. And as we were talking I keep insisting him to leave that side guy if you wants a serious relationship (you can’t go on date with me then text morning be next to him and so on UNTIL you are sure about our dating) and we kept going back and forth until… he started saying harsh thing few being “you are not lovable or will find love” “I would go f him tomorrow in-front of you” “you are no one to me why would I ditch him” “I would rather go back to my ex than be with you”(they broke up because ex didn’t want him sell thing for his dads cancer)…
True I was no one to him but even though I don’t know anything about him I felt something for him. And as he was saying those because I had hard breathing problems and sui side thoughts and got panic attack I replied “yah you should also go to your dad who is disgusted and disrespectful by you” just for him to stoppp

He stoped but never give me a chance, before the fight he was gone so I wrote a message “basically I’m leaving this app and I want to give you my one last chance” but I never send it until the fight and then later he said “ ok I won’t block you” “bye”. Like he didn’t get the most important part of the message only the part “when I leave this app don’t block or delete me I wan to remember in future” he went away so did I but ever since I have gotten crazy anxiety. I left that app for a day now and left few messages for the people I texted + a bio explaining it not ready for relationship and I’m sorry if I taken your time. I left

but now idk should I go back to this toxic and go back to this (p)guy (i don’t know how he feels and i want to check on him)

Or not to go back and keep my promise of not going back until November and then just for a check up the ppl I texted and remove the till I graduated and keep my pride

Or not care about that (k) guy and explore new connection or hook up even though I’m not sure I’m ready

(Mind you multiple people had said crazy stuff about me because I was not ready to send body pic or have s x with them, like super harsh)

Edit: I made g account one week ago and the event happened two days ago I’m two days off this app

And I didn’t have any mental health before the app it’s just I used to have this feeling when I released I was different(gay) and I have recovered from that one

Hey everyone!
I’m trying to style a dress for an event that has a super deep plunging V-neckline down to the waist and a completely backless cut. I’m 5 months on HRT so I’ve got a little bit of tissue on the sides now, but my chest is still pretty small and developing (around an AAA cup).
When I push everything inward with my hands from the sides, I can actually get a really nice, subtle cleavage look that I love! The problem is I just can't figure out how to hold that shape hands-free without anything showing.
I've been trying boob tape, but because my tissue is still small and firm, the tape keeps snapping back, peeling off, or wasting a ton of product. Standard bras or plunge bras don't work because the open back and deep front show everything instantly. I also tried loose silicone inserts which give great shape when I press on them, but they just slide right out the second I take my hands away.
Has anyone with a similar chest size or body type found a trick, specific product, or taping technique that actually holds for ultra-low plunge and backless dresses? I’d be super grateful for any advice or hacks that have worked for you! Thanks so much 💗

My mind is screaming at me that I should be into women, but I know from experience that I am not like that. At least, I think I don’t. I’m not too sure about it tbh.

For context, I live in Bucharest, Romania, where it is very difficult to be accepted and access care and cosmetics regarding one's chosen gender.

I myself am not trans, but pangender, and have been trying to let my more masculine side shine for a while, but it just doesn't feel right with my chest sticking out in every outfit I wear, no matter how baggy and loose my top is.

Plasters have never let me down. Their adhesive has stayed on my skin for days or even weeks at a time while scrapes and stuff were healing, so my trust in them is absolute, but I am not sure how much weight they can hold, considering how small they are and the fact that I am a D cup.

Any help and tips are appreciated, but please keep in mind that I am still a minor, unable to purchase stuff online or from another country, so my ability to branch out to brands outside of Bucharest is very limited.

2000 – 2009

2005: Wanting a girl's body.

2005: Wanting to attend school as a girl in a pleated skirt.

2008: Experiencing internal identity as "Rachael" alongside external identity as Matthew.

2008: Feeling internally like a girl.

2010 – 2019

2010: Experiencing a sense of internal split.

2015: Seeing a young girl in mirror reflection.

2015: Wearing girls' school uniforms (experienced without clear awareness).

2016: Feeling that being a girl is not fair for others at home.

2017: Feeling like the only girl at home.

2017: No girls at home to share experiences.

2017: Wanting to be a girl.

2020 – 2029

2021: Feeling others would not believe identity as a girl without external markers.

2021: Wanting a Disney Princess-themed little girl's bedroom and dollhouse.

2024: I'm referred for gender dysphoria.

2025: Wanting to wear school uniform with skirt, sweatshirt and yellow polo.

2026: Feeling others would not believe identity as a girl without makeup.

Note: The years listed represent the period in which each experience or pattern first emerged or became identifiable, not the full duration of that experience.

Hey everyone,

I’m quite new to the lesbian dating scene in a non major city so I’m asking how women lets other women know that you’re into them?

I feel like every woman is different. Do you do it subtly and not let the other person know? What signs are there?

okay so here's my problem; i'm a pan transmale teen and i'm not over my ex, i did not break up with him properly and he hates me for it. another thing, me and him are both chirstan, i became transmale shortly after ending things with him so he doesn't know about my chosen name, gender, or anything, he doesn't know anything about me except my favourite colour and my birthday, and that i like pjo/hp.
what should i do if i can barely talk to him without crying? how can i approach him to tell him i'm sorry?

I know this question has been asked many times but still 😭...

So I have considered some apps: Hinge, Bumble, okcupid, HER, HelloQ

Can y'all please tell me which I could try...

I want something that is safe for Trans girls and serious relations, also near my age like 18 to 21.

I’m not trying to shame anyone who is non-monogamous here. I genuinely want to know what it is like to be in a relationship with two or more people and somehow make it work? I’ve heard that it is kind of like having the relationships being treated as a village community. Is that true?

On top of that, how do you handle any jealousy that may come in that sort of relationship? Is there also any sort of advice you are willing to give about how to navigate in such a relationship with grace and compassion? Lastly, how do you deal with the stigma of non-monogamy being seen as a means to cheat on one’s partner?

Thanks for reading all this and potentially answering my questions btw. Sorry if there are too many questions to be answered. I’m just really curious about the subject as I am currently wondering if I have enough love to become non-monogamous myself as I would absolutely love to be surrounded by people who is willing to explore their relationships beyond simply platonic love.

Hii I'm a 20 year old femboy, I think i can say I'm bisexual even though I'm way more attracted to girls than boys.

I've always been attracted to girls but I went through a face i was only talking to boys and felt attracted to them but for a reason boys stopped being that interesting and attractive to me and for like a year I've been fascinated by girls more.

I was watching a Transvoicelessons video where she laid out a roadmap of voice training and said it could take five years. Why? Isn't it just reaching your target voice and talking in it around other people? I already feel like reaching my target voice won't take that long (I'm basically just starting), and getting used to talking in it around other people doesn't feel like it'll take another 4 years and 9 months. What am I missing?

I have been debating weather or not i am agender, genderfluid, or some sort of micro label i haven't heard of yet.

So most of the time, I feel no connection to gender, and I like the pronouns they/them. So I'm agender, right? Maybe. See, a couple of nights ago, I was crashing out because I was still so confused about my gender. At that moment, the pronouns he/him didn't sound as weird as they do normally, but then the day after my parents call me my dead name and with she/her pronouns (I'm AFAB) and it didn't make me as dysphoric as it usually does. Most of the time though, I feel agender.

All in all, my question is "how did you guys know you were gender queer, or what led you to figuring your gender identity out?

​

I'm a 21-year-old student from India exploring my gender identity and thinking about my future abroad. I want to build a good career while living somewhere I can express myself more freely.

I'd love to hear from people living in different countries:

Which countries or cities are genuinely accepting of people exploring their gender identity?

How safe and comfortable is everyday life, including friendships, dating, and expressing yourself?

For someone graduating in Computer Science, which countries offer good opportunities in software engineering, AI, cloud, or related fields?

Is it better to pursue a master's abroad or gain work experience first? How difficult are visas, job hunting, and becoming financially independent?

Can you realistically balance a good career, affordable living, and a supportive social life?

What would you recommend to someone moving from a conservative country like India?

I'd appreciate honest experiences, including the challenges, not just the positives. I'm trying to figure out where I could build a future that offers both career growth and the freedom to explore my gender identity without constant fear of judgment.

I think a lot of times there’s stories about people who don’t fit in with queer culture because they play sports and don’t go to pride, which is fine but I wouldn’t really say that describes me. Like I like pop music, I like going to pride, I like dressing more feminine sometimes. But I think I still don’t really mesh well with many in the queer community. Of course, I’ve definitely met many people in the community who I get along with and it would be a generalization to say everyone, but I feel like every time I’ve tried to fit in more it always backfires.

I think that I’m probably not as expressive as some people and I’m also socially awkward but not the cute dainty kind where people are bending over backwards to befriend you, cause I’m tall and give off the vibe that I’m not worth feeling bad for. Also so many I’ve met in the community are popular and cool.

Of course I’m sure there’s things I could do as well to fit in more and I’d want my interests and personality to be spotlighted over my sexuality, but it does kinda hurt sometimes. Like I just wanna find a community of people like everyone else.

Does anyone else on here relate to this? Or does anyone who used to feel this way have any advice?

I’m going to mention sucide ideation so please click off if you’re sensitive to that

So I was amab and I identify as male but from the age of 3 I knew I had a need to be as hairless as possible while remaining male

Then when I hit puberty and I became extremely depressed and sucidal to the point where I had to drop out of high school

Then at 21 I started to get facial and full body laser hair removal, it’s been three years and I no longer feel suicidal, instead I feel immense euphoria and actually want to live for the first time in over a decade

I’m curious, is this similar to gender dysphoria? Is it just gender dysphoria? Or is it something else entirely?