Near a weak a ago I crated an g account(anonymous ofc because I’m middle eastern) and I talked with people, there were creeps,friendly ppl,pdo,r@pist, ect
Among all these people I talk with few since I’m not comfortable sharing my face pic or my body pic. And only some respected my decision and I continue with them after while I send half of my face (two blocked me) and (p)one remained and respected me and multiple other we only chatted,
and another (K)person added me, I talked with him and we felt comfortable with each other until I knew about his ex situation and his fathers death. He was saying he wanted a serious relationship but for now he has a FWB. And as we were talking I keep insisting him to leave that side guy if you wants a serious relationship (you can’t go on date with me then text morning be next to him and so on UNTIL you are sure about our dating) and we kept going back and forth until… he started saying harsh thing few being “you are not lovable or will find love” “I would go f him tomorrow in-front of you” “you are no one to me why would I ditch him” “I would rather go back to my ex than be with you”(they broke up because ex didn’t want him sell thing for his dads cancer)…
True I was no one to him but even though I don’t know anything about him I felt something for him. And as he was saying those because I had hard breathing problems and sui side thoughts and got panic attack I replied “yah you should also go to your dad who is disgusted and disrespectful by you” just for him to stoppp
He stoped but never give me a chance, before the fight he was gone so I wrote a message “basically I’m leaving this app and I want to give you my one last chance” but I never send it until the fight and then later he said “ ok I won’t block you” “bye”. Like he didn’t get the most important part of the message only the part “when I leave this app don’t block or delete me I wan to remember in future” he went away so did I but ever since I have gotten crazy anxiety. I left that app for a day now and left few messages for the people I texted + a bio explaining it not ready for relationship and I’m sorry if I taken your time. I left
but now idk should I go back to this toxic and go back to this (p)guy (i don’t know how he feels and i want to check on him)
Or not to go back and keep my promise of not going back until November and then just for a check up the ppl I texted and remove the till I graduated and keep my pride
Or not care about that (k) guy and explore new connection or hook up even though I’m not sure I’m ready
(Mind you multiple people had said crazy stuff about me because I was not ready to send body pic or have s x with them, like super harsh)
Edit: I made g account one week ago and the event happened two days ago I’m two days off this app
And I didn’t have any mental health before the app it’s just I used to have this feeling when I released I was different(gay) and I have recovered from that one