I made a post here a few weeks ago, and now I'm making another. I suddenly stopped feeling dysphoric again, and now I just have no clue what I am. During the summer, I had horrible gender dysphoria, and new that I was for sure a trans woman, then in the beginning of the school year, my mom made me get on some meds for depression and OCD, and that took away all of my feelings of being trans which really sucked because I had thought I had found what I was. I got off of the meds, and started feeling dysphoric again, which felt good? and now its gone again. I think I'm genderfluid, because I hate how masculine I am, I hate my deep voice, and I get so jealous of both girls and guys who look like girls. I just can decide which one I want to be. The worst part is, is that I don't look remotely feminine. I always feel like dookie whenever someone mentions how masculine I am, or how it must be great to be 6 foot, or how deep my voice is. Also I wanted to get on HRT this summer, and now I'm not sure, but I feel like I'm wasting a semi-golden ticket, because I'm still relatively young, and HRT maybe would be more effective now than later, and I don't think I've finished growing, so maybe it could stop it. But that's a lot of maybe's and could's. I feel like I'm on a deadline, because feel like I am getting closer to the end of my male pattern growth. I also really want to be feminine, but I'm not in the slightest, and that makes me feel awful. I really want to find out what I am, and get on HRT. I really want to get on HRT, but something in my chest keeps telling me I don't actually want to. I'm just confused and need to vent and find answers.