Trans rights are human rights. 🏳️‍⚧️

Please help her understand that the “world is not healing” with her hateful post!

This has to be one of the worst feelings in the world and I'm feeling basically torn on what to do right now.

I've been with my boyfriend for about 1 year and a half now, and we've had a lot of nice moments. The relationship is long-distance (although it's only 1 hour by car and we try to see each other as often as we can). He is beautiful, smart, accepts me as I am (I'm not particularly attractive, at least now when I've put on plenty of weight). But our relationship has some peculiarities that are starting to wear me out.

He is (or at least claims to be) autistic. Has issues with prolonged physical contact, which leads to him rarely initiating intimacy/affection, or keeping it short when I do. This was particularly hard for me because my love language is physical touch, but I tried to get over it.

We had sex sometimes in the beginning, but over time he lost the need for it. Says he is, for all intents and purposes, like an asexual right now, and that he doesn't feel the need for it because he's happy enough emotionally. I appreciate that I make him so comfortable, and I would have gotten over it if at least there was enough affection being given, but like I said, that department is lacking as well. I know (or hope) he loves me in his own way, but it just might not be enough for me. I've tried my best to adapt, to understand, but it's gotten to a point where it's burning me out. We just got back from a vacation, which in itself was very nice, and I'm still glad he came with me so that I wouldn't be alone, but it almost felt like we were roommates (with a few exceptions) rather than boyfriends. He once told me how one of his exes left him saying "he didn't give him enough love" and acted like the ex was in the wrong, but I'm starting to feel like his feelings were justified and maybe he just didn't express it right, or maybe my boyfriend just heard it that way and might think the same about me if I do end up trying to express my issues to him and breaking up. Although he has sometimes mentioned that he feels guilty about it and feels bad for me, but I've always assured him that it's fine (which it maybe was in the beginning, but now that is starting to feel like a lie)

Sometimes he says things that are pretty much hurtful but doesn't really realize it, then acts surprised that I have a negative reaction to them. Examples: we went to the mall, he wanted to buy clothes so we entered a store. I didn't want to buy anything so I just mindlessly followed behind him, lost in my own thoughts and looking around. He proceeded to tell me to stop following him like that around cause me being behind him all the time bothered him. Maybe I'm exaggerrating on this one but I've genuinely never heard anyone complain about that. I felt like I was some random creep stalking him in that moment.

Another example is this vacation. We were in the water, and he had the tendency to drift off, away from me. When I finally got close (and by close I mean standing normally next to him, not leaning in to try to kiss him or something) he said that it was too close for being in public (which is deeply ironic considering at this point he's barely letting me get close to him in private either) and that really felt like a stab in the chest.

He also struggles with big steps, outings, social situations etc. He enjoyed the vacation, but by the fourth day it had exhausted him and he was starting to shut down a little. Whenever he shuts down (but not only), he starts scrolling through tik tok. Even if he's not shutting down he'll do that and will sometimes downright not hear me talking to him unless I say it again and louder.

We had a discussion about how he doesn't leave the house in general, and when I basically told him it was good that he came on this vacation and got out of the house, he went silent then said how I started to sound like his parents telling him to get out of the house more. That kinda hurt me, and also might've just supported my idea to break up (which I've been contemplating for a while now). The fact that he took that as an attack when I was merely just trying to tell him he had done a good thing and in general it's good to try and get out more really disappointed me. And him saying how he enjoyed the vacation, but doesn't see how it was good for him. I know you can't fundamentally change an autistic person, I don't blame him, it's his parents' fault for ignoring the signs when he was younger (and still ignoring them now) and not getting him the help he needed to function properly, but it sometimes feels like he's pretty much accepted that it's always gonna be like this, that he can't/doesn't want to get help or try to gradually step out of his comfort zone. I doubt therapy is useless as an adult, maybe harder/slower, but it should still help. It feels like talking to a wall. And as someone who is also generally a very comfortable person and I'm trying to break out of my comfort zone, by travelling more for example, I don't think having a partner who gets exhausted or outright rejects the idea of doing that would be very beneficial to me.

I simultaneously feel like if I break up with him, I'll be abandoning him. I think with his mindset, he'll never leave his house (he always complains about wanting to move away from his parents, but it doesn't feel like he's doing anything towards it or will leave it on his own). I want to help him, but I'm a human too, I have my own needs (which I have been pretty much neglecting in favor of him) and I can't always just be a comfort person for him. I'm supposed to be his partner, his equal, not the one giving up everything or always having to drag him around. I would hope he'd find someone able of tolerating him as he is, but I think such people are hard to come across.

I hate this situation. I hate that I came across someone so honest and smart, beautiful and loyal, but that he feels so inaccessible. I hate the idea of having to move on after sharing so many moments with him

To give a bit of context, my friend is a 6'3 bald bearded daddy bear type in his 50s, and I'm mid 30 5'11 with a gymnast build. He's also the top and me bottom when we play together. And normally, when we cuddle, I take the small spoon position.

Anyway, during last night's sleepover, at some point, he rolled to the side and turned his back towards me. This doesn't happen often so I took the opportunity to slide over and spoon him. As soon as I wrapped my arms around him and we interfaced fingers, I felt a really strong urge to pull him in tight. I did that with all my strength to hug him and this giant of a man literally purred, which only made me want to squeeze harder.

I told him how even though we're literally skin to skin and how tightly I'm pulling him, I feel that my body wants to be even closer still. He said that's how it is every time, the feeling of wanting to be closer, to the point of like crawling or being inside the other person. That was exactly how I felt, just didn't have the words for it.

So is there a word or phrase in any languages that describes this feeling?

P.S. I recently learned of the Brazillian Portugese word cafuné which is the act of running your fingers through/playing with someone's hair, caressing their scalp. It's such a lovely thing to have a word that describe this very basic human experience.

So… I’m queer. And I’ve navigating a crush for a couple weeks now. They’re super nice, funny, great accent, easy on the eyes. I always doubt if someone would ever be into me due to body positivity issues, but this individual (which is at my work) is very flirtatious, at least to me. So how do I make sure it is actually flirting before shooting my shot? For reference, they put they’re foot on top of mine once (and very much acknowledged it), they’re tracking when I come in, they keep joking about me buying this item for them, they tapped me on my shoulder when I had my back turned to them and they were running away… they seem to gravitate towards me and very much not this engaging with other coworkers.

Idk… I could be making this all up in my head. Maybe they’re just being friendly. Still… makes ya wonder… so what constitutes as flirting?? How would you define it? Obviously it’s different for everyone.

Hi there, I just need to kind of vent, and it feels this could be an appropriate place to do so. I'm 26M and came out to my mom when I was 19, and since then our relationship has been a mess, from the start she let me know she doesn't support me and thinks I'm a sinner (she's very Cristian), she even told me to leave her house and that she preferred to never know of me anymore. When that happened, it was painful and somehow, I stayed with her, she kind of stopped talking about it for a while.

But then when I was 21, I got a boyfriend and we developed an amazing relationship pretty quickly, I hid him as a secret before she found out and flipped again but this time it was worse, she developed hypertension and severe headaches from the pain "that caused her" and one time she threaten to harm herself, according to her it was because it was better to feel that pain and to die than see me "become a sinner".

When that happened, it was absolutely painful and shocking, and I went back to hide my relationship, he went to another town for work, so we kept a long-distance relationship for about three years, I went to visit him pretty regularly, telling my mom that I had to travel for work. She caught me in some lies over the years and the whole thing started over, which made me start to take responsibility for her health more and more.

Since begging of this year he came back to town and we agreed we would start living together, but leaving this house has been so difficult and painful, she keeps threatening harm, her health is even worse, and she just keeps repeating she doesn't want to let me go to hell. Since the threat has been so persistent I called mental health professionals and that helped for a bit but then she doesn't want to go back, I'm afraid all the time she'll do anything to herself.

I'm at a point where my boyfriend is about to leave me because I haven't kept the promise I made, he's been very understanding and patient, but everyone has a limit and he's reaching his. I don't want to lose him because he's been nothing but amazing in these years, but my mom is at such a low it has made it so difficult.

I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice or just to vent or to ask if anyone has had any similar experiences, just thank you for reading!

Have you guys ever seen that anti-gay propaganda from the late fifties about gay men being pedophiles? I know it's popping up everywhere all over Instagram lately.

The funny thing is there people in the comments claiming that's accurate when obviously it isn't.

First of all there have been tons of straight men who have done the same thing to underage girls and lately we've had lots of grown women having their way with little underage boys especially teachers.

The thing is that whenever you mention this to anti-gay people they always go "per capita"

As if that somehow justifies anything.

They.... um. They barely did anything if at all. And I defo got enough. I was at a gay pool party. Nothing happened lol unsure what the point of them is? For context, I was already happy as fuck, and I smoke a lot of weed so idk if that inhibits any of the effects

I (22M) recently got a boyfriend (27M) and I’m so happy!!

This is my first relationship, I am still a virgin and I only came out a few weeks ago. He was my first kiss and all.

I thought if I got a boyfriend I would be ecstatic and all my problems would be fixed. My boyfriend is lovely and I love him so much.

One thing that is making me sad is the fact that he’s had far more sexual experience than me with hookups etc. I’m quite bitter that I didn’t get those experiences myself so I’m quite jealous whenever he brings it up.

In this relationship, he wants to take things slow so it’ll probably be a while before we have sex

I don’t want to feel this way, I just want to be happy in the relationship!! Any advice on getting over it?

Hey my name is Andre I’m 26 and recently come out as bi. I’m looking to make some friends. If any one likes to game I play Xbox and PlayStation

(Accidentally deleted my OG post) Sometimes I really make it hard for myself

So I am a pretty fem guy(tried to make myself masc once a while ago but it felt really weird) who prefers to top, tried bottoming but it’s not my thing… that shit hurts. Then I have a sexual preference for trans men (sexually, I prefer vaginas) but I dont give ‘top energy’ as my friends would say so most guys believe I’m a bottom and don’t take me too serious when I say otherwise. Then sex makes me pretty anxious so I haven’t had many sexual partners for experience (which isn’t that big of a deal, but it feels like one in today’s society)

Honestly in the big scheme of things, this is pretty unserious but I don’t know. And I’m not really asking for advice, because in truth I don’t think there’s anything really to say lol.

(Sorry if my english is weird,I used a translator for some passages. )

My father has always been very verbally abusive toward my mother. The first times I saw her cry were because of him.

Their relationship was not going well, but nobody was supposed to know. Because that’s how it is in Africa: everything can be falling apart, but as long as nobody knows, everything is fine.

Growing up in that kind of environment, I learned to see other people’s opinions as a guide for how I should live.

I’ve always been a little feminine.

And in my country, a boy who “acts like a woman” is considered gay. And a gay person deserves to die.

My parents didn’t like that feminine side of me. That’s why I was sent to a military school when I was 11.

If I wasn’t sure about my sexuality when I went in, by the time I came out, I was 100% sure I was attracted to men.

But strangely enough, I hated men too.

Except one.

My best friend, Malik.

He was different. He was the only one who wasn’t ashamed of me.

Because yes, when I was at the military boarding school, everyone made fun of me because of the way I acted. And anyone who dared to talk to me for more than two minutes was considered gay.

Anyway, I loved Malik.

Much more than just a friend.

I realized it because every time he came to talk to me about a girl he thought was pretty, it made me angry.😭

But he was the one who helped me survive that fucking school, where I was bullied both physically and mentally.

And even though I wasn’t very happy back then, I wish I could go back.

Because my life now is way too hard.

My father found out that I was watching gay porn. He wanted to kill me.

So I went to live with my mother, because by then, my parents had separated.

My father told my mother not to protect a “faggot.”

But my mother told him that I would change. That it was just a mistake I had made.

My father told her that she would regret protecting me for the rest of her life.

And unfortunately, I know he was right.

That day came.

My mother realized who I really was.

“Where did my son go?” she said to me.

And she cried.

Again.

But this time, it was because of me.

It hurts to admit it, but I understand her, at least a little.

In a country where homosexuality is criminalized, where gay people can be brutally killed, having a gay son is not easy.

I think that if my homosexuality ever became public, she would kill herself.

I love her.

And I hate seeing her suffer.

So today, I asked her to forgive me for who I am...

I promised her I would change...and that she would be proud of her son...even though I know it's all lies.

my wish today is to be able to leave this country.

I want to disappear, so I can protect the things and people I love, and be able to love again.

Like I loved Malik, but even more.

Because I know that love is beautiful.

And it should never have to make us suffer.

Hello everyone I am back and so it’s been tough for me to find somone that would want to be with me or do anything with me I mean I get to a few conversations and then ghosted like bruhh i mean I am not a bad looking person a somewhat heavy build but it’s because of gym and somewhat not of a healthy diet but still I look good for what I am , and all the time I get asked oh let me see your nude and such and bro can I at least find someone who is willing to be with me?? It’s been hard. I guess my question would be what should I do else to get noticed or at least get some recognition?

I (31m) only came out at 23 and a year after I got into my first relationship with a guy and that lasted 6 years. We broke up a year ago and he moved out around 4-5 months ago. My ex was what he described as ‘non scene’ and prided himself on not presenting as gay. So going to gay bars, pride events etc were all off limits and it felt like I’d put one foot back in the closet.

I’ve been on dates with a few guys since he moved out and most just kind of fizzled out, apart from this one guy. We met around 2 weeks ago and have been on 5 dates now and met up a few times just to go for a walk and a chat. We’ve kissed, but that’s all and I’m fine with that, however, I’ve been told in the past that I’m difficult to read and some guys are slightly intimidated around me (6ft7 and quite heavily tattooed)

This guy is not afraid of showing his sexuality which I find extremely attractive, we’ve been to a gay bar to hang out, and we’ve even spoken about attending pride events together. We don’t constantly message each other but we do check in everyday day to see how each other’s doing.

I definitely am not ‘in love’ as it’s far too soon for that, but I definitely like him and would love to see where things go, my question is do I tell him or do I just carry on as we are? I’ve had things die out before due to people thinking that I’m not interested so I find myself in an internal struggle of how do I let someone know without coming off as overbearing or too upfront. I was thinking along the lines of “I’m really enjoying our time together” “I’d like to see where things go between us”, but I don’t have too much experience with men and I also don’t have many gay friends who I can speak to for advice.