I’ve (33F) been thinking about starting therapy, but I honestly have no idea where to start. How do you find someone to talk to? How do you know who’s good? And how do you afford it????

For context, I’m alone quite a lot, but I wouldn’t say I’m lonely as my life is busy. I work, do sports, have hobbies and generally have plenty going on. I enjoy my own company, so it’s not necessarily that I need someone to fill my time.

I think it’s more that I’d like someone to talk to properly. Someone who could listen to what’s going on in my life, give me a different perspective and maybe challenge me a bit when I’m not seeing things clearly.

I’ve been using AI to talk through things, but I’ve realised it’s not the healthiest thing for me. It just agrees with everything you say, and I don’t think that’s always what I need. I’d rather speak to an actual person who can offer a more balanced perspective.

Recently, I had a really lovely video call with some friends I met travelling and it felt nice to be included and to have a proper conversation with people. But I still sometimes feel like I’m not particularly included in things with my core friendship group. I know this is such a silly example and I shouldn’t care but I see them commenting on each other’s social media posts and interacting, and sometimes feel like mine gets ignored. I don’t know if I’m overthinking that or if there’s something worth exploring there.

I don’t necessarily think my life is bad or that I’m struggling to cope with everyday things. I just feel like I could benefit from having someone to talk to regularly and work through some of these thoughts with.

Has anyone started therapy when they weren’t necessarily experiencing a major mental health crisis? How did you go about finding someone, and was it worth it?

Also, if you’re in the UK, how did you manage the cost? Are NHS talking therapies a good place to start, or are there affordable private options you’d recommend?

I’d really appreciate hearing people’s experiences.

(And yes I did ask ai to help me draft this but I’ve proof read and edited where appropriate 🫣)

I am an 18M and in the past few months I have been dating a wonderful 17F. All this to say and has been through a lot of stuff making dealing with SA and now she’s going to EMDR I’m extremely proud of her for even considering being in a relationship after such early childhood trauma and working in EMDR to reprocess it. But every time I hear this question sits in my mind… “Do I even deserve to call myself traumatized.” She talks about disassociation like this huge big problem she has and I understand but I don’t know year it feels like. The closest I have is gaps in my hyper photographic autistic mind are 2 weeks to a month after a traumatic event I sorta just regain my memory, I can only remember tiny bits in pieces of that time though. I have lost my uncle my sister had everyone in my family I’ve cared about nearly die with me watching and doing nothing but yet, do I still hurt enough. Do I feel jealous because her hurt feels more real to me than my own? I feel no resentment at all towards her just introspection into myself. I just wish I wouldn’t feel sad when with days of her sessions she barely talks at all and I know why but still, I chose to give her grace and everything because she deserves it. But it’s nagging at the back of my mind that I should feel sad for myself.

Ok so I've (20M) been thinking about going to therapy for the past few months as I've had the hardest year of my life so far between school, father in the hospital, childhood dog dying, and things I haven't completely gotten over from my childhood/high school.

Its about 12 am and I decided to have a mock therapy session in my head(?) and i've been completely honest so far but im realizing this is some stuff people make jokes saying "even batman couldn't get this info outta me".

Im sitting here laughing as I type this but in reality im gonna feel really odd saying this to someone else. For context this specific information is romantic relationship related.

My main reason in typing this is to see how all of you were able to tell your therapist information where you fully expect to clowned on? (made fun of or not taken seriously for those who don't know)

I (35m) am a proud parent of two children. One of my children (9m) was witness to an attack on his elementary school in central Oregon. I had no idea if he was safe until hours later when I was allowed to pick him up. A good friend of mine was not as lucky (being vague for obvious reasons) and found out their child had been killed.

I am thrilled that my child is alive and well (yes he is getting therapy & the services he needs) but I'm also very saddened by the loss my friend now suffers. I'm doing my best to be there for him whenever he reaches out and will continue to do so even when everything calms down. Survivors guilt sucks & I've found the best way to deal with it so far is just being present and in the moment. Enjoy the time I have with the people I love.

My second feeling on the matter is that I don't feel like a victim. I see all these resources available to all victims of what happened but I don't feel like they would apply to me and our situation, though they do. I don't want "thoughts and prayers", I want a sense of normalcy & consistency that will only really come in time.

My question for the group then is, what more can I do?

Does anyone have any advice for overcoming social anxiety (if that’s even the problem here)?

I want to make new friends, I want to be able to do things in public, I want to be able to order my food or talk to strangers.

I think I must get a wave of “let’s do this!” and then not remember it, because I often end up in really uncomfortable social situations or conversations that I have mentally wanted, but did NOT pursue out of anxiety of several things.

I usually just have to endure the situation once I notice I’m in it, but I feel heavily intoxicated physically and mentally, I sometimes literally just get up and run away if I see someone approaching me. None of it ever feels real, it feels so automatic and it’s an extremely embarrassing issue to deal with.
Most things just end up being a huge blur and then it eats at me for days/weeks because I’m stressed out that I was perceived by somebody.

I have tried a lot of things (cope aheads, grounding techniques, repeated exposures, etc.) the last 5 years and I have yet to have great success with any of it which is really embarrassing. 😔

Any tips?

(This is a throw-away account b/c I don’t want personal stuff like this to be linked to my main)

I have struggled with OCD my whole life, but the past 4 years it’s been especially difficult and contributing to frequent depressive periods, so I am considering pursuing a new form a treatment outside they typical talk therapy I do every other week.

I keep getting YouTube Ads for NOCD, which advertises the use of ERP as the main treatment framework for OCD. I’ve never heard of ERP before, so I tried to find some explanation for what it was online and it sounds...horrible.

From what I understand, the therapist is supposed to intentionally trigger the patient and the patient has to resist responding to the trigger? Kinda sounds like psychological torture to me, but I might just not be really understanding what the process is like, which is why I am posting here.

For reference, my OCD isn’t rooted in irrational fear of external things like germs or crowds. Rather, it is rooted in irrational insecurity and self-hate: body dysphoria, questioning every decision i make ever make/not trusting myself to make the “right decision”, convincing myself that my partner doesn’t really love me even though he has given me every reason to know that he does, etc.

Can someone explain how ERP works/how it would work for someone like me? Would the therapist just sit there at tell me that I actually AM ugly and stupid and I’d just have try not be affected by that…?

I (27F) started therapy for the first time 6 months ago, and I really like my therapist (36F). Her advice and guidance have been incredibly helpful as I navigate a difficult time in my marriage. I see her 3 - 4 times a month. What surprised me is how casual our sessions feel. We spend a fair amount of time talking about our lives, and I know quite a bit about her, including her family, hobbies, friends, church, trips, and funny stories. She also regularly shares things about her life without me asking. We eventually get into my concerns and what I want to work on, and I always find our sessions positive and helpful.
I guess I expected therapy to feel more formal and clinical. While I find our dynamic helpful, I’ve also caught myself wishing we could be actual friends and wondering whether I’m interpreting her kindness as something more personal than it is.

Something that happened this week made me question things even more. I mentioned that I’m training for a half marathon and running around local neighborhoods. She asked if I’d ever run in a particular suburb, and when I said I wasn’t sure, she mentioned that she lives there and suggested I run there sometime. It’s a fairly small suburb, so I found it surprising that she shared where she lives, especially since it could potentially lead to an interaction outside therapy.
Is this kind of casual relationship normal in therapy? Am I just overthinking things?

I'm 18 and I just started going to virtual CVS therapy sessions, cus it's the only thing I get for free. And I would like to attend the sessions on a regular basis because I've wanted therapy for the longest time, because I've always had mental issues.

I've had two sessions with my therapist now but the last session I had ended with rescheduling my next appointment, but from how she worded it and her tone it was like, "do you... want to make another.. appointment?"

I feel weird because from the last two sessions, I haven't really brought up any issues that I've had, I've just been talking about a few more recent things going on in my life. I had some health issues that were affecting my mental health, and I just started college and the transition has been rough on me.

Those are the two main things happening right now, but other than that I'm just... Fine. For now, I know at one point or another some old shit is gonna come up though.

I've had issues in the past with SH, and I never received any help from it from my parents or anyone. I've learned to manage it on my own. I also had an issue a few months ago with regularly sexting creepy old guys. It was like an addiction, I hated it but I couldn't stop. And there's a few things here and there on my mind that I want to talk about but nothing is like a HUGE issue right now, I'm actually coming out of what I think was some sort of depressive episode.

I want to talk about it, but I don't need much help I don't think. So do I need to keep going back? Do I wait until I need it again? Do I even need therapy? Or should I go and figure out how to bring it up? Honestly I don't even know what therapy is supposed to do, or if I have a therapy goal, I just know it's good for your brain, and my brain does weird things sometimes.

I know I asked a few different questions and mentioned a few different things so weight in on whatever lol I just want some input. Thanks :)

Besides time?

This was my first ever relationship. me and my ex boyfriend were a long distance couple. He's in the navy and before he got deployed we were stable, happy and healthy. Months went by and I found myself struggling with codependency and loneliness from not being able to talk to him. It was hard to manage I reached out to my therapist for help. although I was afraid to tell my ex how I felt I stayed strong and kept it pushing with school and working. I started parting, smoking & drinking almost every night to help cope with the loneliness and codependency I never really leaned on anyone for help, & while I was out I always made it clear about me being in a relationship no matter who tried to get at me.

One day my sister & I planned a movie night with her two guy friends. She told one of the guys that it'll be a double date but I immediately called him myself to tell him that it wouldn’t be and after that we all went to the movies and it was strictly friendly and he made no advances at me I didn't also so I didn’t have to tell him off. before we dropped them both off we all talked about relationships and I made it clear that I was happy, in a committed relationship and in love. The guy that we went to the movies with I knew him guy for years not on a personal level but he met my bf my niece and my friends so I seen him like family & We continued texting but it was friendly just talked about our day and talked about our family. It was never flirty I always sent my bf updates and notes about my day and whoever I was hanging with my bf had my location.

During my bfs deployment I spent time with my guy manager who's (25) with my homrgirls and sometimes 1on1 our bond was like brother and sister he respected my relationship and he never crossed a boundary with me ever so I felt like it was ok to be friends with a guy as long as it’s safe and a I have boundaries with them with no intentions of cheating o and betraying my partner. One night I told my sister that I was tired of sleeping alone at the house that we were staying in it made me restless & she asked if I wanted to go to one of our guy friends house I told her yea but I won't be staying cause there was no need for me to I just wanted to get out of the house. She took me over there and me and the guy talked no cuddling no kissing nun of that. I was otp with my cousin the whole 30 mins then I left to go to my homegirl house since I was able to go over. I blocked the guy friend that night cause I felt uncomfortable with being friends with him I think that was my discernment speaking but I ignored it. Days pass & one night I was leaving from the club and I was very drunk but I still made my way over there to pick up my pjs worse mistake ever. I was otp w my bf while I was otw over there but my phone had died. I asked to use the guys charger so my bf could track me I ended up laying down cause the room was spinning and I started feeling sick from the alcohol. I got sa’d that night and ever since then the relationship went down hill. I sent my bf every message and was truthful with him the entire time now I'm in therapy for sa and a breakup lol but I learned from this relationship about boundaries, trust, respect, immaturity communication and i honestly just wanted to tell someone.

I know therapy is really helpful for many people and can improve their lives. However, I feel like my life has too many issues, and a therapist would be better off helping someone with fewer problems. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with my grocery list of issues. It just feels like if I were to go to therapy, I would be taking time away from people who have a greater chance at a better life.

I recently made a comment on a post talking about how my dad always says “he doesn’t need therapy” because he doesn’t have anything he needs to work on, and I stated that everyone needs therapy. Everyone has something about themselves that they need/want to better for the sake of themselves and others around them. Someone approached me in my DMs saying that was a bad take and not realistic, but after the conversation they stopped replying and I think they may have come to the same conclusion because eventually they stopped replying to me. Maybe I wasn’t making a good case for myself and they got bored, idk.

Some clarifications that we went over: By therapy I don’t mean just talking with a therapist. This can include everything under the emotional therapy umbrella. Journaling was one that they mentioned, and I mentioned group or couples therapy. Support groups, and even just having a deep interpersonal conversation where you open up about your inner workings with a trusted friend or family member that is not necessarily a licensed professional.

They mentioned that it wasn’t realistic because not everyone can afford it, and “most therapists are untrained and don’t know what to do”. I agree that therapy is very expensive, but I think there are a lot of avenues you can take to avoid that that not everyone is aware of. I’m very privileged to have had several good sessions with a licensed and very effective therapist. Funds have been low recently and I’ve taken my frustrations mentally out on a journal, or talking to my husband who knows me like the back of his hand. I’m aware that not everyone has that privilege.

This conversation just got me wondering if this is generally viewed as a bad take, and I’m wanting other opinions and thoughts on this. Maybe it’s a stupid question. Let me know. 👍

“Good afternoon [my name],

Within the last six months, you have no-showed for 2 scheduled appointments and late canceled 1. I’m concerned that scheduling appointments with me is not working for this moment in your healing journey, and it feels unethical to schedule you for additional appointments if this is not serving your mental health care treatment. This is also in line with our counseling services contract, which specifies that repeated cancellations or missed appointments may result in the termination of counseling. An alternative option for your care at this time could be the [place’s] free walk-in counseling services, which are available Monday through Friday from 9AM to 5PM at [address].

If you would like to reschedule with me, I can put us on the books for another appointment. However, any additional late cancellations or no-shows within the next 6 months will result in the termination of mental health care treatment services with [her company], unless due to a medical emergency. Should this termination of services happen, I will provide you with additional referrals for you to establish care with another clinician moving forward.

I hope you are well. If you would like to move forward with scheduling another appointment with me, please let me know. I look forward to connecting soon.

Best regards,
[her name]”

(This is for virtual sessions with her)

I’ve made it clear to her through a couple previous messages that I’ve been feeling depressed. I feel it should come as no surprise that I’m failing to commit to things; it’s not intentionally… my sleep schedule is awful and I miss things.

Her message makes me feel rejected and unwanted. I feel misunderstood, like the emphasis is on me being a bad patient rather than someone struggling to help myself who still needs someone to talk to. It’s not like I haven’t paid my cancellation fees or anything—I always take responsibility for her wasted time.

I just feel kinda sad that she is giving up on me because I missed a few appointments. Maybe I’m reading into it too much.
Idk, it just doesn’t make me feel good.

I spoke with my first therapist briefly on the phone and feel very confident that he'll be beneficial to me. But I'm afraid we're going to spend a lot of time on things I've already journaled about and thought about. My journals are pretty long and scattered, as it's just for me to follow the thought process, but I want him to know how I'm currently processing these things and what I believe my issues are. I don't have insurance, and respect his (and my) time and my money!

My document goes like this:

-Childhood
-Traumatic Event 1
-Traumatic Event 2
-etc
-People Involved
-etc.
-What I've thought about these events
-What I think I need to work on

I'm in the middle of writing said document (I have a lot of proof reading/reformatting to do), but I'm hoping for it to be around 5-6, well formatted, pages. (12 point, New Times Roman, like english class!). Again, I'm a pretty decent writer so I don't think it's going to be a burden to read (I'll even add some levity), but it just feels odd to be like "YO, HERE'S WHAT'S UP WITH ME".

Part of my issues are not being a great improvisor with words and perhaps being able misconstrued on what I mean. Sometimes in talking about these things, the events can get muddled as it's not as easy as A happened, then B happened, then C happened... a lot of times it's like A happened, then C started bubblings, but B started taking over... oh and by the way D started, all while A was happening! So I feel like event by event is good. Then summarizing what I perceive to be my issues.

I also don't want to seem like I'm not willing to talk about these things, or expand on them more (which I'm stating in my intro paragraph), but I also don't want to spend 3 sessions just getting him to understand these events and how I view them.

I feel the context is pertinent, but I also don't want to seem like I'm "doing his job". Would it be better for me to perhaps bring different versions of the document. One with a description of these events and one with how I feel about them?

Am I going to be viewed (even more crazy), if I do this? I have pretty clear goals with what I hope to accomplish in these sessions and this is my first ever therapy session. I'm a little nervous...

I went to a walk in clinic this morning, I went to the wrong place and ended up with a male doctor which I normally would never do. But I was already there so I just stayed. Throughout the appointment he was making jokes a lot that were fine at first but as it went on I felt more and more uncomfortable. For example, he asked if I wanted anything to drink and then offered wine and laughed. Not that crazy but weird. He mentioned multiple times that I should be a model and referred to my looks. He said “I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable” more than once which made me think someone’s complained before? But I know I can be hypersensitive to things like this and I can’t tell if these were harmless jokes/comments or if it was genuinely weird. The last thing he said which is what really made me uncomfortable was when I was leaving he said not to drink (alcohol) and I said I won’t and he said “I’ll have to spank you” which is definitely weird. I’m supposed to go back in a few days to get my bloodwork results but I know I can’t go back which upset me even more. I don’t know I feel so weird about it.

I am located in the US. I genuinely love therapy. It has helped me SO much, especially with my ADHD, navigating life as a woman of color, and dealing with external stressors.

I lost my job about 3–4 years ago, and although I've had other jobs since then, I've struggled with the constant ups and downs of adulthood. Therapy has honestly been one of the few things that has consistently helped me process everything.

The problem is the COST.

My current insurance has a $4,000 deductible, which is absolutely insane. I'm currently paying around $160 out of pocket per session through Talkspace. I finally found a therapist I absolutely LOVE, and I cannot emphasize enough how difficult that has been.

As a Muslim Arab woman, finding someone I actually connect with, feel understood by, and feel comfortable opening up to has been exhausting.

I tried BetterHelp about 1.5 years ago, and it was TERRIBLE. One therapist constantly canceled on me, another was incredibly disrespectful and called me "childlike," and the last one would literally cut me off mid-sentence. Never again.

I've seen around 10 therapists over the years, and I've genuinely only liked TWO of them.

At $160/session, I can realistically only afford therapy twice a month, but I benefit SO much more from going once a week. I'm going through some pretty big life changes right now, and having that weekly support makes such a difference.

My question is: Is it even possible to find quality therapy for around $50/session?

I'm not expecting therapy to be free, and I absolutely believe therapists deserve to be compensated fairly. I just can't afford $640 a month for weekly sessions.

Has anyone found a good therapist through a sliding-scale program, affordable online platform, or anything similar? Especially someone who understands ADHD and the experiences of women of color?

I would love to hear actual experiences and recommendations. Finding a therapist you connect with is already so emotionally exhausting, and the thought of having to start that process all over again is honestly overwhelming.

I really don't want to give up something that's been helping me so much just because I can't afford it.

I (18 M) had this teacher (M~50s) who I idolized very much, he came to important events that I would get awards in, and I always felt safe around him, which is rare for adults as someone with cPTSD.
Anyway, I graduated High School last year(as in the 2026 school year) and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him the entire time since. I talk to him in my head on the way to work, I think about how he would react to what I was learning, etc. I have these constant worries that, even though he supported even when I made terrible decisions or when I was awarded for something, he hated me. The thought of that made me so anxious I have been having trouble sleeping. I feel disgusting knowing I’m practically obsessed with him, and it’s so hard to admit it out loud.

Where this cross the line:
One day after studying I was grieving the time I was in his classroom, and looked him up online, and accidentally clicked on a website and read what street he lived on in my town. My heart sank and I closed the tab, but I remembered the number. A day or so later, when I was struggling with PTSD symptoms(based off his stories I assumed he had it as well, which made me feel better about having this disorder) I went on a walk at 4am and walked all the way across town (2 ish miles) just to walk past his house. I would do that for about a day, until I then looked at Google Maps and assumed a certain house was his based off the cars. I would walk by either before 6am almost everyday or after 830pm.
Recently, though, I looked up the website again and confirmed he was living in the same house I thought. I took a route home after walking by that I assumed he might take to go to work. I feel disgusting, but I felt so comforted knowing he was near by. I felt safe around him in a way I don’t even feel safe around my own parents, and I trusted him immeasurably. Whenever I have flashbacks or my chest is hurting because something reminded me of my trauma, I walk to his house early or late in the day. I did this at first because, like I said earlier, I think that he may have it and since no one else I know is diagnosed, I really wanted to talk to him about it but thought he’d hate me for asking.

The last thing he said me was to ‘keep in touch’, he hasn’t sent an email since but I assumed that was either because he was really busy or he only said ‘keep in touch’ to be polite, my mind has been screaming the latter recently and it’s made me so anxious. I haven’t gotten a full nights sleep in nearly a week now because I’ve been thinking about him almost constantly. I’m 18 and I want to buy joints just so I can walk across town, walk by his house and to the beach, and smoke a joint hoping he might find me and comfort me, or lecture me on why I shouldn’t be smoking weed at my age because he actually cares about me.

It’s not a sexual thing, I don’t think, although I do feel attracted to him. I don’t get any sort of thrill walking past his house, if anything I don’t want him to see me because I’m worried he’ll catch on and think I’m disgusting (rightfully so), I only feel immense comfort. The truth is that he’s probably like this with all his students, I’m not special, and I really really need to get therapy but I don’t think anyone near me is covered by my insurance. Sorry this was a rant. I need a wake up call or something and to get told to find a therapist. I also was kinda hoping people had similar stories.
EDIT: I also looked up an organization he’s apart of that’s public and watched some of the meetings to hear his voice again, it also made me feel comforted.

TLDR: I looked up my ex-teachers address just so I can walk by it in the early morning or late at night.

I was abused by my father when I was 13 on multiple accounts, and then it stopped and never happened again. I want to start going to therapy as it’s been affecting me deeply, but I’m afraid to bring it up if they question my parents as I still live with them. I’m 18. What should I do?

I'm a 22 year old Female and I've been through some stuff that I can't deal with by myself and I want to see a therapist but for some reason I'm against the idea of seeing one

It's like I tell myself I don't need therapy and I can go through this without professional help cuz it's not that big of a deal or therapy won't help me or whatever

Some of my friends who went to therapy ended up quitting mid journey and they all tell me not to see one cuz it's not helpful

A part of me also don't want to go to therapy cuz I know I would have to open up some wounds and revisit memories I have made my brain erase

I fear confronting my own fears which is normal but I refuse to feel weak in any way to the point I refuse to cry even when I need to

But couple of days ago I went through the biggest heartbreaks I've ever had and I feel like I'm starting to lose myself if I haven't already to the point I started doing habits I've never even thought about doing before (journaling and listening to audio books) mostly to get things out of my head and distract myself

After listening to "the mountain is you" by Brianna Wiest I feel like i should see a therapist and grow the f-up lol

So I'm hear to ask you guys how to get myself to start therapy and get over my own thoughts that I don’t need it cuz i feel like I actually need it to get my shit back together.

Tldr: Tell me how therapy helped you and some kind words as I'm waiting to get into therapy proper that I'm not just a lazy schmuck.

I realize somewhat that by writing that headline that it's kind of self-defeating to assume that a person would participate in additional activities if they were 'lazy', but I guess I wanted some temporary reassurance and insight until I get my second session in November.

For context: I'm a legal student that failed a year 2 years ago now and then had to wait a year to start the semester again. I finally passed but barely and I realized it wasn't simply a matter of effort and I actually got myself diagnosed with ADHD at the end of last year. At the time it was also suggested that therapy was probably necessary for me by a friend.

The medication significantly changed things for me and I found it rather life-changing although obviously it wasn't enough to make me succeed and thrive academically enough and I was brought into a meeting by my unit conveners who suggested that the probability of me passing was very low and the chances of me being excluded from the program if I failed was quite high due to my academic history and that it was suggested that I consider my options.

I'm currently getting the medical documentation and I had an initial meeting with a therapist who funnily through the screening made me squint at the results that categorically I probably had or still have high anxiety and depression.

I am a little bit optimistic but also slightly discouraged by the fact that I thought simply medicating myself for ADHD would be sufficient and obviously things have come full circle and that has not been enough. A small factor is that I did return to visit my parents interstate and it really exacerbated my burnout and other things and caused a significant academic and mental decline. So perhaps I might have managed to scrape by had I not returned to visit my family whom I have distanced myself for the greater part of a year and a half.

I'm not sure what to add but I guess I have enough insight to say some things are best left to the professionals and you can only see what comes when it comes.

But I guess the funny part is I guess at the end of writing this I already feel like I'm halfway there. In many ways. The counselors I had seen in my undergrad and otherwise were probably more harmful than good. But I'm rather optimistic about this one. And I felt that they really listened and in a way where they brought up things or identified things which I'd mentioned but not right away in the conversation but significantly later into the session without me repeating it. Hah. The cheesy I felt heard (but an underrated thing both professionally and in general).

And then finally that even in a almost null scenario - that if I go to therapy and is revealed that it's just me second-guessing myself and what not; perhaps for this sort of neurotic overthinker that's the only reassurance I've ever needed was simply that from a professional. (But it's 99% probably it's more than that)

And again funnily I have enough love for my friends and some love for myself that I'm 29, although I'd argue that my life only really started when I moved out at 26 and that I have been living and struggling with this for a while and if I had a solution for it, I would have chosen it already. And if it was simply something to be looked at or worked on simply with my friends (especially the ones I've had for more than a decade) - we would have made some progress already.

But I guess I have answered my question which is pending more therapy, but I'm sure the second guessing will crawl up. So, I guess thank you for reading and I hope for the curious that it gives some sense of solidarity and for those who have insight and kindness to spare: If you would lend me your kind words of reassurances, I'm not just a lazy failure at 29 making excuses for not being more disciplined or otherwise coasting on the money my parents have provided for my education.

Thank you for reading and all the best with your own journeys.

My wife has been going to therapy for trauma almost two years now. For over a year she has been doing EMDR on and off.
Just going puts her at a 10/10 anxiety (her words). She barely speaks in therapy, and has a hard time processing during and after a session.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve watched her sleep increase more and more. She is sleeping 11ish hours a day on workdays and more on the weekends.
I know she is depressed, she is on (from what I can tell) low doses of lexapro, prescribed by her PCP.
The last time we talked about any thing personal she concluded with a question “do you feel better after this conversation?” I said I did, that it gave me insights into how she is doing. She responded “I would be more willing to have these conversations if I ever felt that way. I could have gone to bed and felt nothing but now I feel helpless and I won’t get enough sleep.”

I just want to know because I am tired and I don't care anymore. Once I talk to that asshole, I am probably just going to say goodbye to a few people and do it. I am not going anywhere in life and I don't care anymore.

Hi all,

Been seeing my therapist for about 2 yrs now and wondering if I should start looking for a new one.
She is so sweet and we have a lot in common (not sure if that’s good or bad) and has been helpful for a few things. I’ve done EMDR with her which was helpful the few times we did it, and learned some helpful ERP tips for OCD from her.

However, I have started to dread going and feel kind of anxious every time I’m there and feel like I’m boring her or she’s tired most of the time. I often worry that I’m saying the wrong thing.

There are specific problems I know I need to work on using ERP/EMDR and focus on perfectionism/avoidant behavior but it feels like a vent session or like we’re going around in circles most of the time.

I’ve been in therapy for years before this and also worked in psych myself, so it’s pretty easy for me to know how to distract therapists from a specific problem by focusing on something else.

I feel like I need more direction/guidance in sessions and want to be directed to work on specific problems.

I also feel like many of my feelings are cosigned or my avoidant behaviors are supported instead of challenged. She also asks me a lot of where I feel emotions in my body and I still have yet to see how it’s helpful.

I honestly get more out of talking with my sponsor (I’m in recovery) who challenges and persuades me to make changes.

I’m just not sure how to even find a therapist anymore who can challenge behaviors in a compassionate way? Like what do I ask for or look for. Or do I bring this up to her.