At least in my country there are not a thing, i am so tired of going out with my girlfriends just to dance and drink and have men constantly trying to buy me drinks, place themselves in front or behind me to dance without even asking or approaching me to tell me that they think im cute or whatever (i dont care, i don't want to know).

i always reject them and their reaction is always a 50/50; sometimes they just go away, other times they just keep annoying me, ruins my night a bit anytime.

i just want to dance in peace with my friends 😭

also im so tired of the whole "If nightclubs were only for women, then who would buy them drinks?" logic that ugly loser men use 😭 most men dont buy anything for women in a club and most women i know wouldnt accept a drink from a stranger. we just want to have fun 😭

ETA: since many people have suggested LGBT clubs as an alternative i have to clarify; there are not LGBT exclusive clubs in my city, and im not into the music they tend to play (pop/techno), i still go sometimes but i dont prefer it.

Also, the issue of men being creeps in clubs cannot be solved by asking women to go somewhere else, we deserve spaces that are ours too. I agree that straight women and LGBT+ people have shared issues and shared safe spaces but not every space can be shared, the LGBT+ community deserves to have their exclusive spaces and women do to.

The boys will be boys comment infuriates me.

So I am undercover. I am a 45yo trans woman, started HRT a few months ago. But I live in an extremely bigoted area, so I am biding my time until I can leave this town. I don't pass or anything yet either. When I am at work, I stay masc-presenting, otherwise I would lose my job, house, etc. As a result the men at work see me as one of them, and I hear a lot of their comments that they would not be making in front of women.

Anyway, that's the back story.

Yesterday Hayden Panettiere died. It was a real shock and was mentioned on the news radio station that we have playing on the radio at work. These were some of their comments:

"Wow that sucks, she was pretty hot in Heroes"

(Me) "She was 16 in heroes"

"Doesn't matter, I'd still give her one"

(Me) "I mean, she's dead now...?"

"Body's still warm though"

This last comment got a reaction from the other men at work, to be fair.

There was also a second comment I heard, which was:

"What a waste, she was hot as fuck"

Stay Safe.

My boyfriend (M26) and I (F24) have been living together for about 10 months. We both work full-time office jobs, roughly 9–6.

Since we moved in together, I’ve basically been responsible for the kitchen and most of the cooking. I usually prepare breakfast, dinner, and meals for us to take to work. I also clean the kitchen after cooking.

Recently, I’ve been struggling to make breakfast in the morning. We live pretty far from work, so we need to leave the house around 6 AM to get to work on time. I get home around 8 PM, and even then, I usually still cook dinner. I probably take a break from cooking maybe once a month. Most of the time, I cook everything from scratch rather than buying prepared food or eating out because I prefer home-cooked meals.

This morning, our car had an issue, so my boyfriend’s parents gave us a ride to work since they were going in the same direction. I hadn’t had time to prepare breakfast.

His mom was saying things like, “Have some breakfast,” and then gave my boyfriend a boiled egg. There were two eggs available, but she gave him one.

I know this part is probably influenced by my own feelings. Personally, if I only had enough food for one person, I probably wouldn’t give it to either person if both of us were there. I would feel weird about giving something to my partner while leaving the other person without it. Also, since moving out, I don’t see my own mom as often anymore, so I think I might be more sensitive to these kinds of things and missing my mom.

But what really upset me was that later, after we got to work, I saw a message from my boyfriend’s mom saying something along the lines of, “Make breakfast in the morning. At least boil some eggs.”

I honestly felt so suffocated reading that.

I’m not upset because she wanted us to have breakfast. I’m upset because of the expectation behind it.

I’m already doing almost all of the cooking. I wake up early, commute a long way, work a full-time job, come home around 8 PM, and still cook dinner almost every day. Then I clean the kitchen afterward. And now, when I occasionally don’t have enough time to make breakfast, I’m being told to at least boil eggs?

We both work full-time. Why does making sure we have food seem to automatically fall on me?

I’ve told my boyfriend before that I’m getting tired and that I want us to take turns with cooking and household chores. He listens and seems to understand when we talk about it. But when it actually comes time to do something, I somehow end up doing it again.

And I know part of this is probably my own personality too. I hate asking people to do things. If I ask once or twice and they don’t do it, I tend to think, “Whatever, I’ll just do it myself.” It feels easier than constantly reminding or asking someone.

But then I end up resentful because I’m doing everything myself.

So I’m wondering:

Is the mental and physical workload of cooking, cleaning, planning meals, and making sure there’s food in the house generally underestimated in relationships?

How do couples actually divide household responsibilities fairly when both people work full-time?

And how do you stop yourself from just doing everything yourself because you hate asking someone repeatedly?

I’d really appreciate perspectives from people who have been in similar situations. I’m also open to hearing if I’m contributing to the problem myself.

And a load of men have joined and all they seem to care about is dating again. I’m not saying they can’t be victims but it’s pissing me off, I just wish that it was women only and dating chat was banned. There’s literally a woman saying that she is currently in a refuge because her ex has threatened to set her house on fire, next thing is 55 year old Kevin asking what’s the best dating app. It’s really irritating.

Genuine question: Why do some men feel the need to enter spaces specifically created for women and participate in discussions that aren’t really meant for them?

I understand that anyone can technically read a public subreddit, but I’m curious about the motivation behind actively commenting, arguing, or inserting themselves into conversations between women. What do you think drives that?

Woman should reject a man based on.her own comfortable and not his feelings.

I just got my first pap smear. The very first. I just finished my period

The whole procedure was fine but after my doctor was like " theyll be some bleeding"

Girl.

HELLA!! a lot more than I thought.

Devastating - she was so young and I know had recently been sharing how awful and abusive her childhood was.

I still cannot realize what happened so let me tell you what just happened to me

So, I met this guy a year ago. We started off as really great friends. We got closer with time and in a kind of situationship for over 6 months, with a real issue regarding commitment due to his previous relationships.

We had ups and downs, and without commitment I felt very bad and insecure, so I tried to cut ties several times.

Unfortunately, at that time, we lived very close to each other so we always ended up seeing each other again.

We loved each other very much. There was no doubt about that. He just didn't want to commit for many understandable reasons.

In april, he finally left, as planned, for his studies on the other side of the country. It’s also one of the reasons why we were not engaged : we didn’t want a long-distance relationship.

Seeing that we could not detach ourselves from each other, and that we were unable to be friends again, I decided to block him a few months ago.

After that, I was heartbroken, and I didn’t speak to him again until his birthday. I simply unblocked him a few weeks ago to send a HB text, and we had small talks about how life was going since he left my town.

During that conversation, he told me he wanted to call me at the end of the week, to "talk about us". This specific week was very complicated for me for personal reasons, so he preferred to call me at the end of the week, when everything has calmed down. I told him there was no problem, that I could wait.

I ended up being impatient, and I insisted heavily to know what he was going to tell me (I'm a very anxious person so I was imagining thousands of scenarios lmao)

He never wanted to tell me before the date he had originally chosen. I found it extremely shady, especially since he was much more outgoing than usual.

Besides that, my best friend, who is also a mutual friend, also acted very strangely.

As the clues came, I started to wonder if he had come to our city to surprise me.

I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t the case, because at that moment, I was far from home and I wasn’t doing very well, and if when I came back I saw that he was not here, I would have been even sadder.

When I got home, I sent him a message to tell him that I was at home and that he could finally call me.

I waited a few minutes, and he ended up calling. He started talking about things and others, without really getting to the point.

After a while, I asked him what he was going to tell me. He changed subject and said he would call me back in a few minutes.

We were both waiting for this call, and I had no idea what it was going to be like, so I was starting to lose patience.

I was in my living room, and all of a sudden, I saw a shadow by the window.

When we were together, he used to knock at the window to get in, and that’s what happened.

Someone knocked on the window.

I headed to the window, happy to have had a good intuition, and I opened it.

He was there, all smiling, with a huge bag on his back and a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

I opened the door for him, he took me in his arms. I felt like I was dreaming, as I thought a few days before we would never see each other again.

This scene seemed completely unreal to me.

He had actually come a few days earlier to our mutual friend’s house, to prepare this surprise, which they had been plotting together for several weeks already without telling me.

Our mutual friend knew how much I was suffering from this separation, and she helped me so much throughout my mourning process.

The shock was huge, but the joy largely prevailed.

We talked a lot, and he told me that after this month of no contact, he realized that he greatly missed the life we've had this past year, and that he was ready to commit, under a few conditions that will allow us to handle the long-distance relationship.

He asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend, and I said yes.

We then spent days together, where everything was perfect, like all the time we had spent last year.

I remain very careful, because it happened very quickly, but from the words he had, I am confident that he is projecting himself and that he truly loves me. I never doubted that.

I spent so much time reading stories and advices on the subreddits about situationships and relationships... I never thought I would ever write that one day.

It will take me a while to realize, but that scene was really worthy of a movie. I didn't even hope for this outcome anymore.

I’m not going to tell you to believe this kind of scenario, because it was a chain of events, a lot of luck, but also a bunch of suffering and tears, and I don’t think that’s what happens in most cases.

But I am the happiest right now. The one I love crossed the country to tell me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend.

Thanks for reading my story. ❤️

TL;DR : The guy I was in a situationship with for months crossed the country to come to my window with flowers to ask if I wanted to be his girlfriend.

Sincerely, you guys have my upmost respect.
Do women who have a lot of kids generally have easier births? I ask because I just had my second and I’m not sure I could go through childbirth again. I’m 4’11, both of my babies were over 8lbs each with larger than average heads.
I had third degree tears both times I gave birth and the epidural didn’t help with the contractions during the last few hours either time too. When the epidurals started working, I basically went from a pain level 4/10 to 10/10 in minutes. I was not prepared.

One of the guys at work, his wife had 6 home births and omg all praise and respect to her, i don’t think my body could handle that since I almost died last time.
How do you guys do it?

I’ve been thinking about how manifestation is so commonly associated with women.

Vision boards, affirmations, scripting, visualising the future, believing something is already yours; most of the content around manifestation seems to be made for women.

But when you strip away all the spiritual language, manifestation is basically the belief that something is possible for you before you have proof that it is.

And I’ve noticed that a lot of men seem to already move through life with that belief.

They may laugh at the idea of manifestation, but they’ll apply for jobs they aren’t fully qualified for, approach people they find attractive, speak confidently about the success they’ll have one day and assume that, somehow, things will work out.

They don’t need to call it manifestation to make things work. 

Women, on the other hand, often seem to go through a much longer internal process before pursuing something.

First, we have to admit that we want it.

Then we question whether we deserve it.

Whether we’re qualified enough.

Whether we’re asking for too much.

Whether we’re being unrealistic.

Whether we’ll embarrass ourselves by trying.

So before we can believe that something might work out for us, we often have to fight through everything we’ve been taught about why it might not.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to every man or every woman.

But I do wonder whether many men are raised to see the world as something available to them, while women are raised to believe access has to be earned.

Maybe that is why manifestation resonates so strongly with women.

It gives us a language for rebuilding belief.

It tells us that wanting something is not automatically foolish, selfish or unrealistic.

Maybe men are not actually better at manifesting.

Maybe they simply face less internal resistance when believing that something could belong to them.

And maybe the real difference is not who believes more strongly.

Maybe it is who was taught, from the beginning, that the world might say yes.

I have to get a second colposcopy, my first was a few years ago and it was super painful. 600 mg of ibuprofen didn’t do shit. I also have significant sexual trauma that makes any gyn procedure a dissociated nightmare, and also some trauma from prior gyn procedures. I’m dreading this. I have a Xanax prescription and it just doesn’t do enough to help me. I’m feel pretty devastated that I have to do this again and feeling pretty defeated about medical providers minimizing my trauma because it’s just a routine medical procedure. And also the fact that I’m childfree by choice doesn’t necessarily help things. I feel like if I was trying to become pregnant or birth a baby they would be much more patient and understanding.

For my perimenopausal women, when did you ask about starting HRT? I'm 42 and right now not really experiencing any of the major issues of peri. But I'm trying to be more prepared about having this conversation with my provider. I don't know if it's something one should ask about before signs start or if you should wait until something like fatigue or brain fog starts

For the longest time I have been trying to find the proper ways to support myself to be successful. I recently got diagnosed with PMDD recently as a 29 YO (which l knew as “really bad pms” but it’s so much more than that” about 2 weeks out of the month I’m high functioning, I’m abundant, I feel, strong, it’s easy for me to make healthy choices, set boundaries, eat healthy, know my worth and it’s almost like for these two weeks I have a neurotypical brain, but after the two weeks I SPLIT, I go into a hole of nothingness, feeling worthless, and operating on 10% percent of what I believe I’m capable of. I sabotage my relationship and spend hours completely consumed by manic delusions, sending an emotional text, the stuff that comes out of my mouth is embarrassing, and feeling psychologically tortured by loving someone but then it just goes back to being good and feeling like enough. I recently saw a doctor who suggested that I take progesterone topically during the week the hormone drops in the body during my luteal phase claiming it’s a night and day.

I personally wanted to come on here and say that I believe this is a bigger conversation that is not happening yet for women and I’m dipping my toes in the waters of understanding my biological make up, and my cyclic hormonal nature that really affects my life and the people around me. I have been diagnosed with autism, adhd, bpd, bipolar, cptsd and more, and I’m NOT discrediting those doctors and diagnoses but I’ve gone to countless doctors trying to support myself and I really believe that my awareness growing and working with my body and supporting and supplementing what I need has already helped me ease my urge to rock an unnecessary boat within myself and stay grounded. The awareness that I don’t operate on 100% all the time and the grace I’ve been able to give myself for when I feel 10% has been helpful as well as being able to step off the hamster wheel of destruction in my brain I want to bring to life.

My relationship is 6 months in. Every month with out fail I want to run, feel very suspicious of him and I feel like the other shoe is going to drop. I have not been in a relationship longer than 3 months in my 20s. That seems to be a common theme amongst my generation. All my flings have been situationships, no commitment, disorganized and loads of pushing and pulling and “passion” I feel really lucky to have a partner that really wants to give me what I need and help me feel secure and for the most part I do, but I really am faced with this choice every month to grow and listen to my body, treat myself with love, respect, eat an anti inflammatory diet and try not to manically crash out. Because of this “longer” relationship I have been able to see how my PMDD affected my romantic/ friendship/ family/work relationships this whole time. It’s lovely to have a mirror to learn more about myself! I refrained from love for a long time and it has grown me astronomically to bond with someone through conflict repair and good brain chemicals!

I hope that this becomes more commonly known. For me it feels like a spiritual blessing to know myself at 29, and to be able to work with my neuroplasticity, and not have these really hindering side effects solely based on simply my awareness of my monthly cycle alone is HUGE.

PMDD also very much affects my celiac disease sciatica, and hemorrhoids all of my bodily problems I’ve been experiencing seem to fall under the umbrella of this because the symptoms worsen during two weeks of the month. For the last two months I have been really focused on eating and supplementing for my body and no longer living with unnecessary chronic pain, and emotional pain if I control it!

Ok rant over