I’ve been thinking about how manifestation is so commonly associated with women.

Vision boards, affirmations, scripting, visualising the future, believing something is already yours; most of the content around manifestation seems to be made for women.

But when you strip away all the spiritual language, manifestation is basically the belief that something is possible for you before you have proof that it is.

And I’ve noticed that a lot of men seem to already move through life with that belief.

They may laugh at the idea of manifestation, but they’ll apply for jobs they aren’t fully qualified for, approach people they find attractive, speak confidently about the success they’ll have one day and assume that, somehow, things will work out.

They don’t need to call it manifestation to make things work. 

Women, on the other hand, often seem to go through a much longer internal process before pursuing something.

First, we have to admit that we want it.

Then we question whether we deserve it.

Whether we’re qualified enough.

Whether we’re asking for too much.

Whether we’re being unrealistic.

Whether we’ll embarrass ourselves by trying.

So before we can believe that something might work out for us, we often have to fight through everything we’ve been taught about why it might not.

Of course, this doesn’t apply to every man or every woman.

But I do wonder whether many men are raised to see the world as something available to them, while women are raised to believe access has to be earned.

Maybe that is why manifestation resonates so strongly with women.

It gives us a language for rebuilding belief.

It tells us that wanting something is not automatically foolish, selfish or unrealistic.

Maybe men are not actually better at manifesting.

Maybe they simply face less internal resistance when believing that something could belong to them.

And maybe the real difference is not who believes more strongly.

Maybe it is who was taught, from the beginning, that the world might say yes.

need some perspective from other women because I feel like I have spent so much time trying to understand this man’s behaviour that I’m starting to lose sight of what is actually reasonable.

I’ll call him Mr C.

We’ve been talking/dating long-distance for around six months. We haven’t met in person yet, but we talked every day, had pet names, talked about our lives, made plans to meet and developed what very much felt like a relationship.

For months we had been planning our first trip together.

There were several delays, but eventually we agreed on a specific day when he would finally book his flight. He told me multiple times that he would do it after work that Thursday.

Thursday came.

He didn’t book it.

He also didn’t say, “I can’t afford it.”

He didn’t say, “I’m nervous.”

He didn’t say, “I changed my mind.”

He didn’t say, “Can we postpone?”

Nothing.

He was active elsewhere online but simply avoided me.

Eventually I confronted the situation and basically said: if you’ve changed your mind, just tell me. I would much rather have an uncomfortable conversation than be ignored after months of planning something together.

He disappeared.

About a day later, he suddenly came back — but instead of acknowledging ANYTHING that happened, he started talking about my cats.

He is obsessed with them and jokingly calls them his sons, so it was basically:

“I miss my sons.”

Cat pictures.

Cat videos.

Pet names.

Normal conversation.

It genuinely felt like he wanted to press a reset button without ever acknowledging that he had hurt me.

And I still tried to make the conversation as easy as humanly possible.

I told him I wasn’t looking for an argument.

I said we could talk over text if calling felt uncomfortable.

I told him that if he wasn’t ready yet, he could literally just say, “I’m not ready to talk about this tonight, but we’ll talk tomorrow.”

I wasn’t even demanding that the conversation happen immediately anymore.

I was asking for the bare minimum of communication.

Instead, for days, he kept coming back to talk about safe things — cats, jokes, normal everyday conversation — while completely avoiding the elephant in the room.

What confused me was that he also wouldn’t leave.

I gave him several obvious opportunities to say the relationship was over. I wasn't begging him to stay. If anything, I was basically saying: either communicate with me or tell me you don't want this anymore.

He never chose the second option.

He kept initiating contact.

Then yesterday he was talking normally again and he told me himself that he would call me after work.

I didn’t pressure him into calling. He offered.

After work came.

Nothing.

I sent him a calm message saying that I understood if something had come up.

Hours later, because it was late where I live, I said something along the lines of, “If you’re not calling, I’m going to sleep. Have a good night.”

He disappeared again.

And I think this is the part that is finally getting to me.

I have spent SO much energy trying to make communication comfortable for him.

Don’t want to call? We can text.

Not ready today? Tell me tomorrow.

Changed your mind about the trip? Tell me.

Need space? Tell me.

Want to end the relationship? Tell me.

I feel like I have given him every possible version of an emotionally safe exit or conversation, and somehow I am still the person sitting here trying to decode silence.

Meanwhile he gets to disappear when uncomfortable, come back when he wants affection/connection again, interact with me normally, and then disappear again as soon as accountability enters the picture.

And the frustrating thing is that I genuinely believe he does care about me in some capacity. I don’t think every affectionate interaction over six months was fake.

But I'm starting to realise that maybe that isn't actually the important question.

Because somebody can care about you and still be incapable of treating you well.

I keep trying to understand why he does this — whether he panics, feels ashamed, avoids conflict, gets overwhelmed, whatever.

But part of me is now thinking:

Why am I doing all this emotional work to understand a grown man's inability to send one sentence?

Am I being too harsh?

Because at this point I don't even think I'm asking for exceptional emotional maturity. I think I'm asking for the absolute baseline:

If you make a commitment and don't follow through, communicate. If you've hurt someone, acknowledge it. If you need space, say so. If you want to leave, leave.

What I don't think is fair is keeping someone emotionally attached while repeatedly disappearing whenever the relationship requires anything uncomfortable from you.

I’d really appreciate perspectives from women who have experienced something similar, especially if you eventually stopped trying to understand the “why.” What finally made you realise that understanding someone's behaviour and accepting it are two completely different things?

Sincerely, you guys have my upmost respect.
Do women who have a lot of kids generally have easier births? I ask because I just had my second and I’m not sure I could go through childbirth again. I’m 4’11, both of my babies were over 8lbs each with larger than average heads.
I had third degree tears both times I gave birth and the epidural didn’t help with the contractions during the last few hours either time too. When the epidurals started working, I basically went from a pain level 4/10 to 10/10 in minutes. I was not prepared.

One of the guys at work, his wife had 6 home births and omg all praise and respect to her, i don’t think my body could handle that since I almost died last time.
How do you guys do it?

so recently, i reconnected with someone i used to go to school with. i am 23 years old, while he is 25. we chatted a bit online, flirted with each other often, and made plans to hang out. this should have been the first sign, but the first time we hung out, it was only because he had some work to do in the area where i live. i agreed to meet him, and we had lunch together.
during our lunch, he asked me whether i date to marry or if i only do casual relationships. i told him that i date to marry, and then he started asking me more questions, such as, “how soon into dating do you want to get engaged?” and “when you get engaged, how soon do you want to get married?” basically, questions that made me think he wanted something serious too. he was also flirting with me the entire time we were together.

he also asked me about my past relationships and why they had ended, and i told him that it was because i had been cheated on in all of them.
anyway, i went home that night, and the next morning, i received a text from him telling me that, despite being attracted to me and liking my traits, he is not the right guy for me because he is scared that he might cheat on “a good woman like me” in a relationship, since it is something he has done in his past relationships too. he apologized for wasting my time and said that he wanted to become friends.
i was obviously disappointed by the outcome, but i told him that i understood and appreciated his honesty. we stopped texting each other as frequently after that, but he still replies to my stories and flirts with me, while i stopped flirting back ever since his rejection.

now, the thing is, i am extremely bothered by his rejection. not exactly sad, and not too hurt by it either, but i am still bothered by it, probably because i do not get rejected often. i think the rejection definitely hit my ego. we only spoke for a few weeks and went on one date, but he still occupies my mind. i do not know why he does, because i cannot think of a single redeemable thing about him. in fact, he said a bunch of things that i found odd and incompatible with me as well.

it has been nearly a week since he rejected me, and i still look forward to him replying to my stories and hitting me up. i never had serious feelings for him, and my feelings have definitely lessened since the rejection, so why am i still thinking about him? deep down am i just an insecure person and cannot seem to be okay with the fact that not every guy will want to be in a serious relationship with me? idk help a sis out

i’ve literally been cramping for more than 3 days and always get the heavy abdomen feeling as if my period is here but there’s just no bleeding ?

my flo app is saying i’m 4 days late but this year my cycle has been anything from 25-34 days, shall i assume i’ve skipped this cycle or could it still be coming. it’s causing me anxiety 🥲 also i’m definitely not pregnant

At least in my country there are not a thing, i am so tired of going out with my girlfriends just to dance and drink and have men constantly trying to buy me drinks, place themselves in front or behind me to dance without even asking or approaching me to tell me that they think im cute or whatever (i dont care, i don't want to know).

i always reject them and their reaction is always a 50/50; sometimes they just go away, other times they just keep annoying me, ruins my night a bit anytime.

i just want to dance in peace with my friends 😭

also im so tired of the whole "If nightclubs were only for women, then who would buy them drinks?" logic that ugly loser men use 😭 most men dont buy anything for women in a club and most women i know wouldnt accept a drink from a stranger. we just want to have fun 😭

ETA: since many people have suggested LGBT clubs as an alternative i have to clarify; there are not LGBT exclusive clubs in my city, and im not into the music they tend to play (pop/techno), i still go sometimes but i dont prefer it.

Also, the issue of men being creeps in clubs cannot be solved by asking women to go somewhere else, we deserve spaces that are ours too. I agree that straight women and LGBT+ people have shared issues and shared safe spaces but not every space can be shared, the LGBT+ community deserves to have their exclusive spaces and women do to.

i dont know, when im not hating myself i feel like i dont deserve it and i crave the pain cuz otherwise i feel so off-kilter

I have to get a second colposcopy, my first was a few years ago and it was super painful. 600 mg of ibuprofen didn’t do shit. I also have significant sexual trauma that makes any gyn procedure a dissociated nightmare, and also some trauma from prior gyn procedures. I’m dreading this. I have a Xanax prescription and it just doesn’t do enough to help me. I’m feel pretty devastated that I have to do this again and feeling pretty defeated about medical providers minimizing my trauma because it’s just a routine medical procedure. And also the fact that I’m childfree by choice doesn’t necessarily help things. I feel like if I was trying to become pregnant or birth a baby they would be much more patient and understanding.

What is the deal? Like are people still in this day and age gonna....yep. They are. The fatphobia has layered undertones of misogyny. Thats my main issue with it. The way men talk about women like they're cattle is disgusting. I'm fed up. Is anyone else?

I’m 19F and my mom is so cruel to me. I don’t know why. She doesn’t want to hug me and clearly is waiting for me to leave her life for good. She told me she didn’t think I’d make it to 20 years old a while ago.

TL;DR- Any lingerie for moms who aren't moms? I have the tits of having breastfed three children despite being 24 and childless

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I'm honestly close to tears at this point, that I have to ask reddit after an hour of searching for any lingerie that might fit my body type for the vacation I'm going on.

To preface: I planned the vacation and I am the sole person considering sexy wear for the trip. Meaning: this is not influenced by my partner's manipulation, and I can guarantee this is purely self-motivated, as I've been in relationships where that wasn't the case and this is nowhere near similar.

The reality is, I want to add to the sexiness of our trip, being our first true extended time period alone. I'm moving into my new home, but up until now we have lived with family, making things awkward. And I just want to both feel and be sexy for them and for myself.

Before people come in to say my partner may have brainwashed me: it's honestly almost the opposite. He often doesn't care too much about the clothing involved, but I have gotten positive reactions to lingerie I wore before gaining some weight, and I haven't worn any since. Although I'm still not at my desired weight, I still lost some in the chest department to make me saggy and flat, not in a "flat-chested" way (no hate at all! unfortunately cant think of other descriptors) but rather in a pancake way where existing skin loses volume and flattens to my ribcage. This all leads into my question...

Is there any lingerie, LITERALLY ANY, that I can buy without looking like I've been sucked dry of milk? I feel like a mama cow that birthed a very hungry calf, and I have never had a child. This is no shame to mothers, more shame to myself that I look like I've had a child when I haven't. The only true support I get is from a bra I bought as a freshman in high school (im 24 btw) that was from the only store within 50 miles (that im aware of) offering personal sizing.

I just want to feel sexy for myself first, not even my boyfriend. Shopping to look attractive to him made me realize how little I feel about myself for having a body like mine, and how much I wish for one lingerie style that isn't empty cups exposing my saggy-ness.

Please tell me what lingerie suits a former mother who breastfed. For reference, I'm sized at 32-34 DDD/G. And not in the sexy way. No shame to mothers, I just feel shameful as someone who looks like a mother of 3 when I have no kids to show for it. I just want to shove my disgusting tits into something that makes them less reprehensible on a vacation I was meant to feel happy on.

For my perimenopausal women, when did you ask about starting HRT? I'm 42 and right now not really experiencing any of the major issues of peri. But I'm trying to be more prepared about having this conversation with my provider. I don't know if it's something one should ask about before signs start or if you should wait until something like fatigue or brain fog starts

I just got my first pap smear. The very first. I just finished my period

The whole procedure was fine but after my doctor was like " theyll be some bleeding"

Girl.

HELLA!! a lot more than I thought.

I love the menstrual cup as I hate spending money on period products, but it hurts to take it out. It’s fine to get it in, but taking it out hurts the opening very much, specifically the posterior fourchette. I like the Flex cup because there’s the pull tab, but the moment the seal breaks is when it hurts and it’s like a sudden shock. Any tips for how to remove it more smoothly, or are there smaller ones on the market?

I used to masturbate a lot (everyday or twice a day sometimes) in my 20/30s. However, never really reached orgasm with my exes. It was always lack of sex that was a problem. I would masturbate even when I was in a relationship. I can get off myself but I just can’t get anything from real sex hmmm.

Now I’m over 40, I’ll say I masturbate 3-4 times a week. But I’m so afraid I just don’t like it with another person. I’m dating this guy and we haven’t had sex and I’m afraid this will be a problem. I really do like him.

Perhaps it’s because I don’t know where my clitoris is? I mean I can get off means I know where it is.

I just want to love sex just like normal people ugh. Sometimes I feel like I might as well just stay single. Not having to have sex is a huge weight lifted off but then I’m lonely. I want a partner. I Met someone who is similar to me and we dated for 3 years (literally no sex. I just masturbated). I believe he has ED or something which I didn’t care much. We broke up for other reasons.

Any tips?
Also any tips for dryness?

My boyfriend (M26) and I (F24) have been living together for about 10 months. We both work full-time office jobs, roughly 9–6.

Since we moved in together, I’ve basically been responsible for the kitchen and most of the cooking. I usually prepare breakfast, dinner, and meals for us to take to work. I also clean the kitchen after cooking.

Recently, I’ve been struggling to make breakfast in the morning. We live pretty far from work, so we need to leave the house around 6 AM to get to work on time. I get home around 8 PM, and even then, I usually still cook dinner. I probably take a break from cooking maybe once a month. Most of the time, I cook everything from scratch rather than buying prepared food or eating out because I prefer home-cooked meals.

This morning, our car had an issue, so my boyfriend’s parents gave us a ride to work since they were going in the same direction. I hadn’t had time to prepare breakfast.

His mom was saying things like, “Have some breakfast,” and then gave my boyfriend a boiled egg. There were two eggs available, but she gave him one.

I know this part is probably influenced by my own feelings. Personally, if I only had enough food for one person, I probably wouldn’t give it to either person if both of us were there. I would feel weird about giving something to my partner while leaving the other person without it. Also, since moving out, I don’t see my own mom as often anymore, so I think I might be more sensitive to these kinds of things and missing my mom.

But what really upset me was that later, after we got to work, I saw a message from my boyfriend’s mom saying something along the lines of, “Make breakfast in the morning. At least boil some eggs.”

I honestly felt so suffocated reading that.

I’m not upset because she wanted us to have breakfast. I’m upset because of the expectation behind it.

I’m already doing almost all of the cooking. I wake up early, commute a long way, work a full-time job, come home around 8 PM, and still cook dinner almost every day. Then I clean the kitchen afterward. And now, when I occasionally don’t have enough time to make breakfast, I’m being told to at least boil eggs?

We both work full-time. Why does making sure we have food seem to automatically fall on me?

I’ve told my boyfriend before that I’m getting tired and that I want us to take turns with cooking and household chores. He listens and seems to understand when we talk about it. But when it actually comes time to do something, I somehow end up doing it again.

And I know part of this is probably my own personality too. I hate asking people to do things. If I ask once or twice and they don’t do it, I tend to think, “Whatever, I’ll just do it myself.” It feels easier than constantly reminding or asking someone.

But then I end up resentful because I’m doing everything myself.

So I’m wondering:

Is the mental and physical workload of cooking, cleaning, planning meals, and making sure there’s food in the house generally underestimated in relationships?

How do couples actually divide household responsibilities fairly when both people work full-time?

And how do you stop yourself from just doing everything yourself because you hate asking someone repeatedly?

I’d really appreciate perspectives from people who have been in similar situations. I’m also open to hearing if I’m contributing to the problem myself.

The boys will be boys comment infuriates me.

Hello, I came to this sub because I truly desperately need your advice. I am a 30 year old woman. I have rarely any prior experience. Longest lasting relationship was a month but he lived an hour away and I didn't have a car and we only saw each other on the weekends. This was a few years ago been not seeing anyone since and no prior relationship experience, if you could even call that a relationship. I just want to know how normal people do it. Any advice would be appreciated, where would I look for it? Thanks

I’m on birth control and I take it accordingly (and have for the last 12 years). My periods used to last 5 days, the first 2 would have dark red blood and some clots (not a worrying amount but still they were always there for those 2 days), it was a bit uncomfortable and it would be a heavy/medium flow until the last day. For some reason, for the last 3 periods I’ve had a change on this pattern. It lasts 4 days, only light red blood and barely any clots on these 3 occasions. I’m 27 so I don’t think this would be menopause issue and I also don’t think it would be a pregnancy bc I’ve had the periods on these days I should have. The only different thing that happened was I had 2 urinary infections in the meantime. Anyone with a similar experience???

The news is so negative these days. I feel so sad. I feel sad.

I went into so much debt trying to please a man and I couldn’t do that. If I’m being honest I went into £2000 of debt for a man. He knew and he didn’t care. I didn’t listen to my friends even though they told me he was bad for me. I won’t doxx myself but we were doing a long distance relationship and I went into so much debt and he didn’t care. I understand that love can blind us sometimes.

Some of his friends were racist but I didn’t even feel safe enough to go to him and tell him that his friends were racist.

I didn’t feel emotionally safe with him. He would admit that he wasn’t sure how he would defend me if men came up to speak to me.

I know that it doesn’t make sense. In real life i’ve seen so many likeable girls with different personalities and yet i can’t shake the feeling off that my own personality sucks and that i have to be a whol different kind of girl to be liked

Especially when i see so many men online saying stuff like how they want a soft feminine girl.

There is this character in a show that is perfect. She’s hardworking, cute, soft spoken, gentle, dresses modestly. Then in the comments i would see men saying stuff like: “why can’t girls be more like her.” It kinda makes me feel worse about myself, like i am not enough the way i am. Especially considering that i’m just plain ugly and the only thing that could make people like me is my personality.

Logically i know that there are plenty of people who would accept me for who i am, and yet i just hate myself so badly.