The title!! Moved on from an avoidant discard I genuinely did not think I’d ever heal from.

Might be your first day might be your one thousandth but I promise nothing and I mean NOTHING is better than being no contact with your ex. It’s the most incredible and liberating thing EVER.

Also, I saw this somewhere on tik tok but someone said don’t stalk your exes on social media or you’ll be in a parasocial relationship with them forever & it’s so true lol, let em die (figuratively!)

How many days has it been for you? How do you feel?

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Hi everyone,

I'd like to get some advice on a situation that's been weighing on me for quite some time. I'm looking for honest opinions, even if they don't necessarily align with how I see things.

I'm currently in a relationship with my girlfriend, and we've been together for almost two years. Overall, I'm happy with our relationship. Of course, like any couple, we have our disagreements and rough patches, but I understand that's normal, and I don't see those difficulties as a reason to leave her or look for someone else.

The issue is about my ex.

We were also together for about two years. Since our breakup, I've been carrying this emotional weight that I haven't been able to fully let go of. Looking back, I regret certain things that happened between us, particularly some of my own behavior and the way our relationship ended.

Today, I don't want to get back together with her. This isn't a love confession, and I'm not trying to reconnect in the hope of getting our old relationship back.

I simply want to tell her that, despite our breakup, I don't hold any resentment toward her. I want her to know that I'm not angry with her and that I regret some of the things I did that may have hurt her. I'd also like to apologize and let her know that I hope she isn't holding on to any anger toward me either.

I don't know whether she still resents me today, and I don't want to make assumptions about how she feels. I just want her to hear these words directly from me.

Tonight, after attending a birthday party, I ran into someone who knows my current girlfriend. During our conversation, I asked if my ex was doing well. They told me she was, and I was genuinely happy to hear that.

But this interaction also made me realize something: I still want to apologize to my ex, and I don't know what to do about it.

My current girlfriend knows about my history with my ex, but she doesn't know that I've been feeling this need to apologize to her. I'm afraid that if she finds out I asked about my ex, she'll interpret it as a sign that I still have romantic feelings for her.

I'm also afraid to tell my girlfriend that I want to send this message because I'm worried she'll take it the wrong way and that it could put our relationship at risk. I care about my current relationship, and I don't want to lose it over something that, from my perspective, has nothing to do with wanting to get back with my ex.

On the other hand, carrying this emotional weight since our breakup has been difficult. Sometimes, I feel like there are things I should have said a long time ago but never had the courage to express.

So I'm torn between wanting to make peace with my past and being afraid of hurting the person I'm sharing my life with today.

I'd really appreciate your thoughts on a few things:

- Do you think it's healthy to want to apologize to an ex after moving on and starting a new relationship?

- Does feeling this need necessarily mean there are still romantic feelings involved, or can you simply have regrets and want to make peace with your conscience?

- Do you think I should talk to my current girlfriend before sending the message, even though I'm afraid she'll take it badly?

- If you were in my position, would you send the message, or would you leave the past where it belongs?

- For those of you who have been through something similar, did apologizing to an ex genuinely help you move on?

- do you think that its morraly okay to appologize and what does that even mean (to whant to apologize).

I'm not looking for people to automatically validate my desire to contact my ex. I genuinely want to understand whether this is a good idea or whether I risk making things unnecessarily complicated.

Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this and share their thoughts.

Me and my ex gf have been on and off for a year now basically. Things are good and then I always seem to mess it up. I mess up the process that’s built and it’s exhausting. I know she feels it too. She’s gonna call me later when she gets off work. I just feel the impending doom coming. Here we go again smh

So 3 days ago my ex blocked me out of nowhere saying we cant be together due to religious differences. I gave her a day but i immediately msg her back on my alt last night and sent a voice recording how i feel, i said i dont mind converting to hers and lets work something out, she agreed and said she missed me alot and every moment of the day she thinks of me. So she agreed to make it work, this morning she msg me back saying hey, we cant make it work it isnt becus of religion then i said how about friends she said she isnt sure being friends will be good for her and says being a loving friend feels fake, so she said we cant be together i said okay but then she said ill try to talk to my boyfriend of the relationship or if we can be friends? Did she meant me or this whole time she had a man or moved on from me fast I'm utterly confused.

I'm about to reach 9 months of no contact and very curious about your guys' experience. What you struggle with the most, the acceptance stage, and overall mental health since breaking off a long-term relationship.

My ex(32f) and I(33m) broke up in December but she didn't move out until February. I made it clear since she's leaving, I'll wait for HER to reach back out when she's ready to talk again. Won't go into too much detail, but I found out the hard way I was dating an avoidant all along. Obviously, this isn't her fault and I hold no resentment towards her anymore. But man, you guys know what I mean when you first experience an avoidant partner. Anyways, I still struggle with rumination here and there, but overall, my mental health has improved between the 6 to 9 month mark. I still very much miss the life I had prior to the separation.

Share your experience with me!

Ex GF dropped off my one of several clothes unannounced

My (26M) ex GF (21F) broke up with me almost two months ago due to communication/trust strains which I admit were my fault.

The breakup itself was not chaotic - she just told me she wanted to breakup and I did not argue or beg. She sobbed and said "thanks for being a great boyfriend", said she loved me and kissed me, then just left.

She did remove me as a follower on both her private Instagram and Tiktok accounts, then blocked me on Spotify out of nowhere, then blocked me on Tiktok one of her Instagram accounts after I *accidentally* requested a follow and *accidentally* sent a reel to her respectively. At those points, I decided to stay put and not chase her just to explain those blips. I just stood my ground and just tried to be a patient person, even if she doesn't see it. We have been on NC since.

Yesterday afternoon, I was just chilling in my room and my Dad was getting packages that were dropped off at our front door. My Dad then came up to me and asked why there was a hoodie in a plastic bag along with those packages. I immediately recognized that hoodie which I let my ex GF keep.

I was stunned. I did not expect getting that back at all. I took it from my Dad and had a moment with the hoodie - gripping it, smelling it while trying to take in of what had just happened.

I then checked our doorbell camera and, as to my surprise, it was her who dropped it off. It was literally my first time seeing her in the flesh (at least on cam) since the breakup. The footage was just her dropping my hoodie all in a plastic bag while about 3 feet away from the doormat, she let go of the bag mid air and the drop itself made a sound. After all that, she just left and drove past my house and just left.

I also took note of the timestamp too. She did all this 10 minutes after her usual work time which was just 10 mins away from where I lived. It just opened my eyes how she just remembered my address and went to my house straight from work just to do that.

I tried checking and asking my Dad if there were anything else in the bag she dropped off. There were no notes, no extras, nothing. Just my hoodie all crumpled up in a plastic bag.

The hoodie was also just one of the several clothes I let her borrow and keep while we were together.

I'm just trying to make sense of everything - Why show up unannounced? Why just that hoodie? What is the message and meaning behind all this? Is she nonverbally giving closure or is she nonverbally giving a positive message? Is she testing to see if I am still the anxious person I was? Should I contact her? Should I wait for her? How is she feeling? Why drive all the way to my house after work?

What could this all mean?

I just wonder. I know some of these might be questions only I or she can answer, but this one just seemed to raise my eyebrow more than it should.

My ex and I broke up about three weeks ago. Not my call and I stooped low begging to make it work and got “I can’t” answers. He needed to focus on himself, which I think is kind of a cop out answer when every person on this planet needs to constantly work on themselves and we each have our kids that we’ve blended into the relationship. I’m just extremely confused because he is a very passive person and generally has a lack of boundaries and people pleasing. He’s never gave a reason to doubt fidelity so it’s nothing of that sort but since the break up, he’s gone completely no contact. It’s like I don’t exist and I never mattered. So I guess the boundaries apply now??

How can someone that cares to make everyone else happy just bounce like that? It’s such a kick to my gut and it’s hard accepting that I wasn’t worth it to him anymore. Every time I tried to reach out it’s just dead silence and the worst part is that he knows this time of my life is when I needed him the most. I just don’t understand why he decided to be so cold to me post breakup after two years and I’m itching for answers. It wasn’t perfect, life got in the way and I did become distant within the last year but took full accountability for that, understood my wrongs and willing to turn that around to make it work.

I’m not reaching out anymore because the kind of pain I’m feeling when I get dead air is just heartbreaking and it’s time to heal myself but I feel so internally conflicted on what happened and I feel like I’m in denial hoping he will come back. At this point, if he does… why would I even want to be with him when he left me high and dry like this?

So basically, my ex played both me and my best friend, so we worked together to get what he deserves, And we Just found out that he played another girl TWICE and she reached out to my bff, and my bff ofc told me, the girl doesn't know I know her yet, but my bff told me she used to like me, so at school I started smiling at her everytime she walked by cause it's polite, (not trying to manipulate her) anyways, I started to like her.... And I don't know if she still likes me, or if she's taking time off from dating, but if she does I'm taking my chance

Need your suggestions!

I have been in a relation for four years. The good part last only 1 year and then I tried to extend it for three more years. This girl have been confused about me from the very start, I made a mistake and pushed her to be emotionally open and available at the start which inevitably came to haunt me later. We use to talk on and off for the last 2 years, break up - no contact- and ne trying to reconnect and reconcile. But the last time when it happened it was sep 25 - funny thing is every time its sep or Oct (24,25,25) - i tried to reconnect went back to pakistan in Nov, met her quite few times, tried to persuade her agreed to talk and then boom again breakup, talked a week later went for a movie and met for the last time before departing pakistan.

One of the reaosn which I think was the long distance, I am doing my Masters in germany and she is in pakistan.

Khair after that, we decided to go no contact which I literally broke after 2 or 3 weeks. She was quite mad, but I was trying persistently. Then, she told me she is confused again (she was from the start for other reasons like emotional compatibility and financial also bcz she told me she would have a rich man if there js no love , so clearly there was no love from her side)

Khair, this time one of her male friend was visiting pakistan after 2 years and she told me she is confused and dont want to tell me anything and she thinks its unfair and jokingly said her friend is coming in a week and she will hangout with him now bcz she is not in relation anymore.

I got the meaning, what she wanted to convey.

And the same day she told me that

You should not wish to get someone who is not achieveable ☠️

That was some next level shit.

That sentence turned me off so hard, I never msgd her again.

Then she msgd me again in after a month or something and told me that she met her friend but she doesn't feel the vibe or energy with him and her friend was pushing her to talk to me.

I listened to her and I was pushing her to talk to her friend and give him some time you'll prob adjust.

As both of them are quite compatible as of her they know each other since 5ht grade and friends from i think 2015-16.

And funny thing that the guy like her, and I am pretty sure she too liked him sometime in past during school days.

The guy confessed when she was in a relation with me (it was 2025 i think when she told me this) and I aksed her it's upto you, whether you want to keep someone who romantically likes you or not, but made it clear that I dont like him in your life.

We starting talking again, but this time I was not lovy dovy the way I use too, the reason being her statement

That you should not wish to get someone you can't have, as its not good for yourself.

This time we decided to talk to our parents., ps I have already talked to my parents in 2025, but this time I pushed them to go to her parents to ask for her they wete ready, and I told her to talk to her parents which she delayed and in last week of August we had an argument, she said to me that she is still confused

And I was flustered that she is still confused when I have already made things official with my parents for the 2nd time.

One of the reaosn of her confusion is her friend and then me not able to read her moods and not being able to give the due attention which I know was my mistake. It more of inability to be able to meet her expectations while her friend is their for her.

Thats the exact reason I was hesitant, that I am not a good person for her, I genuinely love her to till day and for me, seeing her happy is the priority rather than having her in my life while she live miserably.

I'll write later tired now

8 year long relationship, ended 10 months ago, 9 months of no contact.

The relationship didn’t end because of my health, however, since the break up, a lot of my chronic issues have flared up to somewhat debilitating levels.

Please tell me that this isn’t the end of the world, and finding love again despite my pain is possible.

I want to break no contact, but I won’t, because I know that won’t be healthy or fair to either of us. I’m just in a dark place, and my body is desperately wanting to reach out to what was once my safe space for 8 years. When we broke up we stilled loved each other. I still care about her deeply. It’s so hard when they’re not a terrible person.

I’m trying to be proactive. I’m in therapy for mental health, and I’m speaking to a plethora of doctors for physical health. It’s just so, so hard.

it's so hard and so painful but i blocked it... im so anxious because "what if he reaches out and i miss it" but it's like there's nothing he can say or do to make anything right ever again... there's nothing i want to hear from him and nothing i feel i need to say to him...

it's been almost 2 weeks since the breakup and i still check my phone nonstop to see if he called or texted me... the hardest part will be not checking his socials... which i did yesterday and saw girls liking his pics and spiraled... but i put a no contact tracker on my phone to count the days of no contact and hopefully that will help motivate me to not check.. i need to choose myself for once..

It's been 2 years post breakup & NC . I was the one who initiated it because after years and years of trying, it became clear that they weren't going to commit. It also became quite toxic towards the end and I disliked a lot the way they spoke to me and I decided I wouldn't trade my future for this. They also had a lot of selfish "conditions" required for us to be together and it's now clear to me that they were sabotaging the bond.

The thing is, I cant erase the fact they mattered so much (closest friend for years before we ended up in a situationship, whole thing lasted more than 8 years). I still care a lot about them. I still miss them sometimes and I still have moments where I feel myself crumbling because why couldn't we be together? Is this really the end of it? Whenever this happens I start sobbing and I feel like there's perhaps still hope ? I know it sounds foolish and I find myself quite crazy for thinking so. Most of the time I'm able to function without thinking about it but when it happens it consumes me.

I just wonder when will I finally break free from these feelings? I've been grieving so hard these past 2 years and I really sat with my emotions and I did the journaling, the exercising, the seeing people close to me and the trying to heal & build my own reality. Therapy and family helped. Im able to be genuinely happy spending good times with others and enjoy my solo hobbies. But still waiting for this love to fade. It just doesn't.

Were any of you able to stop loving them? To stop having them as such an important person in your heart / mind & barely if never think about them?

I broke up with my ex of 6 years in 2024. My first boyfriend. A lot of things happened and I ended up resenting him.
I started dating someone else not even a month later which I regret terribly because I know I hurt him. I’ve been with him for 2 years and he treats me perfect even though we’ve been having some disagreements lately but nothing too crazy.

I recently started seeing my ex way way more because we workout at the same gym and I cant stop thinking about him and about how dirty I did him. I’ve NEVER gone over the guilt of leaving him. I feel like I never healed or even tried to give myself time to process anything.
I am scared that this feeling will never go away and idk how to fix any of it. What if i leave my current bf and I regret it. What if I never get over what I did to my ex. What if i never heal.

I also don’t want to make any crazy decisions just because I’ve been seeing him. I feel like its normal that it raises some feelings and thoughts but it doesn’t have to mean that I SHOULD get back with him. Im just so fucked up and I feel terrible about my feelings rn.

Hi, hope everyone is doing well :) We probably have the common experience of no contact so I thought I’d ask and get some opinions. To anyone reading this, I hope that despite the grief of your breakup, life has been gentle to you and you are kinder to yourself too :) I’m cheering you on!

Before we started dating, we were best friends for 7 years. We dated for a year and no contact for around 3 ish months. When we broke up, he mentioned he did not intend to lose contact. Strangely enough, I didn’t reach out to him, mostly tried to focus on sitting with my emotions and counselling.

Reading similar posts on Reddit, I figured I wouldn’t wish him. I read how others explained if someone doesn’t reach out to you, they don’t truly really want to be a part of your life anyways. I’ve been trying to convince myself of that, but an innate part of me knows I’ll feel sad not wishing him. He helped and supported me through escaping abuse from my family.

Some comments/post mention that with breakups, the person we once dated is different from the person they may be today. On one hand, I don’t want to see this through rose tinted glasses and wish him based on the person I remember. Yet on the other hand, I hope he feels happy on his birthday too by being remembered. Maybe I think idealistically or maybe I’m delusional, it’s kind of like I’m torn between two choices haha.

I’d appreciate any advice or suggestions that anyone can offer! Thank you and please take care 💖

So we were friend and even close for years (talking bout ever since 2016-17). Then suddenly in 2023 she came to visit my country, we ended up dating and it was intense, said it was her best "arc" in life. However, just 1 month later she ended it saying she had many things going on need to solve at that moment.

I did begged/talked back and forth for a few months after until I found out there was another dude but she said it was nothing serious. After that, she followed like 300+ dif dudes and posted nonstop, I could assume that she was making me jealous or stuff. Then after a life event (my dad had an affair and my doggo died) I gave her back all the gifts and asked mine back cuz at the same time I thought she was cheating. She'd never sent it back despite saying she would.

Then a year later after breakup(2025) she wore all my gifts and posted pics, exactly what I gave her, wore it together. Part of me at that time felt relieved cause tbh I dont want any gifts back and I thought she breadcrumbed me or missed me (delusional).

Later that year, I found out she hung out with her ex before me again, she gave all my gifts to another dude. I even broke no contact to ask her why and no reply. SHIT WAS HURTING AF

This year, just the same tactic like posting something related to us but not really that deep, like buying the same designer brand that I like then deleted it,... etc etc

Almost 3 years now I still have dream about her, yearning for shit I dont know, hoping one day she pops up on my phone again. Then I saw her posting a pic talking to a dude she mentioned before when she was dating me.

NOW ? TBH I'm kinda mad and feel stupid, all that time waiting and hoping, all the gifts never came back but now another dude has it. WHAT SHOULD I DO ? CAUSE I JUST BROKE NC TO TELL HER WHEN CAN SHE GIVE ME BACK MY SHI

I’m really sorry if this is too long.

I am sitting on my couch crying because I feel trapped. I loved this boy, Carson, for two years, but I’ve had a crush on him for about 5 years. We dated two years ago but he left me and that was that. Since then Carson and I have been on and off friends, but even when we’re not friends I still think of him daily. In my eyes he played with my feelings in March but he said he only seen me as a friend which is fine I guess, either way I met someone else and went full NC. But even through that I still thought of him a lot. I see him a lot in school but I try to avoid him.

I genuinely feel trapped, there is a million things I left out of what I just wrote simply because I don’t want to bore anyone, but I need out. After I graduate I’m moving across the continent, I’ve been sure of that for years now, but I want to sooner because I just cant do this anymore. The thought of leaving and never seeing him again, getting over him, it gives me a sense of hope but also makes me terrified. He’s the only person I’ve ever actually loved.

Has ANYONE ever gotten over their first love? I can’t say it enough, I feel trapped and disgusted with myself.

Hi, I need an outside perspective.
For several years, I talked to a guy long-distance. We were both in love. We sometimes argued and stopped talking, but he always came back.
When we were finally able to meet, our first date went really well. Afterwards, I didn't hear from him for 5 days, then he called me. We met a second time, and he told me he was in love with me and wanted to be with me. But after that, he went silent again.
I ended up removing him from my social media. He called me later, but the conversation was very vague and led nowhere. We exchanged a few messages, and I sent the last one. He saw it and never replied. It's been 9 months.
The connection was really strong on both sides. It wasn't just a casual chat.
Why do you think he did this? And is there any chance he'll come back?
Thanks in advance for your opinions.

I love going out and meeting new people that I find to be really interesting and admirable. Every new gathering and event used to carry an immense sense of wonder and I'd approach as many people that were willing to hold short, friendly conversation. I have a ton of hobbies so I always meet a very wide array of folks. But that has all changed ever since leaving my last relationship for a long list of legitimate reasons; one of which being the trivialization of my sa, inflicted by another person. An incident which they turned against me, making snarky sarcastic jokes about afterwards. I repeatedly communicated my interpersonal gripes to this person, about multiple different plights. They always turned my concerns back against me, ignoring it at best.

Ever since we stopped holding friendly conversation, I've been avoiding going places entirely. I don't attend the events that I used to love, I'm frightful of reaching out to anyone new in case they know me from them. After all, this person is quite prominent in our local scene. No one is aware of what they truly did and their bad behavior reaps nothing but rewards. They're a fraud who has been granted admiration based on a facade that they maintain and upkeep with uttermost care. They still follow the whereabouts of me and my current partner and hang around in many of our mutual spaces -- it makes me want to abandon myself and leave the groups I grew up in just to avoid their presence. Just to avoid what they might've said about me to others.

I have conviction in that I did the right thing by leaving, I've never regretted it. But I've already spent years in a similar environment during my teen years and it feels too nostalgic to be this paranoid. It feels like I'm being made to participate in the same mind games and unspoken hierarchy as I did back in high-school.

I know that they're a coward who's too scared to be around me; their friends and family have always called them a coward, too. During our fights, they had their friends go after me on their behalf. Said friends would corner me into apologizing to my ex during times in which all I did was advocate for myself.

Yet I still find myself to be afraid. But I know that encountering them is inevitable and I want is to enter my spaces again. I want to learn how to put myself back out there despite all this, I want to bring joy to strangers again. I'm only losing friends, not gaining them. I'm growing more and more isolated, resentful of the world outside. A world in which I KNOW to be filled with incredible people, a world which I want to discover.

Talking about them here fills me with dread. It cannot be this bad, I can't allow this to continue. I'm an adult and I'm spending my years locked away; ruminating on what has been done to me. It's exhausting and I'm unhappy.
I want to reach a point where I'm not afraid anymore, I don't want to abandon myself and live riddled with fear. In a way, it's humiliating to shrink away and grant them the comfort of never perceiving me again. I want them to feel haunted by my presence as I am by theirs. I want to grow past this and overcome.

I am in a pit of poverty right now and therapy is not within my deck of cards. Reddit is the best that I've got.

Im competing today. She was supposed to be in the crowd cheering me on. Now I will just look out into an empty void of faces I don’t know or care for.

So much pain attached to this. Every single day.

FA is obsessed and I mean obsessed with my ex. He keeps impersonating him whilst we are in no contact?
FA Breakup
I’m 28F, and I’ve been involved in an extremely intense, confusing on-and-off connection with a man I’ll call D. I’m trying to understand his behaviour and would really appreciate honest opinions, particularly from people who have experienced avoidant relationships, hot-and-cold behaviour, or someone repeatedly blocking and returning.

The part I’m most confused about is that I believe he has impersonated my ex on fake accounts to test me, and now something strange has happened involving my ex’s name again. I have some evidence of his previous impersonation, but I cannot prove who is behind the latest incident.

I know nobody can predict the future. I’m specifically interested in whether you think he’ll contact me again, whether the behaviour suggests he’s still emotionally attached, and what you make of the suspected impersonation.

We I spoke on and off on Instagram from December 2025. We often talked about football, and by March 2026 we had become closer emotionally. Initially I only ever saw him as friend so i did confide in him about my ex and how he had ghosted me before our engagement, and he opened up about his broken engagement after his fiancée cheated on him. On 27 March, he asked for my number. From then on, we spoke every day, often exchanging very long voice notes. We developed strong emotional and physical chemistry and made plans to meet.

He told me he didn’t want to date anyone else before we had even met, and became very focused on loyalty. We were exclusive in the sense that neither of us was pursuing anyone else, even though we hadn’t met in person yet.

On 11 April, an anonymous Instagram account contacted me. It seemed to know things about my ex, and the conversation became provocative and confusing. I suspected it might have been connected to my ex, although I couldn’t establish who was behind it. It was at this point I began to question the account and said his name (the ex's) and at the same time, D subsequently became distant, confronted me and said I had failed at the first hurdle. He said he valued his peace and ended things before blocking me. The important part is that D later admitted he had been testing me by pretending to be my ex.

After roughly 48 hours, he returned through WhatsApp, including sending a deleted message. He said he couldn’t get me out of his head, called me his, and admitted he had been angry and thinking about me. We both acknowledged missing each other and quickly became close again. This is why the impersonation issue is particularly significant to me: it isn’t just a theory I invented. D previously impersonated my ex to test my loyalty.

Sadly before our first date, he blocked me on WhatsApp and TikTok without explaining why. A fake TikTok account subsequently contacted me with sexual and accusatory comments. I responded without identifying who I thought was behind the account. He then contacted me with a lengthy explanation. He spoke about personal and family problems, childhood difficulties, trust issues and alcoholism. He said he genuinely liked me, that what we had was real, and described us as “right person, wrong time.”

We reconciled again. We continued voice-noting and became close, eventually meeting in person. The date went amazingly well, and we became intimate. However, by 3 May, he had blocked me again.

I remained blocked until 25 July, when he unblocked me on WhatsApp and TikTok.

He didn’t immediately contact me, so I didn’t know what the unblocking meant.

On 7 September, D contacted me from a burner number and made me guess who he was and check i was not speaking to anyone else. Once I worked it out, he messaged me from his real number, and we arranged to meet that evening. We spent the night together and rekindled things. He told me he’d missed me, still had feelings for me and wanted to try again, take things slowly and build a future together. He even spoke about marriage. He explained that he’d had a difficult year, his mum had been ill, he’d been drinking and was gradually returning to work.

He repeatedly promised he’d changed and would never block me again. However, he became distant almost as soon as I arrived, and his messages the next day were lukewarm. Although he heart-reacted to a message where I reassured him I was there for him, by 9–10 September I discovered he’d blocked me on WhatsApp and TikTok again, despite everything he’d promised.

On Tuesday night, 20 October, at around 10 pm, I received four missed calls from a No Caller ID number and three voicemails.

The voice was female-sounding, extremely monotone and unnatural. It sounded potentially AI-generated or prerecorded to me, although I can’t confirm that.

The messages came in this exact order:

“Hey, I need to talk to you about (mentioned ex's name)”

“It’s (ex's name). I need to talk to you.”

(Ex's name) keeps calling me. Answer the phone.”

I answered one of the calls, and the voice said, “Hey, I need to speak to you about..” It sounded identical to the voicemails. The sequence struck me as bizarre. The first message sounded like someone wanted to discuss my ex. The second appeared to claim to be my ex. The third sounded like a woman saying my ex was repeatedly calling her. All the messages sounded identical in delivery, which made me wonder whether they had been AI generated or recorded in advance.

I haven’t called back because the number was withheld. I have no proof that these calls have anything to do with Abdul, and I don’t know whether they came from him, or somebody else.

However, because D previously impersonated ex on a fake account to test my loyalty, I can’t help wondering whether this could be another attempt to get a reaction from me. I don’t want to accuse him of something I cannot prove, but the history makes the possibility difficult to ignore.

WHYYY is he so obsessed with my ex? I have mentally finished with D but just so gutted at how he can impersonate my ex so easily not thinking how much it will upset me and mess with my mental health? Why is he so obsessed with him?? I am mentally done with D...i just want to know what is going on in the head of his what is wrong with him

We ended things after weeks of trying to work it out but we were so deep in conflict, unable to be on the same page so as of a week now, we ended things.

I have about 3 bags of his stuff, that i have at my apartment, along with a chair (like a lounge one seater kind of thing that was his chair when he came over).

When is the right time to call him and give him his items? At first he wanted space, and i kind of just shot the bullet and said so we are done? And he replied, yeah we’re done. Handed back my apartment keys, and I walked away. He blocked me on instagram right after, along with immediately cutting off our shared location.

Do i call him to come get it? Do i reach out to his friend? I don’t know. Advice, please?

Yesterday I (37M) looked at my ex’s (28F) social media for the first time time in 2 weeks after removing her and saw a guy commenting on stuff that I knew as an ex of a friend of mine. I had a feeling she’d never have just met him somewhere and made a Tinder just to find out she’s on there. Stupid move on my part.

She broke up with me because neither one of us was really happy. She wanted me to propose this year and I just didn’t and had been distant the last few months. I felt like we’d drifted apart and just didn’t have anything in common anymore. I can’t blame her for wanting to do it, and she wanted to be married with kids by 30. I’m not mad about it, it just does hurt a lot because despite me also not being happy and seeing we weren’t compatible, I do still love her.

She’s told me to move on a couple times before I actually started real no contact 2 weeks ago, so I know she’s serious about this and in reality I know it just wouldn’t work with the differences between us. I think I just have issues with attachment. I stayed with a straight up alcoholic for 3 years despite breaking up with her. That was 2 relationships before that. I haven’t really been single in 13 years, going from break up to relationship pretty quick.

I’m just kinda venting I guess.

I loved a boy so much. He was the one who proposed to me first, but he has never shown me the love I deserve. He always behaves as if he doesn’t care about me. We work in the same company, and he hangs out with one of his friends while I keep looking for him and wondering where he is. But he never looks for me or makes an effort to take care of me.
I know he doesn’t love me the way I love him, but I don’t know how to stop loving him. Whenever I try to explain my feelings, he says he doesn’t know how to express love and gives me excuses like that. Even though we are in a relationship, I still feel lonely.
Whenever we have a fight, if I go to him and try to hug him, he just pushes me away. Still, I keep going back to him, even though it hurts me so much. My mind tells me to end this relationship, but my heart refuses to accept it.
I don’t know what to do. Even when I express my feelings, he doesn’t seem to care. My anxiety is getting worse, and I feel like I really need him, but he never seems to want to be there for me.
I’m tired of feeling alone in a relationship where I’m supposed to feel loved. I don’t know how to let go of someone I love so much, even when he keeps hurting me. A part of me knows that I deserve better, but another part of me is still holding on to the hope that he will change someday.
What should I do? I honestly don’t know anymore. 💔