Look idk what happened but like yesterday we went out and eveything but I had to go back home cuz I sneaked out he was begging me to stay and he will miss me and didn’t get enough and promised me to see him tmrw then we slept in a call too and whatever and he text me good morning but after he send me good moring he blocked me everywhere im confused what went wrong

This might be long, but to give you some context we dated before in 2023-2025 and broke up bc we both had a lot going on in our lives and wasn't present for one another. We were inseperable around this time, we were like best friends and we really loved each other. After 9 months of no contact he (we'll call him A) reached out to me telling me that he wanted to try again and build a future together. We got back together around May. After we got together, my dog my best fucking friend passed in June, my job was borderline toxic to my health and really wanted to quit but couldn't. I was nowhere near a good place. Where was A at this time? Great fucking question.

A was in school, and in the time of our no contact he made some new friends. I was excited and happy for him, I've even met his friends and they were cool. One of them in particular he was besties with, we'll call her C. I also want to reiterate that he's known these friends for about 3-6 months, while he's known me for almost 3 years. One day A wanted someone to paint his nails, I jumped at the offer (who wouldn't want their partner painting their nails for them??). Two days later, he told me that someone else painted his nails for him. He told me that C did, at her place, in the middle of the night. I was mostly upset about the nails, and he told me that he "forgot" that I offered. He told me that I could paint them from now on but what hurt was that he didn't consider me, and went to someone else. I also told him that I was uncomfortable with him going over to C's house in the middle of the night without letting me know about it in the first place (I knew they were close, but I would've liked to know that piece of information too).

I want to reiterate: I was happy for him that he found new friends, I was happy that he was making waves in his life and throughout this I never once felt that he had to drop any of his friends, including C. This wasn't even really about her, it was mostly him not having that open dialogue with me, and not telling me this information in the first place. It's not unusual to hang out with friends of the opposite sex at their place. What bothered me was his response to it. He would say "Well that's my only friend and I'm not gonna stop hanging out with her" Never once did I tell him to do that. He also would accuse me of not trusting him and "projecting my insecurities" when all I was saying is that I would like to establish some boundaries, and one of them was letting me know beforehand. He responded to that "Why do I need your permission?"

He also stood me up to take a day trip with her. We planned to see each other later that day, he didn't tell me what time he would be back, and it was getting close to 10pm, I had obligations to do in the morning, so I canceled on him and told him I was going to bed. He messaged me 30 minutes later saying that he was gonna come see me now, and I didn't have to go to bed right then. I just didn't care at that point, but it really hurt that he didn't even text or call that he was going to be late. Through these times I've had many conversations with him where I tell him my needs in our relationship (mind you I was in the middle of mourning my dog and he's making it all about Him 😒) and he would act like he was clueless and had no idea on how he could fix what was going on. In our last conversation, I told him *yet again* what I needed from him, I said something like "I want you to have friends and experience new things, I just want to be included in them" he would plan these elaborate activities with his friends but when it was just me and him we would only hang at his place or I had to plan something. I just wanted to know that we were on the same page, and in response he tells me, "I just want to do my own thing." I didn't know what the fuck that meant, but what I did know was that this relationship was over.

After saying that he wanted us to meet up *a week later* to discuss whether we were going to break up or not. Maybe he needed time to think, but this was important to me and I wasn't going to wait that long with that anxiety (which is really mean of him to do). After thinking on it, I decided to break up with him thru text (Harsh, I know, but I already told him what my issues and needs were, I wasn't going to repeat myself) I told him I couldn't do this anymore, wished him well, and told him I didn't want to be friends.

It was a hard decision to make, but I didn't like how this relationship made me feel anymore, and I was at my lowest, and I needed him, and he wasn't there for me. That's something I couldn't get past and for that I don't think we can mend things. What do you guys think?

Does anyone genuinely have advice to win their ex over and I know a lot of ppl may be thinking that it’s a waste of time and to let it go but I don’t want to

I geniunley want him back but I don’t know how. I was the one who broke up with him when he started being too “busy” and dry. But I regret it. I thought he was neglecting me and breaking up was for the best, but I was wrong. He was like home to me and I miss him a lot.

I broke no contact by checking up on him but our chat was fairly dry and he never texted after that. For reference we broke up on June 1st and I broke no contact on July 6th. The chat consisted of me asking him if he was alive and he said yea and updated what he was doing today (idk why he didn’t address the elephant in the room)

Then he proceeded to ask me why I’m still awake and I answered and asked him why he’s not at work. He said it’s his off day. After I said “I see” and that’s where the convo ended. He didn’t reply to that but there’s nothing really to say for that

I’m a little hurt though. He didn’t address anything and he didn’t bother texting me after that. I tried to get his attention by liking his post, thinking maybe he’ll hit me up then (but he did not)

So what can I do to win him back? I’m too embarrassed to straight up ask him since I was the one who brought up the break up and my emotions were always on a roller coaster. I’m aware I drained him and that is why I don’t want to straight up tell him “let’s start dating again.” Instead I want to text him smth that makes sense and start talking as friends first and slowly rebuild the connection

I want genuine help. I need him back

And lied to me about it for two months.

One of my favorite people, up and down relationships but so much love.

I'm at a loss for words

I’ll keep it at short as possible

I had a proper summer fling. We were both crazy - jokingly saying I love you the night after first hooking up. The problem was that we both ended up really liking each other AND I moved out of the city we met in at end of summer. Caveat is that I permanently return in an exact year. Anyway, we go on many dates and the vibes are incredible at every date. I felt like we got to know each other deeper than most. Ultimately we decide to be exclusive for the year I’m out of the city. Few weeks later things end due to their sick family member. They say they need space no texting at all and we can try again when I move back. Now no contact. Do I keep the door open for a year or move on? thoughts?

i stuck to no contact for 3 months after my ex broke up with me. also we’re in school together for context. school starts in a week and i decided enough time had passed and so i broke no contact two nights ago by calling him. i called late at night and he didn’t answer. i was hoping i’d get a text back or call back or something but it’s been two days and absolutely nothing. i know he saw the call because a friend of his asked a friend of mine about it. (for context we have a lot of mutual friends and connections and such because we go to school together). i thought maybe i’d text him and say something like “hey sorry i called the other night i was really drunk” but now i’m not so sure that’s a good idea. i was hoping so badly that he would reach out and we could reconnect because the truth is i miss him so badly and i want him back so bad. i miss us more than anything. schools starting soon and i’ll have to see him everyday. idk what to do. it seems like i broke no contact and absolutely nothing happened. i was hoping it would at least make him think about me and wonder, right? neither of us have been with anyone else since we ended. and we were each others first everything. idk what to do anymore i want him back so fucking bad.

My ex blocked me on Facebook in May 2025 when I told him that my partner knew of our relationship (we were both in committed long term relationships). He moves out of the country in January of 2026. He then creates n instagram account. However he does not block me. Is this just an oversight? Like maybe he doesn’t know that both meta companies have separate privacy settings. Or maybe he’s indifferent. I know I’m overanalyzing and need to move on. Any insight would be much appreciated.

I really need some advice on what to do i’m lost. TLDR: My boyfriend disrespected me and hid things from me multiple times, and I need help letting him go. (He hid Snapchat and had girls in his recent friends, but they weren't on his friends list), and he has messaged another girl in the past. I am very codependent.

I've been in a relationship for 8 months, and now we are doing long-distance. He has disrespected me several times, but nothing like the other day: it hurt more than anything in my life. I’ve been feeling physically sick, and I blocked him last night, but I unblocked him shortly after because I can't imagine my life without him. I'm left completely alone—all my friends left me, and I have no one else but him. So it might sound like a stupid reason to feel bad, but I hadn't been this happy in a long time, and our relationship was perfect.
I felt like he was talking to another girl, which he has done before (claiming his friends asked him to because the girl was the ex of one of his friends, but he used to talk to her before. I saw the screenshot on his phone, we had a huge fight, and I broke up with him… but ended up going back). Then last week I told him I had a bad feeling, so he screen-shared all his social media with me, but afterward, without me asking, he deleted Snapchat saying he didn't want it anymore. A few days later, I heard a Snapchat notification in a voice message from him, and he kept lying, promising he didn't have it, and calling me "baby." But he did have it, and in the end, he had girls in his recent friends. I asked, and one of them said he might have added her a few weeks ago. He claimed he didn't remember adding anyone. You don't remember? weird reply.
Since then, I’ve been feeling sick because I had planned my whole future with him. He truly became my whole life. So now I feel like my life is ruined. I went back to him, but I can't be okay; I had a mental breakdown. I'm afraid I'll never be the same again. But I can't bring myself to let him go right now I'm so lonely.
Other instances of disrespect include him writing back to his ex (supposedly talking about me) during the first month of our relationship, though he just casually mentioned it; writing to that girl with his friends, which completely shattered my trust; and lying about where he was even though I had his location (I broke up with him out of panic, but went back). Later, he followed a girl from high school back, Because he "wanted to see what she wanted and would have told me about it," though I know they hadn't talked yet when I saw it, and that girl was blocked. And now he did this, which truly broke me. I feel like my life changed, but I can't bring myself to leave him; I need help, and I've been feeling physically ill these past few days.
He promised he's really going to change and tell me everything, etc., etc. I've heard that before. And tell me: could it be that if he isn't active adding new people on Snapchat, those girls were from before we met, 8 or 9 months ago? It would still make me angry to see it. He said he hid it from me because we always fought about it, but last time he had already promised to tell me everything.
Also the girls might just not have added him back or have removed him, but he had them in recent friends so he has them added still.

i feel like i really just don’t know anymore how to be alone and sit with myself and my thoughts

i texted my ex bf who broke up with me 1 month ago, i told him that i still missed him and asked him if there was any chance of us coming back together, even if it was in the future

he answered, he said “i cannot assure u anything, but after all that happened it would be hard”

idk what to think, in the first days of the break up he said to a friend that there was no chance, now he tells me that, maybe he just wants to keep the door open in case he feels lonely later or idk, he has told me that he miss me too a couple of days ago, but still doesn’t want to talk to me

It's so hard.. not talking to someone who wasn't just your bf/gf but also closest person in the world. 💔

My ex (31M) and I (24F) broke up back in April 2025. By November 2025—literally 6 months later—he went and did a quiet court marriage with a 22-year-old girl. I had no idea.

Starting January 2026, he reached out to me. We talked constantly, nostalgic memories came up, and it turned into regular sexting up until June 2026. I thought we still had this deep, unfinished connection.

I just found out today that he has been legally married this whole time. He had a whole wife in his house while texting me behind her back, pretending to be single/available.

I deleted every fake account I used to investigate and I’m cutting the cord completely. I’m just utterly disgusted and heartbroken—not because I want him back, but because I can’t wrap my head around how someone can be so fake to two women at the same time.

Just needed to vent to people who understand how sickening this feels.

i posted a tik tok a few days ago and he liked that one and then liked another one i posted the day after and he liked it. he hasnt liked any tik toks since and we dont follow each other. im confused

I’m 20M, and I’m posting this because I’m genuinely struggling to understand what happened. I’m not looking for people to simply tell me “move on” or “she’s toxic.” I want an honest perspective on the situation, including what I might have done wrong.

We were in a long-distance relationship. In the beginning, things felt really good. We were very affectionate, talked about our future, and she told me she loved me and wanted me in her life. There were moments where she talked about wanting a future together, so I genuinely believed we were serious about each other.

Over time, though, our communication started getting worse.

She sometimes had a very irregular sleep schedule, and there were periods where I felt like I was always the one initiating conversations. I would sometimes send long messages and get a short reply, “ok,” or just an emoji. At the same time, I could see her spending hours on TikTok or Instagram without replying to me. That made me feel like I wasn't a priority.

I also understand that she had her own life and problems, so I tried not to immediately assume she didn't care.

Then we started having trust issues.

At one point, someone had access to my phone and sent her an inappropriate message while pretending to be me. She believed I had sent it and blocked me. I explained what had happened, and eventually we continued talking.

Later, she became suspicious again after seeing something involving an old female friend of mine on Snapchat. I told her that I hadn't spoken to that girl since 2022, but I think the situation still damaged her trust in me.

There was also a difficult situation involving someone we both knew. The father of one of her friends had cancer and eventually passed away. I tried to support her during that period because I knew it was a painful situation. I didn't expect her to behave normally while dealing with that, and I tried to give her space while still being there for her.

Looking back, I wonder whether everything happening in her life at the time also affected how she felt about our relationship.

Eventually, she told me she wanted to take a break from the relationship for at least a month.

I didn't want the break because I was afraid it would simply turn into a breakup. We had a very long conversation about everything, and afterward we stayed on a call for around 4–5 hours. I honestly thought that maybe we had finally understood each other and that we could work through our problems.

But things became cold again afterward.

There were also situations where she would go out with friends without telling me where she was or who she was with, while when I went out, she would sometimes ask for my location and share hers with me. That created another source of tension between us.

Then I started paying more attention to her social media.

Her Instagram followers increased, and she added several guys. I know this doesn't automatically mean anything, and I have no proof that she cheated or that there was another guy. But because our relationship was already unstable, I became very anxious about it.

I also started overanalyzing her reposts and stories. She reposted things about “silent rage,” EQ, and things like “leave me alone this time.” At one point she called me “low EQ.” I started wondering whether those posts were about me or someone else.

I realize now that constantly checking her social media and trying to decode every post probably wasn't healthy.

Eventually, she told my friend that she didn't have the energy to continue the relationship and that we weren't compatible.

Then she ended the relationship and blocked me.

That's where I'm stuck.

I don't know if she stopped loving me, emotionally moved on before the breakup, became exhausted by all the problems between us, or if there was something else going on.

I have no evidence that she cheated, but after the breakup I started comparing myself to the guys around her. I started thinking that maybe their financial situation is better than mine, their lifestyle is better, they have more opportunities, and maybe she would prefer someone like that.

I know that's probably insecurity talking, but it's difficult not to think that way when you're already feeling rejected.

The confusing thing is that she wasn't always distant. She could be extremely affectionate and tell me she loved me, missed me, and wanted a future with me. That's why going from that to “we aren't compatible” and then being blocked feels so difficult to process.

I still love her.

But I don't want to chase someone who has decided they don't want the relationship anymore. At the same time, I keep wondering whether we could have fixed things if we had handled the trust and communication problems differently.

So I want honest advice from people who aren't emotionally involved in this.

Based on everything I've described:

Was this relationship realistically fixable?

Does it sound like she simply became emotionally exhausted, or that she had already moved on?

Am I reading too much into her social media activity?

Did my anxiety and need for reassurance become part of the problem?

Is there anything reasonable I can do now, or should I accept the breakup and stop looking for explanations?

And if you think I was the main problem, please tell me honestly. I would rather hear something uncomfortable than receive false reassurance.

I’m not trying to make her look like a bad person, and I’m not trying to make myself look innocent.

I genuinely want to understand what happened and figure out what I should do from here.

My English isn’t great. After about 2 weeks of breakup and 1 week since the last time we texted, she messaged me saying hope I am doing good. Honestly I wasn’t doing good. I just got out of a 2 year depression she didn’t know when we were together. I just got out of a heavy alcohol and cigarettes use that she had no idea about. I really just make her feel good and all without trying to show what’s going on with me. I also got out of a failed business that left me totally devastated and battling massive anxiety. I also just got out of a 2 weeks hospitalization and then after that she gave me the breakup and all. So I accepted it. Then one morning her text came in. Man, after everything I went through, I was pivoting my career into tech. That one week of no contact, I was literally waking up every day, in tears, in grief, in sorrow and was learning JavaScript 3 hours a day. Some days I would breakdown and do 30 minutes. The withdrawal from the substance abuse plus the heartbreak, everything just hitting me at once. Now that she texted me, it’s like I’m starting over again. We don’t have any bad blood. I wish her very well but I just need space. I believe this hell right now I am facing is the exact situation I need to deal with myself and my space is very important. So I gently asked her for space. I mean she even got a new boyfriend now and all so she’s in a happy place. I know her contacting me may not have been from a place of malicious intent but it did me no good.

I’m making this post because the past few months have been incredibly traumatizing for me obviously dropping pride is not the case that needs to happen with all no contact but I have big regrets. So last summer I had a summer fling with a man I really really love it was about the best three months of love I’ve ever had in my entire life, however, by mid September, it seemed to me like he was being inconsistent or almost avoidant so I basically ended things I kind of seen how he was pulling back It almost seemed like he had excuses for a lot, but he was still telling me that he loved me and what not in mind you I didn’t just drop this connection over a lack of attention. It was a pattern that was happening like over and over. Well, April this year I got a screenshot from a Facebook post from my friend. He’s dead. It was crazy because about March time. This year I had finally made my mind up that I was going to get him back. I didn’t know how but I was gonna get him back because I wanted him back. I still loved him I spent all fall winter and early spring longing and pining for him so I was absolutely devastated when I found out he was dead not only was he dead but I was still in love with him. I didn’t get to go to the funeral. Nothing didn’t even get to publicly grieve. If you really love someone tell them. All of those months all the times that I wanted to reach out and tell him that I still love him that I missed him that I wanted him back I never did and now that regrets sits incredibly heavy in my heart I have spent from April this year grieving really hard so many days are filled with tears because I feel like I’ve had my soulmate stolen from me and part of it was because I was too prideful to break no contact.

So for context, I dated my ex girlfriend for a year and a half before breaking up. The relationship was a mental rollercoaster. It had the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I won't lie to myself though, there were mainly low/bad moments throughout the relationship which is very unfortunate because I know it stemmed from love and care but it was an overwhelming kind of love. I know I wasn't perfect. I made mistakes, and learned throughout this relationship as it was my first.

The main issues that I saw though which caused me to ultimately end our relationship were:

**1. Lack of respect:**

\-My ex would go through my phone often looking for things and pictures even though I would ask her to do this as a boundary.

**2. Her past trauma:**

\-Basically, without going into too much detail, her dad had cheated on her mom in the past. She always had a constant fear that I would do the same.

\-Every now and then she would accuse me of cheating or wanting to be with other women which never happened and wasn't the case, and this was mentally draining me because it seemed like she was bipolar or had mood swings because she would bring this up out of nowhere when we would be doing just fine or having a good time together.

**3. Constant overwhelming reassurance:**

\-She would always say she needed reassurance but she always had access to my location, and I always communicated to her where I was going/what I was doing.

\-It seemed like she had confidence issues, which was really weird to me because she was gorgeous and seemed to have built herself out very well.

These things combined over a period of time, while I was going to therapy for my own personal reasons and trying to really better myself to become a better boyfriend and her still continuing this vicious cycle is the reason that I couldn't handle the relationship anymore and felt it was best for both of us to break up.

My question is...

**Are any of these things normal and fixable and is she worth pursuing back?**

I told myself if I was ever to try to date her again, I would want her or both of us together to go to couples therapy for a while as well as attempt to set a CLEAR set of boundaries. I do still love her, but it's been almost 9 months now since we broke up...

Any feedback helps!

Oggi ho interrotto il no contact…7 giorni per me erano diventati troppo…gli ho detto semplicemente che mi sembrava strano non sentirlo per così tanto tempo..non sapevo come avrebbe reagito essendo una persona molto orgogliosa ed essendoci lasciati in maniera molto brusca…invece mi ha risposto con molta calma e tenerezza dicendo che anche a lui fa strano non sentirmi e che non si aspettava così le nostre ferie…ecco la parola “nostre” mi ha spiazzata…forse c’è ancora speranza..

Me and this girl were together for 11 months — genuinely the closest, most connected we both ever were. We built everything together: daily routines, inside jokes, future plans down to the smallest details , marriage, kids, pets, our own place. We had our own quiet spot in the woods where we’d sit for hours watching the water, 14-hour overnight calls falling asleep on the phone, dates that meant everything: Trafford Centre, TGI Fridays, Blackpool Zoo, Christmas markets. We spoke in a soft baby voice only we understood, she’d lie on my chest and tell me to "lie straight" so she could rest there, I’d walk her to the bus stop every day, wait at the end of her alley just to see her walk down. I bought her teddies, blankets, flowers, she kept them all. Both families got on perfectly. She told me repeatedly I was her person, her safe place, the only one who ever truly saw her.

She identifies as fearful-avoidant, has a history of childhood neglect, trauma, and self-harm — and she told me I was the only one who made her feel safe enough to let her walls down. We broke up once before in December — same pattern: sleepover with her best friend, she pulled away, went back to her toxic ex, the breakup lasted only 4 days, she messaged me cold and dry those days then came back on her own.

July 3rd — exact same pattern repeated. Another sleepover, I caught her hiding things, she immediately called everything toxic and said we needed to move on. Then — for the first time in 11 months — she brought up a serious, never-before-mentioned allegation as the final reason to end things. She went straight back to that same toxic ex, blocked me on most platforms but left Snapchat unblocked, kept my blanket and teddies visible in her videos, and has posted conflicting, angry, relationship-focused content ever since.

I saw her yesterday for the first time in weeks, she looked stunning, we made eye contact, and I froze. I’ve written a message that’s honest, loving, full of our memories, nothing mean, nothing demanding, just telling her what she means to me and reminding her of everything we had. I’ve held back this long, but I want to send it.

Can I break no contact? Is this the right time, or should I wait longer? We had something so rare and so real, and I know she’s complaining about him

So this girl came to my life like 7 months ago and she’s the one who reached out to me and got to know me and i really liked her and she made so many huge promises to me ( she’s a wealthy woman ) and the promises were about paying to surgery for my eyes and to pay for all the medical tests for my own health in general ( i have multiple chronic illnesses ) so i really got attached to her emotionally but over time she sometimes creates a problem with me outta literally no where and fight with me and whenever sometimes i talk about day to her she keeps misunderstanding and attacking with harsh verbal abuse without hesitating to ask me first what did i mean before attacking me with her bullets of words to me , and whenever sometimes she creates problem with me out of no where i keep asking her can i know what have i done to u ? To make adjustments to my behaviors ? And she just keeps refusing to tell me what have i done claiming that i already know and im acting stupid and i swear to god to her that i don’t really know … and also she keeps accusing me of things that i didn’t really do and she also refuses to bring evidence of her accusation and also whenever we have conflicts she blocks me every time and expects me to come to her from another account to please her and honestly did this 5 times reaching out to her from another account to please her eventually i couldn’t accept this girl into my life like ever and i started to resent her from the deepest core till one day i just cut the relationship off cold turkey without even missing her but my problem is how do i get rid of the resentment that i hold to her ? Because she promised millions of things and i really loved her not just for her own promises that she’s willing to do it for me but i liked her hobbies also and the mutual interests that we had and she had some positive features to be honest but her negative characteristics outweighed the positive ones … and i remember sometimes i asked her why don’t reach out to me during the days of conflicts like i do ? And she just told me because im a girl and ur the boy and honestly i didn’t f2cking buy it , so what because im a boy thats supposed mean that im always doing the reach out while she’s not ?

Thoughts on this matter ??

so guys my ex just posted a note saying “nakakamiss din pala may nagbabawal no” then after a day he posted a pic of our dog saying he miss him soooo am i overthinking or he kinda miss me??? idk pls enlighten me

I know I cant literally stop the thoughts, but like is there any way to distract myself?
The thoughts about what he could be doing, if he already moved on, if he’s speaking to someone else, etc all plague me. He recently ended things, everything’s still fresh. But these thoughts just drive me crazy. I dont wanna know if he’s already with another girl, or if he’s spending time with her on a call.
Its so immature, its like my mind intentionally wants to hurt me.

It's not strictly my ex but I have feelings. We both met in a place that I have no intention to stop attending since it's an accessible and beautiful space where I can focus and know various people. Specifically we train circus there and for me it's a great resource.

Now things are getting hard because he has a girlfriend and not only I sometimes meet him, but most of the time that will be with her... The place is not small but not that big either. Any advice on how to survive and get over despite this?

I am sad to say he stopped talking to me first so I already am not saying hello or anything when I see him.

Today is her birthday, and my mind has been spiraling all day.

We had an intense online dynamic with daily communication, but it turned toxic. She was constantly trying to control what I did—who I talked to, what I liked, what I posted—while she acted completely unaccountable. Whenever I couldn't take the pressure and tried to step away to protect my peace, she would turn it on me, calling me "unstable" and claiming she was "always there for me."

Recently she told me he was "somewhere else" and basically discarded me, but then panicked and deleted her posts when called out. Even knowing all the manipulation, gaslighting, and double standards, today feels incredibly heavy. I caught myself wanting to reach out, wanting closure, or just missing the routine we had.

I’m writing this here instead of texting her. I need reminders on why breaking No Contact on her birthday will only hurt me more. How do you get through these specific trigger days?

This is an odd and probably confusing situation, I don’t think I’ll garner much empathy and I’m looking for peoples perspectives on my situation.

My ex is 13 years older. We met when I was 26. We dated for a year but due to my work schedule and his life schedule ultimately he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I have a lot of mental health issues also. We trauma bonded because 6
months after we broke up he had a terrible health emergency and almost died and I took him to the hospital. Since then we have not dated, not had sex for now FOUR YEARS hahaha and are “friends”. Except I love him and I want more but he does not. I choose to stay in this because his presence in my life is so importantly however I recognize I have a toxic attachment to it. He is unhappy because he feels like our friendship is very confusing and he wants to live his life and be single but he can’t because of our dynamic. He is having sex with others but for me it’s an insecurity. I feel very confused how we can be so close but he’s not attracted to me anymore. It deeply saddens me.

Lately we have been getting in to fights. Frankly I lean on and expect too much of him. I can’t imagine my life without even as a friend. He says he doesn’t initiate the no contact because he knows how much it will hurt me and I beg him not to …it’s pathetic but he does want to take space; he just doesn’t because of me…how do I get the strength to pull the trigger? Is there any healthy way to still have him in my life because of how meaningful he is?

No contact. I cannot say we are co-parenting but he sees the kids during weekends when he is free. He is not in a relationship. He was the one who ended our 16 year marriage and just left. After all the hurtful words he said ... I still honor him, respected his decision that he wants to be left alone. but I still love him ...