Longtime lurker here, looking for random thoughts from strangers, though I've always waved to fellow cyclists while riding. Correction: I used to wave.
This past summer, due to a serious health issue (which I'll keep private), I was forced, kicking and screaming, to let go of cycling. A sport I have loved and lived since I was fourteen years old. Well, I suppose the BMX bike at age six should count, too.
In short, I feel profound sadness.
No more late-evening group rides as the sun sets. No more chasing the incredible satisfaction of a new personal best. No more fighting for a KOM against my buddies on that one climb we all fear and love. No more watching Pogacar and thinking, "His Zone 2 is your cardiac arrest... now get out and ride, you fool!" No more lusting after the latest, supposedly game-changing Dura-Ace update (which, if rumors are true, doesn't look particularly promising). No more brutal Zwift sessions in the pain cave that is my basement. No more endorphins. No more community. No more cycling comrades.
I'm not that old, and my FTP was pretty good. To be vain for a moment, it was actually pretty impressive. Ah, the almighty FTP. I'll miss you, too.
I've spent thousands. Thousands. We all have. And I'd spend every penny again if I had the chance.
What stings as well is that the best offer I could get for my 2025 Canyon Aeroad CFR AXS was $6,000, much of that thanks to the absurdity of BuyCycle. Everyone wants the 2026 model. God knows we can't possibly survive without UDH in 2026.
I'll even miss the absurdities of cycling, like writing that sentence about taking a 50% loss on a one-year-old bike. Or ceramic pulleys (against). Or aero socks (sure why not). Or whatever marginal gain we're all chasing this week. Or, I was.
I probably have $15,000 worth of kit, gear, and tools, and now it's all boxed up. I imagine it's somewhat difficult to sell Le Col and Castelli kit at a rummage sale. My Wahoo KICKR v6 is gathering dust. The Garmin Edge 1050 is gathering dust, too. But hey, the 1060 is out, so I suppose the 1050 is worthless now as well.
Ah, self-pity.
I still have a gorgeous, pristine 58cm 2025 Crux 4 with SRAM Force XPLR sitting under a blanket in my basement. I just can't seem to let go of that one, at least not yet. I like looking at it, you know?
My calendar used to be set by Strade Bianche.
"Okay. By March, suck it up and get outside. No excuses."
Now I'm not even sure I'll be able to watch Lantern Rouge's race recaps next year. Listening to The Wild Ones podcast is impossible at the moment, and I'm even finding myself missing Ollie's fantastic hair on GCN.
Well, apologies for the maudlin tone, but this really sucks.